Odd Stuff Going On Here!

 

As I write this, it's 2  weeks before Election Day.  No matter what happens, I expect to see some serious problems resulting from the election.  Did the Orange Cry Baby Win?  Did the Orange Cry Baby Lose?  Right now, it looks like he's doing his best to undermine election results if he loses, and is trying to rally his cult members to do what they feel they have to in order to put their cult leader in charge of this country.

One of my Facebook Friends (a loose acquaintance at best) has drunk the MAGA Kool-Aid.   She loves to post anti-Democrat memes, even when objective evidence is all against her.  No amount of evidence can prove to a cult member that their view of the world is wrong - something from inside must trigger the self transformation.  The older one gets and the stronger a belief is held, the harder it is to see objective reality.

Why do I mention this?

In the case of the Orange Cry Baby, I worry that we'll see a repeat of the theme of January 6, 2021 - force the election to the house, and the GOP will put the Cry Baby in the White House.  I pray that this doesn't happen.

- - - - - -

Now that I've gotten my worries out of the way for now, I'd like to mention that I picked RQS's luggage up from her house, so that she need not schlep it on the subway and then onto Metro North to get here before our second Bermuda cruise together.  We had a nice meal together, and then it was time to leave.  Her neighbor was in the hall, and I was dressed as Marian, so I chose to wait a few minutes before leaving her apartment.

Just before leaving, DCD called - and I returned his call while on the road.  He's finally got my old car on the road, and it is enabling him to go to work.  No, he isn't earning that much.  But the car is doing what I wanted for it to do for him - have a way to get to work and start rebuilding his life.  We talked about a lot of things, and he was a little embarrassed about the mistakes he has made in his life.  I told him NOT to live in the past.  He can't change it, and dwelling there is not a good thing.  Instead, focus on today, and let tomorrow take care of itself.

When I got home, I found that I couldn't make reservations at the restaurant that RQS and I wanted to go to for Thanksgiving.  So I hunted around and found an acceptable place (a steakhouse) that is serving a traditional Thanksgiving dinner.  Hopefully, this place will be as nice as the place we wanted to go to.  And if a place opens up at Hudson House, we'll drop the old reservation and make a new one there.

Co-Op business and a trip to the store

 

I didn't want to start moving to go outside.  The weather forecast was terrible, and I didn't feel like getting dressed.  However, I had an exercise dress waiting at Macy's for me to pick up, and I didn't want to waste any time.

- - - - - -

Around 2:00 pm, I received an email from my co-op's president, telling the board about some issues people were having with our managing agent. (No, I won't go into any details here for privacy concerns.)  But this triggered my need to check in with her, resulting in a set of questions we need answered by our site representative, and a task for this person to take care of.

Next, I called my doctor's receptionist, and she established an account for me on their system.  Although I am connected, I can not yet send messages to the doctor via this portal.  Luckily, I'll be speaking with the receptionist again this week, as I have to schedule another appointment with the doctor (as well as scheduling a liver scan at Northwell's local office).

Now, I was ready to prepare to go to the store.  But I lallygagged a little, and it wasn't until 6:00 pm that I decided to go into the shower.  By the time I was ready to go out, it was raining.  But I didn't know hard it was raining until I got to the front door.  In for a penny, in for a pound - and I was out the door in the pouring rain.  Things got even worse, as my car's accident prevention system couldn't see through the pouring rain.  If I made it to Macy's by 8:00 pm, I'd pick up my dress.  If not, at least I was driving slow and safe.  

I arrived at Macy's around 7:40 pm, and the rain had eased off a little.  10 minutes later, I was out of the store, and the rain started up again.  So I drove home slowly and safely.  By the time I got home, the rain had eased off again, so I wasn't soaking wet as I got in my door.  But this is a trip I should have  deferred until the morning, and will do so next time it's raining this hard.

- - - - - -

On other matters, I was originally scheduled to see DCD tonight for dinner.  Now that he's late in making his monthly car payment, he is avoiding me.  Since I know that his car is off the road due to his actions, it serves him right to try to make it home in this rain via public transit.  Karmic justice....

