Lunch with Maria - with a closeup view of MNRR/Amtrak

 

Today, Maria and I finally got the chance to meet for lunch.  She has her hands full raising her two grandchildren, as well as taking care of a daughter who is not responsible enough to take care of herself and her children.  So, we get together much less often than we would like.  But when we do, the conversation flows like the Niagara river.

Maria wasn't in the best of moods when we got together, as she had several problems on her mind.  I listened a bit, and gave some suggestions when asked. But for the most part, I let her speak until she was ready to let me jump in with the changes going on in my life.  While chatting, both Metro North and Amtrak trains passed by the restaurant, and we had to suspend our conversation for a few seconds while the trains passed by.

I asked Maria if her older daughter was likely to get married, and she noted that this daughter wasn't yet ready for a husband, children, or any of the other situations a woman in her 20's might find herself in. So I had a little fun in mentioning that I'm looking for a good excuse to make myself as pretty as possible again, to wear a fancy dress, and go out in the world as Marian to a formal affair.  Maria smiled at that.  I'm not so sure if this would ever happen, but it would be nice if it does....

Lunch with RO - a short post

 

Today's post is going to be a short one, as I was very tired after a long drive and a big lunch with a friend who knows I am transgender and treats me as a woman.

- - - - - -

RO and I usually try to get together every 4-6 weeks or so.  Although we once dated, we are just friends - especially when the two of us are in stable, committed relationships.  So our conversations tend to be those where we catch up on events going on in each other's lives, and not sharing our troubles with someone who has a sympathetic ear.  Our lunch fit that pattern today.

Given that we live 2 1/2 hours away from each other, we have found a few places to eat in locations halfway between our homes.  Today's place was a Greek restaurant near Patterson, NJ at which RO has feasted before.  And this was a good choice, as the food was good.  It was also a mistake, as both of us spent twice as much as planned.  Luckily, I had cash on me, and room in the back to take my leftovers home.

Would I eat here again?   Yes!   But I'd be careful with my spending, as it is way too easy to get lost with appetizers, large platters, and desserts.

Lunch with an old friend (postponed), and dinner with a new meetup group.

 

Today, I was supposed to meetup with an "old" friend, and then attend a meeting with a new meetup group.  Well, things didn't work out as expected.  Just after I had gotten dressed to meet her for lunch, SJM texted me to postpone lunch, as her son was taken to the hospital.  (I won't say more than this here.)  But she had one hell of a day, and we'll catch up with each other in the morning.  So, instead of meeting SJM, I picked up an egg sandwich at the deli where I used to stop every day before going to work at the imaging firm.

It's amazing how some people remember you after a couple of years.  I was greeted warmly, with the "what happened to you?" question.  I mentioned that I had retired, then told not to make myself scarce.  (Of course not, they want my business and they like friendly faces.)  With sandwich in hand, I decided to drive up to Poughkeepsie to browse the spring offerings at Lane Bryant.  While on the road, I chatted with my friend Maria, and we caught up with what's happening in each other's lives. And before too long, I was at the mall.

It was nice being in Marian mode again.  It's been more than a week since I last presented as female.  Once inside the mall, I noticed my legs weren't used to walking any distance - something I have to work on before going to Norway later this year.  There were some nice things at the store, but nothing that said "Buy Me!"  And that's just as well.  I've spent too much on clothing lately, buying another unitard from Universal Standard, a denim dress from Eshakti, and some shoes from Woman Within.  (It's hard to pass up good bargains when these are things I want to have in my closet.)  Now, I have to buy some things to wear over the unitards I have when not in exercise mode.

Once I got home from the mall, I relaxed for an hour before driving to Yonkers for another meetup.  This time, it was at an informal pizza joint in a business park off of Executive Boulevard.  I was the second to arrive, and we were all seated at the bar in order to get separate checks.  And this is where another feminine experience comes in....

Last night, I mentioned to one of the people at the meetup that I had been shopping for a car.  Well, he offered to help me buy a car - and volunteered to be my masculine "beard" when I go back to the dealership.  (My feminine presentation must be reasonably convincing now.  Little does he know that I present as male when dealing with car issues.)  Once he saw me, he showed me the information he gathered from one dealership's web site, as well as talking about what he's learned from his experiences car shopping.  Are all men like this?  AARGH!!!!  In his own way, he respected me last night for what I knew about cars, but was treating me like a lady who needed a man in her life to deal with these things.  Am I like this when presenting as Mario?  I hope not.  Once I was ready to leave, he showed me his new car - with all the bells and whistles.  Typical male behavior....

