Today is RQS's birthday. We celebrated it last weekend, as I wasn't going to be at her place during the week. But she will be getting her birthday card when I see her next weekend.
Why do I mention this? Well, our conversation covered the usual topics, as well as the death of some people one step away from me. For example, the mother of an ex-girlfriend died last week. An acquaintance from college died at the same time. And now, my boss's wife died today. This explains why he's been out of the office so much as of late.
I remember how it was for me when I lost my wife. And I feel sorry for my boss, as he will soon be going through the same type of grief experience I did 26 years ago. Although I don't know much about the man, I know that he must have cared for his wife as much as I did mine.
Sadly, death is an important part of life. It gives us an impetus to get things done if we are smart. We realize that life won't last forever, so smart people don't waste any time in achieving their goals. Not so smart people waste much of their time, and accomplish very little. And yet, that's not a bad thing. If everyone had what it took to accomplish great things, we'd all be in conflict with each other and nothing would get done.
Would I have liked to have lived a different life, knowing what I do now? Yes! Many of the major things would still be the same in a revised life, save that I would have gotten therapy much earlier, put more energy into getting an education, and invested my money better. Yet, as the adage goes: We have two lives. The first is where one makes the big mistakes. And the second is where one uses what one has learned in the first life to make the second life precious.
As for me, I'm enjoying that second life. Coming out as a Transgender person has allowed me to be the person I want to be - even if I can't be that person full time. A little bit of something good is much better than having nothing. And I have a lot of something good these days....
