Lately, I've been caught in a web of ambivalent feelings. Now that options are being made available to me, I have mixed feelings about my choices. This may be a good thing, as 5.5 years of semi-retirement have taught me the value of having time to myself.
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Today started with a couple of calls, one of them being spam. The other was a reminder that my iPad was ready to be picked up from the fixit shop, and that I should get there today. But I was tired from the night before, as I first went to sleep without my CPAP mask on, and then stayed awake until 5-6 am or so. There was no way I'd be up and out the door around 10, so I let myself wake up when my body wanted to do so.
Around 1 pm, I moseyed over to the fix-it shop and picked up my iPad. Then, it was over to the library to pick up some books that were being held for me. Unfortunately, only 2 of the 3 books were available. But that should give me a head start in catching up on things, as 1 of the books looks like it'll be a heavy read.
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The other day, when I got the first call from the census bureau, I wasn't sure if I wanted the position. My reason was simple - unless the money was too good to refuse, I didn't want to work as Mario again. Instead, I wanted (and still want) to work as Marian. But with the current anti-TG political regime in Washington, I wasn't sure about taking on the Office Operations Supervisor position. Did I want to go to work as Mario to earn a few extra dollars, or did I want to spend as much time as possible as Marian?
During the past week, I surveyed several people I knew from the TG community about whether I should: (1) Go to work as Mario for the duration of the job, (2) First go to work as Mario, and transition to Marian on the job, or (3) Start off going into work as Marian, even if it meant not getting the position in the first place. Given that I knew of at least one cisgender male who goes to work in female garb, I figured that I needed to find out whether I could do so before starting the pre-employment process.
When I got home from today's errands, I returned yesterday's call asking whether I received paperwork. While on the phone, I took the opportunity to ask whether there would be any problems with me being gender non-conforming. And I was told that this would not be a problem. YAY! Now, I am much more comfortable with the idea of taking on this position, as I can go in to work in female mode every day.
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