Luckily, I was able to make a graceful exit after a few minutes and left for home.  It was nice to be able to strip off all of the garments that cisgender women hate so much!!!!

 

 

PS: My friend's son is OK, and is at home resting as I write this.

Lunch with a new friend, and dinner with an old meetup group.

 

Today was an interesting day, as I had two meals out.  The first was lunch with a new friend that left me with questions, and the other was with a group of people I know from a meetup group which I dine with from time to time.  

- - - - - -

On one of my recent trips into NYC, I met this new friend while waiting for the elevator at Croton-Harmon station.  We exchanged numbers, and agreed to meet for lunch one day.  Today was that day.  We met at a Mexican restaurant in Ossining and had a pleasant meal.  But one thing bothered me and I didn't realize it at the time - she was asking a lot of questions about me, and not sharing that much about herself.  Given that most people love to talk about themselves a little, I wonder if she was pumping me for information for nefarious purposes.  If this is so, I'll bet that she'll be a little shocked if she finds out I am not a cisgender woman.  

Why did I mention this?

Later in the evening, I was bothered by the nature of the conversation.  And I decided to talk about this with a friend I'll be meeting for lunch tomorrow.  If my radar has detected something wrong, she can help steer me to the right people who can help.  

- - - - - -

Later on in the day, I braved the rains and trekked to Eastchester for a dinner with the meetup group.  It was the usual cast of characters, and I'll bet that the men there were surprised about the knowledge I had from car shopping and my travels by railroad.  If I were a cisgender woman a generation younger than I am, I might have been interested in the more typically masculine one of them.  The other was a mousy looking fellow who I'll bet rarely attracts women.  

Why did I mention attractiveness?

Well, there were 5 people at my table: an average looking fellow at the far end of the table, a hefty fellow across from me, a mousy man catty corner from me, and a mousy woman to my side.  Ignoring myself, a trans woman whose size makes her look like a beached whale, only the fellow at the far end of the table fell in the normal range of attractiveness. And this led to a conversation I had with RQS later in the evening.  Although I attend meetups only to develop friendships, others attend these meetings as a way to kill time until they find a mate and have too little time to meet with casual acquaintances.  

- - - - - -

But, back to my lunch date....

Hopefully, my radar has detected a false positive with the new friend.  But if I'm wrong, I want to be prepared for the worst.

Meeting RQS's Friend

 

Yes, is a picture taken of me over a decade ago.  But I don't want to show a picture of RQS or her friend in this blog.

We had arranged to meet in NYC several weeks ago, and it was nice to be back in Marian mode again. RQS and I got ready to take the train into NYC, and I noticed that one of my dresses had a rip at one seam.  Since I couldn't wear that dress, I had to substitute a sweater dress in its stead - and that was a good thing, considering the cold weather outside.

Arriving at Grand Central an hour ahead of our expected time, we killed some of it in the waiting room over a cup of coffee.  And then it was off to lunch.  When we arrived at our destination, I noted that it couldn't be the Chick-fil-A on the corner, as corporate management is anti-LGBT.  Luckily, we were meeting at the French themed shop next door. And that's where a complication arose - there were no seats, and RQS had already paid for lunch.  So we ended up walking a block to another place, and again - no seats.  Both places had turned into de-facto office spaces, with people both eating and working at the tables.  Again, we picked up and left - for the Wendy's next door.

Time flowed way too quickly.  Her friend greeted me as Marian, and we hit it off instantly. If I didn't have to be back in Croton by 6 to get my car out of the parking lot, we would have stayed longer.  But it was a good excuse to take my leave.  Surprisingly, I made it home by 5:15, as I caught a non-stop express to Croton and beyond. 

The high point of my day was at lunch

 

It's hard to believe that it has been 4 years since I've worked at the census, and 4 years since I felt comfortable with being 'out' as a transgender person.  Today, I met with one of my friends from the census and had a nice lunch.

