Lunch with an old friend (postponed), and dinner with a new meetup group.

 

Today, I was supposed to meetup with an "old" friend, and then attend a meeting with a new meetup group.  Well, things didn't work out as expected.  Just after I had gotten dressed to meet her for lunch, SJM texted me to postpone lunch, as her son was taken to the hospital.  (I won't say more than this here.)  But she had one hell of a day, and we'll catch up with each other in the morning.  So, instead of meeting SJM, I picked up an egg sandwich at the deli where I used to stop every day before going to work at the imaging firm.

It's amazing how some people remember you after a couple of years.  I was greeted warmly, with the "what happened to you?" question.  I mentioned that I had retired, then told not to make myself scarce.  (Of course not, they want my business and they like friendly faces.)  With sandwich in hand, I decided to drive up to Poughkeepsie to browse the spring offerings at Lane Bryant.  While on the road, I chatted with my friend Maria, and we caught up with what's happening in each other's lives. And before too long, I was at the mall.

It was nice being in Marian mode again.  It's been more than a week since I last presented as female.  Once inside the mall, I noticed my legs weren't used to walking any distance - something I have to work on before going to Norway later this year.  There were some nice things at the store, but nothing that said "Buy Me!"  And that's just as well.  I've spent too much on clothing lately, buying another unitard from Universal Standard, a denim dress from Eshakti, and some shoes from Woman Within.  (It's hard to pass up good bargains when these are things I want to have in my closet.)  Now, I have to buy some things to wear over the unitards I have when not in exercise mode.

Once I got home from the mall, I relaxed for an hour before driving to Yonkers for another meetup.  This time, it was at an informal pizza joint in a business park off of Executive Boulevard.  I was the second to arrive, and we were all seated at the bar in order to get separate checks.  And this is where another feminine experience comes in....

Last night, I mentioned to one of the people at the meetup that I had been shopping for a car.  Well, he offered to help me buy a car - and volunteered to be my masculine "beard" when I go back to the dealership.  (My feminine presentation must be reasonably convincing now.  Little does he know that I present as male when dealing with car issues.)  Once he saw me, he showed me the information he gathered from one dealership's web site, as well as talking about what he's learned from his experiences car shopping.  Are all men like this?  AARGH!!!!  In his own way, he respected me last night for what I knew about cars, but was treating me like a lady who needed a man in her life to deal with these things.  Am I like this when presenting as Mario?  I hope not.  Once I was ready to leave, he showed me his new car - with all the bells and whistles.  Typical male behavior....

Luckily, I was able to make a graceful exit after a few minutes and left for home.  It was nice to be able to strip off all of the garments that cisgender women hate so much!!!!

 

 

PS: My friend's son is OK, and is at home resting as I write this.

Lunch with a new friend, and dinner with an old meetup group.

 

Today was an interesting day, as I had two meals out.  The first was lunch with a new friend that left me with questions, and the other was with a group of people I know from a meetup group which I dine with from time to time.  

- - - - - -

On one of my recent trips into NYC, I met this new friend while waiting for the elevator at Croton-Harmon station.  We exchanged numbers, and agreed to meet for lunch one day.  Today was that day.  We met at a Mexican restaurant in Ossining and had a pleasant meal.  But one thing bothered me and I didn't realize it at the time - she was asking a lot of questions about me, and not sharing that much about herself.  Given that most people love to talk about themselves a little, I wonder if she was pumping me for information for nefarious purposes.  If this is so, I'll bet that she'll be a little shocked if she finds out I am not a cisgender woman.  

Why did I mention this?

Later in the evening, I was bothered by the nature of the conversation.  And I decided to talk about this with a friend I'll be meeting for lunch tomorrow.  If my radar has detected something wrong, she can help steer me to the right people who can help.  

- - - - - -

Later on in the day, I braved the rains and trekked to Eastchester for a dinner with the meetup group.  It was the usual cast of characters, and I'll bet that the men there were surprised about the knowledge I had from car shopping and my travels by railroad.  If I were a cisgender woman a generation younger than I am, I might have been interested in the more typically masculine one of them.  The other was a mousy looking fellow who I'll bet rarely attracts women.  

Why did I mention attractiveness?

Well, there were 5 people at my table: an average looking fellow at the far end of the table, a hefty fellow across from me, a mousy man catty corner from me, and a mousy woman to my side.  Ignoring myself, a trans woman whose size makes her look like a beached whale, only the fellow at the far end of the table fell in the normal range of attractiveness. And this led to a conversation I had with RQS later in the evening.  Although I attend meetups only to develop friendships, others attend these meetings as a way to kill time until they find a mate and have too little time to meet with casual acquaintances.  

- - - - - -

But, back to my lunch date....

Hopefully, my radar has detected a false positive with the new friend.  But if I'm wrong, I want to be prepared for the worst.

