The snow still is on the ground, and they still are moving it out of the way.

 

I wish I had captured a shot of the front loader lifting the snow into this pile.  And this was the shorter of the piles flanking my building. The pile on the other side must be another 3 feet higher than this pile.

- - - - - -

The first thing on the docket for the day was a visit to my doctor.  However, they weren't plowed out yet, and they weren't having people to come to the office.  So today's appointment was rescheduled for tomorrow, and it will require that I get up an hour earlier than usual.  At least, I won't have to spend the extra time getting made up as Marian to see him.  (He only knows me in my masculine presentation.)  

Again, I had to move my car for the driveway/parking lot to be cleaned.  So I again had to go out and take a drive.  This time, I was able to pick up breakfast at a local deli, and see some more freshly fallen snow before going home.

- - - - - -

Today, I sent the last of my paperwork to a potential employer.  However, I am still looking for interesting work, in a place where I'd get benefits for working full time.  Since I'm not working at this place yet, I figure that it would be best if I don't mention what I'd be doing on the job until I have started doing it.  However, if I do start this job as scheduled, my dentist appointments will be at the end of the day, and they will be (out of necessity) in female mode for scheduling purposes.  Luckily, he has already seen me this way, so it shouldn't be a problem.

It'll be strange working as Marian again.  The more I'm out in the world, the more natural I am in my feminine presentation.  Eventually, I'll have to answer a big question - do I want to give up being male forever?  (I'd keep my male identity to be with the right romantic partner - having someone who loves me is more important than being Marian 24x7.  But if she isn't in my life, there is little reason for me not to press forward on this path.)

 

I really didn't need to do a "half and half day" today

Today's entry will be a short one.  There were only two things on my docket and I don't have too much to say about either one of them.

- - - - - -

The first thing I had to take care of today was to get my fingerprints taken for Census Bureau employment.  Since the paperwork said that my photo might be taken, I decided to go to New Rochelle in my female presentation.  It took me a while to find the room where fingerprinting was being done and found out that the photo wasn't being taken at the moment.  So I chatted with the fellow for a few minutes, and then drove home in the rain.

When I got home, I relaxed for a little while, then changed into a masculine presentation. Around 3 pm, I walked to our co-op's "board room" and attended the business half of the meeting.  When we were done there, we adjourned to a nearby restaurant for our end-of-year dinner meeting.  This was a very pleasant gathering, and likely the last board meeting I can guarantee that I'll be there for.

Around 9 pm, I returned home to find an email from the Census Bureau in my mail box.  They forwarded me the forms I'd need to fill out before I can be onboarded.  It looks more and more likely that I'll be employed soon, working as Marian.  I can't wait!  (I only wonder what GFJ will say when I tell her the news.)

Ambivalence is the order of the day

Lately, I've been caught in a web of ambivalent feelings.  Now that options are being made available to me, I have mixed feelings about my choices.  This may be a good thing, as 5.5 years of semi-retirement have taught me the value of having time to myself.

- - - - - -

Today started with a couple of calls, one of them being spam.  The other was a reminder that my iPad was ready to be picked up from the fixit shop, and that I should get there today. But I was tired from the night before, as I first went to sleep without my CPAP mask on, and then stayed awake until 5-6 am or so.  There was no way I'd be up and out the door around 10, so I let myself wake up when my body wanted to do so.

Around 1 pm, I moseyed over to the fix-it shop and picked up my iPad.  Then, it was over to the library to pick up some books that were being held for me. Unfortunately, only 2 of the 3 books were available.  But that should give me a head start in catching up on things, as 1 of the books looks like it'll be a heavy read.

- - - - - -

The other day, when I got the first call from the census bureau, I wasn't sure if I wanted the position.  My reason was simple - unless the money was too good to refuse, I didn't want to work as Mario again.  Instead, I wanted (and still want) to work as Marian.  But with the current anti-TG political regime in Washington, I wasn't sure about taking on the Office Operations Supervisor position. Did I want to go to work as Mario to earn a few extra dollars, or did I want to spend as much time as possible as Marian?

During the past week, I surveyed several people I knew from the TG community about whether I should: (1) Go to work as Mario for the duration of the job, (2) First go to work as Mario, and transition to Marian on the job, or (3) Start off going into work as Marian, even if it meant not getting the position in the first place.  Given that I knew of at least one cisgender male who goes to work in female garb, I figured that I needed to find out whether I could do so before starting the pre-employment process.
 
When I got home from today's errands, I returned yesterday's call asking whether I received paperwork. While on the phone, I took the opportunity to ask whether there would be any problems with me being gender non-conforming.  And I was told that this would not be a problem.  YAY!  Now, I am much more comfortable with the idea of taking on this position, as I can go in to work in female mode every day.