My friend (let's call her CSC) and I have been trying to meet on a monthly basis since our work on the census ended.  And we've been able to keep up to date on happenings in our lives since then.  She's shared information on family events, her travels, and on things in general - and I've done the same.  The one thing I'll share about our conversation is how her dietary restrictions have affected her when dining out....

CSC comes from a Jewish family.  As a result, she lived in a kosher household and has never eaten pork or shellfish.  That is not an issue for her.  She is allergic to peanuts, peas, and bananas.  She is also a vegetarian who once ate meat in the past.  So, she finds herself having to talk about dietary issues every time she goes out to eat.  Even when she does so, things can go a little wrong as it did today; A pea was found in the yellow rice served to her, and she had to send it back for some white rice.  (A minor issue, Yes.  But she could have suffered a severe allergic reaction.)  She told me about visits to restaurants which had no vegetarian options on the menu, where the chef concocted some very tasty dishes just for her.  And she told me about restaurants that said they couldn't accommodate her - then they did.  Nowadays,  it's much easier for her, as most restaurants are willing to have both vegan and gluten free foods on the menu, as well as knowing how to keep "special requirements" food prepared separately from "regular" food.

All too soon, it was time to go.  So we made plans for the following month and went on our way.

- - - - - -

Once home, I had to switch back to Mario mode.  I had a handyman coming over to see about replacing the exhaust fan/ceiling light in the bathroom.  This will be a slightly more expensive project than I planned, as he suggested that he repaint the ceiling after he finishes installing the fixture.  (The ceiling paint has started to flake off in one area, and I've deferred doing this work.)  So, I handed him a deposit, and he will buy all the supplies needed for the job - and he will get back to me to schedule the work.

- - - - - -

Now that my 15 minutes as Mario was over with, it was time to switch back into Marian mode for a zoom call with my friends from Texas and RQS.  I'll bet that they noticed that I was exhausted, but I was able to stay awake during our meeting.  (Again, I didn't get enough good sleep the night before.)  Hopefully, we will all be able to get together again in 2025.  But that's another story.  Shortly afterwards was my nightly call with RQS to end my day.

I couldn't sleep, and I had a long day ahead of me

 

The above caricature seems fitting for today, as I had to go in for my colonoscopy today and then be awake enough to deal with a co-op board meeting.  Of course, I didn't get much sleep last night, so staying awake until I'm back home would be the most important thing on my mind.

- - - - - -

Around 6:00, I drank the last of the ghastly fluid, and I spent the next 2 hours treating myself like royalty - if you get what I mean.  And then I had the last liquid of the morning, as I wasn't allowed to have any fluids within 2 hours of my procedure.  Shortly afterward, I got myself ready to go to the hospital, and Vicki was waiting for me as scheduled.  She noted that it was a little bit of a surprise to see me as Mario today.  But then, she knows me in both modes, and part of her didn't realize that I'd have to present as Mario today.

Normally, I'd budget about 30 minutes to reach the hospital.  That's about how long it took, in spite of a few slow moving trucks that got in the way.  But we were there early, and that worked to our advantage, as I still had more paperwork to take care of when we got to the hospital.  And then it was upstairs to the floor where my procedure was to be performed.

Of course, my doctor was running late with other patients, and our expected procedure time was being delayed 30 minutes. Getting into my hospital gown, I realized that I'd be handing Vicki two of my most valuable things: my cellphone and wallet.  So I made sure to hand her these things before I packed my clothes into a small bag that would follow me into the procedure room and then to the recovery room.  At this point, I was "in for a penny, and in for a pound."  Any ambivalence I might have had became meaningless, as I was committed for the next 2-3 hours.

By the time the doctor was able to get around to me, he was an hour behind schedule.  Vicki noted that the doc looked like a famous singer - and I agreed with her.  Soon, I was whisked away to the procedure room, and was unconscious a few minutes later.  When I regained consciousness, I wasn't groggy, but I knew I was off.  Having Vicki with me gave me the confidence that nothing would be missed when the doc came to tell me what he found - nothing to worry about, but tissues were being sent to the lab just to be safe. Soon, I was dressed and ready to go.  Vicki and I went to the local diner where we both ate more than we should have.  The food was good, and well worth the extra calories.  And then I was dropped off at my apartment, where I'd spend the rest of the day.