I knew that this would be a problem

 

No, that is not my old car.  It's been generations since America knew how to build cars with real style.  But it reminds me of how much of a relic I have become in my old age.

- - - - - -

Like old cars, old friendships have their costs of maintenance.  In the case of DCD, I owed him for helping me move furniture, so that my (then) new carpet could be installed.  So, I figured that I could pay him back by offering him my old car at a below market price.  And this is where the problem comes up.  DCD is not paying me the money he owes me in a timely manner.

My brother and I talked about DCD a while back, and he figured that DCD would skip out on his payments.  Although I also figured this would happen, I am not bothered too much - the old car is out of my parking spaces, and is now his responsibility.  The other day, DCD told me that he failed to get "permanent" plates put on the car because he couldn't get in for an emissions test on time.  Dollars to donuts that this is a BS excuse from him.  Instead, RQS and I both think it is because he doesn't have the money to register the car in his legal state of residence - Connecticut.  

DCD had major health problems a few years back, and maintains legal residency at his (ex) girlfriend's house.  Ideally, he should find out how to switch his legal residence to New York (where he is a de facto resident), while keeping his Obamacare/Medicaid coverage.  But he doesn't do this.  As a result, he is paying an extra tax on the value of the car so that he can legally register the car in Connecticut, not jeopardizing his official Connecticut residency. 

- - - - - -

Do I think I will ever get all of the money DCD owes me?  No.  He is not a responsible person.  He avoids awkward situations, as I did almost 30 years ago - before I was forced to grow up.  Right now, he doesn't have a pot to piss in, and in late middle-age, that's a very bad thing.  I'm grateful I don't have his life to live.

By the time you read this....

By the time you read this post, I should be back from my cruise.  I figure that I'll have a lot to write about in the time I was gone.  Did I overcome my anxiety?  Did I really have anything major to worry about?  How did our time in London go with my niece?  So many questions, and I hope to be able to answer them here.

- - - - - -

There's a part of me that wishes that my friends could all get their acts together and live the best lives that they can live.  Unfortunately, I often meet people who can't get out of their own way (such as DCD) or who are afraid to leave their comfort zones (such as MAR).  This can be frustrating, as one invests a certain amount of emotional energy into every friendship, and it's frustrating to see people fail when success should be in their grasp.  For example, do I expect to see DCD get his car on the road?  No.  Given the screw-ups he has had in getting the car out of my parking lot and getting to DMV to register the car, I expect that the car will die of neglect.  MAR has a similar method of failure, as she is unable to follow through on advice given to her to escape her current dead-end career.  Do I expect to see her apply for a job at the post office?  No.  She'll likely make excuses for why she hasn't done so.

The key difference between me and these friends is that I eventually leave my comfort zone to grow.  Going out and about as Marian was scary at first.  But it is now second nature.  The other day, I wrote to the Bermuda board of tourism and found out that I should not have any problems with being gender non-conforming.  However, I am waiting for a response from their Immigration department to be safe. (If I don't get one, I'll ask the security people at the pier when I'm there in Mario mode.)  Growth is not always comfortable.  And by the time you read this, I'll have grown a little as a seasoned traveler..

Giving DCD his keys - A short post

 

I knew that if I were to go out today, it would be as Marian.  And the only thing on my docket was to meet DCD after work and give him the keys to his car.

- - - - - -

This morning, I woke up early.  So I made myself some breakfast, and went back to sleep for a while.  By the time I got up again, it was noon, and all I had the energy to do was to put folded laundry back into the drawers, and to hang some garments up in their appropriate closets.  When I finally was in the mood to get ready to meet DCD, it was 5:30 pm - and I put on one of the more comfortable dresses I have.

A problem I've been having lately is that one of my ear piercings wants to close up.  I may have to go back to the piercing studio and have the piercing redone.  But I'll wait until after I return from my Norway cruise to do this.  At least, I was able to push the pin through my earlobe without any pain, and wear some nice hoops.

