Thoughts on a therapist

 

Money is important to me, as it allows me the freedom to do what I want in life - with moderation.  Recently, I got the price on some GLP-1 drugs, and none of them are reasonably priced for me.  If I were to take the Ozempic that my doctor prescribed, I wouldn't be able to afford a bucket list cruise this year.  There is no way for me to justify that after booking a bucket list cruise this past autumn.

I'm grateful that I can make this kind of choice.  My former therapist would hector me a bit on this.  But he had the attitude of an addict in recovery - his whole life revolved around his recovery, and not his life as a whole. The man could only focus on my food addiction issues and not the other issues I had with my life.  Towards the end, I realized that he either didn't respect my opinions, or was trying to provoke me.  (I can still remember how dismissive he was when I mentioned that I was investigating an annuity for an investment, and remember how he was prodding me to try some vegetables I hated him saying that maybe your tastes have changed.)  As much as I realize that I didn't have the emotional strength to tell him to fuck himself at the time, I did gain a lot from his therapy sessions for a while, and was glad when he retired to Hawaii.  I've grown a lot since then, and I am much more comfortable challenging people when needed - I have a feeling that he'd be glad for me.

Why did I bring up my former therapist?  Well, I never felt comfortable talking about presenting as Marian with him.  The man was a staunch Republican, a recovering alcoholic, and I bet that he'd be supporting the Orange Snowflake out of tribal loyalty, and not out of logical thought processes.  But then, most twelve-step programs tell people to surrender to "higher powers", and that usually translates to adhering to some undefined faith.  

As you can see, I'm letting my thoughts run a little wild today. But then, it's my blog, and I'm thinking of a man who was a decent person, someone who was a little unorthodox in his craft, and who I would have liked to meet in a non-therapeutic setting - if only to finally be able to tell him that if he didn't respect my opinions, that he could stick it where light doesn't shine before going out to Starbucks.

I decided NOT to take a 401-k distribution

 

Since I was forced to retire from the bank, I've had access to my 401-k retirement account for use.  Although I left the bank before I was 59 1/2, federal law allowed me to collect from the bank's pension plan after I turned 55.  I lived on my pension, coupled with money from some short term gigs, and finally started collecting money from Social Security when I turned 66 1/2.  It helped that I was able to collect some monthly money from renting out the family homestead, as well as tapping into the 401-k a couple of times.

The last time I tapped into the 401-k plan, it was on the last business date in 2024 that I could take a distribution for the year. So, I had to ask myself a question: Did I want to take a distribution for 2025?  And I answered my own question - NO.  Although I may take a 2026 distribution, I will have a drop in income for 2025 because I had no money coming in from the family homestead and took no 401-k distributions.  (I can only think of what my tax preparer will say in a couple of months.)

Next year (as I write this - it's still 2025 right now), I will likely take a larger distribution than I did last year and trigger a larger tax bill for 2026.  (I'll deal with that in 2027.)  I want to be able to take another cruise towards year end, and not worry if RQS will be able to afford it or not.  (A Hawaii cruise is on the horizon, and I want RQS to see the state while she's able to travel.)

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When I turn 73, I will be forced to take Required Minimum Distributions (RMDs) to comply with IRS regulations.  Right now, the website tells me that I have more than I need to retire well.  And I'm grateful for that.  I certainly didn't plan for the life I've had so far - the things I wanted for myself when I was a child, a young adult, and a middle aged adult are not what I got in life.  In many ways, I'm glad I didn't get those things, as I'd likely be a person I wouldn't like to know today.

The younger version of me wanted wealth and power.  The person I became simply wants independence, freedom, security, and to be unaffected by the madness going on in the outside world.  I allow no one to burden me with responsibilities or duties they have no right to impose.  And I am finally comfortable telling people to go to "Helen Waite" when needed. I did a lot of growing up in my senior years, and I'm glad I finally did so.

Getting ready for my next cruise.

 

The above is far from my favorite cruise itinerary.  This is a route I've sailed twice before: once with XGFJ, and once as a solo traveler. Both cruises are best forgotten, albeit for different reasons.

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When I last cruised this route (albeit to another cruise line's private island), it was the worst cruise I ever sailed on.. There is "no there there" for Port Canaveral, and the only reason that I got off the ship there was to go to the Kennedy Space Center.  (I'm surprised that the Orange Snowflake hasn't yet named it the "Trump - Kennedy Space Center".😆) 

Next is Nassau. The first time I was here, following a disappointing trip on a glass bottomed boat, XGFJ and I walked around the port area a little bit and got bored.  Since I am not into beaches, I'd get bored going here again.

And finally, there is the cruise line's private island.  Great Stirrup Cay was a disappointment when I was there, as there was no dock for the ship.  Everyone had to use tender boats to go between the island and the ship, and I didn't bother going to the island with XGFJ.  She wasn't that happy with the snorkel experience she had, as the water was churned up too much to get a clear view of the underwater life.  To make things worse, the tender boat had a hard time returning to the ship due to high winds.  (Although I've seen evidence that the new pier for this island is finally available, I still see little gain by visiting this place.)

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So, why did I choose this cruise?

It was the cheapest way I could find for RQS and I to spend a week together and to see whether I'll consider cruising on NCL again for cruises other than the Bermuda run from NYC and for the 7-night Hawaii run from Honolulu.  Many people have reported that NCL now has the feel of a cruise line that nickel-dimes too much.  My impression has been that post-pandemic cruising has a much different feel (and I'm not referring to health related changes) than the pre-pandemic cruises that made NCL a go-to cruise line for me.

