There is a reason I chose this picture to lead off an entry in this blog. Only the person who I hope reads this will understand why it is here....
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Recently, I received a communication from someone who will remain nameless and faceless - as desired by that person. It was a picture that was sent in response to this post ("An acquaintance has cancer"), saying it was a favor. The friend I was with when I received this picture interpreted this communication as something other than a favor, confirming my read on things. (I could have been totally wrong on intent. So I hope this person understands why I felt this way.) Without going into any more details than this, I hope this person and her friend had a great time at their gathering.
Unfortunately, my actions in the past hurt this person very much, and all I can do anymore is to say "I'm Sorry". Sadly, I feel that it will never be enough for her. This is a place where I burnt a bridge without meaning to, and nothing I can do or say can help alleviate this person's pain. There are only so many "Mea Culpas" one can say before one stops caring to say "I'm Sorry" to someone who has been wronged. One can only wear a Hair Shirt for just so long....
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In regard to another person who will also go nameless and faceless, I got to thinking that this person hurt me without meaning to. An action noted in a statement of hers in a recent conversation echoed an action that could have originally been her way of trying to get my attention, and it backfired big time. Again, with things playing out the way they did, I'm not sure if anything much can be done to bridge more of the gap between us. It'd take much more work from both of us to do that, and I haven't yet seen or heard what's needed from her if she wants to take the next step towards a solid friendship. (Yet, I can hope this happens.)
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In both cases, there was cause for a person to feel betrayed. And in both cases, things blew up and got out of control. In the recent case, I only saw this picture with negative intent. It might have been better had it not been sent, as the messages exchanged afterwards brought up ill feelings for both of us. Yet, when I think about it, this was a case of two people who didn't trust each other, both finding out that after a negative incident that relearning how to trust a person and their motives can and will take some time. It's never easy to cut a person some slack after a lot of hurt feelings.
PS: I hope that both people referenced here won't get too upset at my mention of this picture and the associated text messages....
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