Counting down the days....

 

It's less than a week until we go on our cruise, and I'm getting a little nervous about this trip.  In the past, I'd be concerned about whether I'd get to the cruise terminal on time.  I'd be concerned about whether I'd be able to feel comfortable traveling with someone else in my cabin.  And I'd be concerned whether my travel companion would need too much of me to have a good time on the cruise.  (FCP wanted to see me in the casino occasionally while she gambled, and she gave me a Double Sawbuck ($20) that I ran up to $360 on one trip.  XGFJ wanted me to go swimming with her on the cruise line's private island, while I wanted to sit and read my books.)  This trip, I'll get to see how RQS and I get along, and how much she'll need of me while I try to relax.

This trip makes me a little more nervous than usual.  When I took my last cruise at Christmastime, I was worried that I might contract Covid-19 before the cruise.  The Omicron variant started to spread quickly, and what was supposed to be a maskless cruise changed into one where we were supposed to be wearing masks in all public places, save when one was eating or having a casual drink.  Even though I am vaccinated and double boosted, I still have concerns about having a positive test result.  Given the strange nature of Covid-19, one can be asymptomatic, test positive, and not go on the cruise.  Even worse, I could be symptomatic and have to quarantine at home.

For the most part, I am looking forward to this trip.  There's a part of me that wants to go to DC again, this time as Marian.  (I'd have to bring Mario's clothes with me, as I would likely have to treat her cousin and his wife to dinner - returning the favor they showed us on our last trip.)  Two people I know live in the DC area, and it would be nice to see them again as Marian.  Hopefully, we can do this next year, time and money permitting....

Covid and how it impacted society

 

The other night, I met a friend who told me about how things are going at her job.  Although everything is OK on the surface, there is more going on than anyone would want to admit.  And this got me thinking....

- - - - - -

As of the time I'm writing this entry, we're about 2 years into the pandemic. Although the worst of the pandemic related disruptions are behind us, the ripple effects continue to this day. At the beginning, the government was sponsoring PPP loans to keep people "employed" when there was no economic need for  businesses to employ them. If a business took out this type of loan, it had to meet some strict requirements and then apply for PPP forgiveness of the loan later on.  One problem - no one knew how long the pandemic would last, and many small businesses couldn't afford the risk that they would be able to employ these employees at the end of the loan's term. (This is how I remember things, small business owners may be able to better clarify things here.)  America's "unlivable wage" structure combined with Federal Unemployment Insurance subsidies made it a better deal for many small business employees to leave the workforce and take the time off to develop skills for better paying jobs. In the case of one business I'm acquainted with, the business owner had to lay off it's one employee. The owner of the business was doing double duty for 18 months while the "ex" employee was taking advantage of government largesse - and I can't blame the employee for doing so.  Yet, more people needed this money than not, as they had no jobs to go to (think of restaurant staff) and no way to get new ones.  It made sense for these people to develop skills for new jobs with better wages and more stability.

Over time, things evolved into a "new normal".  Most of us got used to wearing masks in public spaces. Most of us got used to social distancing.  And most of us got used to the safety protocols needed to help slow down the spread of the pandemic.  Many businesses started opening up again, albeit in new ways. Restaurants developed new take-out models, and employed some of their former wait staff as kitchen employees for the duration.  Others created outdoor dining spaces. And still others were allowed to operate indoor facilities with reduced capacity. Yet, many cherished places continued to close, as they could not get enough business to pay their bills.

Eventually, the needed vaccines were developed, and things changed for the better.  Once enough people became vaccinated, we continued our evolution to a "new normal". Many businesses that had shut down due to the pandemic reopened.  In my case, I took my first cruise in 2 years at Christmastime. Yet, I noticed that things were different.  Fewer people were on my cruise than I expected. And this is typical - many people are still afraid of catching the virus, even though they have been vaccinated.  (I can't blame them, as I lost my dad to the virus in the early days of the pandemic.) Yet, with the symptoms of the virus in the vaccinated being much less severe than in the unvaccinated, I see the risks and severity of getting sick as that of catching a non-Covid flu.  Many of us are tired of having to think of the virus, and are finding ways to live our lives again.

And this sets the stage for the continuing ripples of the pandemic.  The friend who discussed her job with me noted that her boss was not in the best financial state.  Year to year holiday sales were still down, as many of his customers were not gathering in large numbers anymore. He was surviving, but slowly hemorrhaging money - especially, as he bought out his former partner just before the pandemic struck. The owner enjoys running his business, but his Covid-19 depressed financials may force him to close the business and put my friend out of work.  Many small businesses are hurting, as they can not generate the revenue to pay workers, or to pay workers enough to stay on their jobs.  Increased demand for workers have caused people to jump to better paying and more secure jobs.  They have learned their lessons from the early days of the pandemic, and do not want to be at risk again from a next pandemic.

- - - - - -

As for me, I've noticed that when I pass through Grand Central Terminal, that many dining venues have closed. Not only do people want to avoid eating at the terminal due to the virus, but people have no places to sit down and enjoy their food. Until recently, the magazine/newspaper stand at Grand Central wasn't open when I was there.  Not enough people were taking the train into NYC to justify keeping the place open.  But now, things are opening up again, and I am looking forward to an excuse to eat at the Oyster Grill again.

Yet, things have changed quite a bit.  Not only do I have to show that I have been vaxxed and boosted before entering a NYC restaurant, museum, or theater, but I have to pull out government id to prove that the vaccination record is mine. It's a small price to pay for "normalcy" in the new normal.  

There is a point where enough people have been vaccinated in society to allow for a herd immunity. Those of us who have been vaccinated paid the small price to allow this to happen.  But most of the unvaccinated people are freeloaders.  Their selfish interests have made it harder to attain this herd immunity.  And with their insistence that they remain unmasked in places where immuno-compromised people may be only helps to make things worse for all of us.  The new normal has shown us that there are a large number of people who don't give a damn about others - and who will hurt society rather than make small sacrifices to improve it.

