Little things of note to me - a short note

 

As I write this, RQS is coming up by train, and I won't have much time to write later.  Right now, I am the proud resident of a mess.  It's hard to get my place uncluttered without help.  And even if I get it uncluttered, there is still so much to do.  For example, I just had tile and wall work done in the bathroom due to water damage from the shower.  What I didn't notice before is that due to shifting of the tub over the years, is that I've notices an area that needs re-caulking to prevent future issues from occurring.  While I'm at it, there are some areas that need to be re-grouted.  There goes one weekend day!

But it's not just one thing, it's the multitude of things that have fallen through the cracks and have to be taken care of.  My TV in the living room will need to be replaced, and that forces me to ask a question: Do I want to get rid of an old entertainment center (which I like, and once cost a lot) to both have more wall space and allow me to buy a larger TV.  This would make it possible for me to consider getting new carpet.  But first, I'd have to purge a lot of things from this place.  And then, it would need its first paint job in years.

Yet, it's the little things that bother me most, as I can't make enough headway in eliminating the little gatherings of clutter around the place.  Each time I empty a basket of unsorted items, I have a new one to deal with.  At least, I can say that I'm on top of my bills....

It's amazing how much of a mess was near my desk - a quick post.

 

If I'm guilty of vices other than gluttony, I'd say that my next one might be sloth.  Laziness is a hidden trait that can be attributed to me, as I don't like to work.  This doesn't mean that I won't work hard.  I just avoid hard work whenever I can.

Over the past few months, I have allowed messes to accumulate in the corners of my apartment, and I decided to attack one for a few hours (with a lot of breaks).  It's amazing what one can accomplish when one breaks work down into manageable chunks.  (I guess that my experience of being a project manager helps me in this regard.)

Sooner or later, I will get everything organized in my apartment.  Until then, expect me to talk about my mess now and then.

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This weekend, the weather is supposed to be bad.  So, when I go out as Marian, I'll be wearing a dress over leggings, mimicking the kind of garments a cisgender woman would be wearing in inclement weather.  I've found that the leggings I've bought from Universal Standard are of a much higher quality than what I have bought from Woman Within.  So, I'll try to up my garment game in the future by buying garments from brands I know have the quality level I want.

Why do I mention garment quality?   Simple.  I'm finding that well made athleisure garments tend to be more forgiving of odd shaped people when they are worn.  Not once did I have to pull up Universal's leggings during a day of wearing (except when taking bio-breaks, of course).  I can't say this about the leggings I have bought from WW or Walmart.

There will always be some garments I'll buy at cheaper outlets.  But now that I have developed a sense of my own feminine style, I can afford to buy clothes that I expect will last, instead of clothes I know will end up in a donation bag after a few wearings.

Cleaning up is so hard to do - a quick post.

 

I couldn't help it when I thought of cleaning up a mess that I would think of a toilet.  Not just any toilet, but the most expensive one I could think of.  

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Toilets have little to do with the mess in my apartment, save that I'd like to install a new one that will match the decor of my bathroom.  When I decided to run a vacuum over my carpet, I can see how worn out the carpet is, and how much I will need to do to get ready to replace it.  And even that is the least of today's concerns.  I have to start making headway in cleaning out the mess here, so that I can finally get a cleaning lady to come in on a regular basis and keep the place looking "presentable".

Right now, I've taken a break from cleaning up to prepare for RQS's arrival for a long weekend to write this entry.  It's therapeutic for me. But I will soon renew my rush to get some of the mess out of the way, so that RQS will feel comfortable.

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Unfortunately, our country is a big mess.  Those who would overturn democracy are preparing to be in charge, and I'm afraid of what will happen if they get what they want.  The playbook has been written, and there's little I can do other than to sound an alarm.  But I'm not going to think about over the next few days.  RQS is coming over, and we're going refrigerator shopping for her apartment.

You should see the mess on my desk - a short post

 

My computer desk is a dumping ground for everything that I haven't found the time or made the effort to put in a good and proper place.  So, when I look for things, they are often buried under lots of other stuff.

Tonight, I started looking for a favorite necklace.  Of course, I haven't been able to find it.  Since Vicki and I are going up to the Flax Barn Sale in the morning, I wanted to be wearing one nice piece of costume jewelry to help me feel a little more feminine.

