My original plan for this Sunday was to get up and get out of the house by noon, so that we could visit one or two car dealerships (Mazda & Subaru) to close out the weekend. Well, that didn't happen, because we decided to stay indoors and not brave the cold.
However, I found that I might need to buy a new refrigerator soon, and I must start preparing for that day. It's amazing how much food I have stored in the freezer, and how much I'll have to either store at a friend's place (or eat) before the ice box dies. Luckily, I can afford to replace the refrigerator right now. But I'm hoping that I can empty the old ice box before it dies.
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As I write this, I am watching "The Doors" on Amazon. It's a good film, but it makes me feel sad. No one would do an intervention for him, and he was a walking time bomb ready to destroy himself at any moment. It seems like great musicians die of car crashes, plane crashes, drug overdoses, or gunshot wounds. An unnatural death for a musician, as I like to put it, is to die in one's sleep at a very old age. But why is this so? I think greatness in the arts is often counterbalanced with a sickness in the soul that comes out in unhealthy behaviors.
I look at myself in my former career. My greatest achievements took place when I was fighting off my worst demons. When I started to get my act together and heal my soul, I got less interested in what I was doing. By the end of that career, I was just going through the motions - I'd been there and done that.
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I consider myself lucky. Although I have lost most of my passion, I have peace of mind. And this allows me to have a healthy relationship with RQS. I am very thankful for that. And I am also very thankful that she accepts me for who and what I am, as most women would be scared of being in a relationship with a transgender person.
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