Valentine's Day - Only the weather at first was cold

 

I won't say too much about Valentine's Day, save that I went to RQS's place and went out for dinner.  Well, I kept joking that I'd made reservations for two at a restaurant called "Der Weissen Schloss".  She knew my joke - I would never participate in White Castle's Valentine's Day gimmick, as that would kill a relationship.

RQS knew what I had gotten her as a gift.  But I didn't know what her gift would be.  I was pleasantly surprised by her gift - a pair of earrings, golden hoops to be exact.  She more than accepts me as Marian!  YAY!   I can't wait to wear these earrings for her someday soon.

RQS and I left for dinner around 6.  We had originally planned to go to an Italian restaurant 10 minutes away by bus.  With the cold, we decided to eat at a Thai restaurant a few blocks away from her house.  One problem - the place was closed.  So we tried a local Italian joint, and they couldn't seat us until 9 pm.  That wasn't a realistic choice.  So we walked to a nearby Indian/Nepali joint.  Although the food was good, it was not to my taste - I would prefer to try another Indian place if one was available.

By the time we got home, we were both cold and tired.  Blame the weather on that....  

It's been a long while since I've been in Queens

 

It's been years since I've been to Zum Stammtisch in Glendale, Queens.  The QCLC used to go there on occasion, as it was one of the last good German restaurants in the area and we knew that all beers served there would be acceptable under the Reinheitsgebot (German Beer Purity Law).  I have enjoyed many a good dinner there from the time I was attending college, and wanted to introduce RQS to some "stick to your ribs" German food.  So, a visit to RQS's place was a perfect excuse for me to invite my brother to join us for an after work dinner.  

- - - - - -

On Friday, I started running errands in order to prepare for an upcoming colonoscopy, as well as depositing a 401K distribution in my local bank.  Now, I have enough money available to buy the new car that I put off buying due to the Covid-19 pandemic and its associated supply chain disruption.  Unlike most times I've driven to RQS's place, I knew that I had to make it to her place before 4:30 pm, as people would not be moving their cars from their parking spots until Monday.  (One can usually find a spot during the day on Saturday and Sunday.  But with a winter storm coming, no one would want to risk not having a parking spot to last the weekend.)  I was lucky - I found a spot in front of RQS's building, and there was no way I was going to leave before Sunday.

My brother arrived at RQS's place at 6:00, and we drove over to Zum Stammtisch for dinner.  My brother had been to this place once (or, so he said), but this was RQS's first time there.  So we sat down to enjoy a deceptively filling meal.  About 2 hours, we finished our meal and it was time to go home for the night.  And this was just as well, as both of us fell asleep before the 11 pm news.

- - - - - -

I have nothing much to say about Saturday, as we didn't bother to go out of the apartment for anything.  But Sunday was something else.  I had to leave, and start getting things ready for my colonoscopy prep to start on Monday.  So, I packed up my stuff and left for home with a quick stop at Stew Leonard's along the way.  Looking at the road, I noticed that NYC had been spared the brunt of the storm.  But as I crossed into Westchester, snow had stuck on the ground.  By the time I got home, I figure that there was 3 inches of the white stuff on the ground near my place.  I can only imagine what it was like further North and West of here....

I'm going to get really fat if I don't watch out

 

Today, I ended up having two meals out with friends.  How I did that, I don't know.  But I did enjoy both meals along with the company I had.

- - - - - -

If it weren't for the fact that today would be the only time this month that I could see my friend from the census without problems, I would have preferred to stay in and relax for the day.  I hadn't gotten enough sleep last night, and the alarms only got me going around 11:00 am for a 12:30 pm lunch.  This ended up being perfect for me, as I arrived at the Italian joint in town and found my friend just sitting down to wait for me to arrive.

This was a day where I dominated the conversation, describing what happened on my most recent cruise. Hopefully, I did it in a way that kept her interest, as I'm pretty sure that she will never sail with MSC. While Carnival is described as the Walmart of cruise lines, catering to the "value oriented" customer, I described MSC as the bastard offspring between Target and K-Mart. From Target, MSC gets the glitz that attracts people to cruise with them.  And from K-Mart, MSC gets the low quality that causes people to say "Never Again!"  People attracted to MSC do not want the Carnival cruise experience, but want a subset of the experiences one can get on other, higher priced, cruise lines. Eventually, lunch had to end, and I proceeded home.  Originally, I was going to go to Jersey and do some shopping.   But I felt that I should put my leftovers in the refrigerator before going out.  As a result, I never bothered to go out until I met Vicki for dinner at Lefteris Gyro.

