It's hard to believe that it has been 5 years since the above picture was taken. I find it amazing how much I've grown being Marian, and how much I've lost at the same time. No one can turn back the clock and relive the past. Yet, one can learn from it, and see the shades of gray in someone else's arguments. In my case, I've given up hoping that one person will see that I was also wronged in our disagreement, as this would mean she would accept a little blame for herself. And this made me think a little more about FH.
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About a week ago, I was out on a date with FH. She got lost in her own frustrations when I was having troubles paying for parking using the machine which was provided for this purpose. Not caring how I felt, she continued to make comments about the machine when I needed peace and quiet to gather my thoughts and figure out what to do next - before my frustration started to control me. So I asked her to be quiet for a minute, and she said that she'd talk as much as she wanted - as if my issues were of no concern. Eventually, we were told that we could pay at the exit gate (something I didn't know at the time), and we went to my car to go home. In the car, I missed the turn for the exit, and she decided to give me a hard time when I said something to myself. She was obviously angry and looking to make me feel bad. Once we finally exited the lot, she started to make a big deal about things, bringing up the Marian side of me, just to fight dirty in our argument. So I was quite relieved when I dropped her at her apartment, never to see her again.
It seems like some women like doing this to men they no longer want in their lives. Instead of saying that things are not working out, and I don't want to see you near my circle of friends, they sabotage things to make this happen. They also do many other things instead of stating their needs. In the case of FH, this looks orchestrated, as she first made a big deal of me "stalking her" on Facebook (I only left an active chat window open, and never bothered looking at her Facebook page - all she does is post photographs of herself there) when she unfriended me. Even though she apologized, and said that she was loopy from a sleeping pill (I know that the pill was an anti-depressant, as I picked them up at the drug store for her once), she never looked to refriend me there. I wasn't going to make the first move, as I knew something was up. Then, when she asked me to come down on a Friday night and go to dinner where she knew things were crowded and problems would likely occur, this should have been another sign she was up to something. When the argument happened it was no surprise - she simply looked for an excuse to achieve something she was too uncomfortable asking for. She couldn't say that she simply didn't want me around, now that the Covid-19 pandemic restrictions had been eased off.
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There are so many people who can't communicate well. And we're going to see a lot of strange behavior from people now that the pandemic restrictions are easing off. Last night, I made a comment to someone that said simply - I hope you enjoy your evening. And I got back a response that reflected some of the awkwardness I saw in FH. What is it about people who can not see shades of gray? More importantly, what is it about the pandemic that brought out the worst in people?
As things open up, people will struggle to find a new normal. Yes, vaccinated people will continue to wear masks for a while. This will also ease off over time. But what about the anti-vaxxers and anti-maskers? Will they freeload off of our immunizations? Today, I saw this message coming from a person in my gaming group:
I know how kind hearted you both are, but are visitors allowed to ridicule adults who refused to get the vaccine without any rational reason? If this is prohibited, can we at least use "veiled" insults, like, "What's with the mask indoors, Count Maskula?" Or, "Hey, you do know the Earth is round, riiiiiiiight?"
Asking for a rage filled friend who has problems keeping quiet on certain subjects.
I'm vaccinated.
Sincerely,
Xxxxxx Xxxxxx
Although I know this friend is being a little humorous, there is a cynicism implicit in his email. I'm pretty sure that I know who this person is talking about. But I'm going to keep my mouth shut unless someone makes an inappropriate statement, and will criticize the person for coming to a place where only inoculated people are welcome.
Tomorrow, I'll be going out to dinner with Vicki and going to the first indoor HVRW dinner since before the pandemic started. Hopefully, it will be a pleasant night to remember.
PS: On the Monday after I wrote this entry, I received a message from FH. She wanted to say hello and to see how I was doing. I mentioned that I was cleaning out my bedroom so that a contractor could reset an air conditioner sleeve. She complained that we hadn't spoken in a week, and all I could do is talk about my AC. Then, normally, you ask "how are you?" or say "nice to hear from you." Kvetch, Kvetch, Kvetch. I meant what I said about not calling her again.
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