Other than driving North, this was a do-nothing day. (a short post)

 

I had originally thought that RQS and I would have come up to Croton last night, and I'd be spending the rest of the weekend in Marian mode.  Plans got changed, as we ended up sleeping in Queens on Saturday, then running a couple of errands in Queens before driving North.

On the way back to my place, I called my brother's place and reached my sister in law.  Although she has her own issues, she gave me her interpretation of what is going on with her and my brother - and it's not good.  Hopefully, something will happen to bring them closer together instead of driving them apart.

Once done with my sister in law, we went to BJ's and put a major dent into each of our wallets.  And finally, we were back at my place.

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Seeing some of the TG blogs I often read, they are now running scared of the incoming administration.  I plan to be out and about as Marian as long as I feel safe.  But the minute I think it's not safe, I may shut down this blog - and pray for the best.  Until then, please don't despair.  Even when evil runs the world, it burns itself out over time.  We just have to be cautious in these troubled times, helping each other as needed when needed.

A return to the Norman Rockwell Museum

 

This past Saturday would be a long day with my brother.  We had tried to get together on a weekend for a while for a road trip to the Norman Rockwell Museum.  Since I've seen the exhibition before, I figured that I'd look at things I didn't look at before, and let him wander around the place while I sat and took a load off my feet.

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I set my alarms to wake me around 8 am, so that I could be at our meeting place by 10:30 am.  It's hard to believe that I was early for a change, but I arrived at the parking lot around 10:15 and killed time waiting for him.  Unfortunately, he hit a lot of traffic, and didn't get to the lot until 11 am.  (It also didn't help that Google Maps gave him bad driving instructions.  But I digress.)

Once we were on the road, it took us a little over 2 hours to reach the museum.  (We were careful not to feed the bears.  We passed at least 3 "Smokeys" handing out citations on our way up.)  It was the perfect day for such a drive: traffic flowed smoothly and fast, there were no clouds in the sky, and it was the perfect temperature to drive to the Berkshires on an autumn day.  Eventually, we made it to the museum, and we went inside.

My brother took in all the exhibits slowly, while I picked and chose what I wanted to see next.  I didn't try to take everything in on this visit.  Instead, I looked for the exhibits that interested me most, and took some pictures before sitting down to ease my back pain.  Once we were done, I went to their shop and bought a couple of books related to the art of Mad, and then we departed the museum to find some lunch.

Once in Stockbridge, it was hard to find a vacant parking spot.  But we got lucky.  However, we did not find much in the way of open restaurants that weren't crowded at the time.  Yet, after a little bit of walking, we found a place to sit down for lunch.  (I won't mention where the place is, but as Arlo sang, "it's just a half of a mile from the railroad tracks.")  Sadly, Alice left the building many years before, and its current proprietors serve good food with mediocre service - so I will look for other dining venues when next in town.

After our late lunch, it was time to drive home.  I shared some of the driving duties, as my brother needed to nap a bit.  Boy, does he saw wood!  This wasn't as bad as I made it sound.  But he was tired, and he'd still have 90 minutes of driving ahead of him when he dropped me off at my car.  I was home by 6:30 or so, while he got home by 7:45.  (Again, he hit a lot of traffic.)  I was home in time to do laundry, but I didn't bother with this.  I could do it on Monday when I have some time.....

I finally saw the sequel. It was pleasant, but....

 

I had planned to go out as Marian today, but my lethargy got in the way.  However, I started packing my suitcase for an upcoming cruise (as Marian), and then decided to go out to the movies to see Beetlejuice Beetlejuice.

But first....

As usual as of late, the sun woke me up.  This is not always a good thing, as I still am unable to fall asleep until well after midnight.  Although it could be caffeine related, I don't remember drinking any caffeinated soda after 6 pm. If anything, it was because I was watching a documentary about San Francisco's exotic dancer, Carol Doda.  Who'd have thought that this woman could have gotten so far just by taking off her clothes?  (Watch the film on Amazon Prime.  It's worth the time.)

So, this morning I woke up early, and took it easy most of the day.  Around mid afternoon, I started to pack things I'd need for my upcoming cruise.  Packing underwear and hosiery is easy.  Choosing dresses I can wear in Bermuda is something else.  Although the weather in the NYC suburbs ranges from a low in the 30's to a high in the 60's, Bermuda is warmer at this time of year.  So, one has to dress for weather that is 10 to 15 degrees warmer, yet be prepared for cooler weather.

Now that I got started with packing, and inventoried what I will likely need on a 7-Day cruise, it was time to take care of other things for a while before getting dressed.  Since I would be going out as Mario tomorrow (my brother and I are going to a museum), I figured that I'd go out as Mario tonight to both get a bite to eat and see a movie.

