Earlier this year, I found out that FCP had a grandchild and that her son had graduated med school. So I sent her congratulations, even though we were still on the outs with each other. Two weeks after the last message, she sent a message to tell me that she was offended that I sent a card to her son and daughter in law to offer my congratulations. (She tried calling me, but I wouldn't have picked up if I knew it were her - I don't react well to someone screaming.) I wasn't going to say this to her, but I knew that her son holds no grudge against me, and probably was glad to receive my card.
After several failed phone calls, FCP sent a text message and we had a series of message exchanges. I found out that my ex girlfriend was much more unhappy in our relationship than she let on to me (the ex told me that she hinted a lot and expected me to pick up on her obtuse hints), and complained to FCP. (I'd give a cookie to know who contacted who first, but that's another story.) Given the way things were phrased in the exchange, I think that FCP wanted to make sure that my relationship with the ex was going to die, so that she could get even with me.
Now, I'm not going to go into details here, but I think I was set up by FCP without even sensing it. It's just as well that things are over with both people, as there's nothing that would have come from the relationship with the ex, as we never talked about having a future together after 5 years of a relationship. Being transgender was only one of the things that the ex couldn't deal with, and I'll leave it at that. All I can say is that I wasted 5 years with the ex when I could have been searching for someone who could accept me fully as I am - in both gender presentations. This is not a knock on my ex as much as it is a knock on two people who couldn't shit or get off the pot for as long as we did.
Do I know what the objective truth is regarding what happened all these months ago? No. But I'm closer to being able to say that the ex was unhappy, was unable to advocate for her needs with me, and was destined to leave a lot later than she should have. Regarding FCP, I should have never had made public things which I did. And both of us have grown because we no longer lean on each other for support....
PS: I had another message from FCP, and she was upset upon reading this. She didn't like my accusing her of being in the middle of things and causing trouble, so she is blocking communications from me. Sadly, she can't accept that others can come up with different conclusions based on the information available to them. And, when neither person trusts each other anymore, it is very easy to assume the worst from the other.