- - - - - -

I met Vicki just after she was done with her exercise class, and she was famished.  This time, Vicki would be the one carrying leftovers home.  Vicki listened to me describing the cruise, knowing that neither of us would likely cruise MSC in the future based on my most recent experience.  Yet, I felt this was a shame, as with a little more attention to the quality of the experience and less on nickel-dimeing the cruiser, they'd have product good enough to seriously make a run at grabbing market share from the big-3 American based cruise line corporations (Carnival, Royal Caribbean, and Norwegian).  Vicki told me about her retirement plans (which I won't go into here) and chatted about things going on with her and her husband.  All I will say about that is that he will go more than the extra mile for her.

All too soon, dinner had to end and we had to go our own ways.  Not to worry.  I'll see her again when I have my colonoscopy next week....

 

Chicago Girls Trip - Day 1

 

What was it that John Lennon said?  "Life is something that happens while you are making other plans."  Well, our first day in Chicago was one where we started to try to do things according to plan, and where our actions diverged from the plan shortly after we started.

We met at 8:30 am (a big stretch for RQS and I), and had breakfast at a local eatery.  Once done with breakfast, we marched off to our first stop in a light rain - the El that would take us to the Bus's starting point.  And that's where our plan unraveled.  The train that would take us to the Loop was late, and we had to try something else.  And that's where we got lost - even with the use of Google Maps!  (I hate their walking instructions, as it's too easy to go in the reverse direction from where one wants to head.)  After some effort, we got to the Willis Tower and got on the bus.

Our first stop would be the Art Institute of Chicago, where we spent a couple of hours skimming what the museum had to offer.  There is way too much to see in one visit, and we were not out to perform a superhuman effort to do so.  After a quick lunch, it was off to the Field Museum for a while.  That's where my back problems got to me, and I had to sit down more than walk.  Once done there, we went out to catch the tour bus that would take us to Navy Pier, a tour bus that didn't come.

When we had waited 45 minutes, we decided to use our multi day passes for Chicago's mass transit system, and take a local bus to Navy Pier.  (This might have been a mistake, as the tour bus came shortly after we gave up on it.)  It was bitterly cold all day, and we needed a place to warm up and eat before our scheduled night time river tour.  Luckily, we found it at the pier.  But we ended up skipping the river tour.

After dinner, luck finally smiled upon us, as a bus that runs along Chicago avenue was waiting at the bus stop, and we found we could take it directly to our hotel.  So we did!

Dinner with my former student voice clinician

 

Today's entry is going to be a quick one, as I have to leave for RQS's place in a little while.  But it involves dinner with someone who helped me become the woman I am (for better and worse).

- - - - - -

Several years ago, I started transgender voice training at Mercy College's (now, University's) speech and hearing clinic, where future clinicians are trained.  Compared to the rates charged by one NYC practitioner who has an office on Broadway, I was getting a bargain.  But the help I could get there was limited, as the students rotated in and out of in-school clinical practice every semester.  As a result, the quality of service varied quite a bit, and that there would be a limit to the amount of help I could receive at Mercy.

LK and I have developed a friendship over the years. She is the only student clinician that I encountered who was "fully adult" (she was approaching 40) when I met her.  Last year, she had a baby, and his health complications got in the way of us meeting for a while.  So, getting together with her was a special event.  I was surprised to find that she is pregnant again, and experiencing all of the classic symptoms of pregnancy that she was lucky to have missed the first time around. I won't go into the details of what we chatted about, save that we caught up on each other's lives and hope to get together much more often, now that they have a handle on her son's issues.

All too soon, it was time to leave, and we had to go.  LK went home, while I went to Walmart to pick up a couple of last minute items that I needed for my trip.

Having dinner with VW

 

Although the above looks nothing like the dinner I had tonight, it tasted as good as this dinner looks.  It's been forever since VW and I have gotten together, and it was nice to see her again after almost a year.

But first...

It's been forever since I've seen VW.  When it appeared that I had double booked dining dates with VW and TCL, I asked TCL to postpone things as it's harder to meet with VW than TCL.  Unfortunately, TCL and I have yet to find a good date where I can finally get together with her (as Mario).  So, I'll likely find a free weekday to meet TCL and have a long postponed "birthday dinner".

Back to VW and dinner...

The other day, I found a long missing dress safely stored inside a chest I plan to give away.  Given how much I love this dress, I was elated when I was able to show this dress to RQS - she thought it looked great on me when I dropped her off at the train station.  And I planned to wear it when I saw VW later on.

VW and I agreed to meet halfway between our two residences.  This meant that we'd meet somewhere in the Brewster vicinity, and I figured that I'd need 45 minutes to get there.  Around 5:30 pm, I put my dress back on, and drove to the restaurant to meet VW.   Just as I got to the restaurant, I got a call from VW - her GPS wasn't working, and needed directions to the restaurant.  Given that she took NY-22 most of the way, I gave her instructions on how to find the restaurant once in Brewster.

