Game night - This time, I just kibitzed.

 

This was a half and half day, where I started out as Mario and bought a lightweight blazer for my upcoming cruise, took it to the tailor to get altered, then took a business suit to the cleaners to be fresh in time for the cruise.  The other half of the day was spent in Marian mode, so that I could have dinner with MAR, then play games in Yonkers.

- - - - - -

I got out of the house late, and dropped off my suit at the cleaners.  The place looked almost empty, as if the owner wasn't getting enough business to stay open.  So I'll be sure to get my suit out of there as early as possible, maybe this Saturday, as I doubt the shop will remain open to the end of the year.  (RQS's dresses are in the shop, having been hemmed last weekend.)  Next, I drove down to DXL to buy a blazer, and $225 later, it was hanging in my car and on its way to a tailor I could trust.

There is a dry cleaning shop in the heart of Croton that does its cleaning on premises AND has a dedicated tailor on site.  This was the shop I wanted to take up the cuffs on my blazer.  $40 later, I was out the door, and able to pick up the blazer next week.  So, by 2:30 pm, I was ready to change into Marian mode and prepare for dinner with MAR.  One problem - she was hurting badly (cramps), and wanted to postpone dinner (again).  I suggested rescheduling dinner, and she jumped at it.

At this point, I had a couple of hours to kill before going to game night.  Just as I was about to put my makeup on, my brother called.  This caused me to get out of the house late, and arrive too late to participate in the one game being played tonight.  Just as well.  I was more in the mood to hang out, and kibitz a little.  (Note: "Kibitz" is meant as idle conversation, and not as providing unwanted advice.)  Even though I didn't play any games, it was a nice evening. 

Another weekend in Queens

 

Although the above picture was taken in Chinatown, RQS and I spent most of the weekend at her house.  Sadly, this was a weekend spent as Mario, as my brother was coming over to eat with us this past Sunday. 

But first....

The weekend started off with a drive to Queens.  There was a little more traffic than I expected, but in the places that are normally backed up, traffic was moving.  So, I made it to RQS's place a little faster than usual, getting to her place before the sun went down.

Saturday came, and we had originally planned to go to Midtown Manhattan to visit one of the venues opening their doors for Open House New York (OHNY) weekend.  However, this conflicted with "No Kings" protest weekend, and RQS didn't want to be anywhere near any of the protests.  So we decided to take the subway to Chinatown and have a bite to eat.

We got off the subway at the Chambers Street station (one of the ugliest and poorest maintained stations in the system) and walked upstairs and saw these policemen in a relaxed mood.  It seems like the "No Kings" demonstrations went off without any problems, as every policemen we encountered seemed to be enjoying themselves in the beautiful weather we had this Saturday.  On our walk to Chinatown, RQS and I spotted 20 policemen on bicycles casually riding back to Police Headquarters, looking like they had an easy day on duty. (Later, we found that there were no incidents related to the protests.  This was good, as I seriously considered that the Orange Snowflake might create some "False Flag" trouble.  If the protesters were Anti-American, as the corrupt administration in DC claims, then count me in as one.  But I digress.)

Eventually, we made it over to Mott Street and made it to one of the better "Noodle Joints" in town - Wo Hop.   It's not one of the restaurants I'd usually eat at, as I prefer Szechwan cuisine over Cantonese.  But both RQS and I wanted a change of pace on this visit.  That left us with a big question:  Do we go to the original Wo Hop, located in the basement, their upstairs dining room, or Wo Hop Next Door?  Well, we chose the upstairs dining room, as there were no lines.  (Later, we found out that both upstairs and downstairs dining rooms share the same kitchen.  So, while we had no wait to get a table, people had to wait to eat downstairs.)  Both RQS and I enjoyed the food.  Yet, I think that next time we are in town, we may try another noodle joint.

After our meal, we explored Chinatown a little, and took the subway back home for the night.  We got in our share of walking for the day, and we had another day of good food ahead of us on Sunday.

- - - - - -

Sunday came, and we took our time getting out of bed.  My brother was coming over in mid-afternoon, and we would be proceeding to Rockaway Beach for dinner at a "Red Sauce" joint.  (Note: Red Sauce Joints are old style Italian Restaurants.)  He arrived about an hour late, and we made the 45 minute drive to the Rockaways. Rocco's of Rockaway Beach is a Red Sauce joint that was well worth the effort to get to by car.  Just around the corner from the end of the subway line, it could have been a regular place for us to go - if we didn't have to make 2-3 subway transfers to get there.  But it was the perfect place to go with my brother to celebrate his birthday, as it gave him a chance to talk about his problems if he felt the need to do so.

We sat down to eat, and had a leisurely dinner.  About 2 hours later, we were finishing off our meals, and I was tasked with the drive back to RQS's place.  My brother's legs were hurting him, and he needed a break before driving back to his house.  So, I took the "long" way home, and we bid our farewells for the evening.  I feel sad for him, as he's in the early states of separating from his wife, and he doesn't know the half of what he's in for over the next few months.