The first thing I did when out was to gas up the car, and I had an overflow that got on my hand.  AARGH.  This would get in the way of getting a bit to eat on the way to the movies.  Instead, I had to rush to the taco joint to wash my hands before ordering anything to eat.  Once I was done, I needed to kill some time before the late show.  So I took a drive, did an early chat with RQS and then went inside the theater for almost 30 minutes of ads before the movie started.

Beetlejuice Beetlejuice is a pleasant sequel to the first film, where there are a lot of references to the first film to help people interested in the film.  If you liked the first film, you will like the second.  However, don't expect it to be as good as the first.  Additionally, you will see a setup for a third film at the end of this film.  I just hope they don't do it.

A meetup on a weeknight for a change

 

Lately, there haven't been that many dining meetups held on weeknights.  Since I am booked most weekends, it's been a long while since I've been out to eat with any of my groups.  So, tonight was a refreshing change of pace.

- - - - - -

Since RQS had stayed over until Tuesday morning, I decided to cancel attending Monday night's meetup with this group.  So I figured that I should get off my butt to attend tonight's gathering.  Only one problem - I was tired, and could have used another couple of hours napping on the couch.  But I made myself get up then got showered, made up and dressed to go out around 5:30.

Luckily, the meetup was in a restaurant 20 minutes from home.  Although parking wasn't hard to find, it wasn't as close to the restaurant as I'd have liked - the lot is shared with commuters, and they don't start clearing out until 6:30 pm.  So I had to walk a little more than I wanted to get inside.

As one can see from the picture above, there is a caboose on the left and an old coach car on the right.  The former Valhalla railroad station between them is the main body of the restaurant, with both non-mobile pieces of rolling stock now being used as dining areas.  Once inside, I looked to the left and saw my meetup group inside.  It was nice to be wearing a dress to dinner, as it will soon be too cold to dress as feminine as I'd like.

After greeting my fellow diners, I perused the menu to see if there was something interesting I'd like to eat.  There was, but I made a mistake in choosing it.  It's October, and the restaurant had Oktoberfest specials to choose from, and I selected the Wiener-schnitzel with a side Caesar salad.  I should have gone for the cheeseburger instead.When the Wiener-schnitzel arrived, the server didn't even know what it was, much less how to pronounce the name of the dish.  So the dish ended going back and forth between our table and the kitchen until someone realized that the waitress didn't know what the specials were.  I should have gone for the cheeseburger.  Not only was the schnitzel leathery and overcooked, but the potato pancakes served with it were devoid of moisture and flavor.  I should have gone for the cheeseburger!  But the Cookies and Cream ice cream truffle was pleasant.  Too bad I didn't go for the cheeseburger first....

- - - - - -

Once done with dinner, it was off to the supermarket to do some shopping.  While on the way, I chatted with my brother, confirming a visit to the Norman Rockwell Museum this weekend.  It'll be nice to spend the day with him, although it would have been nicer for me to spend the day with RQS visiting a few Open House NY sites.  Well, maybe next year....

Bermuda Cruise 2024 #1 - Disembarkation Day (10/06/24)

 

This morning, we returned to the Brooklyn Cruise Terminal. Here's the best view I could get of the ship before we got on the ferry at Red Hook.  But first....

Begrudgingly, RQS and I got up at 5:30 am in order to be out of our cabin by 7:30 am.  So, both of us finished repacking our carry-on bags, got showered and dressed, then headed off to the main dining room for our last breakfast on the ship.  After 7 days, we finally have the knack of getting what we want from the ship, and we'll miss ship life for a while.  Once done with breakfast, it was time to wait for a while, as our disembarkation group was not scheduled to be called until 9:45 am or so.

Having cruised with MSC before, I knew that we could wait in the "handicapped waiting area" across from the main dining room.  RQS and I asked if we could wait there instead of going to the theater and dealing with stairs, and then going back to the other end of the ship to leave it for the last time.  We were told we were welcome to wait in this area, and RQS was able to catch up on her reading for an hour and a half. 

Finally, our boarding group was called and we proceeded into the cruise terminal.  Compared with the task of finding our bags in the Manhattan Cruise Terminal, doing this in Brooklyn was easy, as luggage is scattered over a larger area and is easier to find. Once I located our luggage, it was off to US Customs' stations to be processed, and then we were free to leave the terminal.

Once out of the terminal, we figured that we'd skip the headache of dealing with getting an Uber at the pier. Instead, we'd deal with the headache of cars getting in and out of the cruise terminal area by taking the ferry to the Atlantic Avenue/Brooklyn Bridge park (Pier 6) and getting our Uber outside of the Brooklyn Marine Terminal area.  After waiting 45 minutes for the ferry to come, we took the ferry to its next stop, got off, and summoned an Uber.  The car arrived just 5 minutes later - we likely saved the driver at least 15 minutes (each way) by picking us up a mile away from the pier, saving us $30 as well!