- - - - - -

Once home, I took a nap, and woke up just in time to start the co-op zoom meeting.  It was a struggle to stay awake, as I was still recovering from both a lack of sleep and being anesthetized,  But I made it through the meeting, and was ready to go back to sleep once I finished my dinner....

I'm going to get really fat if I don't watch out

 

Today, I ended up having two meals out with friends.  How I did that, I don't know.  But I did enjoy both meals along with the company I had.

- - - - - -

If it weren't for the fact that today would be the only time this month that I could see my friend from the census without problems, I would have preferred to stay in and relax for the day.  I hadn't gotten enough sleep last night, and the alarms only got me going around 11:00 am for a 12:30 pm lunch.  This ended up being perfect for me, as I arrived at the Italian joint in town and found my friend just sitting down to wait for me to arrive.

This was a day where I dominated the conversation, describing what happened on my most recent cruise. Hopefully, I did it in a way that kept her interest, as I'm pretty sure that she will never sail with MSC. While Carnival is described as the Walmart of cruise lines, catering to the "value oriented" customer, I described MSC as the bastard offspring between Target and K-Mart. From Target, MSC gets the glitz that attracts people to cruise with them.  And from K-Mart, MSC gets the low quality that causes people to say "Never Again!"  People attracted to MSC do not want the Carnival cruise experience, but want a subset of the experiences one can get on other, higher priced, cruise lines. Eventually, lunch had to end, and I proceeded home.  Originally, I was going to go to Jersey and do some shopping.   But I felt that I should put my leftovers in the refrigerator before going out.  As a result, I never bothered to go out until I met Vicki for dinner at Lefteris Gyro.

- - - - - -

I met Vicki just after she was done with her exercise class, and she was famished.  This time, Vicki would be the one carrying leftovers home.  Vicki listened to me describing the cruise, knowing that neither of us would likely cruise MSC in the future based on my most recent experience.  Yet, I felt this was a shame, as with a little more attention to the quality of the experience and less on nickel-dimeing the cruiser, they'd have product good enough to seriously make a run at grabbing market share from the big-3 American based cruise line corporations (Carnival, Royal Caribbean, and Norwegian).  Vicki told me about her retirement plans (which I won't go into here) and chatted about things going on with her and her husband.  All I will say about that is that he will go more than the extra mile for her.

All too soon, dinner had to end and we had to go our own ways.  Not to worry.  I'll see her again when I have my colonoscopy next week....

 

Lunch with a friend, and a lost credit card.

 

I really didn't think I'd want to get up this morning, so I made sure to set several alarms to get me moving in time for lunch.  Each month, a friend of mine from the census gets together with me and we have lunch at a nearby restaurant.  Today was no different, save that I was a little bit "off".

Considering that it was finally too cool for me to wear my summer dresses.  So I had to pull out something a little bit warmer to wear - a long sleeved blue dress with matching blue tights.  Although it's been forever since I put on a pair of tights, I felt comfortable, knowing that my "junk" was safely tucked and would stay in place during the meal.  (Soon, I will be wearing my Fall/Winter wardrobe exclusively, and I will miss the comfort of my Summer wardrobe.  But I digress.)  Once dressed, I was out the door, and at the restaurant only a few minutes late.

Not seeing my friend's car, I knew to walk into the place and look for my friend - who was sitting by the front door.  However, we ended up moving from our original table, as it was too loud where we were.  So we took our napkins, utensils, and menus and proceeded to the back.  And this was much more comfortable than where we were first seated, making it much easier to chat without a lot of the noise being made up front.  For the most part, our chat was mostly about the trips we took and the trips we were about to take. So, I won't mention much here.  But I was uncomfortable, as I felt "off" from the time I got up.  As a result, I was glad when 2:30 came around, and we bid each other farewell.

With lunch being done, it was time to fill my car with gas.  And this is where I noticed that my Exxon card was missing.  Normally, I keep it with my cell phone, so that I can use it in either gender presentation.  But it was gone.  So I proceeded to the BP station in town and filled up there.  From there, I went home and filed a missing card report.  Dollars to donuts I'll find the old card before its' replacement comes in....