- - - - - -

On Monday, I had a hard time in getting moving.  I had to go home and take care of editing the co-op's newsletter, as well as catch up on things at my place.  Although RQS will be up here this coming weekend, I will still miss having her next to me for the next few days.
 
 

A dreary day to get a dress hemmed and go furniture shopping

 

One of the errands we needed to take care of today was getting RQS's dresses hemmed for our next cruise  So, when we finally got dressed, our first stop was the local cleaners.  It's hard to believe that tailoring for the dresses cost much more than the dresses themselves. But that's the price one pays when one gets dresses from thrift shops (even upscale ones).

We got to talking, and RQS mentioned that we should go looking at furniture for her apartment.  Specifically, she wanted to replace her living room loveseat with a reclining loveseat.  I thought to visit Bob's Discount Furniture in Yonkers for this.  So we drove to Yonkers and we looked at the only loveseat that fit her needs.  Since we weren't buying, we thanked the salesman and proceeded home.

I thought of going to another furniture store one the way home, and made one mistake - it moved to the former location of another furniture store.  After entering the parking lot, we found out that the store had moved (I should have remembered this from other trips to lower county), and decided to do some food shopping at Whole Foods so that I could get "free parking" in the lot.  $54 later, I had a validated parking ticket that saved me $3.  A great way to "Save", huh"

On the way home from Whole Foods, I called my brother and he opened up about his life.  His marriage is over in all but name, and he wants to get on with his life.  I feel sorry for him, but given his wife's alcoholism, he needs to take proactive measures to save his own life.  Thankfully, my relationship with RQS is infinitely more nourishing.

The day started with a call from my doctor...

 

I can't say that I was asleep when my doctor called this morning.  But I can say that the call disturbed me before I got out of bed.  And this set the overtone for the rest of the day.

- - - - - -

My doctor wanted to review the results of a blood test he gave me a week ago.  Seems like one of the levels was way too high, and he wanted me to avoid alcohol until I see him again next month.  The reality is that I eat too much fatty food, and that the rich food I was eating on the cruise combined with the 2-3 drinks per day I was drinking on the cruise (I rarely drink alcohol otherwise) could have been a factor.  I guess that this has to be a wake-up call to get my act together when it involves what I'm eating.

Now that my morning was shot, I took care of some little things around the house, then went out for lunch and then make a run to the supermarket.  At the supermarket, I made sure to pick up some salad, as well as some fruit.  Maybe I can start changing my diet before my next cruise?  I hope so.  And then, I was home for the night, as I had a co-op meeting scheduled for 5:15 pm.

I started the co-op meeting, and it took a while for the board members to join in.  We conducted our business, and yet, it still seemed as if the president and I were the only two doing the work.  I'll be glad when we get some issues resolved, as both of us want to go on and do things other than spending our time keeping the co-op running. When the co-op meeting was over, I started 2 loads of laundry, and then called my brother.  His boss made an offer to him that he couldn't refuse - a promise to pay attention to my brother's need for a better work/life balance.

Finally, I chatted with RQS.  We got price quotes for 2 different cruises.  She wanted one cruise, and I wanted the other.  Both are good choices.  But RQS is more sensitive to the price of the cruise than I am.  So, I think I will bend to her preferences, and choose the shorter, less expensive cruise.  More on this later.

Sle's leaving home, bye.... bye....

 

When I started writing this entry, the Beatles' song, "She's Leaving Home" came to mind.  It often feels like RQS and I have second homes at each other's apartments, and that we miss each other as soon as the other leaves for home.  Although we'll be on the phone with each other every night, and that I'll be going down to her place this weekend, there is still a void around here.  But that's not what I want to talk about today.

- - - - - -

Neither of us had that much energy this morning, and I dropped RQS off at the station an hour later than planned.  Given that I was presenting as Marian (as I prefer to do), I figured that it would be a good day to browse the racks at Lane Bryant.  So, I drove down to Pelham Manor instead of driving up to Poughkeepsie.  On the way there, I decided to get a car wash.  And yes, the car needed it!  I would have been happy with an exterior wash, but the standard wash included cleaning the inside of the car as well.  When the attendants were done, my trash bag had been disposed of, and all of the nooks and crannies I don't bother to keep clean were cleaned!  Can't complain much for $25.

Browsing through Lane Bryant, I saw only two things I'd want to buy.  The first was a sturdier denim jacket than the one I have now.  The second was a robe that coordinates well with one of the nighties I like to wear.  Neither of them said "buy me" given the price and sale type (BOGO, 50% off on the second piece.) I never buy at this price point as they expect you to buy 2 items at a combined discount of 25%.  Instead, I wait until I see things at 33% off (which tends to be a standard markdown), and preferably 40%-50% off.  It's a shame that the stores have trained people to shop for discounts instead of only having "Occasional Sales" from a standard price maintained through the season.  (J.C.Penney tried to shift customers to my way of seeing prices several years ago, and it backfired.  But then, the CEO at the time thought he could shift Penney's to a more upscale model and trashed the core business.)