Since VW was going to be delayed for a few minutes, I decided to fill up my gas tank and fine tune the directions I gave her.  So, after I returned to the restaurant, I called her and told her how to complete her trip.  Shortly afterward, she arrived and we proceeded to order dinner. Although I won't discuss the topics VW brought up, I talked about RQS and our recent trip to California.  Soon, dinner came and we had a leisurely meal. Unfortunately, the service was even more leisurely to a fault.  It took forever for us to get our bill and to get our change.

Since we were the last people in the restaurant, we knew it was time to go home.  As we left the restaurant, I was reminded of why VW and I never made it as a couple - we both had the wrong baggage for us to be each other's match.  At least, we could be good friends....

California Vacation 2023 - San Francisco (Day Two)

 

The first thing I wanted to do today was to take a trip to Fort Point, and pay my respects to my late wife. (This is where I scattered her ashes.) Unfortunately, the fort was closed, and I scuttled this plan for the day. Instead, we were off to the Swan Oyster Depot to have a good seafood meal.


After breakfast, we bought another day pass on the Muni, and walked over to the trolley stop to start our journey. Instead of the expected trolley car, a bus was servicing the line. This would be the theme for today’s travel - substitution. Even if we wanted to take a cable car for part of today’s rides, it looked like San Francisco’s cable car network wasn’t running, as I saw some buses running on the California Street cable car line as substitutes for the cable cars. The bus we took to the Oyster Depot was rerouted to avoid the area where the president was in town for a conference.

We made it to the Oyster Depot by 12:30, and ended up waiting 45 minutes to be seated. With only 18 seats in the place, a long wait is always possible here. But once seated and fed, it was all worth the effort to make it here. YUM! I had the smoked salmon with shrimp salad, while RQS had the mixed plate of clams and oysters. Both of us had clam chowder. It was well worth the $120 spent on this meal.

 

Then, it was back to the ship. Both of us knew that our stay in “Fog City” was too short, and that we’d want to visit this city again. As the ship left the bay, RQS and I got some interesting pictures from our balcony. It was too bad I couldn’t have book-ended stills and videos of our arrival in the San Francisco bay with our leaving the bay. But it was nice to get views of both Alcatraz and the Golden Gate Bridge on our way to our next stop, San Diego.

This was not yet the end of our day. It was Italian Night in the main dining room, and our waiter made sure that we had extra dishes for each course. Yum! Although we didn’t eat everything in front of us, we had a good sampler of what the restaurant had to offer. And this was a nice touch that we didn’t experience on our other cruises. Did I eat too much? For the day, yes. But not at this meal. Everything was served in “human sized” portions. So if I had been hungry, I’d have no problem ordering a second (or third) place of something to enjoy.


Once done with dinner, it was off to the lounge, where we saw our two friends from the other night. This time, Sue was more a part of the conversation, and we had a couple of hours of good chatting before it was time to go to bed for the night.

I just got a new dress from Universal Standard at a deep discount.

 

The above dress in yellow does nothing for the model in the picture.  But change it to blue, and the dress works very well on me.  And this is what I wore to night to have dinner with Vicki.

But first....

RQS had come up for a rare start-of-week stay, and we had a great time together.  No, we didn't do much of anything, save keep each other company for a few days.  While here, I told her of the dress I ordered from Universal Standard with a very deep discount.  I won't say how much of a discount I received, but it was enough for me to drop the hammer on buying a new dress when I wasn't planning on buying one. 

 

If I had known that this dress would be available in this color when I decided to buy the first dress, I might have chosen it instead.  I like the color, and I may still drop $148 (plus tax and shipping) to buy it if I have some extra money by the end of the month.  

Yet, I digress....

RQS thought the first dress looked good on me, and I did too.  So I wore it when dropping her off at the station to go home, and to pick Vicki up for dinner tonight - and I got compliments from Vicki as well. I think Vicki was surprised that I arrived at her house a little bit early.  This wasn't much of a problem, as we got to the restaurant relatively quickly.

Lefteris Gyro is one of our go-to places when we want Greek food.  They serve enough food there to feed an army, and I had enough food left over to be tomorrow's lunch. Although I won't say much about the conversation we had, it seems more likely that she and her husband may be spending their retirement in New York for reasons I won't go into here.  This pleases me for one reason - one of my closest friends may stay nearby in retirement, and I won't lose contact with her (as I almost did with WDS when he moved to Florida).

All too soon, I had to drop Vicki off at her house.  Hopefully, I'll be able to see her again before my next trip (and possibly introduce her to Vicki #2).

Seeing TCL for Dinner

 

If I had had my choice today, I would have gussied myself up before seeing TCL for dinner.  But today was the second drab day of the weekend, and I felt that TCL would be happier if I met her as Mario.

- - - - - -

Like yesterday, I didn't do much until I had to get moving.  But I did get to TCL's place on time for a change.  And this was for the best, as the restaurant we went to was empty when we got there, but packed when we left.  

