Thoughts on a therapist

 

Money is important to me, as it allows me the freedom to do what I want in life - with moderation.  Recently, I got the price on some GLP-1 drugs, and none of them are reasonably priced for me.  If I were to take the Ozempic that my doctor prescribed, I wouldn't be able to afford a bucket list cruise this year.  There is no way for me to justify that after booking a bucket list cruise this past autumn.

I'm grateful that I can make this kind of choice.  My former therapist would hector me a bit on this.  But he had the attitude of an addict in recovery - his whole life revolved around his recovery, and not his life as a whole. The man could only focus on my food addiction issues and not the other issues I had with my life.  Towards the end, I realized that he either didn't respect my opinions, or was trying to provoke me.  (I can still remember how dismissive he was when I mentioned that I was investigating an annuity for an investment, and remember how he was prodding me to try some vegetables I hated him saying that maybe your tastes have changed.)  As much as I realize that I didn't have the emotional strength to tell him to fuck himself at the time, I did gain a lot from his therapy sessions for a while, and was glad when he retired to Hawaii.  I've grown a lot since then, and I am much more comfortable challenging people when needed - I have a feeling that he'd be glad for me.

Why did I bring up my former therapist?  Well, I never felt comfortable talking about presenting as Marian with him.  The man was a staunch Republican, a recovering alcoholic, and I bet that he'd be supporting the Orange Snowflake out of tribal loyalty, and not out of logical thought processes.  But then, most twelve-step programs tell people to surrender to "higher powers", and that usually translates to adhering to some undefined faith.  

As you can see, I'm letting my thoughts run a little wild today. But then, it's my blog, and I'm thinking of a man who was a decent person, someone who was a little unorthodox in his craft, and who I would have liked to meet in a non-therapeutic setting - if only to finally be able to tell him that if he didn't respect my opinions, that he could stick it where light doesn't shine before going out to Starbucks.

Twas the day after Christmas, and all through the house....

 

Twas the day after Christmas, and all through the house....

Well, the stores were all stirring with people returning gifts, and those shopping for food in advance of the oncoming snowstorm.

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RQS and I knew we had to go out to get some food before the snow started, and we didn't get out early enough to get a lot of things done.  I decided to go out as Mario today, as there was no sense in presenting as Marian on a day where I might need to present my legal ID.

Our first place to stop was the local BJ's.  However, the parking lot was too crowded for us to risk spending time there to return an item I bought before Christmas.  (I can return the item as soon as I shovel out my car after the snowstorm ends.)  And then, it was off to Trader Joe's - a place much more crowded than usual, noted by both the numbers of shopping carts in use and by the lines of people waiting on line to pay for the food in their carts.

Next, was a stop at the drug store.  I was supposed to pick up a prescription for a GLP-1 drug.  However, when I saw the price of the drug ($510 for a low dose), I decided NOT to buy it.  I'll discuss this with my doctor when I see him in January.  There is no way that I'm going to spend that much of my after tax money on a drug which may aggravate other problems I have with my body - and I'm referring to my GI Tract.

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When I got home, I checked the prices for GLP-1 drugs on my plan, and they are insane.  Unless the price drops significantly, I will not bother with these drugs,  RQS wanted to suggest a few things, but I knew that having her try to help when I'm not ready for help would make things worse.  Thankfully, she knows how to read me well enough to let me process things if I cut her off.  Our communication style and skills may not be perfect, but we are lucky to be able to air things out before they fester and make things worse.

A visit to the doctor - something I never like.

 

This is not a photo of my doctor.  Only when I started living full time as Marian and moving towards a medical transition, would I switch to a female doctor.  (As long as I  have my original equipment, I'd feel a little uncomfortable with a doctor who doesn't have my "plumbing configuration."  With that being said, this is not a discussion about doctors for transgender people.  We need to choose doctors with whom we are comfortable, and advocate for the best treatment we can get in our healthcare system.

Today, I visited my doctor.  I knew that he was going to be upset that I gained a couple more pounds since I last saw him.  But he was surprised to find out that the pharmacy was going to charge me $500/month for a Mounjaro (GLP-1) prescription.  There was no way I was going to pay that much for a drug, when there are others that Medicare has approved and is covered by my prescription insurance plan.  

What I forgot as well as my doctor did was that I was supposed to get my yearly physical.  So, after my visit was "done", I was asked to stay a while to get my blood drawn and for an EKG to be taken.  I again mentioned the problem with the GLP-1 drug that was prescribed, and he said that his assistant would look into this for me.  Guess what?  I got a text from his service that an Ozempic prescription was now on file, and also got a text from the pharmacy that the prescription was ready for pickup.  I'll have to call up the pharmacy to ask how much this prescription costs before I start with it.

