One thing I tell most newly "out" transgender people (or, those who are thinking of coming "out") is that living as one's true gender does not erase any problem one is having. If one is having family problems, living authentically may only make things worse. (In the case of one TG woman I know, living an authentic life forced her into poverty, and put walls up between her and her family.) But what should a TG person do? Should one live a lie, and preserve a family and a career? Or, should one make the decision to be authentic, and risk losing many of the things we value most?
As readers of this (and my previous) blog know, I lost a love (in part) because of my transgender nature. I also found out what a former friend really thought of me, with her words of anger. At least, I know that my immediate family and close friends would have stood by me had the ex carried through on her threats. But should anyone have to risk things like this?
Many of us worry about our jobs, as a large number of TG people live in states where we are not protected (or actually harmed) by law. One inactive blogger I know lives in one of these states. Although her family knows that she travels en-femme, she would have little protection in her state if her management took a dislike to her for this reason. Because of this, she is careful when she comes out of the closet.
But what happens when one has paid the price to live an authentic life?
To answer the above question, I feel that the answer is best answered by the phrase: "It Depends." In my case, I still have my foot in both the masculine and feminine worlds. It's a trade off I'm willing to make to have a romantic life with a good woman. I live on a pension, soon to be supplemented by income from social security and a 401k. Yet, if things were different when I was much younger, I'd have rather lived as Marian for most of my adult life.
Now that I'm able to go out and about, my life has grown rather mundane. I don't have that much to talk about at times - just like a "normal" cisgender person. I still remember my former cruise partner getting mad because I mentioned too much about her life in my former blog. Sadly, parts of her life were like a soap opera, and it was hard to keep on the correct side of the blogging line. So, I'm much more careful in writing this blog, knowing that I might bore people from time to time with the mundane details of my life.
So what will I be writing about in the future?
Although I will continue to write about my mundane life, I will also be writing about my travels. Some of these travels will be as Marian. And other travels will be as Mario. Hopefully, I will be able to continue my travels to more and more places and provide my readers with interesting stories based on my adventures along the way.
