I thought an apartment was empty...

 

You'll notice how empty this parking lot seems to be.  Over the years, it has gone from being overcrowded to having enough room for visitors to find parking at any time of night.  There is an ebb and flow to life in a co-op complex, and I've seen it all - or, so I've thought....

- - - - - -

When I moved into my apartment, there was a mother and daughter living in a 2br apartment in the next doorway over from me. They were a nice family unit when I met them, and in general conversation, I found out that the daughter had health issues that kept her at home. However, things changed for the worse over the years....

Shortly after I married my wife, we applied for and got a "double spot" assigned to us.  We'd arrange our cars so that she blocked my exit from my spot each night.  This would enable her to get out in the morning and go to work without disturbing me.  The mother/daughter combination had two identical cars parked in their spots, and rarely moved them.  Even in heavy snowfalls, they would not move their cars.  This was the first sign that something was wrong.

Over the years, there were many signs that bothered me (and others).  For example, both mother and daughter would call me because they were lonely.  In one case, the mother left a 10 minute message on my answering machine saying that she had a question to ask of me.  My machine ran out of tape with her meandering  before she could ask me the question she claimed she wanted to ask.   Another time, their new car (1 new car replaced their 2 old cars) was parked with a rear window open, and it was left that way for several weeks.  Later on, the car was left in a parking spot where a storm caused a tree to fall over the car - and they did nothing.  Eventually, the car had to be towed away, as they were no longer able to drive it.  But this is not all.  Several times, the fire department had to pay a visit to their apartment because of several fire hazards detectable from the outside.  One of these times had cooking gas escaping their apartment because the pilot light went out and they couldn't smell the gas.  Another one of these times had their air conditioner overheating due to an electrical fault, and almost causing a fire in my building.  The last time I saw the mother, she seemed to be in the middle stages of dementia, and unable to take care of herself.  Yet, adult protective services could do very little, as the mother was still barely competent enough to be allowed to live on her own.  (At this time, I felt that she needed to be in assisted living, but no one would put her there.) 

Recently, I found out that the mother had died and that the daughter is still living in the apartment.  I was very surprised, as there are never any lights on in either of the two bedrooms, and that there are no shades or blinds on these windows.  My neighbor L told me that "meals on wheels" is delivering food to the daughter, and that she is nuking the food in the one appliance she is capable of using - a microwave. Luckily for L, she is too busy with work to get sucked into the daughter's problems.....

As for me, I wish the daughter was in assisted living as well.  This would mean that the apartment would be sold and that the co-op could receive a "flip tax" on its sale....

 

My chewing gum lost its flavor on the bedpost overnight....

 

Believe it or not, there is a wall in Seattle which is covered with chewing gum.  Yecch!  But this wall has become one of the scenic attractions of the city.  Although the original gum is being steam cleaned from the wall, visitors will be able to apply new gum to the wall after it is cleaned.

I am envious of people who have a lot of friends who will call them up to do things.  I was never that lucky.  Even now, the consequences of being a loner all of these years has caught up with me in the age of the pandemic.  I made up for being alone by trying to attend social events open to the public, and hen traveling to places where I'd be forced to socialize a little.  Now that the pandemic has cut off those social venues, the loneliness of my life has returned.

Strangely enough, being Marian opened me up to new people and experiences.  The dispute with my ex had repercussions which may have resulted in me no longer having access to certain social venues I depended on before the pandemic hit.  Although we will always look at our dispute differently, there is much more to what happened than either of us need to discuss anymore. And belaboring the points will only hurt the two of us if we continue down that road.

There is a big part of me that misses my daily calls to two people no longer in my life.  Since I doubt that they will ever be back in my life as regular confidants, I have to make do in my own way.  But it is not as good as it was a couple of years ago.  Hopefully, things will change for the better as the pandemic recedes into history. Until then, I will try to make do and take one day at a time.

The storm took its time in coming

 

Do I talk about the transgender part of my life?  Or, do I talk about things we all share?  That is a hard question to answer.  In normal years, I might discuss my struggles to present an authentic feminine image while dealing with things much easier for me to deal with in male mode.  Today is another day that I was lazy and went outside in male mode because it was the easiest thing to do.

Last night when I parked my car, I realized that I forgot to do two things.  First, I parked the car in a way that would require me to back out of my parking spot.  This would not be a good thing to do when trying to navigate out of my spot after the last of the snow has fallen.  Second, I didn't leave my windshield wipers in an "up" position, so that they would not get frozen in place if wet, freezing snow were to fall.  So I had an excuse to get out of bed, get a breakfast sandwich, and do some last minute shopping at the supermarket down the hill from me.

Once back at home, I ended up watching TV and doing a bit of reading.  Nothing special.  But I ended up thinking how different this year is, and how alone I feel.  Yes, I am chatting with prospective women for dating.  Yes, I see FH on a weekly basis.  But, I do not really feel that comfortable with anyone yet, and the pandemic does get in the way of meeting people. Even though I'm exchanging emails with my most recent ex, I know things are far from the way they were a year and a half ago.  If I could turn back the clock and fix things before they got broken, I'd gladly do so.  But, I have not developed a time machine to allow me to go backwards and correct things.  So I must move forward in my life.

Tomorrow, I expect to be shoveling 12"-18" of snow from my car.  Hopefully, it will not be a "wet" snow. Once I've done this, I will go for a ride to see what the roads look like.  If possible, I will get a chance to take some pictures that are worth enlarging, printing, and framing.  If not, I'll go back and read a book or two before one of my regularly scheduled Zoom meetups.