We arrived at RQS's place at 11:30 am, and it was time to call my brother to pick me up.  He arrived at 12:30 pm, and I was on my way home with a stop at my brother's house to have lunch.  Around 3:00 pm, I was on my way home, and got there in a little over an hour.  Once I brought my bags upstairs, it was time to fall out for a couple of hours, as I needed some well earned rest....

Some random thoughts

 

Right now, I'm thinking about what will happen if Trump wins the election.  And it doesn't look good for anyone in the LGBTIQ community.  Recently, I  found a map of states which have passed "Bathroom Bills", and these tend to be the states which seem the most extreme in "traditional values".  One thing I've learned over the years is that when religion becomes too powerful (or too weak) a force in society, that society becomes more authoritarian in enforcing conformity.

Does this affect me?  You bet it does!  And it could get much worse if these religious radicals get even more power in a Trump administration.

Looking at the map, I found that my going to the loo in Florida was a criminal act.  Given that all trans people need to take bio-breaks now and then, it would be risky for me to get off a cruise ship in this state. This has placed an artificial restriction on how I visit this state - if I do visit it at all.  Just because I can still visit in stealth mode doesn't mean that I want to do this.  Instead, I'll avoid this state altogether, with the exception of when RQS and I visit her sister.

- - - - - -

Right now, my brother and I are looking to file paperwork to have dual citizenship with the US and one nation in Europe.  Both of us are doing this for completely different reasons.  Yet, both of us have the same goal - to have a place to escape to if the crud hits the fan in the United States.  Could this happen?  Sadly, the answer is yes.  When I see ominous parallels between this country and the Germany of 100 years ago, I get worried. Sometimes, it's just best to be able to get out of Dodge City before sundown.

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Not all is gloom and doom with me.  The other day, I had an fMRI done as part of a scientific study. Now that the study is underway, I received an Amazon gift certificate which is enough for me to replace a dying TV I have in the house.  The software I have to use on a daily basis is fun to use, albeit not excitingly so.  (I guess I am no longer into video games in the way I once was when younger.) 

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Dealing with bureaucracy can be a big pain.  Recently, as mentioned above, my brother got a bug up his behind that we needed to accelerate the progress in getting a second passport.  To do this, we need to get official copies of our birth certificates and that of our father.  I told my brother that I needed copies of our father's death certificate (I know how large bureaucracies work with official paperwork) before I went down to the city.  He forgot to send me this paperwork, and I knew that I wouldn't be able to get our father's birth certificate for a few weeks.

My brother has way too much on his plate right nw, and he needs to feel that he's in control.  He told me of a problem that took 20 years to develop, and that he expects to clean it up in 2 years.  He may be able to clean up his firm's mess, but it will take longer for him (or someone else) to change the corporate culture that caused the problem.  He doesn't see that, as he focuses on the financial side of things and not the people side of things.

- - - - - -

RQS found a cruise to New England and Eastern Canada that we wanted to take in September.  Although I could afford to drop $1,200 on a whim, I knew that RQS spending this kind of coin now would get in her way of being able to afford next year's Alaska cruise.  After sending her some financial details, she realized that we would not be able to get the price of the cruise down to a level she could afford.  But damn!  The cruise was so near, and yet so far.

We certainly could use a cruise this winter.  I was thinking of taking a cheap MSC cruise and paying for RQS as a Christmas or Birthday present.  However, the cruises offered by MSC stop in Florida, and I certainly don't want to deal with Florida's bathroom laws while traveling as Marian.  I guess that we will need to find another trip to take early next year.

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When I bought my car, the salesman "helpfully" set up the radio presets in my car, as well as setting up my first service appointment.  One problem - I had to redo the presets to organize them the way I wanted and I had to schedule car maintenance earlier than he planned.  His "help" wasn't that helpful, as I now have a service appointment scheduled that I'll have to cancel soon.

While I'm thinking about my car, I shudder to think of how the auto companies will try to turn car features from purchase options to subscription options.  GM is trying to ditch Android Auto and Apple Car Ply, so that they can convert services provided by Google and Apple for FREE, and making the car owner pay for Maps, directions, etc when in the car.  I guess this may mean that I'll have to keep my car on the road longer than the 8 years I planned. 

Why do I want to replace my car within 8 years?  New York, like California is trying to force people to switch to EVs from ICE vehicles (EV- Electric, ICE - Internal Combustion Engine).  I want to buy what will likely be my last car while I can still get a gas powered vehicle.  I'll bet dollars to donuts that we will not have sufficient electric infrastructure in place to support the ICE->EV transition by 2035.  