I could go on and on.  This post was intended to be a short one discussing my friend's job and how Covid-19 affected it.  But things often change when I start writing an entry....

 

 

A visit to the Deli

 

Every morning that I go to work, I have a standing order at a deli I frequent.  It's a simple Bacon & Egg sandwich with a touch of salt and pepper.  And this deli does it well.  So I've never had a complaint about the place, save that its small size cannot handle the volume of customers it receives in the morning rush. However, this post is not about the deli (which is doing everything right).  Instead, it's about one person who came to the deli one day, and how a situation was handled.

As I write this entry, Westchester county expects that people will be masked up in public places.  The deli again has a sign up (since the beginning of Omicron) reminding people that masks are required upon entry to the store. I am usually grabbing a face mask out of my handbag as I approach the front door, and am greeted by staff - all wearing face masks.  Everyone in the place (including police officers from headquarters down the block) are properly masked. So it struck me funny when one woman entered the place.

My first reaction was, "I'll bet that this woman voted for Trump."  She wasn't wearing her mask, and the people behind the counter politely asked her to wear her mask.  This woman took the mask out of her handbag, and held it to her face - a totally useless and worthless gesture, as that would not protect us from virus particles that may come out in her breath.  She continued to hold it there, placing her order, then complaining about needing to wear her mask.  Rather than cause an incident (the policeman having gone back on duty, and no longer on site to help), this woman's order was rushed so that she could be out of the store as quickly as possible.

I am bothered by people who think that they have more rights than others.  There is a selfishness in these people that appalls me.  Getting fully vaccinated and boosted protects me.  But it protects others as well.  And it has been free to me.  Why should it bother me to take 30 minutes out of my life for each of 3 vaccinations, and to wear face masks to prevent the spread of disease?  Young men used to be drafted for military service, and expected to die for their country without enjoying the benefits of living an adult life here.  Is masking up, getting vaxxed and boosted to much to ask of our citizens?  Sadly, for some people, it is too much.  So sad....

One day at a time

 

Right now, it seems as if most intelligent people are participating in a slow motion pandemic shutdown. The roads are less crowded than before I went on my cruise. Businesses are telling their workers that it is OK to work from home for another month or two. And people have again become wary of any activity where they would be in direct or indirect contact with a large number of people.

It seems as if everyone I talk to has come into contact with someone who has been infected by the Omicron variant of Covid-19.  And they are afraid of getting sick - even if fully vaccinated and boosted.  Some vaccinated people have heard horror stories about booster shots going wrong.  Others are sick and tired of the virus, and decided not to bother with the booster.  (My brother is one of these people, and he has gotten infected.  What's worse, he would prefer to get sick than to have been boosted.  Go figure.)  As a result of all this, people are staying home in droves.

This has gotten in my way, as none of the people I might see on weekends are comfortable going to restaurants any longer.  It doesn't help that our local governments are not comfortable instituting capacity limits in public places - they want people to go about their daily business with as few impediments as possible, as they don't want the economy to freeze up again.  So, by not sending a message to be cautious, the people who would be cautious are overcompensating for the lack of informed guidance from our politicians.

As for me, I'm willing to take my chances.  I've been vaccinated and boosted, and am not in the mood to go back to the mindset we had in 2020.  The other day, I chatted with my ex-girlfriend, and she noted that it was almost 2 years ago that everything shut down.  What she didn't recall was that I was trying to get her attention NOT to attend any public events her meetup group was having.  It's amazing that we're seeing similarities in what we're going through now with a time that things were much worse.  It'll be years before people have a "normal" reaction to events - this pandemic has over sensitized people to fearing the risk of illness.  I just wonder what our (great?) grandchildren will be thinking when another pandemic is likely to strike....

Covid and Cruising

 

Today, I read some online journals which noted that NCL was cancelling cruises on 8 of its ships due to uncertainties related to the pandemic.  NCL is not alone, as many ports are refusing to accept ships if there is a hint of Covid on board.  And this is causing many cruisers problems, as at least one cruise was cancelled on the day it was scheduled to sail.  I can only imagine what potential cruisers felt when they arrived in town, and found that their trip was cancelled. 

The act of planning a cruise has taken on new risks.  In the past, all one had to think about was arriving in town a day before a cruise, this would provide adequate margin for delayed flights and allow for cruisers to make it to a cruise terminal on time.  Now, cruisers must test negative for Covid before leaving for the cruise, and hope that they test negative again at the port.  Cruise ports may now refuse to allow a ship to dock, and people may not be able to go on the excursions they wanted when they booked their cruises.

I'm trying to nail down what NCL is doing for its 11 day cruisetour.  If you have to be Covid tested negative within 96 hours of boarding the ship (to ensure that NCL gives you a future cruise credit, instead of forfeiting your cruise payment), then you would need to be tested on Tuesday for a cruise leaving Saturday afternoon.  (Wednesday would be a transit day, and Thursday thru Saturday would be occupied by land touring.)  There is no reasonable way that the average person should gamble $5k/person with this risk factor. So I want to find out what NCL's procedures are for their cruisetours, as this would require a different process from a normal cruise.

At the time I'm writing this, the Pride of America's sailings have been cancelled for the next few weeks due to Covid.  If I book the flights on my own, then I have to work with a travel agent to get things changed/fixed.  But, if I let the cruise line book the air legs of the trip, they are responsible for making sure that my air arrangements are taken care of.  This is a great convenience, considering that several cruises out of Miami, Florida have been cut short.  (Who wants to get stuck in Miami for a week, because a cruise returned to its home port several days early?)  Considering that one woman I cruised with last month has just had two cruises cancelled on her, it's nice to be able to let the cruise line deal with all of the hassles of cancelling flights to and from the destination ports.

