Lunch with a friend was the high point of the day

 

I had three things on the docket today, and I blew one off because it looked like we'd have heavy rain in the evening. Luckily, the most important thing, lunch with my friend from the census was on, and we had a great time.

- - - - - -

Although I had my alarms set for 10 am, I didn't get moving until 11 am.  This meant that I only had an hour to get ready for lunch. Since this was going to be a day out as Marian, I made sure to shave all over before getting dressed and made up to go out for lunch.  I may have stood out a little by wearing a sweater dress instead of jeans, but I prefer the feel of a dress over that of trouser like garments.

Arriving at 12:30 pm, I was at the restaurant first for a change.  My friend arrived a couple of minutes later, and I proceeded to chat about my car purchase saga.  Then, I had fun telling her about the man from another meetup group who wanted to help this old lady. She had her own stories to tell as well, such as her upcoming trip out west.  Hopefully, the family will have a great time on this birthday trip.

All too soon, we had to leave.  And my next stop for the day was Trader Joe's, where I hoped to pick up a small tote bag for RQS.  Unfortunately, I could only find the bag in the next size up.  So, I guess that's a keeper for me, and that I'll keep looking for one for her.  Luckily, a visit to TJ's rarely makes a big dent in my wallet.  So I didn't mind going out of the way on a rainy day.

Eventually, I got home.  But I wasn't in the mood to go out.  So I posted a quick message in the meetup forum, and then focused on attending an Arts Westchester Zoom meeting.  I figure that I'll ramp up activities with this organization, as it will give me things to do when I'm up in Westchester....

The board meeting got off to a buggy start

 

Today was dedicated to work for the Co-Op.  Nothing was too strenuous.  But it meant that I had to go out in the world as Mario instead of Marian.

- - - - - -

One of the things I am responsible for doing is to take care of some financial transactions as directed by our board's president.  Today, I had to run down to the bank and have a check cut.  Now that I am used to doing this, I still find that I'd rather not be one of the two people who can sign paperwork for the co-op.  I was in and out of the bank in 5 minutes, and drove into town to get a bite to eat.

Once I finished with the bank, I dropped the check off to its recipient and proceeded to take care of a couple of tasks before returning home for the board meeting.  And that's where the glitch occurred.  Although I had sent a zoom link update, one board member didn't get it.  So I had to resend the link while the meeting was going on. Then the meeting proceeded normally.

When we had our old site manager, he wasted a lot of time fighting us all the way.  A meeting that we once completed in 2-2½ hours started stretching to 3½ hours, the extra time being wasted by the old site manager, as he fought us at every chance.  Now that we have this youngster, we completed our business in 2 hours.  What a relief!

I could go on and on about things.  But even I found most of the day to be a bore....

The high point of my day was at lunch

 

It's hard to believe that it has been 4 years since I've worked at the census, and 4 years since I felt comfortable with being 'out' as a transgender person.  Today, I met with one of my friends from the census and had a nice lunch.

My friend (let's call her CSC) and I have been trying to meet on a monthly basis since our work on the census ended.  And we've been able to keep up to date on happenings in our lives since then.  She's shared information on family events, her travels, and on things in general - and I've done the same.  The one thing I'll share about our conversation is how her dietary restrictions have affected her when dining out....

CSC comes from a Jewish family.  As a result, she lived in a kosher household and has never eaten pork or shellfish.  That is not an issue for her.  She is allergic to peanuts, peas, and bananas.  She is also a vegetarian who once ate meat in the past.  So, she finds herself having to talk about dietary issues every time she goes out to eat.  Even when she does so, things can go a little wrong as it did today; A pea was found in the yellow rice served to her, and she had to send it back for some white rice.  (A minor issue, Yes.  But she could have suffered a severe allergic reaction.)  She told me about visits to restaurants which had no vegetarian options on the menu, where the chef concocted some very tasty dishes just for her.  And she told me about restaurants that said they couldn't accommodate her - then they did.  Nowadays,  it's much easier for her, as most restaurants are willing to have both vegan and gluten free foods on the menu, as well as knowing how to keep "special requirements" food prepared separately from "regular" food.

All too soon, it was time to go.  So we made plans for the following month and went on our way.

