I never used a debit card, and see where that got me.

 

As I've mentioned before, my brother and I own a rental property on Long Island.  After several years of renting the house to tenants, we made the decision to replace the washer and dryer as we refresh the place for our next set of tenants.  Today, I would have bought the above laundry set, save that the debit card for the joint account had expired.

- - - - - -

I was originally scheduled to meet RO for lunch today.  However, her sister is having health problems, and she must help her sister out in time of need.  But where did this leave me?  I now had a free day where I could order a washer/dryer combination and schedule delivery for a time convenient for me to be in Long Island.  So, I decided to get dressed as Mario and drive to Yonkers.

Once in Yonkers, I made sure to check whether there would be any problems with the card, as both ATM cards could be connected to both my personal and our joint account.  (I wanted 2 cards, so that my personal card would always link to my personal checking account, and that the "business" card would always link to the joint account.)  Well, when I went to the ATM, I found that the business card had expired.  Since I wasn't going to use my personal account for the transaction, I called my brother and told him about this glitch, and said that I'd send him the information about the washer/dryer that he now had to buy.

Since I no longer had to go into the appliance store, I figured that I'd go to the cell phone store and pick up some swag they were giving away.  Unlike past swag offers, they were not giving away this item at all of their stores.  I just got lucky and got mine at the store in Yonkers that was near the bank.  And then, I was on my way home for the night.

- - - - - -

Having arrived home, I rested for a while before opening the co-op board meeting.  It's now a pleasure to have meetings that last only 2 hours.  However, we still have a lot of problems to deal with, as we're still dealing with the fallout from our prior managing agent's mismanagement of things.  While on this zoom meeting, I received a message from DCD's ex girlfriend. (I'll call her NDC for now.)   His tumor has returned - bigger than ever.  So, I ended up chatting with her for an hour or so, and found out more details about his life.  His mom bailed out his car, but kicked him out of the house.  Now, he mostly lives out of his car, going to his ex's house to wash and clean up.  This has put some stress into her relationship with her current boyfriend.  She effectively has a grown up stray that needs taking care of, and she (with current boyfriend) have set boundaries for taking care of this stray.  Hopefully, when he goes into the hospital for his next surgery and for chemo, they will be stuck with the responsibility of finding a hospice for him to spend his final days.

While we're talking about DCD, I have to mention that NDC emailed DCD's mom to tell her about DCD's health concerns.  NDC feels that almost everyone in DCD's family orbit is a little F'd up to say the least.  His mom has a room which was prepared for her late husband to spend his final days, and won't let DCD stay there for his final days.  DCD's kids know that he's not long for this world, yet they won't renew contact with him.  (NDC has no idea of why DCD's kids hate him, but we think it's because of DCD's ex wife poisoning the well of affection between them.)  DCD's ex wife may have felt that she could have found a better man, and her resentment could have been the root cause of their divorce.  Strangely enough, DCD's ex was the only person in his current and former family to show an inkling of caring for each other.

When DCD dies, and I expect it to happen this year, I will attend the funeral (if I'm not on a cruise) in female presentation. NDC has only seen me as Marian, though she knows I'm transgender.  DCD's family will not remember me, much less realize anything is amiss.  It'll be a sad day, but it'll be the least I can do to pay my respects.

Miscellaneous Thoughts

 

Right now, many things have been going thru my head.  Here's a list of some of the things that are giving me a little angst:

1. Trump's Cabinet Choices. 
   
   All of our future president's cabinet choices so far seem to have escaped from a clown car.  People such as RFK Jr. should be nowhere near any positions of power in any agency related to public health.  While watching the news, I was reminded about RFK's visit to Samoa, and the misinformation he likes to spread regarding vaccines.
   
   
2. Trump's Political Revenge.
   
   DJT has vowed to take revenge on people who opposed him.  Can we afford for the Justice Department to be weaponized?  I doubt it.
   