Right now, the CDC is recommending that even fully vaccinated and boosted people avoid cruising for the present. If one has already scheduled a cruise, one should see what the line's Covid cancellation policies are, and act accordingly.  As for me, I plan to book my Hawaii cruise now, and hope that things have improved by the time my trip is set to start.

More and More Covid....

 
I received the above message from NCL about my upcoming cruise.  It seems like the Omicron variant of Covid-19 has caused the cruise line to rethink its safety protocols, and determine that we must take a few steps backward to stay safe on board the ship.  As much as I was looking forward to being on a ship without having to wear a mask, I agree with NCL that their first priority must be to keep passengers as safe as possible from the virus.  NCL recommends that passengers take a PCR test before the date of their cruises, and that has been on my list of things to do.  Luckily, CVS offers this service at some of their stores, and it is covered by insurance - for now.  So I know what is needed for me to insure that I am no threat to others who may be cruising with me.

Part of me wishes that I weren't going on this cruise. However, it was a bargain too good to pass up.  At the time I booked my trip, Omicron had yet to rear its ugly head. Now, it's poised to cause more trouble than the Delta variant, as it is more infectious and it can bypass many of the defenses that the vaccines put up to keep us from getting sick if infected.  Yet, if one has been vaccinated and boosted, one will likely be able to avoid a hospital visit - unless one is there for other reasons.  It's the unvaccinated that should give us reasons to be concerned, as hospitals are again being overwhelmed by Covid-19 patients - almost all of them coming from our unvaccinated population.

Shortly after lunch today, our former personnel manager called everyone into a quick meeting.  She told us that two of our workers had been diagnosed with Covid-19, and are quarantining themselves at home.  People working closely with these two people have been told to get tested.  I was not one of those told to get tested, though I got tested anyway.  I figure that it's better to be safe than sorry - especially if one of those two people is my boss....

 

 

 

 

It's hard to believe that the year is almost over.

 

This is not what I think of when I think of a hot dog. But it best illustrates the absurdity that we've been through for the past two years.  We think we know what to ask for.  But when our order comes, something has to have been lost in communication.

- - - - - -

Last year at this time, many of were worried about what could happen to us if we were to risk being in the same room with others not part of our residential units.  Now that most of us have been vaccinated, we're not worried about catching the virus - even though the vaccines do not guarantee that we won't get sick.  Last year, it was if we were being told: "Go directly to Jail.  Do not pass Go.  Do not collect $200."  This year, it seems as we're going directly from "Go" to "Free Parking" and back without any risk.  But there is a big risk that us vaccinated people are ignoring.  We could catch a Covid-19 virus variant against which the vaccines do not protect us.

In 2020, our world seemed to slam on the brakes.  This year, it seems as the world has started up again, but with dirty fuel.  So we're seeing inflation, supply shortages, regionally high unemployment - all in a booming economy.  None of us alive can remember a world that surprises us as much as it does today.  And it's just as well that we don't....

- - - - - -

When I started at my current job, I never thought I'd be here at year end.  And now, I will finally go on the company's health care plan.  This is only a short term thing, as I will be on Medicare by mid year.  Will my costs go down?  Probably not.  But for this gal, I expect that my world will continue to spin faster and faster as things continue to change quicker than any of us are used to....

I'm already thinking of booking another cruise.

 

I miss the world we were in when this picture was taken.  I had met both a pen pal AND a Vegas performer on this trip, and had a great time sailing alone.  This was a growth experience for me, as I was unable to lean on anyone for emotional support.

- - - - - -

The cruise I'll soon be taking will be fun.  But it will not be much "to write home about".  I was totally bored in one of these ports, and didn't bother to tender to the island in the other.  When a cruise line has to tender its guests to a private island instead of using its own dock, bottlenecks will happen.  And on the one time I was at this line's private island, they had a hard time getting on and off the island due to the weather.

If my cruise wasn't visiting Charleston, SC instead of Nassau, Bahamas, I wouldn't have taken it.  Nassau was only worth the stop if one wanted to waste time shopping for overpriced goods.  Port Canaveral was far from anything interesting or reasonably priced.  But Charleston is a more than adequate place to stop, as it has history worth taking in.  (Fort Sumter is the place where many consider our Civil War to have started.)

Unlike the cruise I took 3 years ago, the pandemic will always seem to be present in the background. When I get to the cruise terminal, I will be Covid tested before I get on the ship. Cruise staff will both be vaccinated and masked.  All passengers will also be vaccinated. Even if masking isn't required of passengers, most will likely be wearing them out of habit. It could be worse.  Could you imagine being on a mixed (vaxxed/unvaxxed) cruise and having to mask up at all times, then worry about which areas one can visit and what areas one must avoid?

Yet, the minor headaches of dealing with the pandemic haven't kept me from considering another cruise. Right now, I'm think of booking some sort of Hawaii trip.  But I could change that to an Alaskan trip at a moment's notice.  Until I am ready to make a commitment, I won't put any money down on a vacation.  Instead, I'll be tracking prices and hoping they go down.

Unfortunately, prices don't always go down.  Although the price of the cruise I'm taking dropped by $250 shortly after I booked the cruise, it is now the same price as when I booked it - under a slightly different pricing structure.  And therein lies the problem.  I'm not sure of how I can best perform price arbitraging on either a Hawaii or Alaska cruise.  But I want to do so to get the best price available over the next year.  And I hope I can do this effectively....   

I am disgusted at what America has become

 

Lately, I've been thinking a lot about non-transgender issues.  A former friend triggered some thinking about favors and about interpersonal relationships.  My exhaustion at work has gotten me to think about my own mortality.  The daily news has gotten me to think about the nation America is becoming - and I have gotten disgusted.

