Bermuda Cruise 2024 #1 - Port Day (10/02/24)

 

The day opened with us rushing out to breakfast, so that we could make a 10:15 am bus to the Crystal Caves.  This time, we made it to the MDR, and enjoyed a leisurely meal before going outside to meet the bus that would take us to the caves.

Riding any bus in Bermuda is a trip.  No, I don't mean that the ride would be uncomfortable, or strange things would happen on the ride.  Instead, one will see beautiful vistas on the way to almost any destination, as the main roads often have picturesque ocean views worth capturing on one's camera.  However, it will take at least an hour to get from the Royal Naval Dockyard area to reach St. George or the Crystal Caves.  So make sure one doesn't need to use the rest room until one reaches the destination, as the twists and turns will aggravate one's bladder....

 

When we arrived at the Caves, we didn't know what to expect, save that we'd be underground and that we'd be seeing limestone formations.  We weren't disappointed.  One enters the cave from a point  which is over 125 feet above sea level, and takes a set of staircases to reach sea level.  This is where the tour begins.  After being told the history of the caves, one walks across a pontoon bridge to the far end of the cave, all while being amazed by the rock formations.  At the end of the cave, the tour guide talks a little more, then turns out the lights to give people an idea of what the cave looked like to its first explorers.  And then, it was back out the way we came, getting clammy climbing a staircase with a temperature of 80°f in 95% humidity.  Once outside, the first thing I did was buy a much needed bottle of ice cold water for the two of us.

Next, it was off to see a lighthouse, and then back to the ship.  Although we were back before 2:30 pm, we didn't want to do any more exploring before the ship left port at 4:45 pm. While at the pier, I asked the security guard if I (presenting as Marian) would have trouble with security at the pier if I came with male ID, and he gave a strong NO.  That's all I needed to risk taking the next cruise with RQS presenting as a female.

It was frustrating to know that our stay in Bermuda was being cut short by inclement weather, it was good to know that this was being done for the safety of the cruisers.  Yet, I wish we could have stayed longer  After a short rest, it was off to another specialty dinner, this time at the Butcher's Cut steakhouse.  As expected, the meal was wonderful, but I couldn't finish the lamb chops that were put in front of me.  But, I left enough room for dessert, 3 scoops of lemon sorbet.

After dinner, RQS went to guest services to explain some charges on her account.  We found out that we had been given both a $50 onboard credit and a $50 refund of port fees.  Not bad.  But it couldn't compensate us for the loss of 2 days in Bermuda.  Yet, I doubt that there's much the cruise line could do to make people feel better about the loss of 2 days at this port, especially after reading a letter from the ship's captain telling us that they did try to find other ports that we could visit on this cruise.

Travel Issues

 

One of the problems with being a non-op TG traveler is that one's legal ID conflicts with their gender presentation.  That has been true in my case in my flights to Hawaii, California and Chicago, as well as my cruises from Honolulu, Los Angeles, and New York. For the most part, this has not been a problem for me, as I make sure to never visit places in which a non conforming gender presentation could get one into trouble.  Yet, I have visited ports as Mario that I'd never visit as Marian due to cultural issues in these places.  So, I choose to be careful whenever I travel.

Recently, I took a cruise from Southampton, UK to Norway and Belgium and did not have any problems in transit.  The only places that seemed to care about my ID were the airports, as US and UK security need to insure the public that flying is as safe as can be.  However, that means that I have to double and triple check rules and regulations whenever I travel as Marian.

One of my dreams is to sail home on the Queen Mary 2 as Marian.  This will mean that I have to double and triple check all UK and US requirements for entry/reentry long before I schedule this trip.  If a woman can wear a dress, then why can't I?  If I were a cisgender female this would not be a problem at all.  But there are many traditional people who see bi-gendered people like me as an anathema.  They fear what we represent, and would rather destroy us to preserve their view of the world, than to tolerate us and leave some questions unanswered.

Sooner or later, I will likely make the effort to change my name to the familiar form of my name which can be used by both genders.  And then, I will likely get a new photo on all picture ID which has me wearing an androgynous hairpiece, so that presenting this ID in male or female modes will not cause people to bat an eyelash.  But the big problem would be when/if I undergo partial facial feminization surgery, so that I look male without a wig, and female while wearing one.  This way, I can much more easily traverse the divide between male and female when desired.

Until then, I'll have to play it ultra cautious, as I don't want to be caught in the wrong place at the wrong time....

California Vacation - Day 01 (Arrival in Los Angeles)

 

Today was a day I'll remember for a while.  Not only did I have to finish packing (and I forgot a few things), but I had some experiences which were very enlightening.

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My plan was to finish getting ready for my trip, and catch a cab around 10 am to take me to the train station.  Well, I did just that, but forgot my "outdoor" glasses after I was halfway to the train station.  So, I asked the cabbie to bring me back home for a minute, and took the opportunity to pick up my glasses.  This detour cost me 15 minutes, but I was able to take the express train to Grand Central with all my luggage.

