Often, great deals are too good to last.

 

Woot.com is one of those sites that offers deals that are too good to last.  But it illustrates why one should be able to spot a good deal when it is available and pounce on it if it fits your needs.

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Over the years, I have learned that really good deals do not last long. For example, near the end of 2021, I found a great deal on a cruise from NYC to the Bahamas and back. It was one of the first cruises to take place after the Covid-19 Suspension, and had a price that could not be beat.  There was no single supplement, and I snagged a mini-suite for $1,400.  How could I beat that?

Now that I am comfortable going out in the world as Marian, I will occasionally buy a "Mystery Box" from Universal Standard.  It is like buying a pig in a poke, as you never know what you're going to get until you get it.  There are some items I am comfortable wearing, and others that I don't have the occasion to wear.  On the whole, I have broken even on my mystery purchases from Universal Standard, and will consider buying more mystery boxes in the future.

Years ago, I was hunting for a dress I could wear to a wedding and found a dress that looked good on me. I found it listed on Roamans.com for $140.  The same dress found be found on Amazon.com for $120.  But, on another onestopcom's site, it sold for $50 as long as you purchased a total of garments whose price totaled $75 or more.  That was a great deal on a dress which I've only had the occasion to wear only once.   

Bargain hunting can be fun, as well as addictive.  Now that I'm retired, it pays for me to search for bargains, but not always jump on them.  Luckily, I have the option to buy (or not buy).  And I'm glad I can enjoy bargain shopping to its fullest.

Someone mentioned an opportunity to me.

 

The other day, I got an email from someone at a place I once volunteered.  She asked me about some work that needed to be done at this place, mentioning that this may be a part-time position in the making.  I was pleasantly surprised about this, as I've needed an excuse to get moving each day and to get out of the house.  Assuming I'm the person who fills this slot, I will go to work as Marian - even though key people will know that I am trans.  It'll be nice to have regular interactions with people again.  If I'm lucky, I'll get the part-time position and put some extra cash in my wallet.

Looking back over the past few years, I've noticed that I have fewer reasons to get up in the morning. than I had 10 years ago.  Yes, I was at the end of a 30 year career with the bank I once worked for.  But I had already checked out due to the lack of opportunities left for me in the New York office.  When I was laid off, it was a blessing to me, as it freed me to explore being out as Marian much more often than I could have been in the past.

Getting through the pandemic with my sanity (or, at least, most of it) intact was a lucky thing.  Having lost both my best friend and a girlfriend, and then my father took a toll on me.  I was lucky to have a short term job at the Census Bureau, and then the document imaging firm the year afterwards.  Yet, towards the end, I was having problems getting up when I had no social commitments for the day. Do I miss that friend and the ex-girlfriend?  A little.  But I miss my father most of all. In many ways, the years of the pandemic sapped much out of me that has yet to return.

I have no problems getting up when RQS is around.  Having someone in my life energizes me, and gives me a reason to get up and moving.  Is this normal for an older person?  Many males tend to die within 3 years of retirement.  So, could my TG identity be a factor in keeping me alive?  Or, is it a good romance?  Who knows?  But I know that the idea of having both a solid romance and a part time job may be factors in keeping me alive for another 2 or 3 decades.

When I have nothing much to do, I window shop online

 

First things first.  I am not a thin woman.  But this linen dress caught my eye in this color and in a hunter green - and I wish I could budget the money to buy it.  I know that if I go to Universal Standard, I'd buy this dress and more.

Since Universal Standard is having a sample sale at this time, I'm thinking of buying the above garment. For me, it will mostly be used as sleepwear.  I could also use it as a slip in cooler weather, as it might help me stay warmer while wearing dresses.

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Shopping as a female is an art.  As I've said before, shopping as a male is very easy.  I don't have to think much, once I have a formula to work with.  It is much more difficult to shop as a female, as most women, cis or trans, don't always have the imagination to select garments that would be perfect for more than one occasion.  An example of this would be assembling a set of garments to be worn during the day at work, and that could transition easily for a date night/  Not only does a woman's outerwear have to coordinate well, but her underwear has similar requirements.  The other day, a woman made a comment to me about the type of underwear she had just bought - just in case she gets "lucky."  Even at her age, she realizes that the right underwear can contribute to the image she is presenting at the right time to someone special.