TCL lives in a nice little town in New Jersey, her house being less than 1,000 feet away from the local railroad station.  If the railroad wasn't there, we could have walked to the restaurant.  Instead, we had to drive 1/2 mile to reach the place.  (This is not a problem for us.)   On the way there, she mentioned the purchase of an undergarment to be worn in case she might get "lucky".  (This is something you'd say to a good friend, and she made sure I knew that it was for a "someone else" if he came along.)  I already knew that she had no intentions towards me, and I let her know that, so she could feel more comfortable after saying that.

A minute later, I parked the car at the restaurant. As expected, the place was empty, and we were seated at a nice table, where we proceeded to have a nice Italian meal with some red wine. (The place is BYOB, so TCL has taken care of the wine when we go to this restaurant.)  By the time we left, the place was packed with at least a dozen people waiting by the door. And then, it was the short drive home. 

We chatted in the car for about 45 minutes, and then she had to go in and I had to go home.  I was amazed that she didn't make a comment on my newly pierced ears.  But then, she was focused on something else - how to tell someone something without making that person feel awkward.  I gave her some ideas on how to approach discussing the topic with her friend, and hope she refines them into something she finds she can use for herself.

Seeing FH for a seafood dinner

 

It's been a while since FH and I got together, Part of me was ambivalent about seeing her, as we do not have too much in common.  But then, I think my ambivalence was related to once dating FH.  Today's post has almost nothing to do with me being transgender, save that I showed FH pictures of me in Marian mode while in Hawaii.

- - - - - -

When I have nothing to do, I relax as much as possible, and relax I did. By the time I was ready to drive to FH's place, it was 4 pm, and I still had to gas up the car, then get cash for the week before proceeding to FH's place.  As much as I tried to avoid some traffic jams, I still took longer than expected to get to Forest Hills.  Once FH got in the car, it was like old times.  No, I don't mean that things went smoothly.  Instead, I mean that it was obvious why I could never have a serious romantic relationship with her, and why she could only be the type of friend I could meet for an occasional dinner once in a blue moon.

We arrived at the restaurant a little bit early, and sat down for dinner as soon as we arrived.  Yes, it was a little bit of sticker shock for FH, but I wanted her to make sure that whenever we get together that it is "dutch treat". She wanted an adult drink, while I could have settled for something a child would drink. Yet, she didn't know what she wanted to drink, and had the waiter suggest a drink.  Too bad that she didn't like it - she had to flag down our waiter to get a different drink.  As for me, I have several go-to adult drinks that I will order, and I decided to have one with dinner.

After waiting a while (and eating the bread, carrots, and celery that was in front of us), dinner came - and we both were filled to the gills. And then it was time for us to go home.  By the time I dropped FH off, I realized how much I missed RQS and wished that she were here with me. 

This was going to be a busy weekend

 

The old fashioned calendar. If my generation had one or two things scheduled for the day, we'd write them inside one of the boxes that corresponded to the date of the event(s).  If we had a lot of things scheduled for the day, we'd have a daily schedule book with hourly lines in which we'd enter our appointments.  Right now, I have things scheduled for every day that RQS will be away, and I wish I had made more time for myself.

- - - - - -

Thursday was reserved for seeing one of my TG friends for dinner.  She's more of an acquaintance, but someone I enjoy seeing now and then.  If it's possible, RQS and I may attend this woman's party next week. The way things look, this could be the only opportunity I have to present myself as Marian this week, as I'll have to be out as Mario on Friday and Saturday.

Friday was reserved for seeing FH for dinner.  It has been months since I've seen her, and it will be interesting catching up on things.  Part of me is hesitant to do so, even though RQS is aware of this.  No, nothing will come of it, but I think my ambivalence is that FH is not a person with whom I want to have too close a friendship.

Saturday was reserved for seeing TCL.  It's been a long while since we've been together, and I'm not in the mood to skip seeing her again.  With this being said, friends from Yonkers game nights will be going to a comedy club at the same time - and I will miss being with them.

Sunday is a day that I'll have mostly to myself.  Assuming I wake up early enough, I'll be attending church as Marian.  Afterwards, I may go into NYC to see an off-Broadway play.called: "Welcome to Clown Town."  The following citation from the play's website made me interested in going to see this performance:

A solo performance that dives into the bizarre and cantankerous mind of Pixie the Clown. Part birthday party, part therapy session, this live show shares the real-life tales of being a party entertainer in America.

Picture this: the audience rolls into a seemly delightful birthday party filled with bright colors and balloons. The sounds of children laughing with glee are heard as Pixie rolls onto center stage. With her sweet smile beaming, she pops a balloon with a hint of murderous rage: "Awwww, may it rest in pieces". This begins the rock 'n' roll ride through outlandish personal stories of working as a party clown in NYC and Hollywood.

Join Pixie/me in our NSFW immersive experience, as I spit stories (like the time I was run down by gang members) while playing fun party games that consenting audience members can participate in!

