Dim Sum in Parsippany, NJ

 

It's been months since RO and I have been able to get together, in part due to sinkholes on I-80.  For both of us, it's a 90 minute drive to a midpoint destination.  If one of our key highways to Parsippany, NJ is out, it can add at least 30 minutes to the trip. For both of us, spending 2 hours to meet an acquaintance would be a non-starter.  So, we waited until I-80 was repaired fully before we scheduled lunch again.

I wasn't in the greatest of moods when I woke up.  Current affairs is very depressing, as one can't escape mention of the Orange Snowflake in the news.  I limit my interactions with the news, while RO tunes it out.  That doesn't mean that she doesn't care about what's going on.  Instead, it means that turning off the news is her only way of escaping the monster and his childlike voice.

While driving to the restaurant, MAR called me.  She doesn't have a stable job, and we have been trying to find a time and date when we could meet.  Even though this upcoming weekend is a rare open one for me, she was booked up already.  So, after a long conversation over the phone, we rescheduled our get together for 3 weeks from now.

Eventually, I reached the restaurant, and RO arrived a few minutes later.  It was as if little time had passed since our last get together, and conversation flowed like water.  We each had a bowl of hot and sour soup, and then split 4 dishes of dim sum - including some soup dumplings.  Yum!  All too soon, we had to leave, and we will try to schedule something within 4-6 weeks.

On my way home, I decided to explore the items in Lane Bryant.  Only one catch - I was trying to avoid the tolls on the Garden State Parkway.  This was a mistake, as I drove through the bowels of Patterson, NJ -from one side of the "hood" to the other. Eventually, I made it to the road I was looking for, and then made it to Lane Bryant (with a pit stop at Panera Bread.)  Luckily, I escaped the store without spending anything, and went home for the evening without further delay.

I never used a debit card, and see where that got me.

 

As I've mentioned before, my brother and I own a rental property on Long Island.  After several years of renting the house to tenants, we made the decision to replace the washer and dryer as we refresh the place for our next set of tenants.  Today, I would have bought the above laundry set, save that the debit card for the joint account had expired.

- - - - - -

I was originally scheduled to meet RO for lunch today.  However, her sister is having health problems, and she must help her sister out in time of need.  But where did this leave me?  I now had a free day where I could order a washer/dryer combination and schedule delivery for a time convenient for me to be in Long Island.  So, I decided to get dressed as Mario and drive to Yonkers.

Once in Yonkers, I made sure to check whether there would be any problems with the card, as both ATM cards could be connected to both my personal and our joint account.  (I wanted 2 cards, so that my personal card would always link to my personal checking account, and that the "business" card would always link to the joint account.)  Well, when I went to the ATM, I found that the business card had expired.  Since I wasn't going to use my personal account for the transaction, I called my brother and told him about this glitch, and said that I'd send him the information about the washer/dryer that he now had to buy.

Since I no longer had to go into the appliance store, I figured that I'd go to the cell phone store and pick up some swag they were giving away.  Unlike past swag offers, they were not giving away this item at all of their stores.  I just got lucky and got mine at the store in Yonkers that was near the bank.  And then, I was on my way home for the night.

- - - - - -

Having arrived home, I rested for a while before opening the co-op board meeting.  It's now a pleasure to have meetings that last only 2 hours.  However, we still have a lot of problems to deal with, as we're still dealing with the fallout from our prior managing agent's mismanagement of things.  While on this zoom meeting, I received a message from DCD's ex girlfriend. (I'll call her NDC for now.)   His tumor has returned - bigger than ever.  So, I ended up chatting with her for an hour or so, and found out more details about his life.  His mom bailed out his car, but kicked him out of the house.  Now, he mostly lives out of his car, going to his ex's house to wash and clean up.  This has put some stress into her relationship with her current boyfriend.  She effectively has a grown up stray that needs taking care of, and she (with current boyfriend) have set boundaries for taking care of this stray.  Hopefully, when he goes into the hospital for his next surgery and for chemo, they will be stuck with the responsibility of finding a hospice for him to spend his final days.

