A long day where I don't feel I accomplished much. (a short post)

 

Tonight, I'm too tired to say much.  Yet, I did have a long day in spite of things..

But first....

I had a doctor's visit scheduled for mid morning.  If I could have, I'd have skipped it.  But if I stop going, I know my health will get worse.  So I tolerate the bad news to keep myself functioning as best I can.

After this, I had a zoom meeting with my niece.  Neither of us had much to talk about other than current American events - and that gets tiring after a while.

Given that I had dinner with Vicki scheduled for the evening, I got things ready, so that I could go out as Marian.  And then, I tried to take a 2 hour nap, after which, I didn't feel rested.  So I put on my makeup and got dressed, then off I went to the Japanese restaurant to have dinner.

Dinner with Vicki wasn't bad.  Neither of us could finish what we ordered, so I let her take home the leftovers.  We chatted about personal relationships, my cruise, and her friend who may need her to visit.  Once done, it was off to the stores for more shopping.

Eventually, I made it home, stored what I bought, and finally got to relax.   Not really much to say, other than a list of things I did without much context.  One thing of note: RQS's complaint letter to JetBlue got the attention of a mucky muck in corporate, and I got the message on my voicemail.  So I forwarded it to her, so that she can call them back in the morning.

A chat with my niece

 

It's been a while since I've been able to chat with my niece.  So it was a refreshing opportunity to talk with her again.  

- - - - - -

One of the things we always seem to be talking about is how the Orange Snowflake is F'ing up America.  Now that she's living overseas, she's relatively immune from the insanity that's hit this country.  This chat was no different.  One of the things I mentioned was how a former Fundamentalist Christian, Benjamin Covey, could argue that the Orange Snowflake is the Antichrist. Her dad still accepts the rhetoric that the snowflake has successfully closed off the borders to illegal immigration, when statistics showed that things were slowing down before he took power.  We talked about the random sweeps of immigrant communities, where any person of color is rounded up - not just those who are here illegally.  Foreign citizen legal residents are being rounded up, detained, and illegally sent to foreign prisons without justification.  In short, America has become a police state.

We talked about family issues as well.   Luckily, my brother was away from home, as this was a video call and I was already dressed as Marian, as we were going out for the day and I wanted to wear a nice, comfortable dress in the warm weather.  All too soon, the call had to end, and we scheduled something for next month.

 

Game Night - and I won a game for a change!

 

If anyone decided to organize a 43 Man Squamish league, I'd be first to buy season tickets.  Mind you, with the history of this fictitious sport, the league would have to pay me to attend its games - if they were ever played. 

- - - - - -

Tonight was Game Night in Yonkers.  Our host and his family took June off to have a nice vacation.  I was surprised to find them scheduling 2 nights for this month.  So, I marked myself as going, and made sure to keep my schedule up to date.

My niece called me up at the last minute and asked if I wanted to drive down to Long Island for dinner with her and her dad.  I'd normally have done so, as she's in town for only a couple of days before she flies home.  But, I made commitments with others, and apologized profusely.  So we'll do a zoom meeting in the AM.  

There was supposed to be two meetups going on tonight, and I planned to only attend the dinner one, as I had already seen the movie people would go to afterwards.  Well, the meetup was cancelled, and DS suggested we meet for dinner before game night.  I said yes, and we split a pizza at Frank Pepe's in Yonkers.  Being that this was a Thursday night, we had our choice of tables, and we caught up on what was going on in each other's lives.

When we were done with our pizza, I drove to Stew Leonard's to pick up a cheesecake for Game Night.  And then, I was off to play games.  Arriving there at 7:30, the host and hostess brought out some games, and I won the first game, and then was on the winning team for the second.  This was a pleasant change for me.  But what I was most interested in was the conversation.  The host's family had gone to Europe, and we talked about cruising for a bit before the games started.  After the games ended, I chatted with the hostess about how her family was affected by what's going on in DC.  (She's more afraid than I am, and has an equally good reason to be this way.)  I said that if things go really sour, I'd be glad to help take care of things I won't mention here.