- - - - - -

Once home, I had to switch back to Mario mode.  I had a handyman coming over to see about replacing the exhaust fan/ceiling light in the bathroom.  This will be a slightly more expensive project than I planned, as he suggested that he repaint the ceiling after he finishes installing the fixture.  (The ceiling paint has started to flake off in one area, and I've deferred doing this work.)  So, I handed him a deposit, and he will buy all the supplies needed for the job - and he will get back to me to schedule the work.

- - - - - -

Now that my 15 minutes as Mario was over with, it was time to switch back into Marian mode for a zoom call with my friends from Texas and RQS.  I'll bet that they noticed that I was exhausted, but I was able to stay awake during our meeting.  (Again, I didn't get enough good sleep the night before.)  Hopefully, we will all be able to get together again in 2025.  But that's another story.  Shortly afterwards was my nightly call with RQS to end my day.

As cold as a witch's....

 

Today ended up being a stay-at-home day, as SJM had to postpone our lunch until next week.  That was OK with me, as I really didn't want to get dressed, go out in the cold to clean the snow off my car, then drive to lunch.  I was nice and happy in my warm apartment, and didn't want to change things or make any effort to do so.

- - - - - -

I figure that I have to fight off the lethargy that has taken over my life as of late.  And I plan to get out of the house tomorrow, if only to go to another meetup and get out in the world with people.  But that doesn't say much about today, does it?  For the most part, I did almost nothing of note other than watching videos and resting.  Could it be that I have a hibernation instinct?  I doubt it.  

Eventually, I had to take out the garbage.  So I got dressed enough to make it to the dumpster, brush the snow off the car, and get my mail from the mailbox before returning to my apartment.  While outside, I noticed how cold it was, and noted that it will be 10 degrees colder this coming weekend when I'm with RQS.  Given that it might snow again, I may just leave my car in a visitor's space while I use mass transit to visit RQS at her place.

Once done with the outside world for the night, it was on to a Zoom meeting with my friends from Texas.  We presented the option of getting together in the fall, but it looks like we'll have a better chance of getting together in 2025 when it is warm and dry.  (Or, at least, I hope so.) My one requirement is that if we meet somewhere, the place we meet must be LGBT friendly - especially to people of a non-conforming gender presentation. Although we talked of many things, I won't go into all of what we chatted about.  In short, it was nice to chat with these friends again....

Bored, not Board

 

For the most part, I wasn't in the mood to do much of anything today.  Although I got up at a reasonable time, it took a while before I got moving.  And when I did, I realized that I had to start packing for my cruise.  So, it was off to unload the laundry basket that has been sitting in my living room, and putting both underwear and socks into compression bags, then into my suitcase.  Yes, I could have done more packing, I figured that it would be best for me to simply develop a checklist, so that I can be sure to include what I'll need for my 7-day cruise.

4 pm came around, and I decided to get Chinese takeout (a big mistake) before the evening's co-op board meeting. I returned home, finished my meal, and then turned on the computer for a 6 pm Zoom meeting.  And this is where today's tedium came in.  We have a new member on the board who chooses to regurgitate what is being said, wasting time in the meeting.  (Sometimes, it's better to listen and not expect to pick up on everything going on in a business meeting.)  It felt that he was playing up to a teacher.  And then, he was trying to rescue a relationship without knowing why things were in trouble in the first place.  (As I said, sometimes it's best to just listen.)  I know that he was triggering some feelings, and I think it's that he wants to preserve a business relationship that we already feel may need to be broken. But enough of that....

While the meeting was going on, I was keeping my mind active by doing other things on my cellphone.  I've always had problems with long business meetings, as they are where minutes are taken and hours are lost.  As a result, I try to keep my mind active doing other things, and half-listen to what is going on when others are speaking. And today was no exception - even though I was the person taking minutes.  At least, I won't have to do this again until next month.

Catching up with friends (Or, at least one of them)

The above is an old picture of me with a meetup group that no longer exists.  Although I made some friends due to being in this group, by the time Covid-19 hit, we had all gone our separate ways.  Yet, the pandemic resulted in me developing new friendships, with whom I was in contact today....

- - - - - -

My first task of the day was to get shaved, showered, made up, and dressed to see my friend SJM formerly of the imaging firm.  Setting a meeting time for 12:30 pm worked out well for both of us, as we both got to the restaurant on time. The two of us had a lot to talk about, and SJM noted that I had just as much chaos going on in my life as she had in hers.  I covered the headaches in regard to my GI Tract, the loss of my backpack and wallet, along with the struggles I had to deal with along the way.  Other than to say that she was very happy to talk about her husband's improving health, I won't say much about what she said to me.