While we're talking about DCD, I have to mention that NDC emailed DCD's mom to tell her about DCD's health concerns.  NDC feels that almost everyone in DCD's family orbit is a little F'd up to say the least.  His mom has a room which was prepared for her late husband to spend his final days, and won't let DCD stay there for his final days.  DCD's kids know that he's not long for this world, yet they won't renew contact with him.  (NDC has no idea of why DCD's kids hate him, but we think it's because of DCD's ex wife poisoning the well of affection between them.)  DCD's ex wife may have felt that she could have found a better man, and her resentment could have been the root cause of their divorce.  Strangely enough, DCD's ex was the only person in his current and former family to show an inkling of caring for each other.

When DCD dies, and I expect it to happen this year, I will attend the funeral (if I'm not on a cruise) in female presentation. NDC has only seen me as Marian, though she knows I'm transgender.  DCD's family will not remember me, much less realize anything is amiss.  It'll be a sad day, but it'll be the least I can do to pay my respects.

Seeing RO for a Bacon Cheeseburger

 

 

I looked nothing like this today. It would have been nice to go out in a nice dress, but the weather was too cool to wear anything other than a trouser like garment.  But I had to go out - I had to drop RQS off at the train station, then I had to drive to Parsippany, NJ to have lunch with RO.

- - - - - -

RQS and I got up early, and we were out the door in time for her to make a 10:42 am train.  From there, I drove out to Parsippany where I was running 30 minutes early.  So, I decided to run into Home Sense and do shopping.  20 minutes later, a new broom and dustpan found their way into the back of my car, and then I was off to see RO.

RO and I were meeting at one of the last Fuddruckers in the Northeast.  I miss this chain, as they always had great hamburgers.  However, due to corporate takeovers and mismanagement, the chain has shrunk to a fraction of its former size. Luckily, there is one near the halfway point between RO's place and mine  She was in the parking lot when I arrived, and we walked in together for lunch.

Although this outlet has seen its better days, it still serves up a good burger - but slowly.  RO ordered her burger and got it quickly,  As for me, it took a long while to cook my burger - and I ordered mine within 60 seconds of RO.  Eventually, we sat down to eat, and we caught up on each other's lives.  Both of us were scarred from the political polarization going on, and I feel I might have talked too much about things.  She's retreating from things that annoy her in a different way that I am doing.  So, I hope that I didn't say too much to upset her.

Eventually, we had to part.  But we didn't set a date for a next get together, as holiday season is coming up.  RO drove back to Pennsylvania, while I drove home with an unproductive stop at Lane Bryant in Paramus.  While driving home, I started getting sleepy.  So I ended up pulling off the road before getting home and napped for 30 minutes before making the last few miles home.

- - - - - -

A little later, I opened up my co-op's board meeting, and we conducted some important business.  First, we interviewed an applicant to purchase shares in the co-op.  And then we met with our soon to be former site representative.  None of us were really happy about the things being discussed, but they had to be discussed without delay.  Were we happy about things?  No.  But we did get what we wanted to do done before ending the meeting.

Lunch with RO and a quick browse through a store.

 

It's been a very long time since Fuddruckers had a convenient franchise for me to visit.  I always loved their burgers, and it was so sad to see this chain virtually die off.  However, a few franchises still exist, and RO suggested that we meet at one halfway between our two residences.

Now, I can't say that a Fudd burger is worth going 60-90 minutes out of one's way to eat one.  But if it is a convenient place for two people to meet and chat, then this is a good place to do so.  Both RO and I lament the loss of nearby Fudd franchises.  But we are glad that we ate at one of the surviving franchises today.

RO and I have a long history.  We dated each other a few times, but it didn't work out.  However, I told her about Marian, and she has seen me as Marian many more times than she has seen me as Mario.  So, it was in one of my dresses from Flax that I ventured outside in the heat and drove to Parsippany, NJ. (Why did I mention Flax?  I felt that wearing Linen would be the best way to keep comfortable as possible in a 95+ degree day.)  Both of us arrived around 12:30, and RO treated me to lunch for my birthday.  (I'll have to return the favor this coming winter.)  We brought each other up to date on each other's lives.  We also noticed that Fudd's wasn't that busy - the franchise was understaffed, and dirty tables weren't bussed as quickly as they should have been.  (I'll bet that this franchise has seen its better days, and that it is hanging on by momentum and its proximity to the motel next door.)

