Seeing FH for a seafood dinner

 

It's been a while since FH and I got together, Part of me was ambivalent about seeing her, as we do not have too much in common.  But then, I think my ambivalence was related to once dating FH.  Today's post has almost nothing to do with me being transgender, save that I showed FH pictures of me in Marian mode while in Hawaii.

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When I have nothing to do, I relax as much as possible, and relax I did. By the time I was ready to drive to FH's place, it was 4 pm, and I still had to gas up the car, then get cash for the week before proceeding to FH's place.  As much as I tried to avoid some traffic jams, I still took longer than expected to get to Forest Hills.  Once FH got in the car, it was like old times.  No, I don't mean that things went smoothly.  Instead, I mean that it was obvious why I could never have a serious romantic relationship with her, and why she could only be the type of friend I could meet for an occasional dinner once in a blue moon.

We arrived at the restaurant a little bit early, and sat down for dinner as soon as we arrived.  Yes, it was a little bit of sticker shock for FH, but I wanted her to make sure that whenever we get together that it is "dutch treat". She wanted an adult drink, while I could have settled for something a child would drink. Yet, she didn't know what she wanted to drink, and had the waiter suggest a drink.  Too bad that she didn't like it - she had to flag down our waiter to get a different drink.  As for me, I have several go-to adult drinks that I will order, and I decided to have one with dinner.

After waiting a while (and eating the bread, carrots, and celery that was in front of us), dinner came - and we both were filled to the gills. And then it was time for us to go home.  By the time I dropped FH off, I realized how much I missed RQS and wished that she were here with me. 

National African American Museum

 

The above is a picture of RQS standing in front of the Point of Pines Cabin at the National African American History Museum.  Given America's history of treating Blacks as second class people, I feel that this museum is a "must visit" for all Americans. 

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RQS set up the agenda for this trip.  The schedule for our first full day in DC, Sunday, was a visit to the National African American History Museum, followed by a dinner "somewhere".  There was an exhibit at the Arts and Industries Building we wanted to see yesterday, but we were too tired to see it when we arrived.  This morning, we didn't bother waking up early enough to see this exhibit, and proceeded to walk the length of the mall to reach today's museum by 12:30 pm.

Upon entering the museum, we proceeded to the second floor and started viewing exhibits.  Most of the exhibits on this floor focused on artifacts in the 20th century.  This included women in professions such as midwifery, people in sports, and other artifacts related to the "black experience".  It took us over 1 1/2 hours to make it through half of this floor before we decided to have lunch.

After lunch, we went to a larger exhibition (I think permanent) which took up 3 lower levels of the building.  It showed how "Blackness" and "Whiteness" was not a big issue in Western society until European nations started to colonize the Americas and use Africans as slaves.  (I'm not doing the exhibits justice.  You'll  have to see it for yourself.)  From there, the exhibition showed how blacks were brought to the Americas, how they were treated once here, and how slavery affected American society - even after slavery was "abolished" in the United States.  By the time 5:00 came around, we were exhausted, and we went back to the hotel to rest for a while.

Later that evening, it was time to eat, and we made it to U Street.  Unfortunately, we selected an Ethiopian restaurant which once served good food with lousy service.  This time, it was mediocre food with lousy service.  Both of us wanted something sweet to eat afterwards, so we ended up walking a while before finding a Jeni's ice cream shop.  And this was an unexpected blessing, as there was a line out the door.  This meant we'd likely enjoy the ice cream we were about to have - which we did.  It was a nice way to end a great day....

Cleaning the mess that has become of my Apartment.

 

Strangely enough, my bed has more stuff on it today than when this picture was taken.  Yet, I was able to sort through more stuff today than I have been able to do in the past month.  And I have a fighting chance of having this place "clean" enough to have RQS up for a visit.

Vicki and I were supposed to meet today for dinner and a concert in Tarrytown.  The one catch - I really needed this day to clean things up, as I'd have the most free (and energy filled) hours to allocate to this task in one day.  So I skipped out on going to church as I originally planned and started work on the apartment.  

The corner of my bedroom nearest to the nearest part of the bed I sleep on has been an awkward mess for a while.  Now, I've cleaned out that corner.  Additionally, the pathway on the other side of the bad has been cleared out (for the most part), and I have been able to relocate some things into better locations in the room.  I can finally see the light at the end of the tunnel, and I'm hoping that it's not from an oncoming train.

When 3:30 pm came, I reluctantly stopped work on the room and got ready to see Vicki.  As many of my readers readily understand, I tossed several dresses onto my bed to wear tonight, and chose a blouse and trouser outfit in its stead.  (As much as I enjoy seeing Vicki, I'd have rather not gone to the concert.  But she had already bought the tickets assuming I'd be with her, and I didn't want to disappoint her.)

We ended up going to a Taco joint near the theater, and both of us said "Meh!" about the place.  The food was adequate, but not satisfying.  Next time, we'll go somewhere else.  And then it was off to the theater for the next 2 1/2 hours.  To call the first performer mediocre would be a compliment at best.  The second performer struck a chord with Vicki, but not with me.  Next time, I hope she remembers that I wasn't impressed with this guy and goes alone.

