The storm took its time in coming

 

Do I talk about the transgender part of my life?  Or, do I talk about things we all share?  That is a hard question to answer.  In normal years, I might discuss my struggles to present an authentic feminine image while dealing with things much easier for me to deal with in male mode.  Today is another day that I was lazy and went outside in male mode because it was the easiest thing to do.

Last night when I parked my car, I realized that I forgot to do two things.  First, I parked the car in a way that would require me to back out of my parking spot.  This would not be a good thing to do when trying to navigate out of my spot after the last of the snow has fallen.  Second, I didn't leave my windshield wipers in an "up" position, so that they would not get frozen in place if wet, freezing snow were to fall.  So I had an excuse to get out of bed, get a breakfast sandwich, and do some last minute shopping at the supermarket down the hill from me.

Once back at home, I ended up watching TV and doing a bit of reading.  Nothing special.  But I ended up thinking how different this year is, and how alone I feel.  Yes, I am chatting with prospective women for dating.  Yes, I see FH on a weekly basis.  But, I do not really feel that comfortable with anyone yet, and the pandemic does get in the way of meeting people. Even though I'm exchanging emails with my most recent ex, I know things are far from the way they were a year and a half ago.  If I could turn back the clock and fix things before they got broken, I'd gladly do so.  But, I have not developed a time machine to allow me to go backwards and correct things.  So I must move forward in my life.

Tomorrow, I expect to be shoveling 12"-18" of snow from my car.  Hopefully, it will not be a "wet" snow. Once I've done this, I will go for a ride to see what the roads look like.  If possible, I will get a chance to take some pictures that are worth enlarging, printing, and framing.  If not, I'll go back and read a book or two before one of my regularly scheduled Zoom meetups.