All too soon, we had to part.  I stopped by a Lane Bryant store to browse and found nothing.  Then I returned home to find one delivery from Universal standard (the green dress mentioned in yesterday's post) and one delivery from Lane Bryant (the patterned dress mentioned in yesterday's post).  Too bad that RQS isn't coming up this weekend, or I'd greet her at the station in her birthday present to me.

If I could only get around to doing some laundry....

Another lunch with RO

 

Around 30 years ago, my late wife and I found the above book at Barnes and Noble.  Living reasonably close to the city as we did, we'd make regular pilgrimages to Manhattan's Chinatown and the one that was developing in Flushing to get a good Dim Sum meal.  If there was a good Chinese Restaurant, we'd move heaven and earth to get there.

 

At the time this book was published, we had several definitions for the quality of Chinese restaurants:

• Local - The food was edible, but we wouldn't go out of town for it.
• Acceptable - The food was decent, and worth going one or two towns over to dine in the place.
• Good - The place was an hour or more away, and well worth the effort to eat there. (I miss The Little Bear near Woodstock, NY.)
  
• Very Good - The place was outside the region, and a must visit when in the area. (Empress of China - San Francisco, CA)
  
• Excellent - The place is on the other side of the globe, and a bucket list must visit.

Needless to say, we never had the chance to get to the last category of restaurants.  My wife had a friend where she worked who could tell us great places to eat when in China.  But she died before I had accumulated enough money to take this kind of bucket list trip.

 

 

I'm still willing to go to the ends of the earth for a good meal.  And today, I had the chance to revisit Qin Dynasty in Parsippany, NJ.  Qin Dynasty is an unassuming place sited in front of the Red Roof Inn on Route 46.  There is nothing special to recommend this place, other than it was a convenient midpoint for RO and I to get together.

 

RO and I have eaten at this place several times before, and we always have several plates of Dim Sum.  Today, we tried one of the dinner dishes along with our usual order of Dim Sum.  And it was up to the quality of the joints I often visit in Manhattan.  I can also say the same for their Dim Sum - it's good, and worth eating when in the area.  But I wouldn't schedule a special drive to get to this place, as RQS and I know better places for Dim Sum closer to home.

 

Yet, you might ask: Why do I recommend this place?

 

The answer is simple.  There are few enough decent places which have a wide variety of Dim Sum on their menus, and this is one of them.  One can find the standard offerings such as Shu Mai, Pork Buns, and soup dumplings.  But this place also has things such as duck filled dumplings and peanut filled dumplings. And I usually try to order something new at every meal.

 

Luckily, I can go to Aberdeen in White Plains, NY and have a good variety of tasty dishes there.  But if I'm near Parsippany, I'll try to visit Qin Dynasty.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Lunch with RO - a short post

 

Today's post is going to be a short one, as I was very tired after a long drive and a big lunch with a friend who knows I am transgender and treats me as a woman.

- - - - - -

RO and I usually try to get together every 4-6 weeks or so.  Although we once dated, we are just friends - especially when the two of us are in stable, committed relationships.  So our conversations tend to be those where we catch up on events going on in each other's lives, and not sharing our troubles with someone who has a sympathetic ear.  Our lunch fit that pattern today.

Given that we live 2 1/2 hours away from each other, we have found a few places to eat in locations halfway between our homes.  Today's place was a Greek restaurant near Patterson, NJ at which RO has feasted before.  And this was a good choice, as the food was good.  It was also a mistake, as both of us spent twice as much as planned.  Luckily, I had cash on me, and room in the back to take my leftovers home.

Would I eat here again?   Yes!   But I'd be careful with my spending, as it is way too easy to get lost with appetizers, large platters, and desserts.