This mad-capped adventure blends oral storytelling about a Latina just trying to make ends meet with Pixie the Clown's irascible inner monologues about how to change the world.

The phrase "AWWWW, may it rest in pieces." was what caught my interest. And with my unusual sense of humor, I planned to go to the last performance of this show.  Since I'll have gone to church as Marian, I'll be taking the train into Manhattan as Marian as well.  It'll be nice to start the week off right!

- - - - - -

By the time you read this, everything on the schedule will have already passed.  I'll write more about the weekend as things progress....

Sometimes, it's better to stay home - a short post

 

Since RQS was getting together for dinner with an old friend tonight, I had a choice to make.  Do I go into NYC and attend one of the last 20 at 20 off-Broadway specials ?  Or, do I stay home, go shopping, and have a quiet night by myself?  Well, I'm glad I chose the latter....

I didn't get moving until 5 pm.  And I ended up making the choice to go for dinner at a local diner, then going to Wegmans to go grocery shopping. This was a stroke of fortune, as I had major GI tract issues after I finished loading my car and needed access to a rest room.  I could also say that I was glad to be in Marian mode, as it gave me more options after cleaning myself up.  

More often than not, wearing women's clothing can be much more inconvenient than wearing men's clothing.  Yet, I prefer doing this, as I feel that I can be my authentic self this way.  (Now, if only I had more physical attributes of a cisgender female.  I'd love to have a nice pair of breasts to put into my bras. Yet, that's a future stop on my path towards femininity.)  In the future, I will be making hard decisions, with input from my partner - how far do I really want to go, and will it be worth doing with the sacrifices being made?  Hopefully, the trade-offs will be small in relation to the gains I make.

DC Trip 2023 - Day 01

 

Alexandria, VA - Old Town.  This was where we stayed in the DC metropolitan area.  The hotel we planned to stay at was about a block's walk from the Metro station, and had been chosen for easy access to Washington DC.  I figured that if we could easily commute into the city from a nearby suburb, we'd be able to avoid the need for a car while in the city - and I was right.

But first....

Since I hadn't heard back from one of my TG friends and that the other was at a Cosplay Convention, I decided that I would make this trip as Mario.  This would be an advantage for me, because it was too cold (save for the last 2 days of our trip) for me to wear the skirts and dresses I love wearing when presenting as Marian.  So I packed my bag only with Mario's clothes and stayed the night with RQS the day before our trip to DC.

Thursday morning came, and we were off to DC.  We took an Uber to Penn Station, but the driver didn't know enough to drop us off on West 33rd Street, in the designated area for Uber/Lyft pickups and drop-offs.  So we ended up getting out of the car on 8th Avenue - something I dislike when dealing with baggage.  Our next stop was the Amtrak waiting area, but we didn't have long to wait.  We were able to board the train within 20 minutes of our arrival.

Those who take Amtrak know that most trips tend to take longer than scheduled - save for trips along the Northeast Corridor.  This section of the national railroad network is controlled (mostly) by Amtrak, and has a reasonably high number of on-time trains.  For a 11:35 am departure, we knew that we'd be in DC around 3 pm - and we were not disappointed.  But then, it was time to find a cab to take us to Alexandria.  Unlike the outside chaos at New York's Penn Station, things at DC's Union Station are calm and reasonably organized.  It was easy for us to find a cab to get us where we needed to go.  So we headed to our hotel, checked in, and relaxed for a while.

Around 5:30, we departed the hotel and walked 1 block to the Metro.  We met RQS's cousin (and his wife) at Hot 'n Juicy Crawfish in the Adams-Morgan section of town, and had a great time.  But all too soon it was time to go back to the hotel.  It was nice for the cousin to offer to drive us back - and we got into a friendly, animated, but not agitated conversation. (When talking about the GOP and its attacks on our freedoms to control what is done (or not) to our bodies, I mentioned where I stand on transgender issues.  Luckily, both RQS's cousin and his wife lean left of center.)  When we got back to the hotel, the cousin's wife made sure to give us an extra friendly hug - as a way of telling us that they really enjoyed our company, and want to see us both again soon.

Unused Tableware and Coincidences

Years ago, my late wife bought 28 table settings with the idea (expressed to me) that she could entertain her extended family at one sitting.  Unless someone has either a large family, or a large circle of acquaintances she entertains lately, as well as a dining area large enough to entertain them, I can't see this being a reasonable purchase. 

These place settings were purchased before I met my wife, and were never used while we were married.  About a year after she died, my girlfriend and I packed these table settings into two large Rubbermaid containers, and transported them to my brother's place for storage.  My intentions were to give these place settings to my niece when she got married.  But this was not to happen, as she got married in London and is living a minimalist lifestyle unlike that of her parents and grandparents.  These place settings ended up sitting in my brother's basement for over 25 years, and didn't need to be dealt with until now.