When I first started wearing female clothing, I avoided underwire bras at almost all costs.  But I learned that a well fitting bra can make all the difference in a woman's appearance.  Now, I wear underwire bras more often than not, as they give better support to my prosthetic breasts than the no-wire bras, helping me to look better in my dresses.  The same goes for panties as well.  It's both a matter of comfort and coverage - especially when a pre-op/non-op trans-woman has to "tuck."  

Once I have my underwear on, then I have to think carefully about what I wear that the world will see.  And this is where window shopping comes in.  One has to take a critical eye, and look at what parts of a woman's body is highlighted by a garment, and what parts of a woman's body are minimized.  Usually, I try to wear sleeved tops without a deep "V" in front.  This way, my male shoulders aren't exaggerated, and my lack of natural cleavage is hidden.  Ideally I can find garments that give me the illusion of having a feminine waist, but this isn't easy to do. And, I try to wear low hemmed tops, so that any hint of my male equipment is hidden.  This makes it easier for me to find bottoms I wan wear and still present a reasonably feminine image to the world.

I am lucky to have the funds with which I can make purchasing mistakes.  But if I didn't, I'd be spending even more time learning about female clothing and how it can be adapted to a body which has processed way too much testosterone over the years.

 

Seeing TCL for Dinner

 

If I had had my choice today, I would have gussied myself up before seeing TCL for dinner.  But today was the second drab day of the weekend, and I felt that TCL would be happier if I met her as Mario.

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Like yesterday, I didn't do much until I had to get moving.  But I did get to TCL's place on time for a change.  And this was for the best, as the restaurant we went to was empty when we got there, but packed when we left.  

TCL lives in a nice little town in New Jersey, her house being less than 1,000 feet away from the local railroad station.  If the railroad wasn't there, we could have walked to the restaurant.  Instead, we had to drive 1/2 mile to reach the place.  (This is not a problem for us.)   On the way there, she mentioned the purchase of an undergarment to be worn in case she might get "lucky".  (This is something you'd say to a good friend, and she made sure I knew that it was for a "someone else" if he came along.)  I already knew that she had no intentions towards me, and I let her know that, so she could feel more comfortable after saying that.

A minute later, I parked the car at the restaurant. As expected, the place was empty, and we were seated at a nice table, where we proceeded to have a nice Italian meal with some red wine. (The place is BYOB, so TCL has taken care of the wine when we go to this restaurant.)  By the time we left, the place was packed with at least a dozen people waiting by the door. And then, it was the short drive home. 

We chatted in the car for about 45 minutes, and then she had to go in and I had to go home.  I was amazed that she didn't make a comment on my newly pierced ears.  But then, she was focused on something else - how to tell someone something without making that person feel awkward.  I gave her some ideas on how to approach discussing the topic with her friend, and hope she refines them into something she finds she can use for herself.

Seeing FH for a seafood dinner

 

It's been a while since FH and I got together, Part of me was ambivalent about seeing her, as we do not have too much in common.  But then, I think my ambivalence was related to once dating FH.  Today's post has almost nothing to do with me being transgender, save that I showed FH pictures of me in Marian mode while in Hawaii.

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When I have nothing to do, I relax as much as possible, and relax I did. By the time I was ready to drive to FH's place, it was 4 pm, and I still had to gas up the car, then get cash for the week before proceeding to FH's place.  As much as I tried to avoid some traffic jams, I still took longer than expected to get to Forest Hills.  Once FH got in the car, it was like old times.  No, I don't mean that things went smoothly.  Instead, I mean that it was obvious why I could never have a serious romantic relationship with her, and why she could only be the type of friend I could meet for an occasional dinner once in a blue moon.

We arrived at the restaurant a little bit early, and sat down for dinner as soon as we arrived.  Yes, it was a little bit of sticker shock for FH, but I wanted her to make sure that whenever we get together that it is "dutch treat". She wanted an adult drink, while I could have settled for something a child would drink. Yet, she didn't know what she wanted to drink, and had the waiter suggest a drink.  Too bad that she didn't like it - she had to flag down our waiter to get a different drink.  As for me, I have several go-to adult drinks that I will order, and I decided to have one with dinner.

After waiting a while (and eating the bread, carrots, and celery that was in front of us), dinner came - and we both were filled to the gills. And then it was time for us to go home.  By the time I dropped FH off, I realized how much I missed RQS and wished that she were here with me. 