On the way home, I called RQS and introduced her to Vicki.  RQS noted that Vicki is like a sister to me.  It's nice to know that these two women will likely get along when they finally meet.

It's too easy to stay in bed all day

 

 

With the exception that I sleep on my back, I often look as spent as this woman does as I wake up each morning.  And if I didn't have something to take care of today, I would have stayed in bed and rested....

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My docket was filled with one task - driving FH and her dog to the vet. This meant one thing, I had to get to her place on time, so that the dog could make it to the vet's on time.  However, FH asked that I arrive at her place a little bit early so that she could stop at the drug store beforehand.  So I didn't have the time I needed to find the Valentine's Day card I had lost in the clutter on my desk.  I figured that I could pick up a V-Day box of Torrone (Italian Nougat Candy) at the local deli - and they had run out.  AARGH!  Now I had nothing to bring with me, and I knew I'd have to lie a little, saying that I left everything at home.

Most of the way down to Long Island was uneventful, save for a traffic jam near the Whitestone Bridge.  I skirted around that jam on local roads, and made it to FH's house ar 2:45.  After our stop at the drug store, we drove to the Vet's office in Richmond Hill where we dropped the dog off for a while. 30 minutes later, it was back on the road, and off to another drug store to pick up her friend's syringes. And finally, we returned to Forest Hills.  FH brought her friend's syringes up to her friend's apartment, and she was concerned about how bad her friend's place was.  (It makes me wonder what she'd think of my place.)  They talked for 15 minutes or so, and then she came back to the car (where her dog was finally resting nicely on my arm.) Now it was time to drop the dog back at FH's place, and then go out to dinner.

Along the way to Herricks, FH brought up the topic of Gender Preference vs. Gender Identity and Gender Presentation.  She still thinks that I am interested in males as partners - and that's the furthest thing from reality.  But I understand the views of people who don't understand what being transgender is all about.  She's living with a misconception that many people have.  And that's one of many reasons I don't think it will work out between us.  We first looked into an Italian restaurant my dad used to like, and it was too crowded for FH's taste.  Then we went next door to the Korean/Japanese restaurant where we had a nice meal.  At the end of the meal, she was chatting with the waitress about "Chinese" new year, not realizing that many Asian cultures celebrate Lunar new year, and that to the waitress it was Korean new year.

There are many things might get to me if I felt that I'd end up with FH.  But for now, she's a nice person to hang out with.... 

 

Opening up from Quarantine

This dress is something I picked up from Catherine's, thinking it would be  perfect for summer. I sent a copy of the picture above to Vicki #1, and she said it looked great.  What do you think?

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Unfortunately, I wore the dress to work the other day. So I settled on wearing another outfit to work that I bought at the same time - an aqua gauzy shirt, with a breezy patterned skirt with aqua as its dominant color.  (Sorry I didn't get a picture of it before going to work.)  And this is what I wore before dinner with Vicki in Connecticut.

As virtually everyone is aware, the recent Quarantine has gotten in the way of everyone's lives.  My former girlfriend has had to make major changes in how she runs her small business, and she no longer has the physical endurance she had before contracting the virus and having places where she could regularly pursue her favorite exercise routines.  As for me, I've tried to go for walks on the days I have free from work, and am gradually building up the endurance I'll need to go on hikes with meetup groups in the region.

Back to dinner with Vicki.... 

We had different, but compatible, reasons for "chancing" this dinner.  I figured that going out in the early stages of reopening would result in the least risk of catching the virus before the second wave hits.  She believes that we must get back to living our lives, knowing that this wave will come, and that the hospitals should not be overrun with new admissions, now that the first wave has passed.  Both are likely to be true.  And I'm also at the point where where I think we should gradually reopen the economy until the second wave hits - then deal with that wave when it comes.

Our first problem was choosing a place to eat.  We needed an inexpensive place which had outdoor seating.  This meant looking through all of the options available to us in a google search, specifically noting "outdoor dining" as a requirement.  And we settled on Southwest Cafe in Ridgefield, CT as our choice.  Our next problem was seating.  We had to be sure to get a seat when we arrived.  The place took no reservations, but noted that they never reached their capacity limits. And the third, but minor, problem was my work schedule - I  got out of work at 5:30,. This left us a short time to make it to the restaurant on time to enjoy a leisurely meal.

Of course, it would have been easy for me to have stayed late at work.  As a non-manager, I am prohibited from doing so. This made it ethically possible to rush out the door at 5:30 and head over to Vicki's.  After picking up the money I'd need for the night, I had to take Route 129 to Vicki's and pass by the Croton Dam Park area.  In one sense, I'm glad that they have closed the park - the "tourists" will be taking their walks elsewhere.  However, we still see people wanting to talk with the cops policing the entrances, getting in the way of people (like me) who have places to go.  And yet, I made it to Vicki's by 6:00 pm.