Once done browsing, I returned home.  When I laid down for a short nap, my brother called.  He did well on his interview.  Hopefully, he will have a job offer within the next couple of weeks.  Keep your fingers crossed. 

I was dehydrated and didn't know it.

 

Last night, RQS and I went to dinner with my brother at an Oriental Buffet.  We ate enough food to feed an army, and my digestive system paid the price overnight.  I didn't notice that I had needed to drink some water when I woke up, and wasn't thinking of food or drink throughout the day.  This was my mistake, and I almost paid dearly for it when I went into the shower.

Around 3:00 pm, I stripped and went into the shower to freshen myself up to go outside.  In the middle of showering, I got a little dizzy and took extra care to keep my balance, finish my shower, and dry off before rushing to the kitchen to get a glass of orange juice.  While I was waiting for my metabolism to process the OJ, RQS got showered and dressed.  Then, I finished with my "morning" routine, got dressed, and prepared to go out to the supermarket for our evening meal. 

Today would be a day where I'd be going outside as Marian.  And the weather was perfect for wearing a casual summer dress.  It was nice to get out of my trousers and back into a dress again. I didn't choose any of my new dresses to wear.  I was in the mood to wear something plain and functional.  Maybe tomorrow, I'll break out one of my new dresses if the weather is right.   

Before going to the supermarket, we stopped for a burger at a local fast food joint, and that did the trick for me.  Within a half hour, I no longer was concerned about how I felt earlier in the day.  Both the liquids I consumed and the food I ate restored me to a state of normalcy.  After another 20 minute drive, we reached the supermarket and picked up some dinner. 

Did we eat the salmon we bought for dinner?  No.  We were still full from our lunch.  So, we had a little nibble, and decided to cook the salmon for tomorrow's dinner. 

I started off the day slow, but gained momentum through the day.

 

Today was a day where I woke up late, and did almost nothing throughout the day.  Did I fold laundry?  No.  Did I straighten out the apartment?  No.  But I finally got around to getting a domain name for my co-op's website, and finally have something ready for the world to see.

- - - - - -

The day started with me laying in bed shouting at my digital assistant to shut her mouth.  It only tries to wake me up on weekdays, and I wanted to sleep.  Begrudgingly, I got out of bed only for a bio-break, and then I was awake for the day.

Now that I was awake, I took a few minutes to be brought up to date with the latest news and turned it off when I was getting sick of what I was hearing.  (The snowflake's "Big Beautiful Bill" became uglier before the Senate bucked it back to the House.)  So, I turned on some mindless, or entertaining, or historical videos, and spent a good part of the day watching TV.  Eventually, I did a little bit of cleanup (not much), before deciding to get showered and dressed.

Before I was done getting dressed, my new printer arrived.  (I bought a cheap, open box laser printer that I could use while my other one is in the shop for warranty service.)  One could easily tell that this is an older printer model, as its control "screen" display is an unlit 2"x1.25" black on gray panel.  (I had to tilt the printer so that I could read what was on the screen.)  Unfortunately, I couldn't set up a true wireless connection.  But I could connect it to my LAN, and I did get things working after 45 minutes.

I put on the above dress knowing that it'd be warm outside, and drove down to Costco to see if there was anything worth buying.  As usual, I found some things I could use, but limited myself to things I thought I will likely use.  On the way out, I made the mistake of trying a couple of slices of Costco pizza.  It took 15 minutes from the time I ordered my pizza to the time I got it.  And it was NOT worth my wait.  I would have rather spent the time driving to a good pizzeria and spend a little more for better slices.

On the way home, I called DCD.  He's sounding good, but I don't want to get too close to him anymore.  The only thing he can do is to lean on others, as he will never be capable of taking care of himself again.  Yes, he's lonely.  At least, he's recuperating somewhere other than his ex-girlfriend's house.  As I reached Croton, I noticed that two exits were closed due to repaving on Riverside Avenue..Luckily, I knew to avoid the heart of Croton on my way home, so I arrived without incident.

- - - - - -

Tomorrow, it'll be a day spent in Mario mode.  (AARGH!)  my brother, RQS and I are going out to eat on Long Island.  It's just as well.  I haven't seen him in a while.  My only concern is to make it across the bridge before holiday traffic clogs things up. 

 

My brother says it's time for another Lobster Dinner

 

Normally, RQS and I joke about not being able to get to the Lobster Truck for our crustacean fix.  It's been a running joke of ours for quite a while, as we have often been away when the truck is near one of us.  Tonight, my brother said that we should get together over the holiday weekend (which should have passed by the time you read this) and go out for dinner.  This fouled up my plans for the weekend, but it is a good opportunity to feast.

