When I have nothing much to do, I window shop online

 

First things first.  I am not a thin woman.  But this linen dress caught my eye in this color and in a hunter green - and I wish I could budget the money to buy it.  I know that if I go to Universal Standard, I'd buy this dress and more.

Since Universal Standard is having a sample sale at this time, I'm thinking of buying the above garment. For me, it will mostly be used as sleepwear.  I could also use it as a slip in cooler weather, as it might help me stay warmer while wearing dresses.

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Shopping as a female is an art.  As I've said before, shopping as a male is very easy.  I don't have to think much, once I have a formula to work with.  It is much more difficult to shop as a female, as most women, cis or trans, don't always have the imagination to select garments that would be perfect for more than one occasion.  An example of this would be assembling a set of garments to be worn during the day at work, and that could transition easily for a date night/  Not only does a woman's outerwear have to coordinate well, but her underwear has similar requirements.  The other day, a woman made a comment to me about the type of underwear she had just bought - just in case she gets "lucky."  Even at her age, she realizes that the right underwear can contribute to the image she is presenting at the right time to someone special.

When I first started wearing female clothing, I avoided underwire bras at almost all costs.  But I learned that a well fitting bra can make all the difference in a woman's appearance.  Now, I wear underwire bras more often than not, as they give better support to my prosthetic breasts than the no-wire bras, helping me to look better in my dresses.  The same goes for panties as well.  It's both a matter of comfort and coverage - especially when a pre-op/non-op trans-woman has to "tuck."  

Once I have my underwear on, then I have to think carefully about what I wear that the world will see.  And this is where window shopping comes in.  One has to take a critical eye, and look at what parts of a woman's body is highlighted by a garment, and what parts of a woman's body are minimized.  Usually, I try to wear sleeved tops without a deep "V" in front.  This way, my male shoulders aren't exaggerated, and my lack of natural cleavage is hidden.  Ideally I can find garments that give me the illusion of having a feminine waist, but this isn't easy to do. And, I try to wear low hemmed tops, so that any hint of my male equipment is hidden.  This makes it easier for me to find bottoms I wan wear and still present a reasonably feminine image to the world.

I am lucky to have the funds with which I can make purchasing mistakes.  But if I didn't, I'd be spending even more time learning about female clothing and how it can be adapted to a body which has processed way too much testosterone over the years.

 

Wig Shopping

 

There are several keys to a good feminine presentation, and I've worked on making all of them top notch.  (Now, if only I could get my weight under control, so that I can go back to wearing Size-18W clothes.) The 3 I am most concerned with are:

1. Voice
2. Hair Style (Natural Hair or Wigs)
3. Appropriate Clothing

I have discussed all of these items in prior entries.  Today, I want to discuss wigs again.

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Wig shopping can be hit or miss.  For one's first wig, an inexpensive mail order wig will suffice until one gets serious about making an acceptable feminine presentation.  Once one is ready to graduate on to better wigs, it makes sense to go to a wig store and ask for help.  You will pay for the assistance in the price of the wig, but it is worth it to get something that fits and that is in a color and style that works with one's face and body.

In my case, I have settled on two different wigs.  One is from Raquel Welch, and the other from Jon Renau.  Both wigs are in a large cap, and they are very comfortable.  I will be switching between a darker shade of wig used for the cold months and a slightly lighter shade used for the warmer months. My problem is that each wig costs about $300-$350, and it's hard to find them on sale when both my color and size are on sale.

Many companies selling wigs are simply intermediaries.  They will take the order, send it to the manufacturer, and take a cut for the sale when it is shipped.  Others maintain their own inventory. In both cases, I have found that my preferred size and color is out of stock more often than it is in stock.  So I've decided to buy 2 wigs at a time, so that I always have a spare to use.

I'm not going to give my readers a list of reputable online wig stores.  My advice. is to ask around and see what people say about each store.  Someone I used to know swore by the inexpensive wigs she got from China.  But then, I would never trust these wigs, as there is too much risk that I'd be wasting my money.  It is better to take your time and find a couple of online stores you can trust than to take a risk on a fly by night outfit.  If possible, stay friendly with a brick and mortar store as well.  They can be quite helpful in a pinch....

Cleaning the mess that has become of my Apartment.

 

Strangely enough, my bed has more stuff on it today than when this picture was taken.  Yet, I was able to sort through more stuff today than I have been able to do in the past month.  And I have a fighting chance of having this place "clean" enough to have RQS up for a visit.

Vicki and I were supposed to meet today for dinner and a concert in Tarrytown.  The one catch - I really needed this day to clean things up, as I'd have the most free (and energy filled) hours to allocate to this task in one day.  So I skipped out on going to church as I originally planned and started work on the apartment.  

The corner of my bedroom nearest to the nearest part of the bed I sleep on has been an awkward mess for a while.  Now, I've cleaned out that corner.  Additionally, the pathway on the other side of the bad has been cleared out (for the most part), and I have been able to relocate some things into better locations in the room.  I can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel, and I'm hoping that it's not from an oncoming train.

When 3:30 pm came, I reluctantly stopped work on the room and got ready to see Vicki.  As many of my readers readily understand, I tossed several dresses onto my bed to wear tonight, and chose a blouse and trouser outfit in its stead.  (As much as I enjoy seeing Vicki, I'd have rather not gone to the concert.  But she had already bought the tickets assuming I'd be with her, and I didn't want to disappoint her.)

We ended up going to a Taco joint near the theater, and both of us said "Meh!" about the place.  The food was adequate, but not satisfying.  Next time, we'll go somewhere else.  And then it was off to the theater for the next 2 1/2 hours.  To call the first performer mediocre would be a compliment at best.  The second performer struck a chord with Vicki, but not with me.  Next time, I hope she remembers that I wasn't impressed with this guy and goes alone.

On the way home, I called RQS and introduced her to Vicki.  RQS noted that Vicki is like a sister to me.  It's nice to know that these two women will likely get along when they finally meet.

Dressing

One of the problems with being transgender is learning how to dress yourself so that you blend in with other women.  I've made more than my share of mistakes in the past, and I have been overdressed more times than I'd like to remember.  But learning from our mistakes is the best way to learn how to blend in with other females.  So, I realized early on that there is only so much a transgender self help group can give me.

I'm not knocking transgender support groups.  We need groups of people with which we can feel safe. But Transgender people need cisgender women to use for our patterns of femininity.  For example, I learned that I could never wear a dress like the one above to a casual function.  Instead, I would either need a very casual dress, or to wear some sort of trouser based outfit.  Additionally, we need to pattern our speech patterns and conversation topics on those cisgender women often use - and those do not involve most sports.  (Yes, women participate in sports.  But sports are not the focus of most women's lives.  Instead, it is usually their family lives that they will talk about with other women.)

Once a transwoman gets to a certain point, she must go out and make those mistakes one learns from.  And I have made a lot of those mistakes since I've gone out as Marian.  But now, I have to figure out what my next steps will be.  Soon, I expect that I will be getting my ears pierced.  This is a small step, but one that may be noticed when I go out as Mario.  Each step forward towards femininity is a step away from masculinity.  How far do you want to go on your journey?  As for me, I'm still figuring out that question for myself.