The gathering ended up early, and I was chatting with RQS on the way home.  It's nice to know that she'll be here tomorrow.  But it will be a short weekend for us for the next 2 weeks.  Such is life. 

Now, we're thinking of taking one of two cruises next year.

 

The above two cruises interest me for completely different reasons.  The first is a 12-day mostly British Isles cruise.  The second is a 14-day cruise which visits English, Scottish, and Icelandic ports.  Both cruises have a stop in a European Mainland port before returning to Southampton.  Given the choice, I'd rather take the cruise that stops in Iceland before they get tired of cruisers visiting its ports.

If we were to take the 12-day cruise which visits English, Scottish and Irish ports, I'd be able to allocate more time to visit my niece before the cruise.  As much as I'd like to see more of London, I'm not in the mood to take the tube during the Summer.  Instead, I'd rather be able to stay above ground in air conditioned comfort as much as possible.

I figure that each of these cruises will be expensive bucket list trips.  Excursions (especially in Iceland) will be very expensive.  I have to look at how much we will need to spend, then keep RQS's budget in mind - she now has the cruising bug in her.  She can't afford to cruise as much as I can, and we try to go 50/50 on trip spending.

Unfortunately, I doubt that I'll be able to take either of these two cruises as Marian, given the unchecked power given to America's Customs and Border Control administration.  The Orange Snowflake has no love for us transgenders, and I don't want to be hassled by people who hate us.  (Luckily, I can still travel in stealth mode.) Hopefully, at some future date, I will be able to travel as Marian again.  Until then, it'll be stealth mode for me. 

How many of you have been to any of these port cities?  Did you like them?  Which cruise would you take?  Please let me know.... 

Zooming with my niece & Dinner with Vicki

 

My niece and I try to chat with each other via Zoom, as we live in separate time zones, separate nations, and separate continents.  She, like me, is wary of what is happening in the USA, and is worried about what will happen when she and her husband visit the US this month to see her brother compete in a sporting event.  So today's chat had American politics as a dominant theme, instead of what we prefer talking about.  

To deal with her visit to the US, she has deleted virtually all of her emails which reference US politics, as well as removing any social media from her phone.  She isn't too worried about her husband's phone, as he doesn't use social media.  However, she is concerned about him, simply because of the current xenophobic attitude of the regime currently in power.  

I discussed the conversation I had with her dad regarding how he treats her mom, as well as the conversation her mom had with me.  But I did not go into details, as I didn't want to make her a middle person.  However, I suggested that she keep tabs on her dad, as he is going through a lot of stress these days.  She is also being careful not to be caught in the middle of her dad and mom, as no one wins in these situations.

Hopefully, she and her hubby will have a pleasant visit to the US. 

- - - - - -

A few hours later, Vicki picked me up to go to eat at one of the Hudson Valley Restaurant Week (HVRW) restaurants.  Coordinating our schedules isn't always easy.  But now that she's semi-retired (she'll work if a good job comes her way), she has much more freedom to schedule things like HVRW dinners than in the past.

Today, we went to a new restaurant, Saint George, in Hastings.  I wanted to love this place, as it had the ambience and service that I would normally rave about.  However, the Beef Bourguignon left a lot to be desired, as it was presented as if it were a Shepard's Pie - and tasted the same.  This was not the French dish I was expecting.  And it caused both Vicki and I to give the place a "Thumbs  Down".  Maybe, if one of us had ordered something different, we'd have had a different opinion of the place.  But for now, we'll skip this place and go to other places in the area.

 

 

PS: We may be seeing Martin Sexton in June.  I wonder whether she will like his cover of the Beatles' Abbey Road album. (Unlike me, she is not a Beatles' fan.  I wish I could have been in Vegas to see Cheap Trick cover the Beatles' Sgt. Pepper album about 20 years ago.  It was a better performance than I expect Martin Sexton's performance will be.)