Lunch with RO

 

Somehow, I always seem to find good restaurants in the most unusual places. Qin Dynasty, of Parsippany, NJ is an example of one of these finds.  This restaurant is attached to a Red Roof Inn, and nothing special would catch the eye of most people. But something about this place caught my eye (maybe the words "Dim Sum"?) and I put it on my list of places to try out - and RO and I did so shortly before one of my Autumn cruises.

- - - - - -

Recently, RO and I found the time to get together again, and we chose this place because it was halfway between our two houses.  We were both glad we did so, as we had a very tasty and filling meal for a very reasonable price.  While eating, we caught up on what was going on with each others' lives, with me running on and on about my December cruise. It's nice to know that both of us went into dating to find friends first, and then a mate.  Her body is starting that slow path to breaking down, as she can no longer walk moderate distances anymore.  I'm glad that I didn't choose her for a girlfriend, or I might have ended up like Ex-GF-M.  Luckily, RO has become a good friend, and accepts me as Marian.

When RO and I left the restaurant, we each went our own ways.  I left to see if the Lane Bryant store in Paramus had a double breasted coat I was interested in.  The first thing I did upon entering the store was to look for the coat and try it on.  Although it had a good feel, I decided to pass on it, because of how the buttons worked.  (I didn't like how the inside button was placed.)  At this point, rush hour was starting, so I drove home to spend the rest of the evening.

Going for a long drive to meet a friend

 

I wouldn't drive the above car more than a couple of miles, and then at a very low speed.  That is the opposite of the driving I often need to do, as most of the people I know are at least an hour away from me. Today's drive was to meet a friend who lives over two hours away from me, at a mid point agreeable to both of us.

- - - - - -

RO and I have known each other for a while.  We first met on a date, but things didn't work out between us.  A few years later, we stumbled into each other again and became friends.  Since then, we get together now and then, and today was one of those meetings.  Although she knows me as Mario, she sees me more often as Marian, and that's the way I prefer to be when seeing her.

The restaurant that we used to go to is halfway between our houses.  Today, we decided to meet for lunch at Fuddrucker's, a hamburger joint whose chain has seen its better days.  My late wife and I always enjoyed going to the Fuddruckers in Yonkers.  Sadly, virtually all of the outlets near me closed many years ago, leaving a small number too many miles away for a casual lunch on my own.  But today was different.  Fudd's has an outlet in Parsippany, NJ, and that's where we met.

When I first encountered Fuddrucker's as a chain, their outlets focused on the display of the meat that would be served to the customer.  The place was wide open and well lit. You could see all of the spaces open to the customer upon entry, including condiments, fixings (onions, tomatoes, lettuce, etc.), and.beverage stations.  This outlet felt different.  It felt cramped, and the main seating area was separated from the entry area by a wall.  But the burgers were as good as I remembered.

RO talked about her most recent trip with her hubby, and having booked a new trip to the same area for next month.  I talked about my trips (past and upcoming), as well as my relationship with RQS.  By the time lunch was over, RO asked if I would introduce her to RQS, and I said "sure".

All too soon, we had to return home - and parted until next time.

. 

Seeing another friend for dinner

 

RQS knows that I have more female friends than male friends, and most of them know me as Marian, even though they know of Mario's existence. Today, I visited one of those friends.

- - - - - -

RO and I have known each other for several years.  We once dated each other, but things didn't work out. When we stumbled across each other a few years later, we developed a friendship and kept in loose touch with each other.  I had my relationship with XGFJ while RO got married to a nice gentleman.  

The last time I met RO in person was last September.  Neither of us realized how long it had been, as both of us had been busy living our lives since then.  RO has retired, while I have taken 3 cruises, as well as a trip to Washington, DC since then.  So we had a lot to catch up on over an early dinner at the same Italian restaurant we've eaten at before.  Both of us have the ailments that come with getting old, and I was reminded of why things didn't work out between us. (I didn't want to be with someone who would have similar health problems as Ex-GF-M was having, and Ex-GF-M's death proved me right.)  Yet, we could be good friends, especially given that RO is a warm and caring person.