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Enough for now.   I hope you enjoyed some of my thoughts.....

 

Being rudely awakened

 

This morning, I was enjoying a moment of relaxed semi-consciousness when my alarm went off to remind me to take my morning pills.  If that wasn't bad enough, my land line rang and a car salesman called to find out whether or not I was still interested in buying a new car. And then, my brother called to ask me what I thought of a house in Florida he was interested in buying to run as an AirBnb.   AARGH!

Of course, this wake-up call ruined my day.  Later on in the day, my brother called again.  Seems like he found a house that he'd like to rent out, and have me make a $100k investment with him.  He's thinking of renting the place out for a few years, and then use it as a retirement home. The last thing I want is to take this much of a risk with my money, especially when dealing with Florida real estate.  I don't know the region that well, and I don't trust the market in Port St. Lucie.  Ex-GF-M's parents used to live there, and they didn't see their house appreciate in value as much as they expected.  Even with the advent of Brightline high speed rail extending service to Orlando and Tampa, something tells me that this will not be a good bet for us.

Luckily, I remembered what George S. Moore said in his memoir, "A Banker's Life" - one should have at least 3 ways to get one's money out of a deal.  I mentioned this to my brother, and he only saw 2 ways to get his money out of this deal. So this slowed him down a bit.  I mentioned that Delaware property near the ocean might be a better bet, as it's a more mature market that would be easier to monitor while living in the New York City metropolitan area.

Hopefully, my brother won't rush into this deal.  I'm afraid that he might be in for a rude awakening if he goes through with it.  

Give some things time, and they start to sort themselves out.

 

Well - After a night of worrying, things are sorting themselves out.  My brother found the paperwork I needed, and my new accountant said that all she needed now was a copy of my 2022 tax returns.  So, I got that in order, and sent off the down payment (1/3 of predicted tax prep charges) to the accountant.

In my life, I have learned that when I'm worried, that I have to go to sleep and let my subconscious sort things out.  When I couldn't do so, such as when XGFJ and I broke up, my mind kept running in circles because the pandemic would soon get in the way of activities needed for distraction.  Four years later, I think of her now and then, but not in a pining over type of way.  Instead, she's just a milestone in life, an experience I had to go through before I was ready for RQS.

Life has a nasty habit of throwing me curve balls, and even my relationship with RQS is like an off speed pitch.  There is nothing wrong with it.  But it is something that you have to be ready for in order to get the most from it.  There are words I don't say and phrases I don't use out of respect for her.  (It's not that I'd use them often.  I'm just a little more careful because it would hurt me to hurt her feelings needlessly.)  And I'll bet that she goes the extra mile to try to keep me feeling good.

Years ago, XGFJ said that one of the reasons for our breakup (other than me being TG) was that I didn't show her enough affection, and say the little nothings she needed to hear.  I learned from that and try to make sure that RQS knows I care about her in both words and touch whenever possible.  Yes, holding hands while walking is still difficult, as the differences in our heights causes our arms to want to swing at different paces.  But we still try to do this.

Too bad that we don't teach our kids to rest on things a bit before tackling things that might be a little overwhelming.  Maybe we'd accomplish more if we took the time to think before deciding to act....

Frustrations with tax preparation

 

I got myself into this by retaining the financial tie that bound me to my brother - the old family homestead. Now, I have to get the paperwork regarding this property before the new accountant can start work.  AARGH!  This kept me up over the weekend, and my brother's unavailability is causing me grief.

- - - - - -

The other day, I dropped off paperwork with the accountant and was told that I didn't supply all the information needed.  Well, part of this was an oversight on my part.  And part of this was simply being in a rush.  Either way, I have to get things done within a month.

Now, my brother can and will make himself unavailable when he doesn't want to address an issue.  He does this with my sister in law, so that he can avoid the arguments that can and will come with a wife who is not always in control of her life.  I think he's making himself unavailable to me, as he knows that he didn't give me enough documentation so that I can go to a new accountant.

- - - - - -

My brother has always been a frustration to me.  As a younger child, he was coddled (as typical for younger children) and treated more leniently than I was.  (In his teenage years, he became a terror.) We were always at loggerheads, as he was trying to find his way in the world.  As an adult, he has taken on a lot of responsibility, maybe too much for me to depend on him for much.  He took on responsibility for looking after my dad in his final years, since he lived 5 minutes away from my brother.  And now, he takes care of the paperwork on the family homestead.