 

My niece just responded to a message from home

 

From my niece:

I have been paying attention. It's been a terrifying thing to watch and it's affecting everything, even things here. It's just really nerve wracking.  My hubby and  and I thought we might go visit soon but I don't know about it. A bit nervous about doing so.

This is the sad state of the world we now live in.  My niece (who is a US Citizen, married to a UK Citizen) is nervous about coming to the US to visit her dad.  What has this world come to?

- - - - - -

In normal times, Canadians would have no problems visiting the USA for 6 months at a time, and returning just soon enough to avoid being a US resident for taxation purposes.  Now, they are being treated like crap. There is a library on the US/Canada border which for years has allowed Canadians to use the US entrance to enter the building.  Now, because of the snowflake's supposed crackdown on illegal immigration and his vendetta against Canada asserting its independence, he wants to make life as miserable for Canadians as he possibly can.

Canadians are extremely unhappy about this.  They have cancelled military purchases from the US, and their people have been boycotting American goods.  Good for them!  I'd do the same if I were Canadian.  How dare the snowflake threaten the independence of what has been one of America's closest friends!  Luckily for Canadians, the boycott is having an effect on targeted American businesses.  And the snowflake is pissed that his bullying isn't getting the results that he wants.

Bullying seems to be the mantra of the current GOP.  The people it attracts are those who do not want to see a complex picture of how society and the economy works.  They want to return to a simpler time where white males made the rules, and all others had to submit to their authority.  They are afraid of any challenges to that authority, and run away from a public for whom they are doing a disservice.  They have called the transgender congresswoman from Delaware, Mr. McBride.  They now tell the public that only a traitor would say that missing a Social Security check or two is wrong.  They now tell the people that it is wrong to criticize the snowflake or to hold him accountable for his actions.  When will this nonsense end?

- - - - - -

But back to my niece....

I have recommended that she and her husband create a set of vanilla social network profiles, and fill them with posts that the snowflake wouldn't mind reading.  Keep everything bland as possible.  And then, carry phones that only reference the bland accounts, and not the ones they normally use.  Use these "safe" phones when visiting the US, and go back to their normal phones after returning home. If things start getting bad, make sure that her husband stays overseas and out of the reach of the US government's CBP personnel. And for her, try to stay away from the US unless absolutely necessary. (I told her to stay home if I die, and explain to her dad I told her to do this for her safety.)

This is a sad day when I have to tell my niece what I did.  But I want for her to stay safe, and this country is no longer safe for foreign residents/citizens who may wish to visit.  

 

 

 

PS: As of the day of this post, I read about a Canadian citizen who was arrested in Georgia by a police officer who claimed that her Canadian drivers license was not valid in Georgia.   Please pass the word to all foreign nationals that the USA is not a safe place to visit right now, as the law enforcement authorities have no check and balance against their own illegal activities.  We are becoming a police state, and I worry for anyone who still values their freedom.

Norwegian Fjord Cruise Vacation - 06/14/24 (Visiting the Tower Bridge and Family)

 

Neither RQS nor I wanted to get lost in the London Underground while staying for a short time in this large city.  So we decided to stay near our hotel and see some nearby sights.  Luckily, the Tower Bridge (often mistaken by tourists for the homely nearby London Bridge) and the Tower of London were near enough for us to spend a nice afternoon in the UK's capital city.

- - - - - -

We had no fixed plans for the day, and got moving a little late - but not late enough to enjoy the breakfast that came with our room.  With our stomachs filled to capacity, we walked from our hotel to the bridge, then started to explore the neighborhood on the other side of the bridge before returning to the bridge for a tour.

As many people know, the Tower Bridge is one of the most iconic sights in London, next to the Parliament building and Big Ben.  But many people don't know that one can go into the bridge's towers and walk across 70 cm thick glass panels to a tower on the opposite side of the Thames.  And that's where we encountered a family of "Karens."  

(Someone from the family of "Karens".)

