Today was the only day this week that I was in my male presentation. As long as I see FH, I feel she needs Mario in her life, and not Marian. And today gave me proof that FH is not the right person for me.
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The day started by me waking up early in the morning. Since I didn't want to ruin my rest, I took care of necessities and went back to bed for a couple of hours. Then, it was time to do a load of laundry, so that I could have some clothes for the coming week. Since the clothes were in the laundry for the next hour, I ran to the post office to send a card to my niece in England. While there, I saw the above box - perfect to send a backscratcher to my friend, Stephanie, in the Dallas, TX area.
The running comment in our Zoom meetings is that Stephanie is always using some kind of tool to scratch her back, and never getting it just right. So I said that I'd send her a backscratcher one day. Today looked like it was going to be that day, now that I found the box at the post office. About 90 minutes later, my clothes were in the laundry basket, the backscratcher in the box, and I was headed out the door to FH's place. After 5 minutes at the post office, I was on my way to Forest Hills to pick her up for a late lunch/early dinner.
FH is always a little picky about the clock. If I'm running late, she'll text me to find out where I am - even though I shouldn't be texting while driving. Luckily, I have found places where I could text her back safely without causing an accident. But I'll need to tell her to call me instead, as I shouldn't have to look for a place to pull over to text her safely. After I got to her place, we made a trip to the local stationery store, so that she could get some needed supplies for her visit to her office the next morning. (She works a Sunday-Thursday schedule.) Then it was off to a nearby outdoor mall to do some shopping and to eat afterward.
This is where I found out that we don't communicate well enough to be more than just friends. The GPS took us to the site of the mall, but didn't give us an idea of where the restaurant was inside the mall. So I made a couple of misjudgements regarding where to park, and she was only making things worse with her comments. Instead of noticing I was a little frustrated and needing the mental horsepower to figure things out in a place where I was unfamiliar, she kept commenting on not knowing where the restaurant was, and how far she might have to walk to get where she wanted to be. I ended up raising my voice a little, but not shouting out of control, asking her to be quiet for a second, so I can keep my perspective on things - something she didn't know how to do. Eventually, I figured out what I needed to figure out, and got us to a centrally located parking lot in this complex.
After doing a little shopping, FH and I went to the restaurant and were told that we'd have to wait an hour for a table. This was not good enough for either of us, so we left - and then left the mall to eat elsewhere. (FH was a little annoyed at the fellow who told us we'd have to wait an hour, vs. telling the next group that it was a 45-60 minute wait. Big Deal. Maybe he's dealt with this group before and coddles them a little. But the difference in messaging and her reaction to that told me a lot about FH. And then, when the fellow said that there is no in-restaurant waiting area, she ignored that until he mentioned it again.) Eventually, we made it to a Middle Eastern joint in Ridgewood for dinner. Then, it was back to her place to drop her off. (This was not one of our best days.)
Where the Ex complained too little, FH complains a little too much. I'm still looking for a happy median. Hopefully, I'll find one soon. Life is too short not to have someone special to care for.
PS: I had to chuckle after scanning the selections on one dating website. Someone who blocked me from a meetup group (not talking of the ex) is dating and her profile showed on my feed. I certainly would never consider someone like her for many reasons....
