Dinner with Vicki

 

It's always nice to get together with Vicki.  Tonight, it was sushi dinner at a new joint in Croton.  Although this place has been around for a few years, we never made it there for dinner.  We finally did, and enjoyed the experience.

But first....

When I got up today, I was in a rush and forgot a few things. This was a harbinger of little things to come. Arriving at the office, I found that I didn't take my morning medications.  So I figured that I'll avoid trying to play catch up, and take my evening pills when I got home.  I then noticed that I had lost an extendable back scratcher, so I used one that wasn't as effective - and left it at the office.  Since I had no more lunches available to me, I planned to buy 2 more lunches to finish out the week on my way home - that wouldn't happen either.  But I get ahead of myself.

I was surprised that I wasn't as sleepy as usual today, and was wide awake when I left the office.  Since I had errands to run, I drove to the auto parts store for a cabin air filter.  From there, it was off to Walmart to pick up some coin wrappers. Unfortunately, I didn't have the time to stop off at home to drop off my goods, so I didn't bother going to Shoprite as planned.  Instead, I met Vicki at the Sushi parlor.

Vicki and I had a belated birthday celebration, ordering way too much food.  Yet, we did a good job at finishing what was in front of us, and figured that we'd be going there again soon. Both of us liked the dresses each of us were wearing, and I felt good about my choice of what I wore today.  Once done with our "nutritious dishes of little raw fishes", it was off the the Blue Pig for dessert.

All too soon, it was time to leave - and we went our separate ways.  I will miss her when she retires and leaves the NYC area....

Closing out a weekend

It's amazing how comfortable RQS and I have become dealing with the minor headaches of everyday life. But more on this in a minute....

On Friday, I picked RQS up at the station, and we enjoyed dinner at a local "go-to" restaurant that Vicki and I enjoy when we are in the mood for sushi.  It's nice to know that she is accepting of me as Marian, but wants to make sure that she doesn't slip up when I'm in one presentation, but needs to talk about something that happened in the other presentation.  It takes time to keep things straight, and I told her that some of my closets friends still make that mistake now and then.

After we got home, I changed into Mario mode for the rest of the weekend.  Saturday would be spent at her friend's birthday party, and Sunday would be spent at Mavis getting new tires installed on my car.  We knew it would be busy from the minute she arrived, but we had a lot of fun in between the little things that needed to be addressed.

I'm hoping that we can travel together, both with me as Mario and as Marian.  Of course, I joked that if we visited Provincetown, MA, it would be appropriate if I went as Marian, as that town is comfortable with same sex couples showing public displays of affection....   Who knows?

Birth and death

 

Today is RQS's birthday.  We celebrated it last weekend, as I wasn't going to be at her place during the week.  But she will be getting her birthday card when I see her next weekend.

Why do I mention this?  Well, our conversation covered the usual topics, as well as the death of some people one step away from me.  For example, the mother of an ex-girlfriend died last week.  An acquaintance from college died at the same time.  And now, my boss's wife died today.  This explains why he's been out of the office so much as of late.

I remember how it was for me when I lost my wife. And I feel sorry for my boss, as he will soon be going through the same type of grief experience I did 26 years ago.  Although I don't know much about the man, I know that he must have cared for his wife as much as I did mine.  

Sadly, death is an important part of life.  It gives us an impetus to get things done if we are smart.  We realize that life won't last forever, so smart people don't waste any time in achieving their goals.  Not so smart people waste much of their time, and accomplish very little.  And yet, that's not a bad thing. If everyone had what it took to accomplish great things, we'd all be in conflict with each other and nothing would get done.  

Would I have liked to have lived a different life, knowing what I do now?  Yes!  Many of the major things would still be the same in a revised life, save that I would have gotten therapy much earlier, put more energy into getting an education, and invested my money better.  Yet, as the adage goes: We have two lives. The first is where one makes the big mistakes.  And the second is where one uses what one has learned in the first life to make the second life precious.

As for me, I'm enjoying that second life.  Coming out as a Transgender person has allowed me to be the person I want to be - even if I can't be that person full time.  A little bit of something good is much better than having nothing.  And I have a lot of something good these days....

Happy Birthday Someone!

