Yesterday, I outed myself as a part of getting a new BJ's card. As a Transgender person, I have a sense of freedom being able to control how I out myself to others. In the past, I tried to hide the fact that I am transgender. Now, I use caution in outing myself. Yet, I am often taken for a cisgender female in many interactions. This is a good feeling.
The other day, I went to a fast food joint and used the drive up window. Using the best female voice I could muster, I ordered my food - and was taken for a female without anyone seeing me. My voice is getting better, but it is far from perfect. And this woman's unseen acknowledgement of my femininity made me feel good.
One of the nice things about being out in the world as much as I've been as a TG woman, the more I'm taken simply as a cisgender female. Although I have no interest in the male of our species, it would be nice if some male found me attractive as a female. (Mind you, with this would come risk - men often have a hard time taking NO for an answer - and even worse.) The more that I'm seen as a female (without qualification) the freer I will feel.
All of this makes me want to participate in more women's groups. Sadly, my past experiences on exploring being out as a female has closed many of these doors to me in my area of suburbia. I figure that RQS and I may need to find a neighborhood that suits both of our needs, so that I can build a better social network with people who need not have any clues that I was once someone other than the Marian they are seeing.
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