All too soon, dinner had to end, and I had to drive home. We agreed to eat at Fuddruckers down the road a piece.  Neither of us like dropping $75 on dinner when we're living on a budget.  So next time, dinner will be much more affordable, and much more casual.  And for me, this will be the first time I will be eating at a Fuddruckers since the last of the New York State (New York City region) restaurants closed years ago.

Considering that I wanted to look at some clothes at Lane Bryant, I took the long way back home through Paramus.  While on the road, I told TCL about another dress store that RQS and I have visited: Karina Dresses. And she looked up the dress pattern that made me think of TCL when I saw it.  Sadly, the dresses were not available in her size for the fabric pattern she liked.  But she will keep an eye on the site for future dresses she might enjoy wearing.

When I got to Lane Bryant, I tried on a couple of dresses.  One was in a pattern and style I liked, and if I didn't have one being shipped to me soon, I would have bought it at the store.  The other left a lot to be desired.  So I left those dresses at the store, and went home for the evening.

It's been a long time since I've seen this friend.

 

For the life of me, I can't seem to find a picture of me with RO at a formerly local Italian Restaurant.  This may be just as well for now.  But it would have been nice to give my readers an idea to why I wanted her as a friend, and not as a lover.

We haven't seen each other in years, as the pandemic got in the way of us getting together.  Now that she's living in the Poconos full time, we can't make a quick decision to get together after work.  After a little bit of planning, we set today for our get together; and I chose the restaurant at a mid way point for both of us.

I didn't get moving until noon, and took my time getting ready to get showered, made up and dressed. It was a good thing that I left a little wiggle room in my departure time, as traffic could be unpredictable when dealing with the Bear Mountain Bridge.  Today, it was just that, as it took forever to get to the bridge.  But once I reached Seven Lakes Drive, it was a pleasant drive through Harriman State Park to get to Sloatsburg.  And from there, it was a hop, skip and a jump to NJ 287 which took me to Parsippany.  

In the past, the trip from Mahwah to Parsippany would take forever, as Route 287 had not been built between Boonton and Mahwah.  Since the route was completed, it was a 30 minute drive to reach my final destination from the NY/NJ state line.  Not knowing that RO would be on time, I brought along a book that I could read if she got stuck in traffic.  Luckily, she reached the restaurant at the same time as I did.

RO knows me as Marian, even though she has seen me as Mario a couple of times.  It is much easier for her to think of me as Marian, and that's the way I arrived at the restaurant.  Our talked flowed like water, and both of us enjoyed some of the best Italian food I've ever been served.  (I had the Lasagna, and it was an 11 on a scale of 10!)  All too soon, it was time to go home, and I took the overland route instead of going through the park.

Hopefully, we'll be able to get together much sooner than last time.  Until then, we'll keep in touch.  It'll be nice if RO & Husband gets the chance to meet RQS and I for dinner one day....

A Quick Post - Scheduling dinner at a halfway point

 

Years ago, I dated RO, but dropped her for the same reason I dropped MWL - their hips were out of proportion to the rest of their bodies.  It would be hard for me to get turned on by a woman with those hips, and I didn't want to make the same mistake I made with Ex-GF-M.  However, we have remained good friends and have tried to get together now and then.  (FYI: RO is someone who knows me as Marian, has seen me as Mario, but relates to me as a female.)

Covid-19 put an end to getting together.  No one was going anywhere, and both she and her hubby did their lock down in the Poconos home.  Now that things have opened up again, we have decided to get together again, this time at a restaurant halfway between the two of us.  Since I'll be leaving straight from work, I'll have to fight rush hour traffic to see her.

It'll be nice to get together again.  And I'll be sure to wear a nice dress the day we meet again....  

Sunday with RO

 

I like this peacock so much, that I figured I'd post his image one more time.  It's nice to be among the half of a species who gets to use color to attract the opposite sex.  (In my case, I'm not trying to attract anyone while presenting as female, but I enjoy looking as pretty as possible.)

- - - - - -

RO and I had made plans to get together today, and I wasn't going to break them to go on an early morning hike with my friend (YGD) from the Yonkers Game Night Meetup.  Luckily, it rained, so this made it easier for me to postpone getting together to hike, leaving me more time for things such as doing laundry.