The other day, TCL talked about a book club whose meeting she was going to attend.  TCL is much more concerned about the Covid-19 virus than many people, and she would prefer to do things outside with people as long as the weather permits.  The book club leader scheduled an indoor meeting at which she planned to go maskless.  This bothered TCL, so she suggested meeting outdoors, as it was going to be a nice day. When the book club met, all the people save one had been vaccinated. Although the one person didn't give her vaccination status, claiming it was a personal matter, we both think she wanted to hide the fact she didn't get her arm stuck.

It seems that most people in the most heavily vaccinated areas are proud to mention their vaccination status, and it has become an indicator of one's political stance.  Although many Republicans have had their arms stuck, there is a correlation between being unvaccinated and being both a registered Republican and Trump Supporter.  In the case of the book club leader, she comes from a highly Republican part of town.  Luckily, TCL was able to get the library to remind the book club leader that masks were required indoors, and that no exceptions would be made.

The above incident ended in an acceptable way.  No one got hurt, and everyone wore a mask.  But what happens when unvaccinated tourists attempt to go out to eat in a NYC restaurant?  Recently, 3 unvaccinated Texans attempted to do just that at Carmine's and started a fight with the hostess who only did her job - ask to inspect the potential patrons' proofs of vaccination.  The hostess was sent to the hospital, while the 3 Texans only got charged with misdemeanors.  If I were the proprietor of the restaurant, I'd have come out with a baseball bat and stopped the fight with extreme prejudice.  My justification would be simple - I have to protect both my staff and my patrons to the best of my ability. Mind you, I don't think my actions would pass muster with a lawyer.  But they might pass muster with a NYC jury.

We are now a country of two warring tribes.  One gives a damn about what happens to their neighbors, and will make sacrifices to keep them whole.  The other tribe is selfish, and doesn't care about what their actions and policies do to people who don't agree with them.  Luckily, Covid-19 is much more likely to kill an unvaccinated person than a vaccinated person.  Maybe, we'll have proof that Darwinian selection can help with issues like this, and we can again have a nation I can be proud of.

 

 

 

PS: I've heard of an alternate explanation for the incident at the restaurant which puts the Texans in a much different light.  The fight may not have been started by the three women at first, but when their husbands met them at the restaurant.  I'll post more on this incident when I have more information....

 

 

Things can get to a healthy normal, but....

 

Yesterday, I had dinner with a friend who knows me only as Marian, but knows that Mario exists. She is 80 years old, and has had her vaccinations against Covid.  In passing, she mentioned that she has rarely gone out to eat with anyone since the pandemic started, and is masked going everywhere.  So I was very glad that she took the chance to have a bite to eat with me.

Both of us know the risks of being unvaccinated, and are very upset at when is going on in this country.  It doesn't take that much to reach a stage of normalcy - we've had it for a while in the Northeast due to our high rate of vaccination.  But this could end very quickly if a variant were to breach the vaccines' defenses and get most people sick (with symptoms).  At 80, my friend knows she has 10 years or so left to live a healthy life.  But what about me?  My dad lived to 92, and that gives me almost 30 years I should expect to live.

I know that I will eventually have problems getting out and about.  And at that time, I will have some hard decisions to make.

- - - - - -

The other day, I interviewed with the NYS Court System for a position.  Today, I got the rejection latter that I expected.  (Can anyone say "Ageism?")  Luckily, I didn't need the job, and I hope that it goes to someone who can be in that job for more than 5 years or so.

This event frees me up to plan for a Hawaii cruise later in the year.  If people get smart, they will get vaccinated and will wear their masks - and the number of sick people will drop to levels where I will feel safe in taking the cruise.  However, if people keep being stupid, I'll play it safe and book a different cruise when the illness rates are at a level I feel safe in booking a cruise.

- - - - - -

My friend Vicki and I have felt comfortable dining out throughout the pandemic.  When the authorities loosened restrictions enough for us to dine indoors, that's what we did.  But there are people who took unrealistic chances, such as members in one meetup group whose meetings I never attended and never will.  I only wonder how many of these people will feel if they are told to isolate themselves again.  Will they do so?  Frankly, it's hard for me to give much of a damn, as I am not part of the group.  However, what I'll miss is the chance to do things with Vicki.

- - - - - -

Life involves making choices and hoping for the best.  One has to make tradeoffs.  One person I know wants a soul mate to keep her from being lonely.  The woman I dined with last night wouldn't know what to do with a man if one were interested in her - she doesn't want to become anyone's nurse at this stage of her life.  She has chosen to be a complete person without a partner.  She has made some important tradeoffs to do this.  And I think she'll eventually die (hopefully, not for a long time) with few regrets in her life.  Isn't this the type of person that can inspire us to be better versions of ourselves?  I certainly think so.

Things are slowly returning to normal - Game Night in Yonkers

 

This was the first time in 14 months that we met inside on a Thursday night.  And it felt strangely normal.  Since all of us were previously vaccinated, it was nice to hear the hostess tell me to feel welcome to take my mask off - which I did.

- - - - - -

I can't say too much about going to game night, save that most of the regular cast of characters were there for some time, and I hope to see them again soon.  Hopefully, I'll be able to stay longer, as I had to go to work the next day and needed some sleep. 

People are still getting used to a "post Covid-19" future

 

It's hard to believe that it has been 5 years since the above picture was taken.  I find it amazing how much I've grown being Marian, and how much I've lost at the same time.  No one can turn back the clock and relive the past.  Yet, one can learn from it, and see the shades of gray in someone else's arguments.  In my case, I've given up hoping that one person will see that I was also wronged in our disagreement, as this would mean she would accept a little blame for herself.  And this made me think a little more about FH.

