The other day, RQS sent me some links to various "meetup" sites whose purposes are simply to enable people to make new social connections. A couple of these sites were geared for females to make social connections. So, I asked RQS how passable I am, and she noted that there are some telltales that I am TG. In short, I am not 100% passing, but that's OK for most purposes - just not for all.
It's hard for people to see reality these days, much be comfortable with reality. We live in an age where the people we once could count on to tell us things resembling truthful opinions now tell us lies we want to hear. We have a president who is a pathological liar, and who is totally disconnected from reality. We are in a war that no one wanted, save for two people: Bibi Netanyahu and Donald Trump. And now, Trump is telling lies which conflict with themselves: "We have won the war with Iran." and "We need more money to win the war with Iran." Where is our objective reality here? Trump is the leader of an American cult which, unfortunately, has taken control of our government. At a macro level, much of America is stuck living in a fantasy world. But what about us as individuals?
As an individual living in a society which has become untethered from reality, I find it harder to maintain a solid connection to reality. First, I need to find objective information about myself and the world I live in. As a TG, I need to know many things: How well do I present? What can I do to improve my presentation? Where can I travel safely in my preferred presentation? How do I keep informed of significant events that could affect me? Second, I need to make reasonable decisions based on the information I gather. In the case of travel, I have to be absolutely sure of how well I pass, as I could be committing a felony in some states. (I was in one Southern state where I had to go to the loo and relieve myself while presenting as Marian. Technically, I committed a felony just by needing to take a bio-break. Luckily, no one cared where I was.) Even worse, I can't visit many countries as Marian, as my assumed gender preference would be considered illegal and punishable under their laws. (We're seeing that in some American states today.) I have to be sensitive to the fact that we now have a federal government hostile to TGs and the rest of the LGBT community. So, I am glad that I sent information to a nation where a grandparent came from, so that I have an exit route available in advance.
One TG individual I know has been corrupted by the media she consumes. Although she has lost the desire to get her passport renewed in her identified gender due to Trump's executive order, she still refers to his political enemies by the childish names he uses for those people. Yet, she can't identify why these people are bad. She sees the word "Socialist" and identifies all evil to this word and those who identify with it. Yet, she can't identify what is bad about the word itself. Even though she's unhappy with the cult leader, she still identifies with the values of the cult - even when the cult would treat her like crap. This transgender woman is not alone in her fantasy views of identity. Another transgender woman I met belonged to a conservative religious denomination. When she moved to upstate NY, she went to attend another church of that sect. The pastor said that she shouldn't attend again because she was TG. Her identity conflicted with what others saw that her identity should be, We all can make similar mistakes. This is why we need to always seek objective reality, instead of seeking to feel comfortable living within our fantasies.