   
3. A possible upcoming trade war.
   
   We get cheap goods from the world over.  We can no longer produce low-cost goods, as they depend on low-cost labor.  Who can afford to live in the US if paid Mexican wages?  Making threats against Canada and Mexico will be counter productive, as the economies of the 3 nations are tightly integrated.  Do we want to dismantle NAFTA (or, whatever it is called now)?  I don't.  Most US goods are produced with other goods sourced from around the world.  We can not untangle this profitable web of trade connections without becoming North Korea.
   
   
4. The Christian Nationalist war against the LGBT community.
   
   When blowhards are trying to deny Sarah McBride her right to relieve herself in one of the Capitol's lavatories, it shows how deep seated hatreds based on religious bias can cause us harm. We're seeing states like Texas, Louisiana, and Florida making moves to teach the bible in their public school classrooms.  Do we want to become like Iran, where only one religion and one standard of behaviors is acceptable?  I don't think so.
   
   
5. Health Care.
   
   Recently, my partner, RQS had a medical issue that caused her to go to the emergency room, and then be admitted to the hospital.  However, once admitted, the hospital's bureaucracy got in the way of her being released due to non-medical reasons, causing he to miss having a fancy holiday dinner at a local restaurant.  Something has to be done to monitor both the progress of medical care, as well as the administrative process that could result in a person being kept in the hospital longer than medically needed.
   
   No one likes feeling like a product on an assembly line, and that is how RQS felt during her stay in the hospital.  Somehow, patients' emotional well being has become the least important item in a hospital's priority list.  No wonder why people fear going to the doctor.  Once a person has no control over any part of what is being done to him/her, they avoid losing any control at any cost.  The emotional trade off isn't worth having good health.
   
   
6. Family.
   
   My brother and sister in law do not have the best of marriages.  One day, when my brother was out, I called the house and we got into a conversation.  Without going into details here, she still loves my brother, but feels like she is being neglected by him.  On his side, he resents how her illness has affected his life - as if it was a moral failure.  It is a recipe for disaster, as neither of them are able to communicate well with each other, and long standing resentments get in the way of breaking down the walls between them.
   
   
7. Friends.
   
   The divisive political climate we have in the USA reminds many of a dysfunctional marital relationship, where two spouses constantly bicker all the time.  Sadly, my country at a macro level reflects what many people are experiencing at a micro level.  For example, the friend who was the best man at my wedding has changed in a very different way than I have.  He has effectively consumed the Kool-Aid, while I have learned to detect it and avoid it.  His attitude towards transgender people would be acceptable in the backwoods of Texas or in the deep reaches of Louisiana's Bayou country, but not around here.  I believe in live and let live, not imposing yourself on others.  I can only imagine his reaction if he knew I was Trans.
   
   Other friends are more accepting.  The host and hostess of game night have a Trans child, and have no problems with me.  Yes, their child has to live in both worlds and make their way through life.  Yet, the parents are preparing their child for their life ahead.  It's amazing that when people are continually exposed to different people how accepting of differences they become.
   
   
8. Planned and Unplanned Expenses.
   
   I bought my car knowing that I'd be spending a prince's ransom to keep it in running order. This is not a bad thing.  If one has a well designed car, one can keep it on the road for a long time with proper maintenance.  I was willing to trade money for a safer car than I was driving for the past 10 years.
   
   However, cell phones are designed to be disposable commodities.  I hate spending money on a new phone when the old one works perfectly well, but should need only minor maintenance.  In my case, my current cell phone has a dying battery that needs immediate replacement.  (It shouldn't even be used until the battery is replaced.)  Sadly, my phone wasn't designed in a way that I could replace the battery (as I could with my first cell phone).  Instead, I have to buy a new phone, or order a replacement battery and have a specialist install it for me.  Something is very wrong here.
   
   Now that I am retired, I am much more sensitive to money that leaves my wallet.  Yes, I'm in the age bracket where one should expect to drain one's lifetime savings.  And yet, the weight of all these expenses will always bother me a bit.