There are many trans people who get lost in the pink fog, and rush into things needlessly. Yes, they have new found freedom in being able to express their authentic selves. But they often forget that the real world usually doesn't care whether a person is trans or not. As a result, many things slip while a trans person explores her/his new place in the world. Eventually, the trans person and reality have to get back in sync with each other, and the mundane things in life take over. This is not a bad thing. A successful transition will enable one to experience the mundane as one's authentic self.
As my loyal readers will note, many of the entries I've posted in this blog are not those where going out in the world is a novel experience, as they were in my previous blog. Instead, my current entries are those which deal with the issues I face in life - either as a male or female. Many of them have unusual twists, such as my travels while presenting as a female and carrying male ID. Yet, I try to say things that might be of interest to the trans person just coming out. It takes a lot of courage for many trans people to out themselves. And for many, they are unable to be completely out because of their real life commitments. For example, one trans woman I know is a doctor whose wife accepts her presenting as a female, as long as she doesn't go 24x7. (There are issues with both her career and her family that get in the way of being out to the world.) Another trans woman I know outed herself, and lost contact with many in her family. Trans people often lose family, friends and careers in order to be their authentic selves, so I encourage trans people considering outing themselves to think things through and be careful when they do so.
At my stage of being trans, I exist in a happy medium. Since I am not very gender dysphoric, I can live in either gender as needed. But I must revert to being Marian for my sanity. I am comfortable staying at this point in the transition process for romance, unlike many trans folk. And in this way, I am lucky, as I have someone who accepts me for who and what I am now. Others are not so lucky. Recently, I found out that one trans woman I know reverted to her male identity for romance, and has recently returned to a female identity. (Did romance influence either or both changes?)
One thing I wish I could change more effectively is my voice - it is still picked up as being male on the phone. And this is something that many M2F trans people have to deal with. A trans acquaintance of mine had surgery to raise the pitch of her voice. But she is still perceived as a male over the phone, as her speech patterns still have a masculine imprint. It takes a lot of work to develop female vocal mannerisms, but it doesn't get in the way for most of us in our lives.
So now, we end up dealing with the mundane. I still have to pay my bills throughout the month. I still have doctors' appointments for our ailments (as I will have a week from today for a GI Tract issue). And I still need to take care of the everyday tasks of life, such as laundry. Most of the time, a trans person's life will be mundane, as other than our gender dysphoria, we are living everyday lives. Even when something "exciting" happens (such as having a wallet stolen in Chicago), I do what I would be doing as if I were simply a cisgender person, and am treated the same as if I were just a cisgender person. The only difference is that I have to be on the watch out for people who hate trans people because we don't fit into their view of the world. And that's a small price I pay for being my authentic self.....
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