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Unfortunately, there was 2 inches of snow on my car when I left for the doctor.  When I returned, I found that my parking space hadn't yet been plowed.  So, when I heard the plow a hour later, I was out of the house again to kill some time for the plow to do its job.  With the expected slop to be on the ground for tomorrow, I'll have to give up on the idea of wearing a fancy dress to Christmas Eve dinner and  to church, and simply wear a sweater dress over leggings for practicality.

This is the kind of problem many of us have to deal with during winter in New York.  It could be much worse.  But I'd rather have the problems I have in a TG accepting state, than to live in Florida where we are treated like dirt.  And some people wonder why I stay in my high tax state....

By the time you read this, I'll be back home and running at full speed.

 

This would be a short weekend with RQS, and a last chance to prepare for the above cruise.  I would need to drop off my bags at RQS's place, and then go home to park my car before going back to RQS's place before cruise day.  Any business I needed to take care of before the cruise had to be done now, as I couldn't do it while on the cruise.

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My plans for the Friday before the cruise were to see my doctor, finish my packing for the cruise, and then drive to RQS's place for a "short" weekend.  ("Short" means going down on Friday and driving back on Sunday.)  The first think on my task list was a doctor's visit.  We discussed things I need to do (lose weight, having gained 5 lbs.), as well as getting a prescription for a GLP-1 drug.  Well, he put thru the prescription to my local drug store (probably without checking first to see if Medicare covered the drug) and I balked at a $500/month price for the prescription.  There is no way that I am going to spend that much on a drug to help me lose weight (and get my Type-2 under better control), and I will tell him so when I see him just before Xmas.

Next on my list of things to do was getting money from the bank, as I'll need some folding money to take with me when sailing between the islands.  (Now, I have to get small bills, so that I can make buy small value things in ports.)  That took place without problems, as I got to the bank before the ATM shut down before weekly replenishment.

Finally, it was time for me to drive to Queens.  I was out the door by 2:30, and I made good time until I reached the Van Wyck Expressway.  There, traffic slowed to a standstill without reason.  So, I bailed, and went on local streets to keep moving.  (If I bail at Jewel Avenue, I pass by a former acquaintance's apartment house - someone who is better lost than found.)   I was able to snake through local streets to get to RQS's place, and asked RQS to meet me where I parked to unload all the stuff I had with me.

Once back at RQS's place and having a chance to rest, we ordered a pizza and relaxed for the rest of the evening.

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Saturday came, and we walked to the supermarket to take care of food shopping that will last RQS until the day we leave on our cruise.  I pointed out the Porterhouse Steak that we both drooled over, then selected the salmon we had for dinner.  (This was the first time that RQS did everything right - the salmon was perfectly cooked, and the rice was tasty; She gets in her cooking practice when I'm around, and I'm sure to always show my appreciation for her efforts.)  

After dinner, RQS finished up most of her packing, and we were able to relax again.  Both of us were exhausted from what went on during the prior week, and we were glad to have each other to relax with.

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On Sunday, I had to go home to take care of things.  I had an Amazon package being delivered, and I needed a break - I'll be with RQS for almost 2 weeks, and wanted some alone time that I couldn't get when she's around.

Neither of us got moving until noon.  I took my time getting showered and dressed, as I didn't want to rush home.  RQS had to drop off some goods in a donation bin, and then pick up prescriptions at the drug store.  So, I dropped her off at 3:30, and was home before 5.  It was nice to be home, and tomorrow I'll likely book a cruise on NCL that will give me double loyalty points and take care of the "gratuities" as part of the fare.  If I can couple this with another discount, this cruise will be relatively cheap - which is important, as I'll be the one paying for everything.

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I woke up early on Monday, alone in my bed and I'm glad I did - I was about to get some calls from my doctor's office to schedule a test, and then a call from the lab which was to perform the test.  By the time noon came around, I was tired again, and took a nap.

For those of my readers who are unfamiliar with the description of my apartment, the place needs to have windows open in cooler weather, as I get too much heat.  (There is a flaw in my building's design - the central heating core runs through my apartment and the apartment below me.  Being on the top floor, I get extra warmth both from a Southern exposure and from the heating core.)  So, I feel that my nap was triggered by the apartment's warmth. But I digress....

When I felt rested, I got online and booked a cruise, this time solely at my expense.  It was a long delayed treat for RQS.  All she has to do is correct her loyalty awards number, and we both get our credits for this cruise.... 

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Since I'll be too busy over the next couple of days, the next post here will be the start of my latest cruise related entries....   