I reached the diner where I was to meet DCD around 7:45 pm.  I figured that I'd get a seat and let him find me.  Well, he was a little bit late, so I made sure to hand him his keys before doing anything else.  Over dinner, we chatted about many things, but mostly his problems in dealing with confrontation.  He'll retreat from almost anything that makes him feel uncomfortable unless he has no escape.  So, tonight was not a night to prod him - I did more than that this past weekend.

DCD told me how he got the car off the car carrier, and into a parking space.  I wouldn't have known how to do this.  So, he must have part of a brain to work with.  This made me glad, as I feel that he didn't screw things up to get the car off the carrier.  What did bother me is that he didn't have enough cash to pay for his meal, and that I had to front him $10 for his share of the bill.

On the way to his mom's place, DCD started talking about his family (and his ex-family - he is divorced), and how everyone expected him to screw up.  He accused his ex-wife of sabotaging him towards the end of their marriage, and even to poison the relationship between him and his children. Later on, I discussed this with RQS, and we both agreed - DCD doesn't want to take responsibility for his mistakes in life, and that others' expectations were likely based on objective reality.

At least, there is one thing DCD and I agree on: Our former therapist would never have been able to deal with my gender issues, and that I was wise not to bring them up with him....

Catching up on things.

 

Catching up on things going on in my life....

1. This past weekend, RQS came up earlier than usual for a Friday.  Although Friday's schedule became open due to DCD's car financing issues (he didn't have enough money saved to register the car), the rest of the weekend's schedule would be affected due to DCD's problems in getting his car (my old Honda) out of my parking spaces.
   
   Although it rained most of Saturday, we had to stay around the house because DCD was supposed to come up with a car carrier and take the car away.  Sadly, he screwed that up, as he was supposed to have a friend come with him - and the friend's no-show prevented DCD from getting to U-Haul on time to get the car carrier.  We were a bit frustrated, as we could have spent the day at the movies, instead of watching reruns on TV.
   
   Sunday came, and DCD finally came up with the car carrier after work.  Although he was later than expected, we got the car running enough to get it on the car carrier, and finally out of the parking space where it dwelled for the past 5 weeks. However, he misplaced the car keys, and this proved to be a problem for him.
   
   DCD had lost the keys to the car, and was going to go to Honda to get new keys cut and programmed.  Luckily, on Monday, the car keys were found, and I arranged to give them to him tomorrow.  (DCD was a topic of conversation between RQS and I until I dropped her off at the train station Monday morning.)
   
   
2. I got in contact with my friend Vicki, and we were able to have an impromptu dinner on Monday.  Something happened to her that will have her thinking about her future and what she wants to do with it.  Since something like this happened to me a while back, I gave her the benefit of my experiences, and hope that she finds a way that is best for her in her forward path.
   
   
3. An appointment with my GP is coming up, and I am not looking forward to this visit, as I gained a few pounds on my last cruise.  (Normally, the increased physical activity on cruises causes me to lose weight.  But not this time.)  Part of me wants to postpone this visit, but this would likely be a mistake.
   
   
4. The two garments I expected from Universal Standard came on Saturday.  One of these outfits (a jumpsuit) looks good on me - especially if I'm wearing the right color bra and wearing my jean jacket over it.  The other garment, a sleeveless dress, doesn't look as good on me, and I'm thinking of returning it for credit.  Will I do so?  Who knows?  Maybe RQS can give me her opinion when she comes back here on the weekend.
   

Now, the car is gone - finally!

It took DCD long enough!  Today, he rented a U-Haul truck and a car carrier to remove his car from my parking spot.  And I screwed things up a little by not running the car engine over the past few months, letting the battery drain to the point where it wouldn't start the car.

DCD was supposed to get to my place by 5:00 pm.  However, he had problems with the truck he rented and had to exchange it for one with working Heat/Air Conditioning.  He got a little bit lost on the way to my place, but he made it here without incident.  And then the "fun" began.  DCD tried to start the car without luck.  I had seen the signs of this when my former cruise partner and I got stuck after a visit to NYC.  So I knew what was needed - jumper cables.  While I fetched starter cables, DCD drove the truck into the space next to my old car.  We got the car started without problem, and the engine started running well after a few minutes.  