 

I accidentally deleted my original entry for the day.  However, I found this birthday card, and picked it up because it reflected my sense of humor.

In many ways, birthdays don't mean that much to me. The reason they don't is that I rarely had someone to celebrate them with.  As a youth, I didn't have many friends.  In middle age, my wife had passed away, and there was no stable relationship with a person who cared to mark this day with me.  And now, its only meaning is to note how much closer I am to death.

Recently, I booked a cruise, and looked at the travel insurance price charts. Each year I get older, I have to pay more for the insurance I need for the cruise.  Then, I thought about turning 65, and having to enroll in Medicare.  So many things start to kick in as one gets older.  Social Security Full Retirement Age (FRA) Distribution starts for me at 66 1/2, and I have to start taking Required Minimum Distributions (RMDs) by the time I turn 72.  Each year denotes something, and not all of them are pleasant.

- - - - - -

There is a person whom I'd wish a Happy Birthday to, that I am no longer in contact anymore.  (She has said things about me that I won't repeat here - her anger regarding a screw up of mine hasn't dissipated in over 2 years.)  Hopefully, she'll see this and enjoy the sentiment of the card above.  

At least, I found this card funny....

As they say - Getting old is better than the alternative....

Sometimes, I'm stuck in the "wrong" presentation

Last night, my brother returned from England, and didn't text me to let me know he got in. He and his two adult children were doing a little sightseeing while visiting my niece's future in-laws.  I'm jealous of them.  But I'll eventually have the chance to visit my niece and her future husband in their new home.  So I have something to look forward to.  Until then, I'm just an afterthought for my brother and his family.  But more on that later....


Today is my dad's birthday.  That means I will need to be in my male presentation when I go to Long Island.  Because of this scheduling requirement, I was sure to schedule my annual physical for the same day, so that I wouldn't need to change from Marian to Mario. And this meant that I had to be ready to start my day early, then not know exactly when I'd be expected to be at my brother's place.

- - - - - -

The first thing I had to do was to go to the doctor.  And I arrived at his office at the same time as the doctor.  Since this was my yearly physical, he had a few more questions to ask of me, and suggested that I get my eyes checked and to schedule a colonoscopy.  Even though it is less than an hour after I left the office as I write this, I already forgot what I should be asking for with my eyes.  (I can ask the doc about that again when I see him in a month.)  But I'll have to see if the doc who performed my last colonoscopy is covered under my insurance and whether his assistant staff is also covered.  Otherwise, I will need to ask my internist for other recommendations of people who may be on my insurance plan.

When I got out of the doc's office, I got a call back after picking up breakfast - they forgot to ask for a urine sample.  So back to the office I went for 5 minutes, and then onto the house to rest.  Looking at the phone, my brother finally acknowledged my messages, telling me that he is back from England.  Unfortunately, he hadn't yet figured out what he plans to with my dad for his birthday.  So it meant that I would have to be ready for anything.  And I found out that my brother was going in to work today, then do something tomorrow.  As for me, I decided to drive to Long Island to see my dad in the daytime.

- - - - - -

It took me over 2 hours to reach my dad.  Traffic was much worse than usual, and I hit all the traffic jams that I could have expected and more.  But I made it there a little bit before my brother, and by 6 pm, we were on our way to the Japanese buffet to enjoy dinner.  Luckily, my sister in law did not join us, as she had a "meeting" to go to tonight. So the 4 of us felt free to each have a beer and to relax over a leisurely dinner.

Towards the end of the evening, my brother started showing photos of the family trip to England, and I started getting bored.  Yet, I didn't want the evening to end.  There are not that many family gatherings left in my dad's life, and I want to be there for as many as possible.

- - - - - -

Around 8:30-9:00 or so, we brought my dad back to the nursing home, and I started my drive back to my apartment. Shortly before I got home, GFJ returned my call and we chatted for a few minutes.  It appears that she will also be busy during the holiday season, so this will be the second straight holiday with us not being together.  Although I will make New Year's Eve open for her if she wants to be together, I have plans in mind if she were to make it a third holiday of being apart.  At that point, unless I am misinterpreting things, she will have sent a signal without saying anything definite....   Such is life.