Taking care of business (part 3)

 

A week ago, electricians came to the apartment to remediate issues caused by the aluminum wiring in my apartment complex.  Not dealing with this issue would increase the possibility of a fire, and our insurance would not cover us until this work is complete.  Today was the second visit from the electricians .  However, this visit was to deal with outlets behind my bed and dressers that couldn't be reached on their first visit.  To get to these outlets, I had to dump lots of stuff into bins and boxes to get it out of the way (to be sorted out later), so that the furniture could be moved to access the outlets.

In the process of moving furniture, I found a lot of stuff that had fallen behind the dressers and bed that was too hard to get at in normal circumstances.  Once things are back to normal, I will sort through everything I put into bins and boxes to determine what stuff to keep and what stuff to trash.  This is something that everyone should do every few years, and it's been almost 30 years since I've done this because furniture movement is a daunting task for me these days.

- - - - - -

The electricians were supposed to be here at 9:00 am.  By 9:30, I was getting concerned that something was screwed up, as I had no notice of any problem.  So I did two things in parallel: Write an email to the co-op's managing agent to notify them of the problem, and to call them immediately afterward.  Obviously, I got someone's attention, as within 15 minutes, I found out that the electricians would be here within a few minutes.

When the electricians arrived, they were apologetic - they had come off of an emergency call (the electric had gone out in half of a person's house in White Plains), and couldn't make it back to me on time.  They were also surprised to find out that I hadn't been notified of the problem, as I would have been less anxious and annoyed at having to wait longer than expected.  Within 30 minutes, they had finished work on all 3 of my remaining outlets, furniture was back in place, and I was able to relax and take a nap.

- - - - - -

What I haven't mentioned about today was that I didn't get much sleep the night before.  So, when TCL called to tell me that she wasn't feeling well and couldn't do lunch today, I was a bit happy that this happened.  We can schedule lunch for when I'm more rested and awake....

California Vacation 2023 - San Francisco (Day Two)

 

The first thing I wanted to do today was to take a trip to Fort Point, and pay my respects to my late wife. (This is where I scattered her ashes.) Unfortunately, the fort was closed, and I scuttled this plan for the day. Instead, we were off to the Swan Oyster Depot to have a good seafood meal.


After breakfast, we bought another day pass on the Muni, and walked over to the trolley stop to start our journey. Instead of the expected trolley car, a bus was servicing the line. This would be the theme for today’s travel - substitution. Even if we wanted to take a cable car for part of today’s rides, it looked like San Francisco’s cable car network wasn’t running, as I saw some buses running on the California Street cable car line as substitutes for the cable cars. The bus we took to the Oyster Depot was rerouted to avoid the area where the president was in town for a conference.

We made it to the Oyster Depot by 12:30, and ended up waiting 45 minutes to be seated. With only 18 seats in the place, a long wait is always possible here. But once seated and fed, it was all worth the effort to make it here. YUM! I had the smoked salmon with shrimp salad, while RQS had the mixed plate of clams and oysters. Both of us had clam chowder. It was well worth the $120 spent on this meal.

 

Then, it was back to the ship. Both of us knew that our stay in “Fog City” was too short, and that we’d want to visit this city again. As the ship left the bay, RQS and I got some interesting pictures from our balcony. It was too bad I couldn’t have book-ended stills and videos of our arrival in the San Francisco bay with our leaving the bay. But it was nice to get views of both Alcatraz and the Golden Gate Bridge on our way to our next stop, San Diego.

This was not yet the end of our day. It was Italian Night in the main dining room, and our waiter made sure that we had extra dishes for each course. Yum! Although we didn’t eat everything in front of us, we had a good sampler of what the restaurant had to offer. And this was a nice touch that we didn’t experience on our other cruises. Did I eat too much? For the day, yes. But not at this meal. Everything was served in “human sized” portions. So if I had been hungry, I’d have no problem ordering a second (or third) place of something to enjoy.


Once done with dinner, it was off to the lounge, where we saw our two friends from the other night. This time, Sue was more a part of the conversation, and we had a couple of hours of good chatting before it was time to go to bed for the night.

A Cat's Health and seeing my Brother

 

I used to own too many cats.  4 cats in a 1-Br apartment are too many.  But what about 2 cats in the same space?  What happens when one of those cats die, and the older cat isn't feeling well?  That is what RQS was dealing with today.