- - - - -

About a week ago, I was out on a date with FH.  She got lost in her own frustrations when I was having troubles paying for parking using the machine which was provided for this purpose.  Not caring how I felt, she continued to make comments about the machine when I needed peace and quiet to gather my thoughts and figure out what to do next - before my frustration started to control me.  So I asked her to be quiet for a minute, and she said that she'd talk as much as she wanted - as if my issues were of no concern.  Eventually, we were told that we could pay at the exit gate (something I didn't know at the time), and we went to my car to go home.  In the car, I missed the turn for the exit, and she decided to give me a hard time when I said something to myself. She was obviously angry and looking to make me feel bad.  Once we finally exited the lot, she started to make a big deal about things, bringing up the Marian side of me, just to fight dirty in our argument.  So I was quite relieved when I dropped her at her apartment, never to see her again.

It seems like some women like doing this to men they no longer want in their lives.  Instead of saying that things are not working out, and I don't want to see you near my circle of friends, they sabotage things to make this happen.  They also do many other things instead of stating their needs.  In the case of FH, this looks orchestrated, as she first made a big deal of me "stalking her" on Facebook (I only left an active chat window open, and never bothered looking at her Facebook page - all she does is post photographs of herself there) when she unfriended me.  Even though she apologized, and said that she was loopy from a sleeping pill (I know that the pill was an anti-depressant, as I picked them up at the drug store for her once), she never looked to refriend me there.  I wasn't going to make the first move, as I knew something was up.  Then, when she asked me to come down on a Friday night and go to dinner where she knew things were crowded and problems would likely occur, this should have been another sign she was up to something.  When the argument happened it was no surprise - she simply looked for an excuse to achieve something she was too uncomfortable asking for.  She couldn't say that she simply didn't want me around, now that the Covid-19 pandemic restrictions had been eased off.

- - - - - -

There are so many people who can't communicate well.  And we're going to see a lot of strange behavior from people now that the pandemic restrictions are easing off.  Last night, I made a comment to someone that said simply - I hope you enjoy your evening.  And I got back a response that reflected some of the awkwardness I saw in FH.  What is it about people who can not see shades of gray?  More importantly, what is it about the pandemic that brought out the worst in people?

As things open up, people will struggle to find a new normal. Yes, vaccinated people will continue to wear masks for a while. This will also ease off over time. But what about the anti-vaxxers and anti-maskers? Will they freeload off of our immunizations? Today, I saw this message coming from a person in my gaming group:

I know how kind hearted you both are, but are visitors allowed to ridicule adults who refused to get the vaccine without any rational reason?  If this is prohibited, can we at least use "veiled" insults, like, "What's with the mask indoors, Count Maskula?" Or, "Hey, you do know the Earth is round, riiiiiiiight?"

Asking for a rage filled friend who has problems keeping quiet on certain subjects.

I'm vaccinated.

Sincerely,

Xxxxxx Xxxxxx

Although I know this friend is being a little humorous, there is a cynicism implicit in his email.  I'm pretty sure that I know who this person is talking about.  But I'm going to keep my mouth shut unless someone makes an inappropriate statement, and will criticize the person for coming to a place where only inoculated people are welcome.

Tomorrow, I'll be going out to dinner with Vicki and going to the first indoor HVRW dinner since before the pandemic started.  Hopefully, it will be a pleasant night to remember.

PS: On the Monday after I wrote this entry, I received a message from FH. She wanted to say hello and to see how I was doing.  I mentioned that I was cleaning out my bedroom so that a contractor could reset an air conditioner sleeve.  She complained that we hadn't spoken in a week, and all I could do is talk about my AC.  Then, normally, you ask "how are you?" or say "nice to hear from you."  Kvetch, Kvetch, Kvetch.  I meant what I said about not calling her again.

My arm was stuck again, and I'm feeling great ...so far

 

There is no way I'm going to post MY vaccination card online.  A completed card (unlike the one in the above photo) will note who gave you the shot, when the shot was given, which vaccine was used for the shot, and which lot number the shot came from.  In my case, I have given two doses of the Pfizer vaccine that were given at the Yonkers Armory, 3 weeks apart.  Soon, I'll be able to meet with some friends (already vaccinated) that I haven't seen in way too many months.

But first, I have to deal with going to work every morning, when I don't really want to get out of bed....  

 

Today started with me waking up later than usual.  I had told my boss that I'd be coming in after I'd been vaccinated, and this allowed me the luxury of getting up late.  And getting up at 8:30, instead of 6:00, was a great pleasure.  With a leisurely cup of coffee, I scanned my email and renewed my prescriptions.  

Instead of going to the office then going to get vaccinated, I took it easy and went straight to the vaccination site.  However, I was running a few minutes later than planned, so I decided to pick up something on the way to the office.  Unlike 3 weeks ago, I took the exact route that Google Maps' Navigation suggested.  But I knew that the return trip would be on a different route.  First, there was a lot of construction on the way down, and I didn't want to hit those traffic jams.  Second, I planned to pick up food at a local Mickey D's.  That didn't go as planned.  Instead, I ended up going to a Dunkin' Donuts for a totally forgettable breakfast sandwich.  At least, I got to work only 5 minutes later than planned.

After work, I stopped off at Target for a while, then went to Boston Market to pick up a "Buy One, Get One Free" dinner.  While on the way, TCL looked up the specifics of the offer - it applied only to Chicken based dinners.  Even then, they were still making a slight profit selling a whole chicken (2 half chicken dinners), with 2 sides for each dinner.

Arriving home, one of my neighbors called me looking to get in contact with the president of the co-op.  I don't know what she wanted, but I don't want her talking about me.  (I often forget to put my mask on upon entering a common space when getting home.)  Since our president has private phone numbers, I will not give them out.  Nor will I pass on the message.  Any complaints this woman has can go through our managing agent's site representative.