After picking up Vicki, we got to the restaurant by 6:30, and were seated by 7:00.  Everything that came to the table was disposable - the plastic cups, the plastic tableware, napkins, plates, etc. were all disposable, according to guidance from Connecticut's department of health.  Yet, this wasn't an issue.  Both my drink and my dinner's portion size made up for everything.  I was glad to help a restaurant stay open in these hard times.  And I am looking forward to the days where Westchester will be allowed to reopen as well.

I won't go into the details of what Vicki and I discussed over dinner.  A casual reader of this blog will take things the wrong way.  But I can say that we had a great time, finally achieving some normalcy that we haven't had since Mid March.  One minor drawback was that she misgendered me in public.  It seems that I'll have to watch out for this in people now that things are returning to a new normal.  It took a long time for a former friend to get used to correctly gendering me when presenting as female, and I think that Vicki made a casual mistake of someone finally being able to relax in public for a change.

Another meetup with the Fun Time Friends

I had two things on my docket for today, and I almost forgot the one I wanted to take care of the most....

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When I got up this morning, I didn't feel fully rested.  Instead, I felt like a battery that was charged to 90% of capacity, but needed a little more juice to bring myself to full alertness.  For a change, I awakened before 7:00, and was out of the bed for the day before 8:00.  If my 7 hours of sleep could be counted from the time I put my CPAP mask on, I'd have had a full night's sleep.  But I didn't start falling out until 1:30 or so, and that was reflected in how I felt.

Taking it easy all day, I didn't start to get ready to do a volunteer stint at the LGBT center until 2:00.  This meant that I'd get to the center around 3:30 for my shift.  And today, my tasks were a little more interesting than usual (but not much).  First, I had to do a Powerpoint slide, a flyer and a couple of calendar updates for an LGBT related movie to be shown next month at a community theater.  Once done with that, I checked all of the LGBT Center's resource website links, making sure that their site contains only validated links.  This took up the better part of my 2 hours there. And then the alarm pop-up came on my phone - I had a meetup scheduled in Southport, Ct. for dinner - OOPS!  I almost forgot that!!!.  So I walked over to my car, started to play some tunes, and off to dinner I went.

When traffic is running smoothly, driving from White Plains to Southport takes about 35 minutes.  However, if one is dealing with rush hour traffic, the drive can take 3 times as long. Tonight's drive took only twice as long - and I got to the restaurant shortly after 7:00.  I remembered this restaurant's location from years ago.  It is the former site of the Southport Brewing Company, a brewpub that an ex-girlfriend and I used to frequent a few years ago.

Parking my car and entering the restaurant, I noticed that there were no seats available at the table in the background of the above picture (where the meetup's hostess was sitting). So I sat down with the ladies at the table in the above picture.  It was a pleasure being treated as one of the ladies, and even more of a pleasure when the hostess came over and greeted me very warmly.  (If I were presenting as a male, I'd interpret this woman's physically warm greeting very differently.  But I digress.)  She makes me feel that it is worth the effort to come to this group's meetings, as I know she remembers how long it's been since I've been around to one of the group's meetups.

Service at the restaurant was very slow.  We didn't have our orders taken until 8:00, and didn't even have food until 8:45 or so.  For a busy night (this was Fairfield County Restaurant Week), they didn't staff the place well.  And by the time we were finished with dinner and paying our checks, it was coming on 9:45.  Even our hostess was unimpressed with the place, and will likely never schedule another dinner there in the future.

Leaving the restaurant at 10:00, I called GFJ for the ride home, and we chatted for the next hour.  As much as neither of us had a lot to say, it was good to know that there was someone on the other end of the line who cares for me, someone to keep me company on a boring drive home.  She is the reason why I said in one email: "There are some things I want more than transition." Hopefully, GFJ knows that our relationship is that important to me....

An Autumn Nor'easter is expected

When I started this entry, I was grateful that it isn't winter.  A storm like what was expected for this evening through Thursday afternoon would be a pain, but only consist of rain.  It would most likely get in the way of my daily events, but not cause me many problems after the storm ended.

Considering my lack of energy, I decided to bail out on volunteering for the day, and rested until it was time to get ready for dinner in Fishkill.  I expected that a few people would bail from the meetup because of the rain. But I didn't expect that I could be the only person there. So, I decided to brave the rain and drive to the Eleven-Eleven restaurant for a 6:30 dinner.  I arrived at the meetup a few minutes late, as it was hard to find a legal parking lot.  But there was nothing to be concerned about - no one's drink orders had been taken, and it would be a while before dinner orders were taken.

Sitting down at the far end of the table, I was able to chat with a new member of the meetup group.  But she wasn't my prime focus of conversation.  Instead, it was the two people to my right - a husband/wife couple who were interested in cruising.  And I had a couple of stories to tell.  However, it was hard to be heard over the noise.  This is not the place to go if you want a romantic meal.  Instead, this is a place to go when you want a pleasant night with someone, but aren't interested in heavy conversation.

As the gathering waned, WDJ came over to chat with me and this new member.  We were chatting for a while after most of our group left, and I chatted a bit more with this woman after WDJ left.  When the rain eased off a little, the two of us headed to our cars, and we headed to our separate homes.