- - - - - -

RQS had to put a cat to sleep last week, and now she's worried about the surviving cat.  Although the cat is showing its age, its health is on the decline. And today, she decided to call the vet and take the soonest appointment she can get.  Hopefully, this cat can be treated with affordable medicine, and that it will be healthy until its eventual passing away.

After RQS took care of the Vet appointment, it was off to lunch before heading out to my brother.  Traffic was still snarled due to yesterday's subway maintenance work, but we were able to avoid the worst of it to get to a diner.  It's hard for me to believe that there is a diner with a parking lot in Glendale, just 500 feet away from my favorite German restaurant, Zum Stammtisch.  But there it was, a small place with an unlit sign and a parking lot just big enough for 7 cars.  So we stopped in to eat.  Yum!  We'll keep this place in mind for Sunday mornings and afternoons.

When I dropped RQS off, it was time to visit my brother.  I figured that he wanted to show me some work to be done for the house.  Instead, he gave me some of the money he owed me.  Now, I have some play money for my upcoming cruise and for further car maintenance.  And then, we were off to dinner at Benihana. As much as Hibachi can be a fun meal, this restaurant left a bit to be desired.  First, it was over priced. And then, the confusing orders given by one party of 8 regarding food allergies and food preferences caused problems with the cooking of the food, resulting in my brother and I getting our meal 10 minutes before the rest of the table received their meals.  At least, we were able to get back to my brother's place in time for me to take care of a GI Tract issue.

- - - - - -

I may have mentioned the Dunning-Kruger effect before.  But I am surprised to find out how little my sister in law understands about how our government works, and how she blames the federal government (i.e. the President) for the organized criminals wreaking havoc in stores in our nation's large cities.  It is not the federal government's responsibility to stop crime in these cities, it is the state and local governments that are responsible.  She thinks she knows much more than she does, and blames the Democrats at the federal level for the problem. What happened to teaching how our government is supposed to work in our schools? But then, she watches Fox "News".  Need I say more?

All too soon, it was time for me to leave my brother's place and go home for the night.  My brother and sister in law hate night time driving.  As for me, I find it restful, as there are few traffic jams at this time of night, and I can get home quicker than had I left a few hours earlier.

Seeing a friend again - a short post.

I made one friend from the firm I last worked for, and went to lunch with her today.  She knows I am trans, and treats me like a lady - including the discussion of topics of physical matters not usually discussed with males.  So it was a pleasure to get together at the Mexican restaurant down the hill from me. As much as I would like to chat about some of the issues we discussed, I won't, save for one thing - she's been dealing with a lot of headaches lately, and she is exhausted.  (She's lucky that she's at least 10 years younger than I am!)

Rosarito is becoming a go-to place for me when I'm in Marian mode, as the restaurant is quiet during the day.  It is a nice place to get a good Mexican meal at a reasonable price, and one that I'll only go to at off hours.  My friend, I'll call her OSJ, had trouble finding the place because her car's GPS system had her make a left turn at my exit when she should have made a right turn.  Once she used her phone's GPS system, she found the place without trouble. It was like seeing a long lost friend again, and we brought each other up to date on each other's lives.  After lunch, she made sure to let me know that I can call her before our next lunch.  I will take her up on that.

Around 2:30 pm, it was time for us to leave the restaurant, and I decided to drive to Poughkeepsie to see what they had in the local Lane Bryant.  They had a few nice dresses, but nothing worth what they asked for those dresses.  So, I passed on them, and drove home.  On the way back, I stopped by Walmart to buy some slip shorts, and then it was home for the night.
 

I met a friend today, oh boy....

 

Today's post will be a quick one, as I do not have that much to say....

- - - - - -

A while back, I had scheduled lunch with my friend Suzanne from the company I used to work for.  Today, we finally had another chance to get together and chat about what is going on in our lives.

Suzanne was a little late, as she was catching up on things that piled up on her in the morning. (I won't go into any details, as she has a business that she is developing.)  But when she finally arrived, the conversation flowed like water.  I told her about the "Before and After" picture in yesterday's post, but couldn't show it to her because I didn't upload it into the cloud.  I also looked for an email containing an apartment that was literally trashed, but couldn't find that one as well.  (I won't include it here, as looking at the picture makes me feel sick.)