Due to expected holiday related traffic, I'd have to drive down to RQS's place the day before the holiday and find a parking spot before all of the available spots are taken up by residents of her area.  And then, we'd drive out to Long Island to meet my brother, then spend more time getting to the restaurant where we'd be feasting.

- - - - - -

My original plan for the week was to take care of Monday tasks (dropping RQS off at her place, bringing in a printer for factory service, and doing laundry), then apply polish to my fingernails.  Well, my brother's call shot the nail polish idea to hell until the weekend.  But it did give more time to share with RQS, even though it took away a day I'd spend in a dress. Is it worth it to wear trousers to enjoy lobster on someone else's dime?  Yes.  My sister in law will not be home for at least one month (long story, best not told here right now).  So my brother is all alone.  That means that I must make some time to be with him. 

Working in a job which will de-materialize in a month or two is very stressful.  The firm my brother works for misled him about the time he'd end up working.  He told them that he was taking the job to have more time with his wife.  (Not exactly true, but a good excuse for switching jobs.)  Yet, he was working 60 hour weeks at his peak.  He is burnt out.  Yet, unless he finds something, he is stuck in his hell hole until they execute a planned employee purge.

When I talked with RQS this evening, I said that I was very glad we are both retired.  Several years ago, a degree in Computer Science would guarantee that a graduate would land a high paying job.  Today, it's another almost worthless piece of paper due to the Artificial Intelligence (AI) revolution.  There is no way I could retool and compete in this world.  Yet, my brother has to rush to build up his nest egg so that he can retire.

At least, this upcoming weekend's lobster dinner will be expensed to the business we jointly own, and not come out of this retiree's wallet....

Lots of little stuff, but nothing of major importance.

 

This was "one of those days."  No, it was not a disastrous day.  Instead, it was a day where everything was a little bit off, and led me not to accomplish much.

- - - - - -

I may have mentioned that my apartment's super was coming over today to work on the bathtub water faucets.   To do this, I had to be up early, so that I could be ready anytime he was to come.  This meant that I would be dressing as Mario today, as I would be able to take care of some errands that required the presence of me in boy mode.

Once dressed, I put two loads of laundry into the wash, and then took care of errands.  Between the time I put clothes into the wash and then the dryer, I picked up some lunch.  Once the clothes were in the dryer, I deposited $440 in checks and took out $140 in cash to pay my super for his time and materials.  Laundry was done by 1 pm, so I had the time to sit and relax in the apartment until the super came.

This would be the first time I payed loose attention to the work my super was doing in the bathroom.  An hour later, I had learned a couple of things about bathroom plumbing, as well as having a plumbing fixture that should last a few years.  The super only asked for $50 to cover the parts he bought.  But I slipped him an extra $50 to help compensate him for his effort (even though it was done on co-op time).

Now that I had a working faucet again, I could rest.  Then TCL (The Cat Lady, as I call her) called just before I was about to take a short nap.  While on the phone, I found that I got an email from NYS Office of Unclaimed Funds - we need 2 more documents before they can send us any money.  That's OK with me, but I don't have access to certain things, and I forwarded the email to my brother for his opinion.

- - - - - -

Thankfully, the weather will be cooler tomorrow, and I will feel better about going outside - if it doesn't rain.... 

This past weekend was too short

 

Laffing Sal.  RQS and I will likely be visiting her when we next visit San Francisco.  Although she is a simple, decades old animatron, she is the best symbol of San Francisco's Musee Mechanique at Pier 45. For me, seeing her in person says I am really in "Fog City" and am ready for a great adventure.

Why do I mention his mechanical wonder?

RQS and I are counting down the days until our next two cruises (the first to Canada and the second to Alaska.) This limits the time I can help my brother with work that has to be done on the family homestead before we can rent it out.  This past weekend, I cut a weekend with RQS short, so I could help my brother with the house.

I knew I would have one problem.  Not doing any dirty work around the apartment, I don't have any clothes I can sacrifice for painting the basement.  And I'm glad my brother gave me an out, saying that I can keep him company while he finishes applying "mud" to the drywall, so that he can paint it during the week.  Hopefully, we can get the work finished before mid June, so that we may have someone renting the place by August.

After my brother was done with the work on the house, we drove to a buffet and enjoyed a good meal.  I rarely go to buffets, as I eat too much.  But here, the food was worth it - including the Asian Snails.  This visit, I skipped the sushi in favor of hot food.  Yet, I knew I'd pay for the indulgence later on.  

All too soon, the day ended, and it was time to go home.  Tomorrow, I'll go to my first meetup in a while.

More work on the family homestead.

 

This was a day where I needed my car, and hated this need.  My plan was to drop RQS off at the hairdresser, and then drive to Long Island to work on the family homestead.  But traffic jams got in the way, and it took me over an hour for a 30 minute trip due to the fact that it was "Samuel L Jackson" day.  (It's better than me saying it's "Mother's" day in his eloquently vulgar way!)  Being serious, there were many more cars than usual on the highways today, all people looking to see their moms to celebrate the unofficial holiday.

