I chatted with a financial advisor, and it wasn't a good fit.

 

People who read my former blog may remember my favorite "Bedspread."  This display of cash is what my former girlfriend won on one of her casino visits.  But why do I show this picture again?  Well, I chatted with a financial advisor, and we weren't on the same track.

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I'm not knocking what this advisor proposed.  My ideas of what I want to do with my money after my demise are not yet firmed up.  Do I want to leave the bulk of my assets to a charitable trust (and associated charity) yet to be set up?  Or, do I want to leave the bulk of my assets to my niece and nephew?

This is not the place to discuss details of my financial situation.  But I will say that I have enough money to retire comfortably - if I'm careful with my money.  In addition to my 401(k) which has to be tapped by the time I'm 72, I am already drawing on a pension, and I hope to inherit some money in the future.  (I don't count on that inheritance, and would be just as happy if what was left to my brother and I were only good memories of my benefactor.)  

But I digress....

I have a idea of setting up a scholarship fund which couldn't be touched for 50-70 years.  In that time, money should double 5-7 times.  If the latter, my original bequest to the fund should be worth 128 times what it is today.  (Let's ignore inflation for a moment.)  The problem - who would want to manage a trust for 50-70 years without tapping into its funds?  How do I provide for the transfer of control, so that trustees have guidance to select who would replace them over the "compounding years" over this trust? With the amount of money this scholarship trust could generate, I could help lift a small island nation out of poverty by providing the skill sets they might need to bring high skill jobs to that nation.

I want to provide for my brother's kids.  My niece is starting to do well.  But my nephew has not yet gotten into the most productive years of his career.  How much money do I want to leave to the "kids?" This is another question that needs to be answered.

Until I've figured this stuff out, I may just have to stand pat and do almost nothing for a while....

Commenting on a conversation with Vicki

 

As many of my readers know, I have a job that can be done by a trained monkey for peanuts.  Since they already pay peanuts to us humans anyway, it isn't worth the personnel costs to switch over to a non-human labor force.  Nor do they want to deal with PETA for the mistreatment of animals....

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A job like I have doesn't call for much mental horsepower.  This means I have way too much time to think, and the wrong things have been occupying my headspace.  So I have to work on changing things as much as possible. And that may mean that I will have to look for a new job sooner than I'd like to do so.

This was not the most comfortable conversation I've had with Vicki, as she had more anger than I have had regarding events of the past year.  In certain ways, it feels like I'm being gaslighted because some of my observations and comments in conversations with another person are not triggering a response acknowledging some responsibility for mutual problems. Vicki notices that, and will not let go of her anger towards this person.  At least, I know that I can always count on Vicki to tell me the truth as she sees it - and we've never been in the sort of ambiguous situation where logic would imply one thing, but facts presented would imply something else. 

Eventually, she will move from her current home, and I will miss her dearly.  This date will come way too soon....

I never thought we'd have a civil word again.

 

Over the past couple of weeks, my ex girlfriend I have been having a civil exchange of emails. I can't say where this will lead. But it would be nice to have a friendship again.  Yes, the topic that caused us to argue still makes me feel sad.  But that's the price I pay for my side of the dispute. And I won't go into this much further.

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Life keeps throwing me curve balls, and I keep trying to hit them.  Sometimes, I get a hit.  Sometimes, I hit a foul.  And at other times, I strike out.  It's amazing that I find the energy to do this after all these years, even though my heart isn't always into it.  That often applies to romance, as I don't like being alone for long.

Years ago, when I lost my wife, I didn't take the time to heal.  No one was there to guide me, or to advise me.  Such is life.  Yet, I survived my past.  A few months after her passing, I wrote a letter to a woman who I was once engaged to (CSN), and hadn't seen in 12 years. Strangely enough, we had a few dates, and then things petered out.  She was still the same person that I remembered, save that she was clueless about how most people really are.  Like me, she was a person who could not "code shift" her message to fit the needs of her audience.

Over the years, I've had some fun looking up CSN's information on the internet with no intention of getting together again.  Since this woman has an almost invisible internet presence, I find it interesting how little information is available about her.  Yet, I found out some interesting tidbits, such as an inkling of how her father was passing on assets to her without negative tax consequences or probate consequences.  Hopefully, the financial advice she got was optimal, as I'd like to see this woman do well.

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I'd love to have a good reason to bump into some exes again, especially the woman who was my first girlfriend about 45 years ago.  In her case, I'd like to thank her for causing me to think about my life and becoming a unique individual, not an imitation of someone else.  Like CSN, she has a small internet fingerprint, and is even harder to find.  She shares her name with a formerly popular Hollywood actress.  Hopefully she's doing well, and that she has a pleasant memory of that summer we were together.

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So, my train of thought comes back to the most recent ex.  Trust can only be rebuilt over time.  The slightest screw up can cause much good will to be squandered in an instant.  We both hurt each other a lot, either by design or by ignorance.  Either way, I don't want to cause her any more pain....