After lunch, I returned hope, and opened up two boxes I received from Amazon.  One contained a replacement backpack and a selfie stick, while the other contained a Bluetooth mouse and some USB-C cables.  Setting up the mouse with the Chromebook was a breeze, and it was worth $10 to both free up the USB-A port on the Chromebook and to never need to worry about having a battery handy to use the mouse.

- - - - - -

Evening was coming and I had a Zoom meeting scheduled with RQS, STX, and JTX.  (This was the only reason that I didn't take off my makeup or breast forms when I got home earlier.) So, I set an Alexa alarm to alert me to be ready for the Zoom, and proceeded to take a short nap.  Two hours later, I checked my computer and my Texas friends had both bailed out for the night, as they were too tired.  So, I rescheduled things and had a face to face with RQS over Zoom.

Hopefully, we'll get to have a good Zoom in two weeks....

The high point of my day would be an evening Zoom Meeting

 

Yesterday, I did some serious "damage" to the clutter in my living room/dining room areas of my apartment.  Today, it was time to toss out all the garbage, rearrange things, and finding homes for things displaced from their previous storage spaces.  After yesterday, I didn't need any strenuous work, and I made sure not to do any.

So, I did a little bit more decluttering work, putting books in donation boxes, and others into the remaining bookshelves that I have in the apartment.  Yet, for the most part, I wasted time during the day, and I didn't get showered, dressed and out of the house until 6:15 pm.  And it was time to get something to eat before my zoom meeting.

At the diner, I was served by a woman who was the spitting image (and voice) of someone I worked with several years ago.  I knew that she was a doppelganger for my former coworker, as my coworker lived on Staten Island with her husband.  There was no way that she'd leave project management to be a waitress.  But I'd have loved to ask the waitress about her ethnic origins, just so I could ask if she had a doppelganger relative from the Philippines living in the USA.

All too soon, I had to rush home for my zoom meeting.  (The picture above is how I appeared before everyone started signing on to the meeting.)  I can't wait for all of us to meet in Chicago in two and a half months' time.  Four gals on the town in the big city - we won't have enough time to do it all on this trip, so we may have to schedule something for next year soon....

I miss my former boss - a short post

 

Here is the face of a good man who meant a lot to people outside his family.  His life was cut short by a drunken hit-and-run driver,  But you may wonder, why am I making note of him here?

Well, this good man was a voice of calm in a sea of confusion.  When I first met him, the bank I worked for went through a nasty hostile takeover battle, and he was one of the people who had to earn the trust of the new people he supervised.  Over the years he worked for the bank, he did just that and was respected by all that knew him.

What most people didn't see is that he was quietly able to preserve (for a while) the careers of several people who worked for him when the next corporate merger occurred.  He made sure that the people taking over our area knew the value of a handful of key employees (myself included) that were needed to keep the technology infrastructure running.  He could have survived as well, but he didn't want to relocate himself again, this time to a city he hated.

Since that time, we stayed in contact over the years, and we met for lunch on the day that I was laid off from the bank.  (That was a weird coincidence!) We'd get together at the Cheesecake Factory in West Nyack, a place which was equidistant from our houses. And when Covid hit, we'd meet via Zoom.  Who knew that when I tried to set up the next Zoom meeting, I'd find out of his passing?

I was lucky to meet this man's family sitting Shiva.  I only wish I could have met them while he was alive. I told the family about things I knew about him, and they shard things they knew about me and the office. And all too soon, we had to part ways.

As much as I am not much of a believer in the afterlife, I do believe that if there is one, he will be a good place.  At least, I hope so....

Taking it easy....

 

Soon, RQS and I will be seeing this sight as we depart from New York on our Autumn cruise.  The big question I will be asking myself is: How much "Alone Time" will I need in this relationship?  I've found that I get tired of having the same people around me after a few days, and this was likely a factor for me in my breakup with XGFJ - I needed time apart from her more often than I told her.

I opened up with this thought, as I started to wonder how well RQS and I will get along on a 10 day cruise.  We will likely be OK, but I have minor worries about it.

- - - - - -

Today was a good day for me, though most of my plans went sour.  My niece and I were able to connect with each other via Zoom, and we were online for an hour chatting about things in general.  Now that I know that she prefers the use of one communications tool, we can schedule Zoom meetings at will and keep in touch.