One feature of many tall tourist attractions is a glass floor, where people can stand or sit on it to have their pictures taken.  The Tower Bridge has one of these floors, and many people dawdle while getting in their "important" photos.  While transiting the walkway between the towers there was a large family (I presume to be French, given their lack of concern for others) hogging space over a glass square.  When they shifted slightly, I posted RQS on the glass and started to take my picture.  And then the "Karen Family" decided to move into our square as I was starting to take my photo.  I was a little annoyed belted out (in my deep, rich, loud Mario voice) to STOP!  They were taken aback.  No one had ever challenged them for being inconsiderate before.  (Being a New Yorker does come in handy sometimes, as we don't have to care what some unknown "other" thinks of us.  Heck, the "F-Word" is only a mild intensifier here, with no one thinking the word is profane when Samuel L. Jackson utters it in this city.  But I digress.)  I got my picture, and then we left the walkway 10 minutes before these Karens.  (You should have seen them give us the "stink eye" as we rested in the gift shop.  But then, I don't care what my lessers think.)

Next, it was back to the hotel to rest, and wait for my niece (and husband) to come over for dinner.  We went to a nearby French restaurant (don't ever say that I claim that all things French are bad) and had a nice dinner.   All too soon, it was time to let my niece go to her sister in law's birthday party, and we bid each other farewell until next time.... 

Norwegian Fjord Cruise Vacation - 06/13/24 (Flying into London before the cruise.)

 

As I've mentioned before, this would be my first trip overseas and I would experience a lot of unknowns. But first, I feel that I should mention that this trip is being taken as Mario for convenience, as I'm not sure of how foreign governments (especially the UK) will deal with a visitor presenting ID for one gender while presenting as the other.

- - - - - -

RQS and I had a 7:15 pm flight to London, and everything went smoothly with our luggage.  However, I did have a problem when going through the TSA scan process - the machine was producing a false positive in my groin area.  The agent wanted to go through his whole spiel that if I had any contraband that I could be subject to the law, while I simply wanted to give him permission to do what he needs to do.  Something that should have been quick and easy had me telling RQS to watch my bags while the fellow did his thing.  This could have escalated into something bad had not a cooler head prevailed.  But I digress.

We now had 2 1/2 hours to kill at the airport, and we had a hard time finding both something good to eat and somewhere we could sit down to eat our meal.  There were 100 people in line around the Mickey D's we passed, and we ended up walking halfway to another terminal where we could eat gyros and falafel.  This killed some time, and we walked back to the gate where we'd board our plane.  And this is where RQS's cane became a great advantage for us.

Last year, RQS's leg was injured by someone falling onto her leg on the debarkation day for our Bermuda cruise.  She occasionally carries that cane for support.  The cane often becomes an asset in airports, as she is considered handicapped and in need of assistance.  So, we were able to skip ahead of the line and get on the plane without hassles, with me having no problems finding cabin space for our carry-on luggage.  After 6 1/2 hours on the plane, the cane again became an asset, as we were escorted to the head of the customs and immigration lines and out of the controlled area of the airport before 8:00 am.

Neither of us knew where we were going, but we knew that someone from Princess Cruises would be waiting for us, so that we could be driven to our hotel.  Another couple joined us in the van that took us to the hotel, but I wish we could have driven off without them.  No, it's not because they were unpleasant.  Instead, it was because of how I ended up being seated - facing backwards.  It took 2 hours to reach the hotel, and in a warm car driving a long twisting streets it could have ended up being a disaster.  I was getting nauseous, and I was glad to get out of the van and into the air conditioned comfort of my hotel.

Sadly, we arrived around 10:00 am, and they couldn't tell us that rooms might be available earlier than the official check-in time of 3:00 pm.  So RQS and I retreated to some chairs in the lobby and rested for several hours until we could check in to the hotel.  Once in our rooms, we passed out until 6:00 pm.