Our next step was to get the car on the carrier hitched to the back of the truck, and we hesitated a bit because the rain had started up again.  DCD drove the car onto the carrier, and fastened it to the carrier before turning off the engine.  I then told him to separate the car keys, so that if one got lost, he'd be able to get back into the car, and this would be an issue later on.  Then, we took the better part of an hour to turn the truck (and car carrier) around.  Around 7:30 pm, we were done, and DCD was on his way.

Around 9:00 pm, I got a phone call from DCD.  He made it home, and would be storing the car at a friend's place.  But he made one mistake - he lost the keys,  Of course, it was an "I told you so" moment, and I made sure to do just that, as he always has to learn the hard way by making big mistakes.  At least, I am now done with the car, and it is completely his responsibility to take care of it.  

Before he left, I told him that he can start paying me for the car in July.  I'll bet that it will take him that long to get the car on the road again....

The car is gone. (Not!)

 

The original title of this post is one I hoped would be true when I thought of something to write about.  I've known that DCD has always been a flake of some sort, avoiding harsh truths when he thinks he could take an easy way out.  So I had my worries that he would flake out in the middle of the car transfer process.  For all I care, he could take the old car and not pay me for it.  I simply wanted it out of my parking spot.  And this is where I had my concerns when he said that he couldn't take possession of the car until early May....

Well, early May came and DCD decided to flake out on me.  I asked him if things are going OK with DMV, and all I got was:

After this - Crickets!   He didn't respond to messages, nor did he answer to phone calls.  He has the signed bill of sale, and all the paperwork needed to register the car in his name.  But if he can't register the car AND the car is stuck in my driveway, I'm the one holding the bag for the car until I can figure out a way to get the title back in my name and a proper copy of the release of lien.

DCD is acting like an embarrassed child who is afraid to take responsibility for his actions.  Sadly, I still have to act like an adult and deal with him until he does the right thing.  Then, I can disconnect completely, as his "friendship" has been shown to be worthless.

The car is no longer mine - a quick post

 

DCD and I finally did it.  Tonight, I signed over the car to him, and he can start the process of getting the car back on the road.

I'll miss this car.  But my current car is a better choice for me.  I need the safety features in the car, as I no longer have the alertness that I had 50 years ago.  Even now, I have started thinking about how long I will continue to be able to safely drive a car.  I'm roughly 67 years old, and I can see the differences between how I drove when just a few years younger and how I drive now.

Hopefully, the car will serve him well.  I wish him the best while he owns it, as he really needs a set of wheels to commute to and from his job.

- - - - - -

On other matters, I picked up my tax paperwork today and then filed these forms.  State taxes were in the range I expected, but at the low end of the range.  Federal taxes were slightly overpaid, so I will eventually get a refund which will go to my clothing budget.

I'm still cleaning out my old car - a quick post.

 

Right now,  my old car is sitting in my driveway.  The plates are off the car, and I'll soon be signing the paperwork needed to transfer the title to DCD.  Although I don't intend to clean out the car completely, I will take most of the next week to gradually get the rest of my crap out of the car, so that DCD can vacuum it out at his leisure.

I'll miss this car.  But I like the car I'm driving now.  It has quite a few miles before it gets mechanically old.  That's a good thing, as I don't want to have the car die on the road while I'm presenting as Marian.  (This happened with my PT Cruiser after 120k miles, and I didn't think it worth while to install a new transmission on a car that was worn out.)

In certain ways, a new car is like a new life.  Given that I have bloomed because I am out as Marian, I wanted a car that reflected my risk adverse nature and a car which I could enter and exit in a lady like fashion.  My new car allows me to do that.

I'm almost ready to sign away my old car.

 

Sometimes, I feel like I'm negotiating a contract with the fellow on the left.  DCD asks me a lot of questions that he should be able to answer by himself, such as computing Connecticut's tax on the car which he will soon be registering.