My niece is glad that she's in England right now, and loves the early Autumn weather they are having.  Soon, winter will come, and she'll be flying back to the States with her husband.  (This assumes that her passport gets renewed before their trip. She has an expired US passport, and will need it renewed for her return.) I told her of my plans to visit sometime in the next couple of years (in Marian's female gender presentation) and she noted that I shouldn't have any problems with it when I visit.  This is a good thing, as I find it more comfortable for me to dress as Marian instead of Mario.

Although I ran my mouth at a mile a minute, we had a good chat.  Hopefully, we'll be doing it again soon.

- - - - - -

I was supposed to speak with my former student clinician for my speech therapy.  She has delivered her baby, and is up to her eyeballs taking care of her infant. So we haven't had much time to chat in a long while.  The same goes to a lesser extent for KM, a woman I used to work with at the document imaging firm.  Although I was supposed to speak with both women, it was just as well that I didn't - I was in the mood to be alone.  In many ways, I was like Greta Garbo in saying: "I want to be alone." 

As you can guess, being with people was the furthest thing from my mind today....

I'm so tired...

 

This is another quick post....

- - - - - -

To keep my mind from exploding due to boredom, I've actively used an MP3 player to entertain me while I do an almost mindless task.  Today, one Beatles tune comes to mind: "I'm So Tired."  Although this song was written to "document" a different person's exhaustion, it seems to echo what I've been dealing with as of late.

Today, I started work with a bang.  Yet by the time coffee break came, I had no energy and was ready to fall asleep.  I was glad to have no outside events coming up.  But, I had a Zoom meeting with two of my friends from Texas.  And I wish I could have postponed the zoom for another week - something I'm glad I didn't have to do.

By the time my Zoom meeting ended, I was ready to put my head on a pillow and fall asleep - which I did for an hour.  At least, I woke up in time to say goodnight to RQS and remind her of a lobster truck that will be visiting her neighborhood tomorrow.

- - - - - - 

Tomorrow, I will have to remove the nail polish from this Sunday's Mani-Pedi.  I'll have another Zoom with my ex-boss, and then have to run to the pharmacy to pick up my prescriptions.  AARGH.  Next time, I'll be sure to be able to stay in Marian mode for a full week before I get another manicure....

Connecting with friends

 

This is going to be another quick entry.

Over the past couple of nights, I have had 2 zoom meetings.  The first was with my ex-boss, a man who only knows me as Mario.  The other was with a woman who only knows me as Marian.  Normally, I would be energized by both zoom meetings, but I had no energy to really enjoy them.  This means that I couldn't wait to get off the zoom and do something else.

Once I leave my job, I will suggest to my ex-boss that we meet up for a lunch somewhere, as it will be nice to chat in person for a change.  Even though things will be very different from the last time we met in person, it will be a good thing to get back to normal - or, at least how we once thought of it.  Regarding the second person, if I weren't seeing RQS on a regular basis, I'd schedule a Chicago trip to see her for a long weekend.

Keeping in contact these days has become much harder for me than it was in the past. I never had a job that sucked as much energy out of me as this job does. Yet, this lack of energy forces me to make hard decisions regarding who I really want to see.  And maybe, that's the one benefit I'm getting from this exhausting job....

An unplanned co-op board meeting

 

This is not the image of anyone on our co-op board.  All of our members are unhappy about what has gone on as of late.  Yet, like people who love pain, we keep on serving our small community.

Why do I say this?

Although I an "out" to the board, I am not generally out to the co-op as a whole.  I never appear as Marian while representing the co-op at board meetings.  So I generally change into Mario mode before going to co-op functions.  Last night, I had to leave the video off at an unplanned zoom meeting, so that I could strip off my makeup while attending a meeting.

Tomorrow will be worse.  We have a planned meeting to address concerns arising from an unpleasant maintenance rate hike.  One shareholder has forced this meeting, and we must deal with a potential shareholder rebellion.  Luckily, we're using zoom for this meeting - and can cut people off at will.  Finally, a benefit we gained from the Covid-19 pandemic.  But I'd rather have shareholders who are all happy....

Zooming with a friend in Texas

 

There is an indirect link between this character from the movie "Short Circuit" and the friend I was Zooming with today.  But I won't say what that link is....

- - - - - -

As I've said in earlier posts, I used to connect with friends in Texas during the worst of the pandemic. Our Zoom meetings were fun, but they didn't take the place of in-person meetings.  Now that people are getting out and about, there is little need for Zoom, save for people who live across the country from each other.