I took care of some correspondence this morning, and then got busy taking care of errands around the place. When I first got around to doing laundry, the machines were already in use by one of my neighbors.  This made it critical that I get home from dinner early enough to do laundry.  But it also made it critical that I squeeze in a trip to Wegmans to pick up lunches for the week.  So I could have a time crunch if my dinner with RO lasted too long.

Arriving in Mt. Vernon 30 minutes later than planned, I found that RO had found a way to burn time waiting for me.  She found a place across from where she parked to get a manicure, and 30 minutes later, she sat down at the table - about a minute before I arrived.  The Bayou is a good place for Cajun food, and it didn't disappoint us.  We had more than enough food to eat, and both of us took home leftovers.

On the way home, I made a quick stop at Wegmans, then called someone who responded to my ad on OK Cupid.  We had a nice chat, and agreed to chat again later in the week.  (I took the long way home, so that we'd have more uninterrupted chat time.) And 60 minutes later, I was home unloading my bags and doing laundry between messages with friends.  

This was a day where the less I say means more in the long term....

I don't know how I woke up without the alarm, but it was worth the effort to get out early.

It's always hard to get an oil change at Mavis these days.  The place is usually very busy, and that means business like mine gets pushed to the side to accommodate more profitable efforts, such as selling tires.  But if you get to the shop early enough, you can usually get in and out of the place before 10 am.  Instead of a trip for minor service costing me $500 at the dealership, my car can get what it needs for under $200.  And when one is living on a fixed income, the $300 is better in my pocket than in the dealership's till.

- - - - - -

Last night, I knew that I had to wake up early the following morning.  So I went to bed around 1 am, started the "white noise" maker, put on my CPAP mask, and readied myself for a few hours of sleep.  While I was semiconscious, my phone rang.  Seems that RO accidentally dialed me, and killed the call as soon as she started it.  But that didn't keep me alert for long, as I passed out again shortly afterwards.

When I got up, it was a couple of minutes before 7.  So I turned off all my alarms, took my shower, and went out the door as Mario.  I arrived at Mavis at 8, and asked them to look at my front end when they did the oil change and rotated the tires.  I was right, when I hit the curb last Thursday, I knocked the front end a little out of alignment.  So I was glad I got this taken care of before I ruined my tires by uneven tread wear. About $160 later, my car was ready, and I was ready to drive home.  So back to Croton I drove, and back to bed I went for a little while to try and catch up on a few Z's I missed the night before.

- - - - - -

Of course, with the coffee I consumed earlier, I didn't have a chance to catch those Z's.  Instead, I took care of a couple of little things around the house and took it easy for a while. But then, I realized that I may have an interesting set of schedule conflicts.  Either I will need to cancel my attendance at a FTF Meetup dinner or cancel my attendance at a Beacon Meetup dinner due to a dinner engagement with RO.  It'll be nice to be able to see her again this year, as she had some good news to share - her daughter is finally getting married!  YAY!

But I digress a little....

Around 5:00, I started to get ready for tonight's meetup by changing into my female presentation.  It took a little longer than expected for me to get out the door, and I barely made it in time to the Meetup's restaurant.  The usual gang was there, but I couldn't sit at the table I wanted to be at - the last 3 seats had already been taken, so I ended up at another table with other people I don't get the chance to speak with that often.

Originally, I figured that I would order a small dish and get out of the place for $25 or so.  Instead, I ordered the prix fixe 3 course dinner, and ended up spending roughly $50.  (I was glad I took a $50 bill with me, as it made it possible for me to leave a nice tip without going overboard.)  Of course, I fluttered between our 3 tables, chatting with people I wanted to chat with.  However, I didn't chat with all the people I wanted to chat with - the appetizers and main course came while in the middle of chats with friends.  (At least, I'll get to chat with these people the week after Thanksgiving.)

All too soon, the evening had to end.  So it was on with my coat, and back down to Croton and home. Although I can't keep up spending money at this rate without cracking open my 401k, I'm roughly where I expected to be today.  Hopefully, one of the jobs I'm applying for will come though, and I'll be able to stop the short term drain on my savings account.