Although owning the house and keeping it as a rental provides me with some benefits, I'd rather not have this headache to deal with.  I don't really understand what my brother is doing, and I know that if he were to die before me, I wouldn't know what to do.  After this year's frustration, I think I will tell him that I want out of this partnership, as I don't feel in control of important things in my life anymore.  And I need that feeling of control.  The big question is - how to get this point across to him and preserve the family relationship between us?

Doing business with a new Tax Person.

 

I'm frustrated over a series of events.  For the past 40 years, I have been using the same tax preparer.  This winter, she announced her retirement.  And now, I had to hustle to find someone new.  So, I ended up reaching out to a transgender CPA I know, and was awakened to a hard fact - I've had it very easy over the past few years. Without mentioning this CPA's name, I know that she follows all the rules.  And that's a good thing for me.  I don't intend to break the law just to save a few pennies.  Privately, I will give this person's name out and make a recommendation - as I did for RQS.

Most of the information this new tax person is requesting is something my brother and I should have at hand.  Given that my brother is the financial expert in the family, I always took what he gave me and handed it to my old tax person.  Now, I have to provide more information, and have my brother explain what's going on.  I'm not looking forward to a conflict that will force me to look for a new person at the last minute.

This weekend, I had a chat with RQS and explained why I want to dissolve this tie that binds me to my brother.  I depend on him too much, and the extra complexity that owning an income producing property provides is not worth it.  Hopefully, my brother will soon feel the same way about the old family homestead.

A visit to see my brother

 

I don't get the chance to see my brother that often, and this was one time I knew he needed to talk with me. Without saying too much, he has both an important career decision to make and a decision that will affect his peace of mind.  So, I knew that I had to see him immediately after leaving RQS this evening.

Normally, I am not under any time constraints when leaving RQS's place, save that I have to be aware of alternate side of the street parking rules and on which side of the street my car is parked.  However, I knew I had to reach my brother's place by 5, so that we could get to dinner by 6.  Just as I was walking out the door, my brother called - and I told him I'd be there shortly.  

Arriving at my brother's place around 5, we chatted for a while, and then proceeded to a seafood restaurant in Oceanside, NY - Jordan Lobster Farms.  As much as I didn't need another big meal, it was hard to resist clams on the half shell, clam chowder, and a 1 1/2 pound lobster.  YUM!  We talked about many things:  career, family, friendships, and pastimes. We also talked about my uncle, who I will be visiting in April.  

All too soon, this visit had to end.  I drove back to my apartment to find several things on my doorstep, one of which was a pair of large door stoppers which I'll be using to keep my refrigerator door closed until I can properly level the device.  (Too bad I forgot about the shims my brother had saved for me back at his place.)  Although there was more that I could have brought in at the time, I left some stuff in the hall to retrieve in the morning.

Tax Paperwork - a short post

 

Getting ready to have my taxes done is always an awkward experience.  Gathering up my forms is the easiest part of the process, save for the rental property that both my brother and I share an interest.  Given that my brother is a well paid, but overworked person, I rarely have received this last set of financials on time.

I'm glad that I'm not an accountant at this time of year.  One's person's numbers and forms would likely blend into someone else's in my mind - and I'd screw up both people's returns.  So I respect my brother a lot for starting a second career in his 40's, and doing well up to this point.  

Right now, my brother has got the weight of the world on him, and all I can do is give him encouragement.  He will soon have a lot of hard decisions in front of him, and all I can do is listen when he needs an ear, as well as remind him of what he's already accomplished in such a short time in a career.

In the end, my brother will still end up doing tax forms, if not for a large corporation, then for his family.  I wish him the best....

It's been a long while since I've been in Queens

 

It's been years since I've been to Zum Stammtisch in Glendale, Queens.  The QCLC used to go there on occasion, as it was one of the last good German restaurants in the area and we knew that all beers served there would be acceptable under the Reinheitsgebot (German Beer Purity Law).  I have enjoyed many a good dinner there from the time I was attending college, and wanted to introduce RQS to some "stick to your ribs" German food.  So, a visit to RQS's place was a perfect excuse for me to invite my brother to join us for an after work dinner.  

- - - - - -

On Friday, I started running errands in order to prepare for an upcoming colonoscopy, as well as depositing a 401K distribution in my local bank.  Now, I have enough money available to buy the new car that I put off buying due to the Covid-19 pandemic and its associated supply chain disruption.  Unlike most times I've driven to RQS's place, I knew that I had to make it to her place before 4:30 pm, as people would not be moving their cars from their parking spots until Monday.  (One can usually find a spot during the day on Saturday and Sunday.  But with a winter storm coming, no one would want to risk not having a parking spot to last the weekend.)  I was lucky - I found a spot in front of RQS's building, and there was no way I was going to leave before Sunday.