The other day, I met for DCD for a bite to eat, and I was ready to sign the bill of sale and the title, so that he could take these forms, plus the release of lien, and get the car registered in his name.  He wasn't ready to do that, as he still had to schedule an in-person visit to Connecticut DMV to get the car registered and get the plates for the car.  Hopefully, we'll be able to take care of this soon.

- - - - - -

Right now, the old car is sitting in an assigned parking spot, waiting for DCD to drive it away.  I want it gone by the end of the month, as I don't want a car I can't drive sitting in my driveway as long as my old PT Cruiser sat after its transmission failed.  Although I gave away that car 10 years ago, it never got on the road again.  The new owner planned to get the car fixed and never did, as he passed away before he had the chance to do so.

I'm lucky to have two parking spots I can use, as one spot blocks in the car in front of it when two cars are parked in these spots.  This is not much of an issue for a married couple, as they would be able to move a car so that the blocked-in car could get out.  But it wouldn't work if the two cars were owned by non-relatives. Yet, if I could find a Cheap, Low-Mileage, Well-Maintained 2 seat gas fueled Smart car, I might buy it - if only to be able to visit RQS and have a good chance of finding a parking spot quickly.

- - - - - -

If this deal with DCD falls through, I might put my old car back on the road again, just to have something cheap to drive to RQS's place.  Hopefully, this won't happen.....

Emptying out my old car is a pain!

 

I never knew how much stuff I had stashed in my Honda Civic until I started emptying it out.  Not only did I find out that the Civic had more room in its trunk than the Crosstrek has in its storage area, but I am also finding a lot of stuff in the nooks and crannies of the passenger compartment that I have to find homes for.

My first pass at cleaning out the old car resulted in me putting a large storage container into my apartment's downstairs storage compartment.  Then, I realized that things such as my phone charger were left in the old car.  So, I transferred them to the new car the next day.  Of course, there was even more stuff to transfer, such as my "coin can" (container for spare change) and my "Club" (steering wheel lock).  And still, I have to get around to cleaning stuff out from under the seats and then doing a factory reset on the old car to clear out my Bluetooth/phone settings.

Luckily, DCD won't be able to take possession of the car for at least another week or so.  This means that I still have a little time to clean out the car and get it ready for him.

An evening with DCD

 

DCD is a strange person.  He doesn't always learn from his past, and he makes the same type of mistakes over and over again.  Tonight was a typical example of dealing with him....

- - - - - -

I met DCD at a New Rochelle diner a little after he completed work for the day.  When he arrived, he started to tell me what was going on in his life, and I mentioned that his present situation with his girlfriend is similar to where I was with Ex-GF-M over 10 years ago.  His girlfriend is addicted to tobacco and alcohol, and wants DCD to participate in the addiction triangle: Person A, Person B, and the Addiction.  Whether or not Person B is addicted or not, Person B's behavior will either be that of participating in an addiction, or trying to deal with Person A's addiction.  DCD is the latter type.

I'm not saying that DCD has his act together.  He doesn't pay attention to advice given to him by well meaning friends, nor does he car about things such as payment instructions.  We chatted a little about Zelle and I mentioned that I don't use it because it has become a hacker's paradise.  Once a hacker is able to get into your account via Zelle fraud, the banks have a nasty habit of saying that your money is lost forever.  Yet, when we finished our meal, DCD didn't ask me how I wanted to get paid - he sent me money via Zelle!  This pissed me off!!!!  I planned to take the advice given by Clark Howard (Clark.com), and avoid the use of Zelle to protect myself from scams.  And now, I had to use it to receive money from DCD!  AARGH!!!!!  (No wonder why his relationships fail - he doesn't pay attention to any important messages from anyone.)  Luckily, I don't have any banking apps on my phone, and avoid them like the plague.  I prefer to use my PC or Chromebook for financial transactions, and was able to use one of my lesser bank relationships to receive DCD's money.