It's always nice to talk with someone who knows that I am transgender and live in both male and female worlds.  It would be even nicer that I would have an androgynous face to go along with whatever presentation I am in, as I would like to shift more into the female mode than I am today.  And it is nice to be able to be with women who accept me for who and what I am.... 

Second Cruise - Day 4: Bar Harbor, ME.

 

 

Day 4: Bar Harbor, ME.

We didn’t have to get up early today, so we didn’t.  Yet, we were up by 8:00 am, and were having breakfast by 9:30 am.  This made it possible for us to get off the ship by 10:30 am, and start walking around Bar Harbor. Unlike tendering at Newport, the cruise line hired a charter boat to ferry passengers from the ship to the pier and back.  That gave us at least 4 boats in tender service to move people, and it didn’t take long to get to shore.

This was RQS’s first time in the area in years, and she was happy to follow my lead in walking around town.  Once on shore, we took some pictures of the harbor, then went to a local book store to spend some money.  Next, it was a search for two stores, one of which always has wallets on sale - where we both replaced our wallets for new ones.  The other store was where I bought (as Marian) a scarf which I have yet to wear - it was packaged as a knot, and looks better as a knot than it does as a scarf.  (Sooner or later, I will untangle the knot and wear the scarf.  Until then, I like how the scarf was packaged for transit, and will keep it that way.)

After walking through town we looked for a place to eat.  Most of the good joints were closed for the season, and we made the mistake of going into a joint where we should have ordered burgers and beers, not chowder and tacos.  That was a waste of money and time.  But, when most of the good joints are closed, one takes what she can get.

Then, it was back to the ship, to prepare for our next day’s journeys.

Second Cruise - Day 0: Travel to Queens.

 

Day 0: Travel to Queens.

Normally, I drive to RQS’s place and park my car in her neighborhood.  This week, it was not the case, as I couldn’t leave my car on a city street due to alternate side of the street parking that takes place during weekdays.  So, I called a cab to the station, and had a one way chat with a cabbie which had a bone to pick with Uber and Lyft for not having to follow any regulations for passenger rides.

When I arrived at Croton Harmon, I found that I had just missed a train to the city, and had to kill time before a local train arrived.  The train ride was uneventful, but I realized that I had nothing to eat before getting on the train. So I stopper into the food court at Grand Central to pick up a quick bite to eat, then hump my bag and CPAP machine onto the subway.  In the post-Covid Grand Central, there are few places to have a seat, even to eat something from one of the food vendors still open.  Everything is geared to standing up at a high table, to keep people from lingering.  Luckily, I found a ‘handicapped table’ which I used while quickly eating a sandwich.

Eating the sandwich was the smartest thing I could have done.  I took the subway to Bleeker street, where I could connect with the M train going out to Queens.  This was a big mistake, as there were no (or few) M trains running this afternoon.  (I had checked service outages before making this route decision.) So, after waiting more than 30 minutes, I bailed and went back to Union Square to catch another train to RQS’s neighborhood.

The whole trip took 4 hours, for what would normally be a 2 hour trip.  I was both hungry and tired before I got to RQS’s place, and after a little rest, we went to eat.  Shortly after dinner, we went to bed early, in anticipation of the trip to come.

Seeing friends

 

 
It's been a long time since the above group held a meeting, and I've grown a lot as a person since then.  Yet, I yearn a little for the innocence and ignorance I had back then, as I was in a period of rapid social growth as Marian.

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Lately, I've been trying to catch up with friends I've made over the years: friends I've made at work, friends I've made through meetups, and friends I've made in the general course of life.  It isn't always easy finding the time or money to get together with these people.  But I try to do so.

As I write this, I will be lunching with a friend from where I last worked.  Next week, I'll be meeting with one of my transgender acquaintances, and with a woman I once dated.  It's not always easy planning things 2+ weeks ahead, as I've found that most people are only able to plan for social engagements that are 1 or 2 weeks ahead.

Now that I'm seeing RQS, I have even less time to get together with people, as most of them are unattached.  However, I do not intend to make the mistake I made when I was married.  Losing friends is easy when one is coupled.  Keeping them is much harder.  And I intend to do my best to keep them.