Before I go on too far, I have to mention that I have a carry-on suitcase, a 28" large suitcase, my CPAP, and a large personal bag in which I could stuff a lot of things if needed,  Since I'm travelling as Marian, all of my makeup, toiletry supplies and other needed items must me in the carry-on, and yet set up to go through TSA security.  So, I'm forced to wheel two heavy bags from one part of Grand Central (the original terminal) to another part (the LIRR addition) while getting some exercise in the process.  

Metro North deposited me near the escalators which connect to the LIRR zone, and I proceeded to buy a one way ticket to Jamaica ($5.50), where I would connect to the overpriced JFK Airtrain ($8.50) that would take me to Delta's terminal.  Once at terminal 4, I checked my bag and proceeded to TSA security where the first incident took place.

Lately, I've been finding that people seem to be treating me as a heavyset, tall, 60+ year old woman.  My presentation seems to be good enough that I am taken for a cisgender female much of the time.  So I was pleasantly surprised when the TSA agent said I was travelling with someone else's passport.  Once I opened up my mouth and spoke in a voice an octave lower than expected, he simply told me where to go to be scanned before entering the secure zone.

Two hours later, I was on the plane and headed to Los Angeles.  While on the plane, the flight attendant asked me if there was anything I wanted, and I said I'd like a winning lotto ticket.  This made her smile and we made some nice chit chat as two women would, but not as a man and a woman would with the same phrase.  She was very pleased to take care of my needs, and though it was purely professional, I have the feeling that in a different time and place, we'd have probably been good friends.

Once in Los Angeles, I met the fellow from Princess Cruises who took care of my bags and made sure that I got on the right shuttle bus to the hotel.  At the hotel, I was greeted by a fellow at the reception desk who was surprised to see me as Marian, but carrying Mario's ID.  We chatted, and he told me that he was also trans (showing me a picture of him in female mode).  However, he had to revert to male presentation, as his beard kept coming in with ingrown hairs.

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Tomorrow, I look for the people from Princess, as I want to make sure I know what the routine will be on Saturday morning when I take the bus to the cruise terminal....

One more night to go....

 

I got my Mani-Pedi, money from the bank, and I'm now almost done with packing for the cruise.  This will be the first cruise I've taken as Marian since my Hawaii trip.  And I'm looking forward to it.  Yet, I will likely NOT get off the ship, as none of the ports protect my right to go out as Marian.

So, why am I taking this cruise?

The answer is relatively simple.  I want to spend some time as Marian and try out a new cruise line at the same time.

Right now, I'm almost packed and ready to go.  I still have to find things such as a lanyard, and water shoes.  But that's about it.  Given the weather that's going to be coming up the coast, I expect that I must be prepared for anything.  One thing I'm sure of is that we're not going North or East.  South is the only practical direction at this time of year.

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Regardless of how well this new cruise line performs, I don't think I'll be a regular customer for their cruises.  This line sails out of New York and Florida (for the most part) for its North American routes, and I've seen enough of the Caribbean to last a lifetime.  If anything, I want to explore sites on the West Coast, something this line doesn't do yet.

The more I vacation as Marian, the less I want to go out as Mario.  Sooner or later, I'll have to do something about my legal ID to make it easier to travel as Marian.  Yes, I've said this before, and I'll say it again. It is very important to me that I be able to travel in any presentation that I see fit to be in.  This is one of the times I "sorta" wish that I still had FCP as a traveling partner.  She'd back me up if I were to go through a port with Mario's ID and got hassled by the local authorities.  But that chapter in my life is in the past, and we no longer are in contact.

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So, instead of making a long post, I'll get back to packing.....

I can't wait for the new year to come.

 

This year has been one heck of a roller coaster ride for me so far.  My savings are draining quicker than expected, but they are well within the limits I set when I quit my job at the imaging company.  I'll have gone on 3 cruises by year-end, and have explored both Washington, DC and Chicago on multi-day city visits.  And, I have finally had to meet my friends from Texas for the first time in person.  With the exception of losing my backpack and having my wallet stolen, it has been a pretty good year so far.

However, things aren't always what they appear to be from the outside.  I still have billing issues with a health insurance company, and I'll need help getting this resolved once and for all.  My car is 10 years old and in need of replacement.  I'm still monitoring my credit reports to see if any bogus credit applications have been made using information from my stolen ID.  And, there is still one card that can't validate who I am, causing me problems in replacing the card.  Finally, I have a medical issue that will keep me up at nights until it is resolved.

It would be nice to assume things will be OK.  But I can't do so with any of the things I deal with right now.  Hopefully, none of them will cause me too much grief in the time left in this year.