A Salt & Battery

A Salt & Battery.  If you want a place with almost no atmosphere that serves authentic British style fish and chips, this is the place to go!  It's a hole in the wall place next to its sister restaurant, Tea & Sympathy, which makes some of the best fried seafood in NYC.  Mind you, there may be only 4 seats in this place, so get there early!

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But first....

I had made plans with one of my TG friends (let's call her SRB) to meet for dinner.  SRB and I have gone out to eat before, and she drives in from her job from the hinterlands of Brooklyn.  Today, she had a hard time getting to the restaurant because of rush hour traffic. But she started to relax when we finally got together.

SRB asked me a personal question regarding my relationship with RQS. And I answered her questions, noting what I was able to give up in my path to femininity to have a romantic relationship.  She said I was lucky, as her ex couldn't deal with it. Then, she told me of a fruitless job search, and I noted that our age and TG status could have gotten in the way of things.  (I'm not going to get into details here, as SRB deserves some privacy.)  All too soon, it was time to leave the restaurant, as others wanted the 2 seats we occupied.  So, off we went to find a Starbucks, or another place where we could sit down with a cup of coffee.  Too bad that the local Starbucks closed an hour earlier than the times posted at the store.

After walking a couple of miles, it was time to part.  I made it to Grand Central with just enough time to take a bio-break and get some iced tea from the Starbucks at Grand Central.  Once I made it to my car, I had a quick chat with RQS before going to Wegmans for some grocery shopping.

As I said in another post - one busy day out of several before I get a chance to have a day solely to myself....

This was going to be a busy weekend

 

The old fashioned calendar. If my generation had one or two things scheduled for the day, we'd write them inside one of the boxes that corresponded to the date of the event(s).  If we had a lot of things scheduled for the day, we'd have a daily schedule book with hourly lines in which we'd enter our appointments.  Right now, I have things scheduled for every day that RQS will be away, and I wish I had made more time for myself.

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Thursday was reserved for seeing one of my TG friends for dinner.  She's more of an acquaintance, but someone I enjoy seeing now and then.  If it's possible, RQS and I may attend this woman's party next week. The way things look, this could be the only opportunity I have to present myself as Marian this week, as I'll have to be out as Mario on Friday and Saturday.

Friday was reserved for seeing FH for dinner.  It has been months since I've seen her, and it will be interesting catching up on things.  Part of me is hesitant to do so, even though RQS is aware of this.  No, nothing will come of it, but I think my ambivalence is that FH is not a person with whom I want to have too close a friendship.

Saturday was reserved for seeing TCL.  It's been a long while since we've been together, and I'm not in the mood to skip seeing her again.  With this being said, friends from Yonkers game nights will be going to a comedy club at the same time - and I will miss being with them.

Sunday is a day that I'll have mostly to myself.  Assuming I wake up early enough, I'll be attending church as Marian.  Afterwards, I may go into NYC to see an off-Broadway play.called: "Welcome to Clown Town."  The following citation from the play's website made me interested in going to see this performance:

A solo performance that dives into the bizarre and cantankerous mind of Pixie the Clown. Part birthday party, part therapy session, this live show shares the real-life tales of being a party entertainer in America.

Picture this: the audience rolls into a seemly delightful birthday party filled with bright colors and balloons. The sounds of children laughing with glee are heard as Pixie rolls onto center stage. With her sweet smile beaming, she pops a balloon with a hint of murderous rage: "Awwww, may it rest in pieces". This begins the rock 'n' roll ride through outlandish personal stories of working as a party clown in NYC and Hollywood.

Join Pixie/me in our NSFW immersive experience, as I spit stories (like the time I was run down by gang members) while playing fun party games that consenting audience members can participate in!

This mad-capped adventure blends oral storytelling about a Latina just trying to make ends meet with Pixie the Clown's irascible inner monologues about how to change the world.

The phrase "AWWWW, may it rest in pieces." was what caught my interest. And with my unusual sense of humor, I planned to go to the last performance of this show.  Since I'll have gone to church as Marian, I'll be taking the train into Manhattan as Marian as well.  It'll be nice to start the week off right!

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By the time you read this, everything on the schedule will have already passed.  I'll write more about the weekend as things progress....