Recently, my brother decided to deal with long deferred maintenance on his money pit of a house.  One of the things he needed to take care of was fixing the foundation of his house and doing a fresh pour of cement in the basement of his house.  This meant that everything in the basement had to be cleared out. As a result, I decided to keep 6 place settings, and give the rest to charity.

So, I drove to my brother's place and sorted through these table settings, separating them into a set of 6 for me, and a set of 22 for the charity.  Once done with that, my brother and I went to a German Restaurant in Franklin Square.  I was looking for something tasty to eat, and I noticed the lack of Sauerbraten on the menu.  (This was the last dish my wife cooked for me before she was too weak to cook anything.)   Coincidentally, It was about this time of the year when she became too ill to go to work, and the severity of her illness couldn't be denied any longer.  My memories of my late wife were getting triggered right and left. Yet, it wasn't strong feelings of sadness I felt.  Instead, it was a feeling of letting go of the past.  Part of my wife was moving on to a (hopefully) better place.

Would my late wife approve of what I did?  Who knows?  But I'm hearing no complaints from the great beyond....

Hawaii Vacation - Day 09: Luau in Kauai

 

Today's excursion takes place in the evening.  I booked a ticket to Luau Kalamaku, having no idea what to expect from this excursion.  And I hoped that this excursion would be well worth the time and money spent on it.

But first....

 

Since my excursion took place late in the afternoon, I slept late.  This was likely the best thing I could do, as I had to listen to my body and it was telling me it was time to rest.  Eventually, I got moving at a "civilized" hour, got showered and dressed, and made it off the ship for a couple of hours.  Unfortunately, I did not know of the shuttles that would transport me to and from the nearby shopping center, so I had to move slowly to stay comfortable.  After spending some time eating some ice cream and sitting in the shade, I caught the shuttle and went back to the ship to rest until the luau.

- - - - - -

I called RQS and chatted for a while and then freshened up to go to the luau  By now, I have gotten used to presenting my male ID to security while presenting as female.  Considering where many transgender folk are in their journeys, I consider myself to be very lucky.  Confidence in one's presentation is very important to being accepted in one's gender.  For example, there always seems to be a line for the women's room.  A nervous transgender will give off signals such as: "Will they see me as something other than female?"  "Will someone figure out what I am and cause me trouble?"  And I've silently asked these questions in the past when I was new to presenting as female.  Now, I stand in line with the rest of the women and chit chat when a woman wants to talk with me.  We're there to go and do our business, and being confident in how I do that goes a long way to being accepted as female and being treated as one.

Around 4 pm, I walked into the ship's theater which was being used to stage 3 groups of people going to the luau.  There was one person telling us about Hawaii, the Luau, and the Debarkation process to keep us occupied until our buses were ready to take us where we were going.  Since the ship was only 10 minutes away, we were all at the luau by 5 pm.

 

The luau consisted of 3 parts: General Entertainment, Dinner, and the presentation on Hawaiian cultural history presented in dance. The first part had performers singing various songs (including holiday tunes) to entertain us, and to get us used to the cultural history presentation to come.  I wasn't that impressed by this part of the luau, simply because I couldn't get into the performances - my mind was elsewhere, probably focusing on the dinner yet to come.

Dinner was served buffet style.  There were two meats available to eat - Pork and Chicken.  Both were very tasty.  But one does not go to the luau to rave about the food.  It is more like going to a dinner theater where the food is decent, but the performance is better than expected.  And that was true of the cultural history performance to come.

I was queued for the ladies' room when the show began.  Hawaiians, Tahitians, and others are cut from the same "Bad Ass" stock.  It took a lot of guts to explore the pacific in double hulled canoes and settle in remote islands - all without modern technology.  And this part of the show illustrated what these people went through to find, then settle Hawaii.  Although the show started off slow, it had an exciting climax with men dancing with fire in motion.  

All too soon, the show ended and it was time to return to the ship.  As usual, I had to get wanded by security, even though I had eliminated all the metal from my body.  My first stop was at the photography area, where I bought several pictures for display.  (I had to burn off the bulk of my $100 cruise credit, or lose it.) Then it was back to my room to relax for the evening.

Hawaii Vacation - Day 04: Kualoa Ranch & Embarkation

The Kualoa Ranch.  It has been the setting for many TV shows and Movies.  You may recognize the scene above from movies such as the Jurassic Park franchise and the "recent" remake of Mighty Joe Young.  The ranch is beautiful, and well worth a visit.

But first....

Last night was my last night in Honolulu.  Packing my bags was an exercise for what I'll need to do a week from now when I return home from Hawaii.  And I didn't pack as well as I did when I was at home.  At least, I'll have more time to prepare for my next set of flights.  Next time, I'll have to pack as much as possible in my large bag without exceeding the 50 lb. limit - a task I'll dread the closer the time comes for me to do it.  At least, I have an accurate hand held scale to use while packing the bag.