A dreary day where I had to stay in the neighborhood

 

I had 2 things I had to take care of today (Friday), and both went in directions I couldn't expect.  Both of them required me to present as a male, and I couldn't wait to get back in my dresses again.  One problem, I won't feel comfortable being in a dress until I have a wallet I am comfortable carrying again....

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The first thing on my docket was transferring money for the co-op, so that we could begin work on a long needed project.  However, I didn't have a good way to prove my identity without a legal ID with a picture on it.  How could I make the transfer without photo ID to prove who I am?  Well, the teller was sharp, and understood the problem.  Since my personal account is with the same bank, they could look up my cell phone number and text me.  One problem - my cell phone has problems receiving signal in some buildings.  Again, the teller came to the rescue - the bank's guest Wi-Fi.  Finally, I could make the transfer - but I made it to the wrong account.  (Guess where I am going tomorrow morning - three guesses, first two don't count.)  AARGH!

Next was waiting for the furniture delivery people to arrive and replace my old sofa.  They came on time, and found that my problem was caused by the first delivery people screwing up the setup - they couldn't plug in the final connector to get the recliner mechanism working.  But these guys did, and I didn't need a new sofa after all.

At this point, I took a nap.  

Later on, I looked for furniture sliders for carpets, but didn't find them in the stores.  Yes, I know that I should have found them.  But it's another item I'll be ordering from Amazon soon.  (It's amazing how much business I give them each month.  But it's better than dealing with Walmart.)  The one thing I'll miss about shopping is that I no longer have my (altered by me) BJ's card which listed my name as Marian and had my female image.  Sooner or later, I'll have to find a way to get a card in my female name....

Catching up on chores

 

It wasn't the nicest of days today. So I opted for a day indoors, and decided to take care of 4 loads of laundry waiting to be done.  Given that it was cold and wet, I saw no point in getting dressed and going out as Marian today.  Instead, I figured that I would take care of things around the apartment and catch up on chores that needed to be taken care of.

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Unlike some TG people, I keep my male and female wardrobes separate and rarely share anything between the wardrobes excepting socks.  So this forces me to take an extra step when I do laundry.  Before washing clothes, I separate whites from colors.  After drying clothes, I separate male from female clothes and store them accordingly.

Why do I mention this?

Recently, I met an acquaintance who blends items from both male and female sides of the closet. It's hard enough for me to keep things straight when switching between gender presentations without having to worry if a garment pairing appears too masculine or feminine.  In some areas of this country, people have been beaten up for much less than an androgynous gender presentation.  So, seeing this friend reminded me of why I do not blend my gender presentations, and why I work to make my feminine presentation as authentic as possible - as if I were a cisgender woman wearing the same clothes.

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I try to make my feminine presentation as accurate as possible, so that I will be mistaken for a cisgender female 99% of the time.  This would make it possible for me to visit my friends in Texas - if I were willing to take the chance to do so.  Right now, whenever I go on a cruise as Marian, I think that the cruise line's facial recognition technology spits out an error code when it scans my photo, triggering a new picture of me to be taken when I arrive at the cruise terminal.  It's too bad that I don't have feminine fat distribution.  I would love to have a zaftig woman's T&A - if only so that I can wear a woman's skirted bathing suit or garments that expose my cleavage, without my biological gender being revealed. 

There are many things that make it possible to blend in as a woman.  First comes confidence.  Next comes the quality of presentation. And finally, one needs to be comfortable in her own skin.  With the exception of having a large body, I think I do well enough to avoid having major problems. (At least, I hope so.)  With that being said, I'd like to have legal ID that corresponds to an ambiguous gender presentation (including name), save for my gender marker.  That would be good enough for 99% of the times I need to present an ID card in public.

One can dream....

By the time you read this, I will be home

 

This is the route of the cruise I am about to take.  By the time you see this post, I will be home and beginning to write entries to log what I did on my trip. But I am writing this entry on the day before I start on my bucket list trip.

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I figure that I will again leave my comfort zone by trying to "fly pretty".  Kim has documented many of her travels in her blog, "Traveling Transgender".  Sadly, she has not flown pretty to often lately, as life has happened while she was making other plans.  Hopefully, she will again be able to do so.  But if not, I will still be able to thank her for showing me that I can live the way I want if I am willing to make the sacrifices to do so.

Given that I still have an issue with how the airline has recorded my reservation, I still may have problems with Airport Security - even though I am a trusted traveler.  I hate the fact that the full version of my name is very masculine, when the familiar version of the name is good for both genders.  If I continue along this path of femininity, I will likely change my name to the familiar version of the name and look to have unisex versions of my image on my legal ids.

Relaxation will be impossible until I am in Honolulu.  Once there, I will be able to have fun.  Until then, I'll try to deal with the little things as they come at me, as it's all I can do to preserve my sanity when I'm nervous....