- - - - - -

Tomorrow is a day where I'm expected to show up at 8:00 am.  If I feel good, I'll go in.  If not, I'll take a needed rest....

Some more odds and ends, starting with Picasso's Last Words.

 

I decided to open this post with lines from McCartney's "Picasso's Last Words" because they fit the way I felt as I was getting out of bed this morning.

The grand old painter died last night
His paintings on the wall
Before he went he bade us well
And said goodnight to us all.

 
Drink to me, drink to my health
You know I can't drink any more
Drink to me, drink to my health
You know I can't drink any more

 

The reason for this clip was that a good friend of mine, WDS, struggled to write the email below:

I have not taken the vaccine; there seems to some kind of delay.

I had a stroke with two hemorrhages in the left side of my brain one week ago and spent three days in ICU. My right hand is numb often. The right side of my tongue is numb all the time. I lost half my vocabulary. To spell correctly, I must look up almost every word. Sometimes, I lose the ability to speak; when that happens, I can't pronounce any words, and I can't think of any words. Nuance is now gone. I have lost my appetite; last week, I lost 10 lb. I sure that I have lost more this week because my clothes are now too loose.

I do not know how much longer I will remain alive, but as my body shuts down, I think death is close to me.

I use a lot of time when I write replies. This one took me 25 minutes to assemble.

Sadly, I do not have either his phone number or snail mail address.  At the time I write this, I have no idea of how to respond to him.  Should I volunteer to drive to Florida to see him one last time?  Should I try to get a snail mail address and a phone number to be able to reach him by traditional means?  I don't know what to do, and I was bothered by this while at work today.

- - - - - -

Last night, I decided to do something I usually don't like doing - cook.  I decided to cook something extremely simple, yet a little labor intensive: Cook home made potato chips.  It's a bit of a pain, as I had to peel the potatoes, slice them paper thin (next time, I'll use a mandoline for this), then fry them in small batches until golden brown.  The problem - I decided to do this at 10:30 at night.  Although I had mixed results, I enjoyed the few chips I ate.

- - - - - -

 

The other day, I wrote something to XGFJ.  She misunderstood what I meant, and thought I might be taking a dig at her.  (I wasn't.)  However, I thought of the following witty reply which I didn't send:

 

If I were taking a dig at you, you'd have seen the shovel.

 

Obviously, this would likely have been misinterpreted in the moment.  (Later on, I mentioned this in the Zoom meeting with my Texas friends.  They laughed, as I would expect....)

But seriously....  When I think of XGFJ, I only would like to have her as an activity partner friend.  Dollars to donuts this won't happen because of her fear of seeing me and having her feelings for me kick in.  I liked her, but could never trust her enough anymore to risk a romantic relationship.  Any person who'd threaten to "out" someone to a person's 92 y/o father can not be trusted with things one confides in an intimate partner.   

Years ago, XGFJ used to ask me, "Do you have any complaints about me?"  In retrospect, I now do.  But will never bother to tell her this.  She never trusted me enough to be herself when we had a relationship.  She repressed enough of herself to have me around, that I never could help her with her needs.  Hopefully, this won't be the case in any future relationship she may have. 

 

- - - - - - 

This weekend, FH and I are going to try and make it to the restaurant we planned to go to last week.  I hope this happens.  It'll be nice to have a nice unhurried meal with her.

- - - - - -

Back to my friend, WDS....  I figured that I'd ask a couple of friends for advice on what to say to him.  I feel that I have to say something, but what?  I missed the opportunity to say goodbye to one friend sometime in the past few months.  At least, with WDS, I have the chance to say goodbye.  It's just figuring out how best to do it.

Speaking with TCL, it took me a while to get a chance to speak - and then she listened attentively.  But when I called Vicki, she ran off trying to tell me a lot of things and not thinking that I simply needed someone to listen to me while I think much of this out myself.  I guess that I'll have to interrupt Vicki and TCL more often, simply to get them to listen instead of talk.

In the end, I sent the following email:

Your news came as a shock to me, and I have some questions. Please take your time to answer them, as you need the energy to focus on your recovery.

1. What do the doctors say about recovery?
2. Where are you staying now? A Care Facility? Home?
   Can you give me an address and a phone number? Someone I can contact?
3. Would you like for me to come down for a few days?
   

I don't really want to go to Florida at the last moment. I will do so for WDS, as he was there for me when I needed him most. What are friends for? And this leads me back to a quick mention of XGFJ. Would she have done the same for me when we were a couple? I doubt it. I'm glad I didn't count on her when I was supposed to go for a colonoscopy last year. Even though she said she'd help me after we broke up, I doubt she would have kept her commitment once our dispute started. Over time, one learns who one's real friends are and who they aren't. In my case, I've learned a lot about the quality of people by how they manage their lives. If the worst happens to WDS, I will miss someone who I could trust with my life.

 

 

 

Things are starting to open up again - somewhere.

 

Last night, I found that my friends in Texas were about to have their first in-person meeting in a while.  Sadly, this means that our Zoom Meetups will likely be ending soon.  That saddens me, as I see this happening in New York as well, and I've been blackballed from a group that I would have liked to attend in either of my modes.  Such is life.

Eventually, other venues will open up as well.  I can't dwell on the past, as it is long gone.  There are things that I'd do differently if I had the chance to do a "redo" on 2020.   But that's not realistic.  When I asked a question of the ex, "what would she do differently?", she avoided answering the question.  I can only infer only one thing from her actions of last year: she didn't want to deal with me in either presentation at a meetup group), and didn't care about how she accomplished this.  She could have gotten what she really wanted with less pain had she been willing to communicatet and negotiate, but that' didn't happen.  Her "nastygram" on the morning of my birthday showed her real self -  someone who doesn't worry about the degree of pain she inflicts on others when she's pursuing a goal of her own.  (I know she will think differently from me on this.  Last year's dispute was proof that she wanted me as far away from her group(s) as possible and didn't care how she'd keep me away.)