When I asked DCD why he uses Zelle, he mentioned that he doesn't like "float".  What he did wasn't related to float.  Instead, it was related to his record keeping - he doesn't want to worry about whether a check has cleared or not - if he does a small value payment via Zelle, the money has left his account and his account inquiry always shows a current balance.  (One the way home, I mentioned this to RQS, and she said that DCD will continue doing things his own way, and not care about what others say to him in regard to their interactions with him.)

I'll end up seeing DCD again on Friday, if only to hand him paperwork for the car.  Hopefully, he won't screw things up, as I want the car out of my driveway within the next 2 1/2 weeks.

By the time you read this....

 

By the time you read this, several things will have happened:

1. My taxes will be in the process of being prepared.
2. I will be in possession of my new car.
3. DCD will have started his process of getting the car registered in his own name.
4. I will have given RQS her birthday present.
5. My luggage will be opened, and packing will start for my California Cruise.

Of course, a lot of things will have happened in between then and now.  And you'll be able to read about them over the next few days.

- - - - - -

When I told my brother about my tax situation, I realized how much my brother wants to isolate my financial life from his.  I should mention that he wouldn't give me a recommendation for an accountant if I needed one this year, but would only help me file estimated taxes to buy a little time for me.  My guess is that if an acquaintance of his sees my returns, then they will have an idea of what a slice of my brother's life looks like.

Cleaning out my old car has helped me find things I had misplaced over the years.  One of these things was a canvas bag that I thought was in RQS's place.  Surprise!  It was in my car's trunk.  There was way too much stuff back there, and I'm glad that I am finally emptying it out.  (Guess what I'll be doing on Monday!)

Now that I have the information needed to get my new car on the road, I can give DCD the information he needs to start his process.  Hopefully, I'll have the old car out of my driveway soon.  If not, I know of at least one charity that takes donated cars.

Even though a bought theater tickets for RQS's birthday, I ordered a little something from Amazon for her to open up on the birthday itself.  Hopefully, she will like it.

And lastly, packing....   This will be a trip where I will spend one day as Mario and the rest as Marian. (I must visit my uncle while presenting as Mario.)  It's going to be nice to wear some warmer weather clothes for a change.  (I haven't worn a dress in California in ages, except while in transit to/from Hawaii.)  Since it will be Spring when I arrive, I have to bring sweaters (and a windbreaker) - especially for my time in San Francisco.  RQS's cousin knows I am trans, so it will be nice NOT to have to change into a pair of trousers when in San Diego....

I got a call today - my new car has arrived!

 

Now is the time, the Walrus said, to speak of many things.  Of shoes and ships and sealing wax, and whether pigs have wings....  Well, I probably have mangled a line from Lewis Carroll's "The Walrus and the Carpenter".  But I feel that I could write a short story about buying a car with the little nuisances I had to deal with in the process of doing so.  Yet, this is not the place for a long, drawn out story.

- - - - - -

So, what did I end up doing?

First, I drove to the bank to get a cashier's check to pay for the car.  Given that inflation has taken a lot of value from our currency, I still find it hard to believe that I paid more for this car than I put down as a down payment on my apartment.  And then I was worried a little that I didn't get the right kind of check from the bank.

Next, it was a call to my insurance company to find out what I need to do to get the insurance transferred to the new car.  I learned that things had changed, and that once the paperwork is started, the old car is covered for 24-48 hours.  This is good to know, as I will need to make sure that DCD can pick up the old car with his own plates.

Finally, I was able to contact the salesman to tell him that I'd be coming in on Tuesday to pick up the new car.  Of course, he wants me to speak to a final person who will try to sell me add-ons.  I know which ones I want and don't want, but I will deal with this on Tuesday.

- - - - - -

Now that my need to be out as Mario was over, I could rest a bit before going to a meetup as Marian.  It was nice to pretty myself up again, as I know that I'll soon be stuck in Mario mode for the better part of a week. But I wasn't sure that I wanted to go to the meetup, and I would have been better off by bailing out.  The activity was a music themed bingo at a local sports bar, and it was too loud there for me to enjoy myself.  If I didn't have a bite to eat while there, I could have gotten into playing bingo.  So, with this in mind, I took my leave a little early and drove home for the night

I'm a little upset at someone who just can't wait....