 

A visit to the doctor (a short post)

 

 

"Doctor" Johnny Fever (From: "WKRP in Cincinatti")

Two weeks ago, my doctor put me on a new medication, and wanted me to come back today to see if it worked. So far, so good.  But now, he drew some more blood for a test to see if other blood levels had changed from my cessation of alcohol consumption.  (We'll find this out over the next couple of days.)  Given how little alcohol I usually drink when on land, I've found my doctor's instructions easy to follow. 

My doctor has been concerned about my weight for years.  And now he's concerned about my liver.  A few years ago, he wanted me to get a liver scan.  I finally scheduled it, and the ultrasound technician didn't understand what my doctor was asking for.  So the scan was never done.  Today, the doctor wanted me to go on a GLP-1 drug to lose weight, and I told him I'd try it if insurance covered it.  He also wanted me to get the liver scan, and I reminded him of my past experience with this.  So I got a new script for this, and told him that I'd want to do the scan when he is in the office, so that if I have this issue again, they can call him for guidance.

Getting old is a bitch, but it's better than the alternative for now....

And now back to our regularly scheduled programming....

 

By the time you read this, Christmas will have passed.  I can't wait for the holiday season to end, as it will allow me to get back to my regularly scheduled activities - such as watching movies NOT related to the holiday.

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I'm writing this post a little over 2 weeks before Christmas.  And a lot will happen between now and then. For example, I will be seeing my doctor for the first time in a few months, and he will likely read me the riot act for not losing weight.  I'll  wear my hair suit, and note that the Zepbound he prescribed is not covered by my drug formulary.  (I'll have to check this out in 2025, as I want to finally do what I've should have been doing all along - live a more healthy life, and lose weight as a byproduct of my actions.  I may need to have a different GLP-1 Agonist drug prescribed for me, so that it is covered by Medicare.)  I'll also be seeing my sleep doctor for the last time before he retires, and get a referral to a new sleep doctor.  (I'll also ask him for a copy of my script, so that I can buy a travel CPAP unit.)

Not all of the things that will be going on in my life will be health related.  For example, RQS and I will be attending a choral performance where one of the singers has been a member of the Yonkers gaming group I belong to.  A week later, we will be seeing Darlene Love in concert again.  She doesn't yet know that I also plan to buy her tickets to a Broadway show that will be performed on the same day that her Boston friend wants her there for a baby shower.  RQS will be very happy that I've made it possible for her to decline the invite, saying that I surprised her with show tickets.

There will be some serious things that must be taken care of.  My co-op is switching to a new management firm, and we have to make sure that we do our part in this transition.  For example, I've already had to sign paperwork to give me signing authority for the co-op, and access to the bank accounts being opened up for us.  We'll soon have our yearly holiday dinner, and that will give us the chance to get to know our new site manager in an informal setting.  Hopefully, they will do a much better job for us than the old firm has done.

Of course, I'll be catching up on my social engagements, such as seeing my friend from the census, as well as attending a meetup or two that will take place before the holiday.  I expect that I'll be quite busy through year end.  Hopefully, I'll be spending most of my time as Marian, and not as Mario.  Christmas Eve dinner will be spent as Marian, and I'm hoping we get an invite, so that New Year's Eve can be spent this way as well.  Keep your fingers crossed....

I did virtually nothing, save walk 3/4 mile.

 

Buying 3 exercise dresses has motivated me to go outside and walk.  Yes, I wonder if people see this T-Gal as just a fat woman trying to stay mobile, or whether they see this T-Gal as a man in a dress.  Given that I'm comfortable going outside as a woman in outfits like the photo above, I do so - and no one seems to be batting an eyelash.

I've found that in order for my face to look more feminine, prop glasses (no corrective lenses) are a must.  If I didn't wear them, people would focus on the parts of my face where I don't want any focus.  (Could facial feminization surgery be in my future?  Only RQS will be able to answer that in a few years.)

Over time, I'd like to find an inexpensive yoga studio near me where I could go as Marian and no one batting an eyelash.  I've come close, but finding a studio has not been at the top of my priority list.  Yet, my goal is to get back to a size 20-22 within a couple of years.  To do that, it'll take diet, exercise and maybe a few shots of a GLP-1 agonist.

Today, I decided to take a walk at George's Island Park.  I've yet to find the official hiking paths there, but I have found a few vantage points from which one can enjoy views of the Hudson River.  It was a little cool for me to be wearing just this exercise dress.  Next time, if it is as cool as it was today, I will bring a jacket I bought from the active wear section of Lane Bryant.

After I left the park, I had a nice conversation with TCL.  And then I called my brother.  I needed to find out the exact spelling of the name my dad used on his passport, so that I can request a copy of his birth certificate.  New York City has to do a manual search on birth certificates which have not yet been digitized, as they are in the middle of indexing the entire physical database of vital records and the year of my dad's birth has not been indexed yet.  

Tomorrow, it will be dinner with a new meetup group.  Wish me luck!