But enough about the ex.  I've given her way too much headspace lately. There are other, more important things I'm concerned with right now - such as getting vaccinated against Covid-19.  Now that things have opened up even more, I figure that I'll try to score an earlier appointment than what I have now.  I want to be "fully protected" before summer comes.  Of course, I have taxes to file, and it looks like last year's withholding game plan worked - over withhold by 10%, and that should cover progressive taxes on income from sources other than the census.  So I'll do the same for this years income from the new job, and withhold taxes with the assumption that I'll be there until year end.

I still have a big vacation to plan.  However, to take it means that I will likely have to leave my job, or accept unpaid time off.  (I'd accept the latter option if I could get it.)  You'll note that I've made the assumption that I'll remain on this job until then.   But any job I can joke about in the way I do is likely to be too mind numbing to stay there too long.  I need something that occupies my mind, and only so much vacation planning can be done in my head at work.

At least one good thing has happened so far due to the loosening of pandemic restrictions. I have been able to schedule a get together with the new friend I made at the Zoom Meetup the other day.  She only knows me as Marian, and that's how I intend to keep it for now.

 

Hump Day - If people didn't, we wouldn't.

This is not my current ID card.  There's a part of me that still wishes I had the nursing home receptionist gig.  It didn't pay as well as I'm being paid now, but I had more of a chance to socialize with people.  And that's one of the reasons this trans woman wants to be in the workforce.

- - - - - - 

Recently, Rhonda posted an entry on her blog about her life as a transgender person.  Like Rhonda, I feel that my body defines me less as a woman than the social life I want to lead.  (Read her post - I think you'll enjoy it..) When people don't know that I am transgender, they usually take me for a cisgender woman.  And that's the way I like it when presenting as a female.

When I got home from work today, I tried to reach a couple of friends who were not able to talk when I called.  So I tried reaching out to my new friend in NYC from the other night, and we had a great chat.  Hopefully, we'll be able to meet soon, now that the pandemic is starting to wane and it is slowly becoming safe to meet people in person at restaurants again.  Given that my new friend is 77 years old and has had both of her vaccinations, it's no risk to her if we meet.  So I may just schedule something for sometime soon....

Sadly, our chat had to end when my Wednesday night zoom games meetup started - and that lasted a little longer than usual.  It was a small group tonight, and we had fun.  Hopefully, we'll have more people next week....

I skipped out on one meetup to go to another, and found a friend.

 

First, I have to start out by mentioning that I was thinking of my ex girlfriend today.  My thought process brought me to think that everything about her and her dealings with me reflected an inner ambivalence that only she can resolve for herself.  My issue is that I should pay more attention to "The Dude", and less to people who have no clue about what has gone on in my life over the past couple of years.

- - - - - -

After work, I was supposed to drive out to Norwalk to meet with the Fun Time Friends.  Given that I'm a little bit low on cash, I figured that I'd bail out on this dinner.  Instead, I went home to join in a Zoom meetup geared to help a new firm sell its self improvement courses.

Before the zoom meetup started, I called YGM to say hello.  We hadn't chatted in a long while, and she's happy ensconced in Florida. However, I think she believes the governor's BS that people are flocking to that state because it never fully shut down for the pandemic.  There is an advantage in being young and healthy enough to consider catching the virus an acceptable medical risk.  As for me, I take the risk, but can't wait until I can get vaccinated.

There were about 50 of us in the meetup, and the skills covered in the session were valuable - especially if exercised early and often.  Most importantly, I may have found a new friend from Manhattan.  Like me, she was laid off after a long career - and we exchanged phone numbers.  Hopefully, the two of us ladies can get together soon and get to know each other better.

- - - - - -

I could talk about missing a phone call with TCL.  But the two of us will catch up on things tomorrow.  I could talk about tomorrow's co-op board meeting.  But I can't talk about any of the substance, so this would be boring.  And I could talk about Vicki and her being too busy to chat.  But we can catch up on things tomorrow.  About the only thing I will mention that my friend Vanessa's skin cancer was successfully removed, and that the plastic surgeon will be monitoring her care until the grafts on her foot have healed.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The mess that is Covid-19 Vaccination.

 

This is a picture taken from inside the Covid vaccination site in Yonkers.  Although it just opened up for any qualified New York State resident to make a vaccination appointment, there are no slots open anymore. Now that we have the vaccines to stop the virus, we do not have a unified system in any state which allows qualified people to do efficient "one stop shopping" for a vaccination site.  This is inexcusable.  Each of the 50 states (plus DC and other US territories) could have hired Google, Microsoft or Amazon to design a site which would make the headache of getting a vaccination appointment as easy as the vaccination itself.

Most people had no problem with "essential workers" getting "first dibs" on vaccinations.  Doctors, nurses, and other health care professionals on the front line deserve to be first on line for the shots.  Hardly anyone had problems with infirm residents of nursing homes getting a high priority for their vaccinations.  But once it came to the general public, both seniors (65+) and people with comorbidities (Diabetes, Hypertension, COPD, etc.) things started getting screwed up.

In New York, we have a state run web site for mass vaccination centers run by the state. New York City has its own site.  And drug stores (and drug store chains) have their own appointment scheduling systems.  In some cases, people are calling health care facilities directly to find out if they are giving shots to specific classes of people.  Total confusion reigns here.  I know one person from a Northern NYC exurb who drove to the South Bronx for her shot - after being given a phone number to call.  It's partially what technology one has access to and who you know that determines when (or if) you will get vaccinated before Summer begins.  And we have it good in New York.  Many other states have it worse!