When I eventually arrived at the family homestead, my brother wasn't there.  He was running late because he had to pick up a mop, bucket, and some other things needed for house cleaning.  When he arrived, we sat down for a bite of the Hamburgular's and Grimace's finest (McD's Quarter Pounder and Big Mac) before starting work for the day.  We swept out the main floor, then I got to work mopping that last layer of dust and dirt off the floor while my brother did lawn mowing and other landscaping tasks outside.  And then, after several days, my GI Tract said that it wouldn't cooperate with me any more.  This resulted in an emergency visit to the hardware store to get the things I needed to clean up the bathroom.  AARGH!

Once we were done with our tasks, we said goodbye to each other and went our own ways.  There was a lot of traffic on the roads, but I was able to find a route with minimal traffic to get home.  As for my brother, he decided to get a haircut, as he had an important appointment in the morning.  When I finally got home, my neighbor's Mother's Day party had broken up, and I had to wait a couple of minutes before I could climb the steps to my apartment.  I was finally home!  And I did nothing for the rest of the evening.

- - - - - -

Tomorrow, I'll have to take care of some banking business for the co-op.  This means I'll be in Mario mode for the morning, but will be able to switch into Marian mode for the afternoon and get my nails done.  I'm looking forward to this.

Steak dinner with Vicki

 

Vicki and I scheduled a second Restaurant Week dinner at Benjamin Steakhouse in White Plains.  Neither of us had been here before, and we wanted to have a good meal to make up for last week's disappointment at Saint George. So, I took out one of my unworn Universal Standard dresses, and dressed up a little for the evening.  (Too bad I didn't take a selfie - the dress looked quite nice on me.)

- - - - - -

It was my turn to pick Vicki up at her place.  So, I drove to her place around 5:30 and waited a few minutes for her to come out of her house.  On the way down to the restaurant, we talked about my brother, his upcoming trip, and the family homestead.  It was a pleasant chat, but Vicki got in the way of my driving by suggesting where I should turn (or not turn) when near the steakhouse.  This was not a big deal.  But it shows in a subtle way a hidden side of her personality - her intelligence can be a weapon if she wants to use it that way.  Luckily, I knew enough about the area to get us to the place on time and to hand my keys to the valet for parking.

We entered the place and were quickly shown to our table around 6:30. Within a few minutes both our drink orders and dinner orders were taken. Shortly afterward, our starters were delivered - a wedge salad for her and lobster bisque for me. Both were very good. Vicki commented on the atmosphere of the place, loving almost everything except for the reflected sounds which made it hard to speak.  Once done with our main courses came - Filet Mignon for her and NY Strip for me. Again, both were very good.  So far, this place succeeded in both the quality of the food and in service. When we finished our mains, the waiter came over to take our dessert orders - chocolate cake for Vicki and cheesecake for me. Both were very good, and on a par with the rest of our meals.  This will be a place we go back to again when restaurant week comes again, or for special occasions.  

On the way home, Vicki talked about the medical problems her dog is having.  For a 3 year old, he has gotten quite expensive.  But like most fur parents, Vicki loves her dogs and will do almost anything for them.  As for me, I am done with raising fur babies, as I love being able to travel at will - money permitting.

 

An overly short weekend (and a short post)

 

Yes, I know that this is not 2016.  But I wanted to illustrate that this past weekend was way too short for me.  Only being able to be with RQS on Friday night and Saturday wasn't good enough for me.  At least, I was able to get back to her for dinner on Sunday before going home for the night.

But first....

I had agreed to help my brother with power washing the foundation walls again at the family homestead, as the concrete he used for patching the interior wall was faulty and didn't hold up.  So I told RQS that we'd have a short weekend.  Strangely enough, we didn't do much of anything other than rest.  That was good enough for me, as I'd be working much of the afternoon on Sunday.

Sunday eventually came, and I had to give up a good parking spot in RQS's neighborhood to meet my brother.  After an aborted visit to Mickey D's due to their order kiosks not working for me, we went to the local Burger King - where the touch pads worked.  (Note to me: Do not let one's anger out at the crappy Mickey D's order kiosk - they force their franchisees to buy shitty hardware which annoys both the customer and the franchisee.  Note to reader: If you want to know if a McD's soft serve is working at a particular site, use the mcbroken.com site.)

Once done with our burgers, it was off to the family homestead for 3 hours of work.  This time, the power washing and new concrete seem to do the job.  My brother will apply a skim coat during the week, and will hopefully apply paint after he comes back from a quick trip to the back woods of Appalachia.