My brother arrived at RQS's place at 6:00, and we drove over to Zum Stammtisch for dinner.  My brother had been to this place once (or, so he said), but this was RQS's first time there.  So we sat down to enjoy a deceptively filling meal.  About 2 hours, we finished our meal and it was time to go home for the night.  And this was just as well, as both of us fell asleep before the 11 pm news.

- - - - - -

I have nothing much to say about Saturday, as we didn't bother to go out of the apartment for anything.  But Sunday was something else.  I had to leave, and start getting things ready for my colonoscopy prep to start on Monday.  So, I packed up my stuff and left for home with a quick stop at Stew Leonard's along the way.  Looking at the road, I noticed that NYC had been spared the brunt of the storm.  But as I crossed into Westchester, snow had stuck on the ground.  By the time I got home, I figure that there was 3 inches of the white stuff on the ground near my place.  I can only imagine what it was like further North and West of here....

Sad News, with more to come (eventually)

 

Today's post will be a short one.  But it involves sadness caused by a situation that I have no control over, and frustration because I have limited access to information.

As I have mentioned before, both my aunt and uncle are in nursing homes for the ailments of old age.  When RQS and I were in Los Angeles earlier this year, we were not able to see my uncle, as he was just told that he'd never be leaving the nursing home due to his frailness.  Today, I finally heard from my uncle, and he is in a bad way.

Last year, my uncle fell and broke his hips.  From what I can understand, he is not a candidate for hip replacement surgery.  All they could do is patch him up.  He has been in the nursing home since then.  When I spoke to him in December, he still had the voice of a man who would resume his life as soon as he was certified able to do so.  Of course, this time never came.  In June, I talked with him for 5 minutes, and he still had a tolerably strong voice.  But it was one weakened by circumstance.  Tonight, he could barely hear me on the phone, and his voice sounded like someone with no interest left in living.

He is depressed, in part, because he has no children, and because his nearest relatives live a continent away.  Neither my brother nor I can hop in a car to see him.  If we were to visit, he'd have to hop on a plane, spend at least one night in LA, and then fly home after the visit.  This is why I scheduled a California Coastal Cruise for this past June.  If he was unable to see us, we'd still have a great time on the left coast.

After our too short phone call, I called my brother to report on things.  My brother gave me another tidbit of information which I did not have.  And I asked him to relay my concerns to my uncle's agent, as I do not have the agent's name, nor do I want to be the point of contact for information regarding my uncle's affairs.  (Also, I feel that my brother knows more than he lets on, and doesn't trust me with anything.  But that's another story for another day.)  Hopefully, I'll get more information soon.  But I know that in the long term, it will only be bad news.  And I feel sad about things that eventually must come.

Earrings and other jewelry

 

One of the things that women often take for granted is getting theirs pierced as a child or young adult.  It is so much easier to wear pierced earrings, and there is a greater availability of earrings for women with pierced ears.  So, I decided to finally get my ears pierced this past winter, in order to wear the above pierced earrings I had just bought on my Hawaii trip.

Now that my ears have been pierced, I have had occasional problems with the piercings.  The holes are not the easiest to find (which can be a good thing when seeing people who have no idea that I am TG), and this often frustrates me when attempting to wear dangling things such as the earrings in the picture. With a girlfriend who accepts my nature, I feel no guilt in getting ready to go out in front of her, as she wants me to look my best in either gender presentation.

Soon, I will start accumulating jewelry to fit every mood and situation.  For example, I love the idea of wearing pearls with a little black dress on a cruise's formal night.  Not all jewelry has to be expensive or formal.  Yet, the jewelry I buy has to be tasteful for a woman of my age.  Therefore, it has to be both simple and easily coordinated with what I'm wearing that day.  In the case of the above earrings and necklace (and pendant), I made sure that these items looked good with the dress I was wearing.

Unlike most women of my age, they have had decades to develop a feel for the jewelry that works best with their personality.  I'm lucky.  Since my fingers and wrists are too big to wear some of the jewelry given to my by my former cruise partner, I have been able to avoid many of the "loud" items that would draw attention to the non-feminine parts of my body.  In short, the jewelry I wear helps me blend in, not to stand out.

Given what I've said above, I am still surprised at how hard it is to see ear piercings when the piercings are not being used for jewelry.  A while back, I went to see my brother after taking my studs out, and he didn't notice a thing.  My fears of being noticed at the wrong time weren't fulfilled.  So, for any TG readers of this blog who are afraid of piercings, don't be.  Most people will ignore tiny studs in one's ears while the piercings heal, and will not notice those piercings when the studs are out.

My brother just booked a cruise.

