I never used a debit card, and see where that got me.

 

As I've mentioned before, my brother and I own a rental property on Long Island.  After several years of renting the house to tenants, we made the decision to replace the washer and dryer as we refresh the place for our next set of tenants.  Today, I would have bought the above laundry set, save that the debit card for the joint account had expired.

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I was originally scheduled to meet RO for lunch today.  However, her sister is having health problems, and she must help her sister out in time of need.  But where did this leave me?  I now had a free day where I could order a washer/dryer combination and schedule delivery for a time convenient for me to be in Long Island.  So, I decided to get dressed as Mario and drive to Yonkers.

Once in Yonkers, I made sure to check whether there would be any problems with the card, as both ATM cards could be connected to both my personal and our joint account.  (I wanted 2 cards, so that my personal card would always link to my personal checking account, and that the "business" card would always link to the joint account.)  Well, when I went to the ATM, I found that the business card had expired.  Since I wasn't going to use my personal account for the transaction, I called my brother and told him about this glitch, and said that I'd send him the information about the washer/dryer that he now had to buy.

Since I no longer had to go into the appliance store, I figured that I'd go to the cell phone store and pick up some swag they were giving away.  Unlike past swag offers, they were not giving away this item at all of their stores.  I just got lucky and got mine at the store in Yonkers that was near the bank.  And then, I was on my way home for the night.

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Having arrived home, I rested for a while before opening the co-op board meeting.  It's now a pleasure to have meetings that last only 2 hours.  However, we still have a lot of problems to deal with, as we're still dealing with the fallout from our prior managing agent's mismanagement of things.  While on this zoom meeting, I received a message from DCD's ex girlfriend. (I'll call her NDC for now.)   His tumor has returned - bigger than ever.  So, I ended up chatting with her for an hour or so, and found out more details about his life.  His mom bailed out his car, but kicked him out of the house.  Now, he mostly lives out of his car, going to his ex's house to wash and clean up.  This has put some stress into her relationship with her current boyfriend.  She effectively has a grown up stray that needs taking care of, and she (with current boyfriend) have set boundaries for taking care of this stray.  Hopefully, when he goes into the hospital for his next surgery and for chemo, they will be stuck with the responsibility of finding a hospice for him to spend his final days.

While we're talking about DCD, I have to mention that NDC emailed DCD's mom to tell her about DCD's health concerns.  NDC feels that almost everyone in DCD's family orbit is a little F'd up to say the least.  His mom has a room which was prepared for her late husband to spend his final days, and won't let DCD stay there for his final days.  DCD's kids know that he's not long for this world, yet they won't renew contact with him.  (NDC has no idea of why DCD's kids hate him, but we think it's because of DCD's ex wife poisoning the well of affection between them.)  DCD's ex wife may have felt that she could have found a better man, and her resentment could have been the root cause of their divorce.  Strangely enough, DCD's ex was the only person in his current and former family to show an inkling of caring for each other.

When DCD dies, and I expect it to happen this year, I will attend the funeral (if I'm not on a cruise) in female presentation. NDC has only seen me as Marian, though she knows I'm transgender.  DCD's family will not remember me, much less realize anything is amiss.  It'll be a sad day, but it'll be the least I can do to pay my respects.

Frustrations with tax preparation

 

I got myself into this by retaining the financial tie that bound me to my brother - the old family homestead. Now, I have to get the paperwork regarding this property before the new accountant can start work.  AARGH!  This kept me up over the weekend, and my brother's unavailability is causing me grief.

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The other day, I dropped off paperwork with the accountant and was told that I didn't supply all the information needed.  Well, part of this was an oversight on my part.  And part of this was simply being in a rush.  Either way, I have to get things done within a month.

Now, my brother can and will make himself unavailable when he doesn't want to address an issue.  He does this with my sister in law, so that he can avoid the arguments that can and will come with a wife who is not always in control of her life.  I think he's making himself unavailable to me, as he knows that he didn't give me enough documentation so that I can go to a new accountant.

- - - - - -

My brother has always been a frustration to me.  As a younger child, he was coddled (as typical for younger children) and treated more leniently than I was.  (In his teenage years, he became a terror.) We were always at loggerheads, as he was trying to find his way in the world.  As an adult, he has taken on a lot of responsibility, maybe too much for me to depend on him for much.  He took on responsibility for looking after my dad in his final years, since he lived 5 minutes away from my brother.  And now, he takes care of the paperwork on the family homestead.

Although owning the house and keeping it as a rental provides me with some benefits, I'd rather not have this headache to deal with.  I don't really understand what my brother is doing, and I know that if he were to die before me, I wouldn't know what to do.  After this year's frustration, I think I will tell him that I want out of this partnership, as I don't feel in control of important things in my life anymore.  And I need that feeling of control.  The big question is - how to get this point across to him and preserve the family relationship between us?

Doing business with a new Tax Person.

 

I'm frustrated over a series of events.  For the past 40 years, I have been using the same tax preparer.  This winter, she announced her retirement.  And now, I had to hustle to find someone new.  So, I ended up reaching out to a transgender CPA I know, and was awakened to a hard fact - I've had it very easy over the past few years. Without mentioning this CPA's name, I know that she follows all the rules.  And that's a good thing for me.  I don't intend to break the law just to save a few pennies.  Privately, I will give this person's name out and make a recommendation - as I did for RQS.

Most of the information this new tax person is requesting is something my brother and I should have at hand.  Given that my brother is the financial expert in the family, I always took what he gave me and handed it to my old tax person.  Now, I have to provide more information, and have my brother explain what's going on.  I'm not looking forward to a conflict that will force me to look for a new person at the last minute.

This weekend, I had a chat with RQS and explained why I want to dissolve this tie that binds me to my brother.  I depend on him too much, and the extra complexity that owning an income producing property provides is not worth it.  Hopefully, my brother will soon feel the same way about the old family homestead.

Getting ready for tax day

 

It's been a little frustrating having to wait for my brother to finish up paperwork needed for me to file my taxes.  This will be a yearly problem as long as we jointly own a rental property.  But this year is different, as I have had to search for a new tax preparer.  And I decided to duck one issue by choosing someone I knew from my work at the LGBT center, as I felt I needed some form of familiarity with someone new.  With familiarity, I can more easily communicate my concerns about my newly complex tax situation, and ask how I can prevent problems in the future.

Taxes in the US are needlessly complicated, as most tax preparation forms depend on complexity to justify their existence.  There is n excuse for this, as most Americans have all of their significant income reported to the IRS.  Ideally, the government could receive a taxpayer's income statements, deductible state/local tax information, and generate a bill/refund for the taxpayer.  (Let's ignore privacy issues here for now.  I'm just arguing for simplicity.)  In theory, the vast majority of us wouldn't need to pay for tax preparation services, as the same computers that are programmed to detect tax fraud would also be doing tax preparation for us.  

Unfortunately, I would still be likely to need a tax preparer, as long as I own part of a rental property.  But how many Americans own one?  Business owners would still need their accountants, as they would always need to track money flows within a corporation, determine the net profitability (or lack of) of the corporation, and insure that properly computed taxes are paid to all affected governments.  

With all of this being said, I am grateful to have my problems instead of others.  I know how to manage my problems, as they are "first world problems."  It could be much worse.  All too many of us do not have the resources to get by in one of the most prosperous nations on this planet.  Getting rid of the inefficiencies of our system may just provide some of these people a small bit of relief.