Quitting time came, and my brother was off to his wife, and I was off to RQS.  Although I could find a parking spot or two, I could not find one that would let me sleep late in the morning.  So I found a space nearby the house, and went upstairs for dinner.  All too soon, I had to leave, and I had an easy drive home until I hit the draw bridge on the Hutchinson River Parkway.  I lost 30 minutes in that jam.  And yet, even with a shopping trip at Walmart and the Supermarket, I was home shortly after 10 pm.  

Unfortunately, I'll have to go back to Long Island in the morning for the plumber, and then finally go home.  At least, I can see the day where I can again go out as Marian....

A trip I was glad not to make (a short post)

 

As I've previously written, I own a rental property with my brother, and he is managing repairs to it before it is rented out again.  This past weekend, my brother would have liked for me to help him with work on repairing the foundation walls - patching the holes with new concrete and possibly applying a new coat of paint as a sealer.  Well, I wasn't available because of RQS's birthday, and he had to make other plans.

My brother is well connected with the fire department, and can usually get a few friends to help him for couple of C-Notes each per day.  This weekend, his friends weren't available, and he had to reach out to my step-nephew, B, for help.  To me, B is as useful as the Pope's balls - they both have the potential of doing something useful, but because of individual choices, they have vestigial existences.  So, my brother figured that he'd try to get some use out of B, and avoid losing a week by using B as a laborer.

The plan for the day was for my brother and B to do some work in the basement.  Once the walls had been power washed again, my brother sent B out in the yard to do some minor landscaping while he patched walls with concrete.  Four hours later, work was done and our account was $100 lighter.  Sadly, the concrete my brother used was found to be bad, and we will need to repeat this work next weekend.

. 

I understand why people feel overwhelmed these days

 

The above picture was taken at a meetup with a group who now has gatherings when I am not free to attend due to scheduling conflicts.  Trying to live life around other's schedules and needs gets exhausting for many, and it's easy to see how many people (like my brother) get overwhelmed by life.  And I got to thinking this morning about how retirement doesn't always free us from our responsibilities to others, and the sacrifices we make to fulfill those responsibilities.

In my case, I've had to make a trade-off - go to meetups, or have a relationship with RQS.  Which would you drop?  If you said RQS, I'd slap you from here to next Tuesday.  She's a keeper.  But this has me run the risk of not being able to travel while I'm able to do so, as her health seems to be on the wane.  Even with healthy eating, her body is betraying her.  Do you think I'd want to give up on travel if something more important would get in the way?

While we're on the subject of travel, most of my readers know that I have often traveled as a female who carries male id.  With the current administration in Washington, I'm not sure of how long I can do this.  All it takes is for some person wanting to impress his supervisors by excessive use of authority to hassle me, and everything could fall apart in my life.  I now have to think whether I should travel as a female for one upcoming cruise I plan to take.

Yet, my problems pale in comparison to others.  For example, my brother's car was totaled (through no negligence of his own - his car was stopped at a light when someone hit him), his job is both life draining and a time suck, his volunteer efforts take up time, he manages the family homestead that we rent out, and he returns to a home which is not a refuge for him. RQS has to manage two life threatening ailments that could both cripple her and cause her to have an early death.  Since both ailments run in both her blood lines, she is scared. And these are only two of the people close to me.  Many others have it much worse than this.

Turning on the TV or radio is no escape, as we are bombarded by the latest atrocities going on in the world.  The orange snowflake keeps trying to destroy the rule of law in the US, while his actions are destroying the security enjoyed by Americans that took generations to build up.  Yes, globalization without a good social safety net has resulted in a lot of broken lives.  But a return to a society where no social safety net exists would be even worse for us.  It's bad enough when one person loses a job.  But when entire states lose large percentages of their work forces due to social, environmental, and economic change, how can people cope?  It's hard to feed, clothe and house one's family if no jobs are available, much less even afford proper health care.  No wonder why many in the "Red States" live in fear of losing what little they have - they have always lived as serfs tied to the estates of nobility which never cared about their subjects.

 

If I were speaking to an audience of "Minorities" who complain about being victimized, I'd say 

Get over it!

This does not mean to ignore those things that drain your soul.  Instead, I want for people to conquer their problems and take control over what they can in their lives.  We can not control what life puts in our way.  But we can control how we react when we encounter these problems.  Yet, sometimes, taking charge may involve doing the unthinkable.  Years ago, the wife of a close friend was dying of the same type of cancer which claimed my wife's life.  When she could no longer swallow any food and was in constant untreatable pain, she had to make an impossible decision - do I choose life or do I choose death?  Many people would tell her to get doped up for the pain, and live the rest of her few remaining days in hospice without any quality of life.  Without children to care for and a husband who could live without her, she chose to end her life while it still had meaning for her.  (I was with her husband when this happened.)  I don't know if I could have done what she did.  But I hope I could do it, instead of wasting away in a hospital bed, burning money that I'd rather go to my heirs.

 

Please note that I first focused on the exception to my rule instead of the rule I apply to my life. I feel that it is my duty to try and conquer what problems life puts in front of me.  It's hard enough getting by these days.  And for my transgender friends who read this blog, I say: 

 Don't Give Up!  