Vicki will be arriving when I usually have become semi-conscious, shouting at Alexa to shut up!  Instead, I will need to get up 3 hours earlier than usual, get dressed in a unitard and duster (I want to be able to try on clothes in a place with no changing rooms) and be ready for a long day where much of the time will be on the road. I figure that we'll be taking Vicki's car to the Flax Barn sale, and will likely need to stop along the way.  Unfortunately, many of the NYS Thruway's rest areas care closed for renovations.  This means we may need to take an alternate route, so that we have adequate opportunity to take bio-breaks.

Once we're done with the barn sale, Vicki wants to try out a restaurant she knows up there.  I'm game for that.  But it will be a long day, and I will be exhausted when I get home.  At least, I won't have to drive to get to my brother's place for my uncle's memorial service the next day....

Taking care of some items found in the mess on my desk

 

This will likely be one of my shorter posts.  

Recently, I mentioned that I had to file some paperwork so that I can get $100 cruise credit on each of two cruises, simply for being a cruise line shareholder.  To do this, I had to wade through the mess of papers found on (and near) my desk to find a recent brokerage statement.  Most of the time, I don't bother to print this statement.  Nor do I always file the ones I receive in the mail when I receive them.  So, it took me a while to find September's statement amidst all the clutter.

However, I have a simple procedure for dealing with my bills.  I pay several at the beginning of the month (one/two is/are on auto pay), some more as they come in, and then the rest at month end.  By handling the bulk as they come in, I don't have to worry much about finding the bills when I get around to paying them.  (I use an oversize clip to hold bills, and then pay them in batches.)  If I were to ever get my desk straightened out, I'd likely use a different method.  But until then, I'll continue to do what has been working for me so far.

Yet, even essential things have been known to go missing for a while.  Ever misplace a wallet on a messy desk?  I have.  What about glasses?  Yup, I have done that too.  Even house keys have gotten lost in my desk's mess.  Luckily, I've learned how to deal with the mess and use boxes to hold things while I conduct my searches.

Aren't glad you don't have me for a bookkeeper?

Cleaning up the mess

 

If you think this mess in my bedroom is bad, you should have seen my living room!  But after 2 1/2 years of losing my 2 best friends, and 2 years of pandemic, there's a lot of mess to clean up in my life.  Getting my transgender identity in order is only part of that cleanup.

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Something I now say to any woman I want to get serious with is both that I enjoy dressing in women's clothes and that I go to work as a woman.  I play down the transgender part of my identity, as I am more than willing to live my life in both masculine and feminine roles in order to have a healthy romance.  Although it has cost me a relationship or two, I have found over the years that some women are open minded enough to take a chance with me.

A while back, FL gave me some advice, to not focus on what I would rather have been born as, but to focus on my wardrobe simply as a kink I enjoy.  And I've taken this advice.  Right now, RQS remains curious and unafraid of her possible feelings.  That's a good thing.  Unlike FL, we have progressed tolerably slowly, but steadily.  She knows what she's getting in me, and she knows the risks of a relationship with me.  That's a good thing.

As I gradually clean up the mess in my apartment, I'm gradually cleaning up the mess in my life.  I no longer think of what I lost over the past 2 1/2 years on a daily basis.  Instead, it comes up when I feel a little lonely, and have nothing better to distract me.  Cleaning up my place has taken on a new urgency, as I want RQS to visit my place for a change.  I hope that she doesn't get shocked when she sees how I live....

What a fine mess!

 

As I write this, my bedroom is in a state of total chaos.  I've been going through several boxes in which I've dumped stuff over the past two years, and have been tossing things into a garbage bag.  However, this leaves me with a mess that I still must sort through before I can get the place back in order, have my cleaning lady return, and have people over to my apartment.  (Note: I made this mess on top of a linen chest, and hope to have it cleaned off tonight.)

The first year of the pandemic was a horrible one.  Yet, I was able to go to work as Marian for the first time.  The second year was better, as I was able to get out and about, meeting people along the way.  Through dating, I was able to meet a couple of nice people with whom I am still friends.  But depression got the better part of me, as exhibited by my apartment, and it's been taking me a long time to get any traction on cleaning things up.

A quarter of a century ago, one girlfriend helped me clean up the mess that accumulated while my wife was ill.  I can't ask anyone for help with this mess today - and I wouldn't do so if I could.  This is going to be a big project, and one that will take me a long time to finish. I've been trying to do a little bit of cleaning every day.  But, given this image of my mess, you can see that it can be overwhelming.  So I'm trying to take my project management experience and use it at home - break up the work into little pieces, schedule it, and then perform the tasks.

I just wonder - How many more people were like me, and let their residences go to hell during the pandemic....?