It's been a while since I've chatted with my friend.  Too bad that we no longer live near each other.  We would have had a lot of fun together.  But Zoom keeps us in contact, and we schedule a meeting every so often to catch up on things.  

- - - - - -

One of these days, I'll have to meet my friend in person again - in a city that the two of us want to visit. We've talked about Chicago, as well as some cities in the West.  Since she's young enough to be my daughter, I can guarantee that nothing would come of this other than a nice friendly get together.  Who knows?  I might just tell her about my transgender nature....

I'll miss my friends in Texas

 

I was supposed to catch up with my friends in Texas, but forgot all about it.  I'll miss both SB and JS, as they helped me get through the worst of the pandemic with their Zoom Meetups.  Sadly, all good things come to an end.  But this time, I know that all of us are in better places now than we were 15 months ago.

Do I want to see them in person?  Yes, but my problem is that I am transgender, and that Texas is not friendly to people of my ilk.  There may be some places I can safely go, as Kim from Traveling Transgender may attest, but Texas is a whole other place.  She has documented many of her travels in the past.  However, she hasn't been doing many flights while pretty these days.  (At the time I write this, her last blog post was over 7 months ago.)  I miss her adventures. 

Maybe I should write her for advice?

I woke up early, and wished I could wake up late

 

Last night, I went to sleep early in an attempt to recharge after a long weekend.  However, my body clock had its own way, and woke me up almost 2 hours earlier than I wanted.  So, again, I was barely awake as I did my job in the morning, and became more awake as the day went on.

As Covid-19 worries recede into the past, people are starting to go in to their offices again.  This means that there is much more traffic on Route 9a heading South, and many more times that traffic will get screwed up by either an accident or a series of ultra slow moving vehicles.  (Garbage trucks and cement mixers come to mind here.)  So, getting out of the house by 7:15 may not be a viable choice anymore, if I want to get to work on time with time enough to get my breakfast sandwich.

Sometimes, I wonder if I should have taken this job in Mario mode.  I feel much better in a feminine presentation these days.  (I'm not uncomfortable as Mario.  I simply prefer to go out in the world as Marian, as I feel freer in a woman's role than in a man's role.)    The extra 30 minutes it takes for me to get ready to go out in the world as Marian is a small price for me to pay.

After work, I chatted with TCL, and then with FH.  However, I never made it to call any of the other women on my list, as I didn't have it in me to chat much.  Yet, I made it to my Tuesday night Zoom meeting with my friends in Texas.  This left me with no time to take care of any of the other items on my to-do list.

Hopefully, tomorrow will be a day that I can catch up on things....

Zoom, Zoom, Zoom

 

It was just one of those days....

I had to take off from work to bring my noisy car to Mavis.  The car had exhaust system problems, and I didn't know bad or costly they'd be.  After an hour at Mavis, I was brought to my car and shown the undercarriage.  The exhaust pipe had failed from the point of connection to the catalytic converter to the muffler itself.  Not only did I need a new pipe, but I needed a new muffler as well.  Ouch!  To make things worse, they couldn't get the parts in today.  So I was told that the parts would be in tomorrow, and that I could bring the car in after work to be taken care of.  There goes the better part of $1,000 that I'd rather spend on something else....

Next, it was off to work for a half day, and home to catch up with my ex boss on a Zoom meeting.  He's a good man, and I'm glad to be able to talk with him now and then.  But for some reason, I feel a little depressed when I talk with him.  I guess it's because we're out of the element (work) that gave both of us a certain purpose.

Following this, I logged onto another Zoom meeting, playing games with friends.  I don't recall if I won any games or not, but I was glad to be able to make it.  In two weeks, we'll likely be shutting down for the summer.  And I'll miss the distraction that helped me kill time and keep from getting bored shitless.

 

Not much to say today

 

 

Today was a dreary day, where I wanted to stay in bed all day.  And for the most part, that's what I did until I had to get up and start taking care of laundry for the week.

- - - - - -

Normally, I try to get my weekly chores done on Sunday, as I reserve Saturday for being with friends. Some of these Saturdays, you'll find Mario going out on a date, hoping to make another love connection with someone who could become special.  Other Saturdays, you'll find me spending time with a friend, just to keep from getting too lonely.