It could be much worse than to be in New York.  Florida's governor has used his powers to distribute the vaccine to take care of white suburban voters who are likely to vote for Republicans in the next election.  Texas is "reopening" way too early, and will likely trigger a new "super spreader" event once the last of the Covid restrictions are lifted. The "Red States" acted as if the virus wouldn't harm them, and they have some of the highest viral transmission rates in the nation, if not the world. It would make much more sense to vaccinate as large as possible a group of people before starting a slow reopening.  But then, these states largely voted for Trump - and they, like lemmings, will march off a cliff if led there by a foolish leader.

Right now, I have a vaccination appointment scheduled for next month.  If I can, I will try to get an earlier appointment, so I can can socialize in safety by the beginning of Summer.  Hopefully, all of my readers will be able to do the same.

A year ago, things were so different.....

 

A year ago, things were very different than they are now.  For example, in the back of my mind I still had hope of getting together again with my ex girlfriend.  Today, I'd have to think long, hard, and carefully if that option were to present itself to me.  But that's the least of things I can mention today. My father was still alive, and I had no idea that he'd be one of the over 400,000 (and counting) Americans who'd die of the coronavirus over the next 12 months.

Both as individuals and as a culture, we would have to ask questions posed by a once popular song:

Can it be that it was all so simple then?
Or has time re-written every line?
If we had the chance to do it all again
Tell me, would we?
Could we?

Most of us thought that the good times we experienced prior to 2020 would last forever.  As the virus taught us, they were only fleeting things.  

- - - - - -

I spent most of 2020 employed at the census as Marian.  Recently, I applied for and accepted a job, working as Marian again.  Although this would have been a job better suited for Mario, I figured that I wanted to see how I would do in private industry without the official protections of a government bureaucracy.  Is this the job I really wanted?  No.  But it will have to do when there are 75 people (or more, in many cases) applying for jobs in both public and private sectors.

If things had progressed as most of us had expected, most of us would have gone on our usual vacations, not really noticing what they did for us as people.  Now that we've been largely isolated from others for a year, many of us feel it's time to get out in the world again, even if we are taking big risks in doing so.  I look forward to taking my Hawaiian cruise when cruising opens up again.  But I will not give the cruise lines a penny more than I have to for their products.

Travel and work are not the only things affected by the pandemic. Our nation's political future was affected as well.  Many of us gave our former present better than an even chance of being reelected because of the then "booming" economy.  The pandemic put an end to that, as the then president made light of the virus when people were more concerned about their lives than whether they had jobs or not.  How many of you think that our current president could have won the election if things were as they were in 2019?  I certainly don't think he'd have had much of a chance, as people usually vote with their wallets.  This time, they voted as if their lives depended on their votes - which they did.

 

- - - - - - 

2021 looks like it will be a better year for many of us.  Hard-line Evangelical "Christians"  are no longer able to use the federal government as a tool to attack transgender people.  We are on target to see most Americans have access to a Coronavirus vaccine shot by some time this summer. And we will soon be able to resume outdoor socialization when Spring comes.  We will be entering a time where a "New Normal" is evolving, a period where growth starts anew for both individuals and for society as a whole.  I look forward to this future.

 

I just don't want to get hurt again

 

In the above picture, I am very happy being out and about in the world as Marian.  It is something I don't plan to give up.  But I am willing to negotiate how much time I spend in this presentation - if I'm with the right partner.

- - - - - -

Looking at romance, I don't want to get hurt again, or to hurt someone else.  In my case, I have to be careful how much I open the door to communicating with the ex girlfriend, as I could fall for her again without a chance of her doing the same with me.  And both of us would need to be very sure of ourselves before taking another chance at anything other than friendship.  Making things more complex for me is my relationship with FH.  Is it a romance or a friendship?  It could be either one with her, and not something I want to risk at this time. (I'm pretty sure that it is a relationship that will end when the pandemic does, based on the evidence I have.)  But without anyone sharing my bed in a while, it makes sense for me to keep all options open for now.

When I woke up today, it was with the help of an alarm on my phone.  And I had forgotten that I had an appointment with Vanessa to help her with setting up Google Ads to promote her web site.  So I was very glad that she called to confirm things early on.  This allowed me to schedule my laundry runs properly, as I didn't want to go into my new office wearing dirty clothes.

Around 3:30, I made it out of the house and started my trip up to Dover Plains to see Vanessa.  And  I was glad that I started when I did, as I ended up having to fill up my car along the way.  (Who wants to look for gas in a rural area when it's dark outside?)  I made it up to her place around 5:15, and we got started on trying to find the right phrases and keywords to bring people to her site.  By the time 7:30 came around, we were both fried.  So I bid her an adieu around 8:30, and started my drive home.

- - - - - -

Now, I have to shift to a new topic at this point.  Earlier in the day, I was trying to make my first vaccination appointment for Covid-19.  One problem - New York's website was overloaded with people trying to make their appointments, and a flaw in the site was displaying possible appointments without preserving their availability for when one was selected.  As a result, there was a lot of needless back and forth in the application, where people like me were selecting an appointment time, and then being told that the appointment wasn't available.  I figured that I'd try to get an appointment later in the evening.

While at Vanessa's one of her clan was also trying to get an appointment.  Using the NYS hotline, she was able to score an appointment for tomorrow morning.  One problem - Metro North was not running a normal schedule, and this member of Vanessa's clan has to take an Uber to get to Westchester for the vaccination.  At least she has an early appointment.  When I got home, I used the NYS website again, and was finally able to score an appointment for early April in Queens.  AARGH!   This will give me one benefit - I'll be able to tell my boss that I need the day off to get my shot.

- - - - - -

Sooner or later, my life will return to a new normal.  Whatever that normal is, I don't know.  But I'm in a better place now than I was at this time last year.