This too shall pass.

Some people may have to bear a heavier load in life than others.  But you don't have to break under the pressure.  Try to set limits.  Ration your media consumption.  Avoid "Friends" who are "Debbie Downers".  Find people and places which recharge your batteries when you are around them.  Even if you can't limit your responsibility to a ailing relative or friend, you must find time to nurture yourself. Just keep looking for hope, and you shall find it.

 

 

Parting is such sweet sorrow

 

So many odds and ends for people to catch up on, and I'm in the middle of many of them.

Let me explain.... 

I've been there for RQS through 2 emergency room visits, and forced diet changes caused by her ailments.  This is not a problem for me, as I need to have less ultra-processed food in my diet.  However, it may crimp our style when we choose places to eat for our once (or more) per week nights out.  In many ways, this will be a good thing, as I will need to clean much of the crap out of my cupboard, replacing it with healthy foods.

Before leaving RQS today, we decided on a place where we will have her birthday dinner.  It's a nice restaurant where we've held two of our co-op board's yearly dinners.  Since it will be the first weekend of Hudson Valley Restaurant week, I figured that we could have a nice dinner for a little less than I'd normally pay for such a dinner.

When I got home, I texted my brother to ask him how the house is coming along.  Well, we may have to make some hard decisions, so that we can rent the place out as soon as possible.  It looks like my brother's car got totaled by some idiot kid driving recklessly on a side street while my brother was patiently waiting for a light.  Given his workload, etc. I wasn't going to push him for information for my taxes.  However, he said that he should have things ready soon.  And I made arrangements to help him with work on the house next weekend - something I hate doing, but needs to be done.

I wish I could have stayed with RQS another day, but I have a doctor's appointment in the morning.  If I make the time AND get my bedroom cleaned up enough to have my bed delivered on Tuesday, I may decide to go into the city and see an old movie, completely recut and reedited with never seen footage - Caligula: The Ultimate Cut.  Will this end up being the final version of this production?  I doubt it.  Although this version has much of Bob Guccione's porn removed, it is still a flawed film.  Yet, I'll bet that someone will rework the film into something better than the the 2 versions that currently exist for sale.

It's been a long weekend, and I'm almost glad it's over

 

I'll bet that RQS was feeling like this on her way home today.  On Friday, she had lost her cell phone, and we drove to Queens on Saturday to retrieve it.  Most of the remaining weekend was spent resting, recharging ourselves for the week ahead.

But why do I mention this?

My brother had a busier weekend than I did.  My nephew lives on the west coast, and my brother went out there for a competition my nephew participated in.  As expected, my nephew did well, and is preparing for the next step in his competitive career.  This meant that my brother didn't have the time to take care of paperwork I needed, nor did he have the time to recharge his batteries after an over-full week at work.  There was no way I was going to pester my brother for paperwork with the stuff he has going on in his life.  Instead, I made sure to talk about my nephew for 20 minutes before asking any questions such as: Did my brother have the chance to find my grandmother's death certificate? Of course, he also had an answer for my unasked question.  And we then proceeded to talk about priorities for the rental property we jointly own.

- - - - - -

When RQS finally made it home, she found something in her mailbox - jury duty pay.  Someone had pilfered the original check sent to her, so she had to file a claim for the money owed to her.  Now, she can afford to treat me to a fine dinner at l'Arca del Oro. (That's Mickey D's, for those who don't get the reference.)  She's in a better place than she was a week ago.  And now, I gave her a much more pleasant task than the doctors did last week - choosing a restaurant to go to for Hudson Valley Restaurant Week (HVRW).

Last night, I had a disagreement with my brother.

 

My brother and I had a stiff disagreement last night, and it got me to thinking that we should sell the rental property we jointly own.  He is overworked, over-tasked, and overwhelmed.  And all I was asking him to do was to take care of the financials for the property, so that I can get my taxes done by April 15th.  Today, he called to apologize for getting upset, and I gracefully accepted the apology.  (I won't tell him that he triggered my emotional walls to go up and prepare for the absolute worst to happen.)

- - - - - - 

We are in the process of getting the house ready for another rental.  Recently, we were told that we need a new hot water installed.  This will cost about $3,000 or so, excluding permits. When the permits were filed for, we encountered another problem - our dad had converted the house from oil to gas heat.  But the paperwork wasn't marked as complete in the town offices, and we have more headaches because of things that happened years ago.

 

The work was done, but it appears that the final inspection wasn't taken care of.  So, my brother is contacting the plumbing firm that took care of the boiler install years ago, and we hope to get this resolved without spending too much money.  Once this is done, the new permit for the hot water heater could be issued, and we could finally be done with some of the work that's needed for the house.

- - - - - -

Looking at work we need to take care of , I feel that we need to replace windows in the basement, followed by installing a half-bath in the basement.  This way, we can up the rent and recover what we put into the house this year.