Given that it was wet and foggy outside, I decided to go outside as Mario - only to shop for a few lunches I could eat during the week at work, and to go downstairs to wash a load of colors.  (I can do whites during the week, as I now spend 5-6 days per week as Marian, and don't need them as much.) Soon, I expect that I'll see the new resident in both of my modes.  But I was glad I didn't see her today, as her dad was helping her move in. (He used to work on my car until I got better scheduling of regular maintenance from other shops.)  Sometime later this year, I'll see if she wants to be part of the board, as she suggested that she'd be willing to help out with things.

Towards mid evening, I worked with a fellow board member, and showed her the ropes of using zoom for a meeting.  Now, she has the tools to run a meeting without my assistance - and that's a load off my back.

A quick note: A box is on its way.

Today was the only day this week that I was in my male presentation.  As long as I see FH, I feel she needs Mario in her life, and not Marian.  And today gave me proof that FH is not the right person for me.

- - - - - -

The day started by me waking up early in the morning.  Since I didn't want to ruin my rest, I took care of necessities and went back to bed for a couple of hours.  Then, it was time to do a load of laundry, so that I could have some clothes for the coming week.  Since the clothes were in the laundry for the next hour, I ran to the post office to send a card to my niece in England.  While there, I saw the above box - perfect to send a backscratcher to my friend, Stephanie, in the Dallas, TX area.  

The running comment in our Zoom meetings is that Stephanie is always using some kind of tool to scratch her back, and never getting it just right.  So I said that I'd send her a backscratcher one day.  Today looked like it was going to be that day, now that I found the box at the post office. About 90 minutes later, my clothes were in the laundry basket, the backscratcher in the box, and I was headed out the door to FH's place.  After 5 minutes at the post office, I was on my way to Forest Hills to pick her up for a late lunch/early dinner.

FH is always a little picky about the clock.  If I'm running late, she'll text me to find out where I am - even though I shouldn't be texting while driving.  Luckily, I have found places where I could text her back safely without causing an accident.  But I'll need to tell her to call me instead, as I shouldn't have to look for a place to pull over to text her safely. After I got to her place, we made a trip to the local stationery store, so that she could get some needed supplies for her visit to her office the next morning.  (She works a Sunday-Thursday schedule.) Then it was off to a nearby outdoor mall to do some shopping and to eat afterward.

This is where I found out that we don't communicate well enough to be more than just friends.  The GPS took us to the site of the mall, but didn't give us an idea of where the restaurant was inside the mall.  So I made a couple of misjudgements regarding where to park, and she was only making things worse with her comments. Instead of noticing I was a little frustrated and needing the mental horsepower to figure things out in a place where I was unfamiliar, she kept commenting on not knowing where the restaurant was, and how far she might have to walk to get where she wanted to be.  I ended up raising my voice a little, but not shouting out of control, asking her to be quiet for a second, so I can keep my perspective on things - something she didn't know how to do.  Eventually, I figured out what I needed to figure out, and got us to a centrally located parking lot in this complex.

After doing a little shopping, FH and I went to the restaurant and were told that we'd have to wait an hour for a table.  This was not good enough for either of us, so we left - and then left the mall to eat elsewhere.  (FH was a little annoyed at the fellow who told us we'd have to wait an hour, vs. telling the next group that it was a 45-60 minute wait.  Big Deal.  Maybe he's dealt with this group before and coddles them a little.  But the difference in messaging and her reaction to that told me a lot about FH.  And then, when the fellow said that there is no in-restaurant waiting area, she ignored that until he mentioned it again.)  Eventually, we made it to a Middle Eastern joint in Ridgewood for dinner.  Then, it was back to her place to drop her off.  (This was not one of our best days.)  

Where the Ex complained too little, FH complains a little too much.  I'm still looking for a happy median.  Hopefully, I'll find one soon.  Life is too short not to have someone special to care for.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

PS: I had to chuckle after scanning the selections on one dating website.  Someone who blocked me from a meetup group (not talking of the ex) is dating and her profile showed on my feed. I certainly would never consider someone like her for many reasons....

It was the end of the week, and things are catching up with me.

  

 
Several  weeks ago, Vicki suggested I buy the above top to go with the wide leg trousers I wore to dinner with her.  Today, due to Lane Bryant not having the top in its warehouse, I decided to drive to New Jersey to buy it.  This top and the top below were the results of this shopping trip, a trip that cost me more in gas and tolls than what I may have saved if I could have bought either top online.