 

The other day, I offered DCD a deal where he could buy my car for 2 years of affordable car payments.  I'm not in any hurry to give him information on my car needed for registration until I have the same information on my new car ready for my insurance agent.  Knowing DCD as I do, he's in a rush to get things done, and I know that he'll screw things up if I supply information ahead of time.

Recently, DCD started pestering me for this information, saying:

In my efforts to plan accordingly between insurance, DMV, and our logistics, I wanted to talk about a game plan since we are in the last two weeks of March.

- - - - - -

I understand your concerns. Keep in mind that I am not legal to drive your car until I register it. I do have old plates, but I am not supposed to use them.

I tried to make an appointment with DMV. I was not able to determine how far out they are with appointments.

Yes, I know that things should be OK.  However, I'm doing things on my time frame, not his.  By the time you see this post, I should be in my new car, and this will have been resolved.  I'll have transferred my plates and insurance to the new car, and DCD should have started the process of getting new plates and insurance for what will now be his car.

Keep your fingers crossed that my car will come in on time....

Sometimes, dealing with friends can be frustrating

 

Part of the process of buying a new car includes disposing of the old car.  In my case, I have a targeted recipient for the new car - DCD.  He has a fair deal waiting for him as long as he doesn't blow it.  How often can someone get a well maintained car for under $2,500?  (What I'm not telling him is that if anything major goes wrong with the car, I'll forgive the remaining balance on the loan I'm floating for him. It's an effective $100/month car rent to own deal.)

Late last night, DCD started asking me for information on the car (VIN number, etc.) as if he was going to register and insure the car tomorrow.  This is frustrating.  It's not as if he is going to get the car on a fixed schedule - I have to get the same information from my new car's dealership so that my insurance agent can do his magic. And I don't expect that information for a week or two yet.

I figure that this is a small price to pay to get rid of an old car to get a new one in my driveway.  Yet, DCD adds a bit to my frustration because he is over eager to get this car in his driveway.  He is known for doing stupid things such as seeing the engine light come on due to overheating, and driving his car until the engine seized. Then, he had another car which got totaled, and he had to pay off the other driver to keep his mom's insurance from being dinged.  So, I have my doubts that he will be able to keep this car on the road for the 2 years I expect that this car could last if well maintained.

In reality, I'm treating this "sale" as if I am giving him my car.  I owed him a favor, and this is my way of returning it.  He's getting a car at a very affordable price, with a hidden, unspoken warranty that the car will last two years if properly maintained.  Hopefully, he will be able to keep this car on the road for the next two years.

Car Shopping - Weekend #5

 

It looks like I have finally made a decision on which car to buy.  After 5 weekends, I decided on the Subaru Crosstrek, as the Premium trim level has all the safety features I think I will need over the next few years.  Although there are things I don't like about the car, such as the CVT transmission, it has enough good elements in its design where I think this will be a car I'm comfortable with for the next 10 years or so.

You might be asking - what convinced me to buy this car and why did I choose my local dealership over the others in this area?

Well, the answer is simple.  I felt it a comfortable car to drive.  It had all the safety features I wanted and more (such as assisted driving modes that can make stop and go traffic much easier to bear.) And, when the salesman came back to me with a price, it was a fair price, one lower than expected.  There was no need to haggle to get the last penny out of the deal.

Assuming that I buy this car, it will be ordered for me.  This way, the dealer doesn't have to have it count as part of his allocation, and for some reason it produces savings that can be passed on to me if I can wait a little bit.  But this means that I will need to keep my current car on the road for a little more time.

But what happens to my old car after the new one arrives?

That's where things get complicated.  

DCD has asked about buying my car several times.  And now that I will have an extra car to be taken off my hands, DCD claims to have a Unicorn of a deal.