Right now, I have the money in my bank accounts to fund the work on my own if needed.  But that's not how things work.  My brother has to find ways of financing his home maintenance as well as financing his share of this house's maintenance.  This makes me glad that I only have to worry about my co-op board responsibilities, leaving general financing issues to a party of others.

I'm glad that I never bought a townhouse or detached home....

 

 

 

 

Eastern Caribbean Cruise - Debarkation Day (02/02/25)

 

Our ship was situated outside New York harbor until roughly 5 am, when the ship started to make port in Brooklyn and end our cruise. The above picture was taken from the ship's port side camera's TV feed.  It's far from the same view when taken from a balcony cabin.

- - - - - -

Neither RQS nor I got enough sleep overnight, and I was awake from 3 am onwards.  Around 7 am, we went to the main dining room for one last time for breakfast.  A lady at the table next to us was on the same cruise I was on for my first MSC cruise, and had similar opinions as I did regarding that cruise. Luckily for us, this cruise was much better all around - the food was better and the entertainment was better.  Yet, service was still hit or miss. Our conversation turned to the day's politics, and people at the table next to her joined in - none of us liked what the Orange Snowflake was doing in DC.

Once breakfast was over, we killed time waiting for our disembarkation group to be called.  Our number was called shortly before 9:30 am, and we proceeded to pick up our luggage and kill time inside the terminal, avoiding having to spend excess time in the cold waiting for a ferry that would take us to Atlantic avenue where we'd summon an Uber.  I noticed that staff was allowing handicapped people to take a shortcut and bypass the snaking line leading to the Customs/Immigration stations on our way out of the building.  So I told RQS to take out her cane, and we saved 15 minutes which we'd spend waiting for the ferry. The ferry came at 10:35, and we were at Atlantic avenue by 11 am, and the Uber got us back to RQS's place by 11:30 am.  However, I would still have to wait before I could go home - my brother couldn't pick me up until 4 pm.  So, I rested a while, and my brother arrived when expected.  

We were at the family homestead 30 minutes later, and we discussed what was needed to bring the house up to snuff for rental.  In addition to absolutely needed repairs, we may end up adding a half bath in the basement to increase the rent we can charge. Then, finally, I loaded my bags into my car and drove home.  With a stop for dinner and some food shopping factored in, it didn't take me long to get home.  Finally, I can sleep in my own bed again!

Lunch and Dinner, or: Where are the police when you need them?

 

I had two things on the docket for today.  But the thing of most interest today was an accident that almost happened.

- - - - -

I woke up around 9 am, not having much sleep last night.  So I took my time getting ready to go out to see Vicki for a late lunch.  But first, I had to shovel out the snow around my car.  That involved getting dressed as Mario, clearing the show off the car, and shoveling a clear path to the plowed section of the driveway.  Luckily, the snow wasn't too heavy, and I was able to get this done in 20 minutes.

After a brief stop for breakfast, I went home to shower and get dressed as Marian.  And then, it was off to Mt. Kisco to meet Vicki for lunch.  Arriving at the restaurant, I found that the meters weren't working today, as it was a Federal holiday.  Even though I was glad to see Vicki, I really wasn't in the mood to talk politics, as there's nothing we could do to avoid the upcoming 4 year disaster.

Once done with lunch, I drove over to Route 684, and was about to make a "California Stop" at the light for a right turn on red, so that I could get on the highway.  There was a police car to my left and an idiot that sped up along the shoulder and almost hit me as I was starting to make a right turn onto the highway.  (If I had started movement to the entrance ramp even 1 second earlier, my car would have been totaled.)  As I made my turn, the police car turned across traffic, sped past me, then pulled the idiot over before he got on the highway.  Boy, was I relieved!  The idiot was about to get what he rightly deserved - a very expensive ticket!

Next, I killed time at Starbucks before going to the meetup for dinner. Unfortunately, most of the people who reserved a place at dinner bailed without notice, and only 3 of us were there for dinner.  By the time I finished my cheeseburger, I was stuffed.  I couldn't eat another bite. 

On the way home, my brother and I chatted about the house we rent out.  Now that the tenants are gone, there are some improvements we may make.  Will it cost money?  Yes.  But we should recoup our money relatively quickly.  And then he got to talking about what should happen when my sister in law passes (hopefully, she will go first).  It makes sense for him to sell his homestead at that time due to the $500k tax exclusion he'd have that year, then take some of his capital gains to buy me out.  He'd live in the family homestead for a few years, and then repeat the process to get more tax free money out of his home equity.  

It was a good day.  But it certainly didn't go as I expected. 

- - - - - -

On other matters....

Sadly, the Orange Snowflake has been inaugurated, and he has already made some anti-transgender statements.  Hopefully, my readers who have needed to get their gender marker on their personal IDs updated, have already done so before today.  I think it will be at least 4 years before people will be able to do this for Federally issued documents again.