 

I won't go into many details here, save those which do not identify my brother in any way.  This means that I won't identify him by name, the ship he will sail on, or when he will sail.  But I can tell you about how quickly he made the decision to take his first cruise.

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Yesterday, I received an email from my brother containing the cruise itinerary of one of his friends.  Given that I had no warning about this, the message took me by surprise.  Later in the morning, I found that my brother left me a message on the phone to look at this itinerary to find out what I thought about it.  So I gave it some thought and came up with the following items:

1. Sailing on a new ship costs more money than sailing on an older ship.
2. Booking airfare via the cruise line can be hit or miss.  I did well with NCL booking my air for my Hawaiian cruise, even though its choice of flights may not have been what I would have chosen. Others have reported that NCL's flight bookings left much to be desired, and often had unrealistic times between flight segments.
3. The Mediterranean during peak season is hot.  Often, temperatures stay above 40°c (104°f) for days at a time.  American travelers often stick out like sore thumbs, as we look for "American" ways to deal with the heat, and not dealing with it the way the natives do.
4. His route's cruise ports are 60-120 minutes from their associated cities.  This means that he will need to plan his shore excursions carefully.

My list was longer than this, and it included details specifically related to him and his wife.  When I called my brother, he was overwhelmed by what I was saying and made an excuse to end the call.  RQS and I fleshed out the list a little mode, along with suggestions that he view some videos made by cruise vloggers we watch regularly.

This evening, I was surprised to find that he booked this cruise with less than a couple of days of thought.  He really wanted to take this cruise.  Hopefully, he'll have taken my advice in regard to booking an internet package for when he's on the ship.  (I expect that he'll keep up to date on his commitments at home.)

I'd have recommended that he take a shorter, more local cruise before taking this cruise.  However, he has a habit of trying to bite off more than he can chew.  Hopefully, he has not done so with this cruise. We'll find out sometime towards the end of 2024.

A too short weekend with RQS

 

I've gotten spoiled.  RQS has been up here on a weekly basis, and I've enjoyed the little things she does for me - and I've told her how much I appreciate what she does for me.  Unlike my former relationships, RQS knows how I feel about her, and she's not afraid to tell me how she feels about things.  We both feel that we're fortunate to have each other in our lives.  We feel a little depressed when we have to part at the end of each weekend.

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Relaxation would become the theme for the weekend....  On Friday,  I was late getting to the train station to pick up RQS, and apologized  - Mea Culpa, Mea Culpa, Mea Maxima Culpa!  It didn't bother too much, as we ended up going for a nice drive before dinner.  (We had to pick up groceries, etc. before I could cook....)  Once home, we had a quick dinner and then relaxed.  It was nice to be able to spend a day in Marian Mode, as for the next 3 days, I'd have to present as Mario. 

The next morning, we slept late, and then took a long drive up to Dover Plains and back, stopping in a local supermarket for some Tipsy Scoop ice cream.  Unfortunately, they had only one flavor in the freezer, Mint Chocolate Chip, but it was good enough for our purposes.  So we went home, and I prepared some ribs for dinner. (You can guess what we had for dessert - something green....)

Sunday came too quickly, and I decided to drive RQS home.  I gave her a set of TV tables (small tables often used for eating TV Dinners in front of the TV) to get them out of my house.  But first, we went to my brother's place, as he had something he wanted to take care of with me.  The 3 of us had dinner, and then it was back to his place for a few minutes.  We then went to RQS's place, where Iwas lucky to find a spot in front of her place in which I could "almost fit" my car, and then unloaded stuff before heading home.

Being alone is such a lonely thing these days.  Now that I have someone in my life who accepts me as Mario and Marian, it is a little depressing when we separate at weekend's end.    But on the whole, I consider myself lucky.  How many TG's have given up on romance because they feel no longer date-able?  It's nice to know that I will not likely be in the dating pool again....

The handymen have arrived!

 

As I write this, the work on fixing my wall has started.  The sheet rock panel behind these tiles have been removed, and the studs and the sheet rock of the apartment adjacent to mine is now visible.  The work my brother did about 15 years ago finally failed, and the handyman gave me a simple explanation as to why it happened - we didn't mount the replacement sheet rock correctly.

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My brother has gone from having several dead-end jobs in his youth to being a lead financial comptroller in a multi $100mm corporation.  While raising a family, he bought a house needing a lot of TLC, and learned how to take care of all of its repairs himself - he couldn't afford any help to do most of the needed work.  Now, he's able to spend some coin to do the kind of repairs to his place that is not worth his effort to do himself.

Why do I mention this?