I am having issues with the unicorn. I found a person seeking to sell a 2008 Toyota Camry SE with 105K in supposedly remarkable condition for $1000. So I questioned the legitimacy of this and I was told that they are a reservist in the national guard being called to duty for a year. To avoid wasting money, storing the car and paying for insurance they are looking to sell it. The pictures that I saw show a showroom condition car. And yes the photos are of the actual car.

This car is being sold on eBay.   Would you trust such a deal as described?   When one doesn't have enough money to rent a studio apartment in which to live, one can't take unnecessary risks with money.   Yet, I've never known DCD to manage his money well.  So, I think he's going to chase down this unicorn until the effort costs him more than his time is worth. (And that assumes that the "deal" is legitimate.)  I'm afraid that he will get screwed, but it is his life, not mine.....

Car Shopping - Weekend #3

 

The above picture is an ad produced for a New York City area bank (which I ended up working for a few years after this ad campaign).  They wanted to show the public that they would lend money on any major car brand, then: Ford, Chevy, AMC, Chrysler, and Volkswagen.  Although more brands have appeared in the American market in the past 50 years, the process of buying a car is just as frustrating now as it was when I bought my first car.

This weekend, I wanted to take test rides in 3 cars: The Subaru Crosstrek, the Honda HR-V, and the Mazda CX-30.  Although all 3 would be good choices, I am leaning towards choosing either the Crosstrek or the HR-V.  Both are excellent cars, and both have all the options I want for a similar price.  RQS leans towards the Crosstrek because of its display.  I'm still torn between the two due to my prior experience with the Honda brand.  What I see as an advantage with the Subaru is equaled by my experience with my Honda Civic.

On Friday, I picked up RQS at the station, and we test drove a Subaru.  I was pleasantly surprised how good this car felt.  It was a car which I wouldn't be bumping my head into the door frame upon entering the car - and I like that.  Although a 15 minute drive is way too short to evaluate a car, it was enough for me to make it my number 2 (or even my number 1) pick. At the end of this test drive, I knew I needed to drive this car again before making a final decision.

Saturday came, and we didn't get out of the house until mid afternoon.  Our first stop was at a Honda dealership to drive the HR-V.  And RQS was equally impressed with this car.  It seems like this is an extremely popular model, as this model seems to be sold as quickly as it is delivered to the dealership. Once done with this dealership, we ended up at another Honda dealership.  This time, they had no HR-Vs in stock for me to drive.  In fact, half of the cars in this dealer's showroom were used cars.  How this dealership makes money I'll never know.

- - - - - -

I made an offer to DCD that he could buy my current car for book value.  Given that the car has over 200k miles on it, but has been well maintained, DCD figures the value to be about $2,500.  Since I am not going to be holding a note on this car, I wanted a check for this amount if I were to sell him the car.  Today, I found out that he is not able to get this amount of money from his bank, "The bank of Mom".  So, I guess I'll end up letting the dealer take my old car off my hands.

In the end, I expect to be $33k poorer than I am now, but with a car that's safer to drive.  The only questions are: (1) Which car will I choose, and (2) When will I drop the hammer on the deal?

Sending a letter

 

The other day, I sent a letter to someone I once knew.  It was meant to be a polite way of reopening a channel of communications between two people, as the holidays would be a good time to see if this person was looking for a way to reopen up communications between us.

- - - - - -

This got me thinking - how many people have we lost contact with because of things getting in the way? One acquaintance from my days running a FIDO BBS (Bulletin Board System) and I never seem to connect with each other, although we occasionally try to do so.  He has a rewarding family life, with a wife and children.  Hopefully, we'll be able to connect soon.  DCD has had health and family problems.  But he is a friend of questionable value, as he doesn't make much of an effort to stay in contact anymore, now that his life is falling apart.  Most of my polyamorous friends in the "North Country" have scattered to the winds, and I don't miss them because we never built strong bonds.  And I don't go to many meetups these days, as I haven't found many of the groups conducive to making friends. 

Did I gain much from meetup groups?  Well, with one meetup group, I made some good friends I can count on to be there for me on occasion.  With others, I have made one or two friends.  But, for the most part, I gained invaluable experience being out in the world as Marian.  And this is what counts....