Another end to a weekend

 

The above is the menu at the Blue Pig.  Yesterday, RQS and I decided to go there instead of the local Carvel, and she loved the ice cream there.  Today, we could have used some ice cream.  But we decided to relax before going out to do a weekly shopping run for my weekly lunches....

Our original plan was to trek down to Wegman's so that I could buy some Asian lunches.  However, with a traffic jam on I-287, it made sense to abandon this plan and go to Stew Leonard's for our shopping run.  Once on this path, I knew that I'd need to spend more than I planned for the day, as a typical run to Stew's runs about $100+ these days.  (And it's worth every cent!)

One thing about shopping at Stew's is that there are few goods on sale there that are not related to food.  (Yes, they have sold linens, slipper socks, face masks and other things.  But they are not known for selling the greater variety of things found at a typical supermarket.)  About $115 later, I had enough food to get through the week, and some money left over to buy RQS and I a couple of ice cream cones.

All too soon, RQS had to leave.  So I drove her to the station, filled up my car, and went home to take a nap.  After waking up TCL called, and I served as her sounding board for the next 2 hours.  Only then could I get some rest and fall back to sleep....

Random thoughts on a weekend day

I usually take care of shopping for the week on weekends.  When I'm at RQS's place I usually go to the supermarket on my way home.  This way, I'm able to pick up lunches for several days.  If I haven't done my laundry, Sunday is the day it gets done.  This weekend, I got a little bit done, but didn't have energy for anything else.

Yes, I've written about being tired many times before.  And I will likely do so again.  But I've noticed that when I don't have much at stake, I tend to do nothing - not forcing myself to gt up to do any of the things I need to do.  Is it old age, is it depression, or is it something else?  The root of my lethargy is a big concern to me, as I feel that as I approach traditional retirement age that I need to understand more about my health.

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Years ago, I could ride a bicycle all day, covering 50 miles without much thought other than the time it would take to do so.  Today, I couldn't even pedal a bicycle up the small hill that I live on.  Much of this can be explained by the weight I've put on over the years.  But that's not the only factor.  I never learned how to eat healthy, nor did I develop a taste for "healthy" things to eat.

One of the things I can do to help myself is to get outdoors more often.  Before I took my current job, I had no problem finding time to do this - even in the worst days of the pandemic.  Now, it's much harder for me.  I figure that things will get better once I finally retire for good, as I will both have no excuses not to get out and I will have the time (and energy) to do so when my body is ready to do so.

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In chatting with my brother for a few minutes, he mentioned that an operation he just had is healing nicely.  Hopefully, he'll still be glad that he took care of this when he has to go to work.  In many ways, he's in the same position I'm in - he can't ask a family member for help.  In his case, he'd prefer to ask a friend for help.  In my case, I'd need to ask a friend for help.  This will become more of a problem as we get older, as there will be fewer people around that we can ask for help when we need it.

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I could go on and on about little things.  But I'm not in the mood for regurgitating little things.  So, I'll end this entry here....

Missing a play

 

Casual readers of this blog know that I love to attend theater performances, especially when in Marian Mode.  Last night, I was scheduled to see a performance of an Off-Broadway play and missed it due to subway maintenance.

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A while back, Vicki said that she was going to get her hair colored and trimmed.  Since she was going to be out of the house, I suggested we get together for lunch - which we did.  The one thing she wasn't expecting in her conscious mind was to see me in Mario mode.  But then, she wasn't connecting the dots between us getting together and RQS and I getting together.  However, she realized which mode I was traveling in today, and we had lunch a few minutes later than planned.

After lunch, I drove to RQS's place, where I had to hunt about 15-20 minutes to find a parking spot near her house.  We killed a little time before leaving the house.  However, we made one mistake - we ate dinner in Queens instead of Manhattan.   Had we done this, we'd have made the theater on time because we could have taken alternate routes into the city.  But I digress.  Once we finished dinner, we dropped off her leftovers at her apartment, and then headed to the subway.  Sadly, the train we needed wasn't running, and it didn't make sense for use to hoof it into Manhattan to do anything else.

When I left RQS's place, I made a quick run to Wegmans to pick up some lunches for the rest of the week, and then home to relax....