Today, I knew what I had to do to have some food in my stomach before today's excursion.  To be safe, the night before, I had picked up a couple of bananas to eat if I couldn't get any food from the coffee shop in the hotel building.  And I was doubly fortunate that today's line was short enough to allow me to get a cup of black coffee and a breakfast turnover.  

So I left my large suitcase in the room for NCL to pick up and bring to the ship, then checked out of the hotel.  I was on the bus at 7:00 am, but we didn't get moving that early.  There was a "fun run" going on, and it got in the way of us going to the Kualoa Ranch via the normal route.  Instead, we had to go through an upscale residential district to get out of the Waikiki area and out of Honolulu.

The city of Honolulu is larger in area than I thought, and we made a stop at the Halona Blowhole Lookout.  This is a beautiful place to catch a view of the ocean.  But it was very windy there, as evidenced by the photo below:

I certainly don't look very attractive in this picture.  But I felt good, as people were accepting me as the female I wanted them to see.  

Our next stop was a Buddhist temple in the middle of a cemetery.  It was a pretty place to visit, but we only used it as an opportunity to make a pit stop for bio breaks.  Other than the small main area of the temple, there wasn't that much to see except for a bell that could be rung.

Of course, a chance to ring a giant bell is not enough to justify lingering at this place.  It was time to go to the Kualoa Ranch.  I wasn't sure of what to expect when I got there.  But I knew one thing - I'd get some beautiful pictures, like the one below..

One thing I've noticed in Hawaii is that almost every tour guide talks about is that few things on the islands are "pure Hawaiian."  In the case of human settlement, less than 2% of the people living in the islands are "pure" Hawaiian stock.  (Even the origins of "native Hawaiians can't be determined, as there were at least 2 waves of Polynesian settlers to the islands.)  In the case of plant and animal life, each group of settlers brought their own plants and animals to the islands (see images of "Canoe Plants" below) which squeezed out much of the native flora and fauna.

 

 
Arriving at the Kuoloa Ranch, we went through an "Educational Experience" about how outside plants and animals have changed the islands.  Sadly, I couldn't maintain any interest in the presentation, as I hadn't been able to have a bite to eat since 6 am and was falling out due to a low blood sugar level.  Luckily, the presentation was short, and a tasty box lunch was served a little bit before noon.  After this was the movie site tour of the ranch.

All too soon, our time on Oahu had to end.  We got back to Honolulu by 3:30 pm, and then embarked on the ship.  Arriving after the majority of people have boarded the ship allowed us to breeze through check in and security. At that point, we were able to get on the ship.

(Pardon the hokey picture.   I bought it to get a

discounted price on the pictures I really wanted.)

The Pride of America (POA) has an interesting history.  The cruise line that commissioned the ship went bankrupt.  NCL bought the unfinished ship, and had it towed to Germany to be fitted out for service.  Congress enacted a law to allow this ship (and another non American built ship) to sail as US flagged ships.  Although no other cruise ship sails under a US flag, POA does, and is able to make the 7 day Hawaiian Island round trip from Honolulu.

Once on the ship, the first thing one will notice is that the ship reeks of America.  The seal of the United States is on the floor by the grand staircase - which, itself has an "American" feel.

 

Now, it was time to find my room.  Although I was below the buffet area, I didn't notice much noise coming from above.  However, I did get a little upset that my large suitcase hadn't yet made it to my cabin. So, I ended up going to guest services to take care of this, finding out that my suitcase was in transit, and that it should make it to my cabin before we left port.  Unfortunately, I wasn't able to get my dinner reservations taken care of at this time, as the crew was starting to get ready for the mandated muster drill.

 

Most of the ship seems a little bit dated, as this is a 20+ year old ship. Yet, everything is in good repair.  Unfortunately, the bathroom is a little cramped and does not have enough room to store a woman's toiletries.  (It must have been designed by an unmarried male.  No hotel designs bathrooms anymore without input from females.) Additionally, the shower stall is separated from the rest of the bathroom by a shower curtain.  Yet, I did not find that shower water would flow into the rest of the bathroom, unlike an accessible bathroom I stayed in at a land based casino/hotel complex.

After the muster drill, it was time to get comfortable.  By the time I was ready to eat, I decided to try out the buffet - a big mistake.  Unlike all other onboard buffet experiences, I could not find utensils or napkins at any of the tables - I had to ask an overworked employee for help.  Like cabin service, food service was understaffed.  In the "post Covid" environment, it's hard to find enough qualified American workers to staff this ship.

Around 8:00 pm, I had a decision to make: Do I go to the Solo Travelers gathering, or do I go to the LGBTIQ gathering?  I made the obvious choice: I decided to go to sleep for a while.  And sleep I did, as I didn't wake up until 1:30 am....