With my face, I am far from a 10.  The weight also makes me look fat - because I am.  Yet, I seem to blend in well enough to be accepted by people in the female role.  Of course, the voice training I got at Mercy College helped a lot in making my female presentation workable for everyday use.  (Now, if only I could get rid of my male body fat distribution and develop a set of hips in its place....)

But why do I say that things were catching up with me?  People I didn't expect to get in contact were getting in contact with me, and I didn't have the time to do all the things I needed or wanted to do.  For example, my friend from game night wanted to confirm going on our hike and wanted to bring another friend from game night along.  I wasn't going to miss seeing this other friend as well, so I made sure to say YES to that.  Then, one of the two women I befriended from Mercy contacted me and wanted to schedule getting together.  With two events already on my calendar that took up days I'd normally use to get together, I decided to use a Thursday, now that my Texas friends are meeting in person and not via Zoom.  And I had to consider my get together with FH, along with my weekly chores of buying food for the week, with laundry afterwards.  How do I fit everything in to my schedule, now that things are opening up again?  I haven't had to think this way since the last time I was gainfully employed.

If I were dating someone who were coming to my apartment on a regular basis, I wouldn't have done what I did after work today - go shopping for the above two tops.  I would have been with the woman, as I would have put her needs first.  Since I had nothing better to do, I decided to take a drive to look at the above two tops. It's been ages since I was in Clifton, NJ - almost 40 years ago, when on a gig for a "consulting" firm (read: Rent a Programmer) that has been gobbled up by even larger firms since then.  The firm I was contracted to also has been gobbled up.  So I didn't expect many professional memories to be stirred up while on the drive - and they weren't.  Yet, I didn't expect to see how much the area had changed since I was there last.  All the landmarks I might have remembered were gone, and either large strip malls or apartment complexes were left in their wake.  The Lane Bryant store I went to was in one of those malls.

By the time I left the store, all the rush hour traffic I saw along the way had dissipated. So I decided to take a leisurely ride back home.  Could I have bothered to do laundry?  Yes.  But I was too tired from getting up at 6 am.  Instead, I decided to rest, and fell out with the TV on....

Things are starting to open up again - somewhere.

 

Last night, I found that my friends in Texas were about to have their first in-person meeting in a while.  Sadly, this means that our Zoom Meetups will likely be ending soon.  That saddens me, as I see this happening in New York as well, and I've been blackballed from a group that I would have liked to attend in either of my modes.  Such is life.

Eventually, other venues will open up as well.  I can't dwell on the past, as it is long gone.  There are things that I'd do differently if I had the chance to do a "redo" on 2020.   But that's not realistic.  When I asked a question of the ex, "what would she do differently?", she avoided answering the question.  I can only infer only one thing from her actions of last year: she didn't want to deal with me in either presentation at a meetup group), and didn't care about how she accomplished this.  She could have gotten what she really wanted with less pain had she been willing to communicatet and negotiate, but that' didn't happen.  Her "nastygram" on the morning of my birthday showed her real self -  someone who doesn't worry about the degree of pain she inflicts on others when she's pursuing a goal of her own.  (I know she will think differently from me on this.  Last year's dispute was proof that she wanted me as far away from her group(s) as possible and didn't care how she'd keep me away.)

But enough about the ex.  I've given her way too much headspace lately. There are other, more important things I'm concerned with right now - such as getting vaccinated against Covid-19.  Now that things have opened up even more, I figure that I'll try to score an earlier appointment than what I have now.  I want to be "fully protected" before summer comes.  Of course, I have taxes to file, and it looks like last year's withholding game plan worked - over withhold by 10%, and that should cover progressive taxes on income from sources other than the census.  So I'll do the same for this years income from the new job, and withhold taxes with the assumption that I'll be there until year end.

I still have a big vacation to plan.  However, to take it means that I will likely have to leave my job, or accept unpaid time off.  (I'd accept the latter option if I could get it.)  You'll note that I've made the assumption that I'll remain on this job until then.   But any job I can joke about in the way I do is likely to be too mind numbing to stay there too long.  I need something that occupies my mind, and only so much vacation planning can be done in my head at work.

At least one good thing has happened so far due to the loosening of pandemic restrictions. I have been able to schedule a get together with the new friend I made at the Zoom Meetup the other day.  She only knows me as Marian, and that's how I intend to keep it for now.