I give my brother a lot of credit for improving his life under a great amount of stress.  Now, he plays catch-up with his life, and I hope he's happy with the trade-offs he has had to make to get by.  I did not have to make the same trade-offs, as I was widowed almost 30 years ago, never had children, and didn't need to buy a house to "keep up with the Jones's."  Yet, at this stage of life, I wouldn't mind having some of what he has.  And he wouldn't mind having some of what I have.

It was a good thing that my dad got to see both my brother and I develop the skills to live life on our own without parental assistance.  A wise friend once said that a parent's job is to raise children so that the parent is no longer needed, but will always be wanted and always loved.  That's one thing my dad did well.

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One thing I learned from my dad is that some jobs simply need to be done, and others needed to be done well.  In the case of the bathroom tile wall, this time the job needed to be done well.  So I hired it out to a professional.  I could have done a crappy job myself, then need to do a bigger repair in a few years.  Instead, I spent some coin (which I am lucky to have) to do it right and to forget about it.  I hope my dad would be happy with how I make my decisions now, as I still think of what he might do had he been in my position in life.

I'm finding it hard to put the backs on my earrings - a short post.

 

Having not had my ears pierced until after I turned 65, it's hard for me to put the studs into my ears and correctly get the backs on the pin to lock the earring in place.  When I attempt to put the pin in one hole, I have trouble getting to make the pin come out the other side.  And then, it's even harder to get the little backing into place, so that the stud is locked in my earlobe. AARGH!  

Removing the studs after 7 weeks was a problem in itself.  But I did this, so that my brother wouldn't have much to talk about.  The last thing I needed would be to open up a conversation regarding my transgender nature with a brother who buys into Fox News' falsehoods.  Luckily, my sister in law never got close enough to notice the new holes in my lobes, nor did my brother pay attention to a face he's seen many times before.

Given that I irritated the lobe and caused a small amount of blood to come out (enough to discolor a Q-Tip), I figured that the piercing is healing slower than expected.  So I decided to see how my dangling earrings would look in my ears (they looked nice, but would have looked better had I was in Marian mode), and then put the studs back in.  And that was a big headache.  It took me over a half hour to get the studs through the pierced holes, and then to get the backings on.  I figure that I'll wait until month-end before I remove the studs again.

Will I wear the studs again after I give the piercings an extra month to heal?  I doubt it.  I will likely stay with jewelry that is much easier to put on and to take off - and these studs do not fit my needs.

A Cat's Health and seeing my Brother

 

I used to own too many cats.  4 cats in a 1-Br apartment are too many.  But what about 2 cats in the same space?  What happens when one of those cats die, and the older cat isn't feeling well?  That is what RQS was dealing with today.

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RQS had to put a cat to sleep last week, and now she's worried about the surviving cat.  Although the cat is showing its age, its health is on the decline. And today, she decided to call the vet and take the soonest appointment she can get.  Hopefully, this cat can be treated with affordable medicine, and that it will be healthy until its eventual passing away.

After RQS took care of the Vet appointment, it was off to lunch before heading out to my brother.  Traffic was still snarled due to yesterday's subway maintenance work, but we were able to avoid the worst of it to get to a diner.  It's hard for me to believe that there is a diner with a parking lot in Glendale, just 500 feet away from my favorite German restaurant, Zum Stammtisch.  But there it was, a small place with an unlit sign and a parking lot just big enough for 7 cars.  So we stopped in to eat.  Yum!  We'll keep this place in mind for Sunday mornings and afternoons.

When I dropped RQS off, it was time to visit my brother.  I figured that he wanted to show me some work to be done for the house.  Instead, he gave me some of the money he owed me.  Now, I have some play money for my upcoming cruise and for further car maintenance.  And then, we were off to dinner at Benihana. As much as Hibachi can be a fun meal, this restaurant left a bit to be desired.  First, it was over priced. And then, the confusing orders given by one party of 8 regarding food allergies and food preferences caused problems with the cooking of the food, resulting in my brother and I getting our meal 10 minutes before the rest of the table received their meals.  At least, we were able to get back to my brother's place in time for me to take care of a GI Tract issue.

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I may have mentioned the Dunning-Kruger effect before.  But I am surprised to find out how little my sister in law understands about how our government works, and how she blames the federal government (i.e. the President) for the organized criminals wreaking havoc in stores in our nation's large cities.  It is not the federal government's responsibility to stop crime in these cities, it is the state and local governments that are responsible.  She thinks she knows much more than she does, and blames the Democrats at the federal level for the problem. What happened to teaching how our government is supposed to work in our schools? But then, she watches Fox "News".  Need I say more?

All too soon, it was time for me to leave my brother's place and go home for the night.  My brother and sister in law hate night time driving.  As for me, I find it restful, as there are few traffic jams at this time of night, and I can get home quicker than had I left a few hours earlier.