Will we have been spoiled too much by Cunard and Princess to choose NCL in the future?  Who knows? But I know that there are only a limited number of cruises that NCL offers that I want to take.  Without being able to get self-service laundry onboard, I will avoid taking cruises longer than a week on this line. (The free laundry bag provided to Platinum, Sapphire, Diamond and Ambassador status is a little too small to clean most garments other than undergarments and socks.)  

I may have outgrown NCL as a go-to cruise line.  But I'm glad to know that I still have good cruises ahead of me on other lines.    

The weekend ended early for us

 

I've gotten so used to having RQS around, that it always feels a little strange when she has to go home.  Today was the last Sunday of 2025, and it was an early end of a weekend for us due to New Year coming on a Thursday this coming week.  And it feels stranger today, as she will be back here in 2 days.

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On Sundays, if I wake up early enough at my home, I have the option of going to church.  It's partially a running joke with us that I will turn over and go back to sleep for another 2 hours or so, instead of going to church.  Although I was up at 8 am, I decided to stay inside and watch videos while RQS slept.

Around 9:30 am, RQS got up, and we relaxed a little more before showering and getting dressed.  This is when I started work on the co-op meeting minutes for December, so that they can be reviewed and corrected before the end of the year.  (I usually try to keep myself occupied when RQS is showering and getting ready for the day.)  We were both ready by 1 pm, and I dropped her off at the station 30 minutes later. What I didn't mention so far is that I decided to go out as Mario for one reason only: I had to return the watch I bought as a Christmas gift for RQS, and I expected to need to present as Mario for this trip.  (If I put off the return for another day, I could have enjoyed a day out as Marian. 

Once I was done with returning the watch, it was back home to rest a little.  Sometime around 6 pm, I decided to replace my CPAP mask, and I fell asleep while trying it out.  (I must have both needed sleep and to replace the mask.)  By the time I woke up, it was late, and I'll bet that RQS wondered why I didn't call.  So I shot her a message to tell her that she could call me - if she was still awake when she read the message.

Tomorrow (weather permitting), it will be a Marian day for the rest of the week.  What better a way to spend New Year's Eve, than to be out as Marian.... 

The only reason I got dressed was to shovel out my car (a short post)

 

It is the last weekend of the year, and several inches of snow fell last night.  There was only one reason for me to get dressed - to move my car, so that the plow could clear the spot.  Luckily, I had parked my car in a visitor's spot the night before, so I only had to brush off the car, scrape the windshield a little, and move the car back to my already plowed packing space.

When I came back inside, RQS wondered whether I had even started the process of cleaning off the car.  And I was getting ready to get undressed to be able to relax for the rest of the day.  And rest we did, watching several movies and videos on the TV, making excuses not to do some laundry. Yet, we finally took care of that task around 3:30 pm.

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Snow days are common at this time of year, and I cherished the forced relaxation time we get on these days.  Yes, we will do laundry on these days when at my home.  But I can often stay in my jammies for much of the day.

One thing I've noticed is that I am slowing down.  Getting older is a drag, but the alternative would be far worse right now. For everything, there is a time and a season.  Right now it's winter outside, and I see that stage coming in my life.  And I'm comfortable with that.

Twas the day after Christmas, and all through the house....

 

Twas the day after Christmas, and all through the house....

Well, the stores were all stirring with people returning gifts, and those shopping for food in advance of the oncoming snowstorm.

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RQS and I knew we had to go out to get some food before the snow started, and we didn't get out early enough to get a lot of things done.  I decided to go out as Mario today, as there was no sense in presenting as Marian on a day where I might need to present my legal ID.

Our first place to stop was the local BJ's.  However, the parking lot was too crowded for us to risk spending time there to return an item I bought before Christmas.  (I can return the item as soon as I shovel out my car after the snowstorm ends.)  And then, it was off to Trader Joe's - a place much more crowded than usual, noted by both the numbers of shopping carts in use and by the lines of people waiting on line to pay for the food in their carts.

Next, was a stop at the drug store.  I was supposed to pick up a prescription for a GLP-1 drug.  However, when I saw the price of the drug ($510 for a low dose), I decided NOT to buy it.  I'll discuss this with my doctor when I see him in January.  There is no way that I'm going to spend that much of my after tax money on a drug which may aggravate other problems I have with my body - and I'm referring to my GI Tract.

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When I got home, I checked the prices for GLP-1 drugs on my plan, and they are insane.  Unless the price drops significantly, I will not bother with these drugs,  RQS wanted to suggest a few things, but I knew that having her try to help when I'm not ready for help would make things worse.  Thankfully, she knows how to read me well enough to let me process things if I cut her off.  Our communication style and skills may not be perfect, but we are lucky to be able to air things out before they fester and make things worse.

A nice dinner out. (Not much to say, as I'm recovering from a cold.)

 As I'm writing this, it's Christmas Eve, and I'm still recovering from a cold.  So I won't say too much about today.  

RQS came up from the city, and I picked her up around 1:30.  Both of us were a bit hungry, so we went to the local pizza parlor before taking a rest at home.  A couple of hours later, we went to Cold Spring for dinner.  If I hadn't made Xmas Eve reservations, I'd rather have stayed in for the night.

We got to Cold Spring early, and were seated in an almost empty section of the restaurant.  Both the food and service were top notch, and I had enough taste buds working to enjoy the meal.  But my cold was draining me, and we decided to skip going to church as we planned.

I don't have much energy today - I'll write more soon.