- - - - - -

My niece had arranged to meet us for dinner, and we walked over to a nearby restaurant for Fish and Chips.  If there's one thing that the British can do well, it's Fish and Chips.  Yum!  We even had a chance to eat some Mushy Peas.  (They may not be my cup of tea, but they were pleasant enough that I finished the portion.)  All too soon, we had to go to the hotel.  We now knew where the Tower of London was, and we made plans to see it the next day.  If things worked out with my niece, she'd meet us afterward.  If not, we have ways to spend our time on our last day in this city.  (And yes, it's a city where one should spend an entire week there to do a visit justice and to have one wanting more.)

 

Looking back at a long Christmas Weekend

 

RQS and I have talked about going to church together for a while.  With her, I think it's a form of curiosity about where I came from, and with me, it's a form of gaining comfort from old rituals from childhood.  So I was pleasantly surprised when she said "Yes" to going to Christmas Eve services.

But first....

It's been a while since I've been to RQS's place, so it was my turn to go to her place on Friday. Considering the frigid weather we were expecting, I didn't want to leave my car at Cortlandt station and have the engine fail to turn over when we got back there on Saturday.  The weather made my mind up for me - take a cab to Croton Harmon, and then take the train into NYC from there.  As usual, getting a cab wasn't as easy as it was before the pandemic, as no one was answering the cab service's main number.  I was lucky to find an alternate number, and then get my ride to the station.

Once at Croton Harmon, I found that I missed my train. There was a lady sitting next to me, and I chatted her up to kill time.  Seems like her Amtrak train to NYP was delayed for several hours, and that she was stuck waiting for it, as she had a linked connection to Boston.  If she took Metro North to GCT, then the subway to NYP, her second trip would be cancelled.  Hopefully, her daughter was able to make the itinerary change for her, as waiting for the tracks to get cleared between Poughkeepsie and Peekskill might take several hours more.

On the way to NYC, I saw the above "ship," and was unable to identify its purpose.  A couple of people identified it as a dredge.  But why is it being held above the water line?  Do any of my readers have an idea of what this is?

It's always a pain taking the subway to RQS's neighborhood, and on this trip it was no different.  When I got off the subway to take the bus to her place.  Boy, did I hate standing in the sub-freezing weather for the bus.  Once there, it was in for the night, and dinner came from a neighborhood pizza parlor.

- - - - - -

The next day, we trekked back up to my place, so that I could pick up a cheesecake from a local bakery. It was a much nicer trip going North, than it was going South.  However, I still had a minor problem getting a taxi to take us home to drop off our bags.  Usually, there is at least one cab waiting at Croton Harmon when trains come in.  This time, we had to wait about 20 minutes - and then, the driver had car problems.  AARGH!

Our next stop, after a pause for a bio-break was Homestyle Desserts in Peekskill for the Cheesecake.  This place has been here longer than I've lived in the area, and it is still going strong.  I was glad not to have left the car at the train station, as I had to clean ice off the car before driving it the 5  miles to the bakery.  After a quick stop at the bakery, then a stop at the local supermarket, we were home for a couple of hours.  Although it was tempting to stay warm and stay home, I changed into Marian mode and we went to church together.

People at the church know me only as Marian, and that's how I want them to know me.  I present as a tall, heavy 65 y/o woman, and want to be treated as such.  RQS was pleasantly surprised that this church experience was very similar to that she experienced as a child.  I chuckled that my mother would have mixed feelings about me going to church as Marian - she'd be glad to see me in a church, but be perplexed to see me as Marian.

- - - - - -

Christmas was special - this was the first one that RQS and I spent together, and the first one that she spent with my family.  After opening our gifts at home, we got ready to go to Long Island to my brother's place.  (I'm always in Mario mode for that.)  On the way down, I picked up a last minute gift for my step nephew.  None of us think much of him, as he's wasted his life.  But it would be a shame NOT to include him in the gift giving that took place that day.  (Thank god for Dunkin Donuts' gift cards and for CVS being open on Xmas.)  Traffic moved quickly, and we were at my brother's place in 90 minutes.  The gift exchange took place shortly after we arrived, and my brother gave me a gift for which I'll have a hard time finding a place - the Marx Brothers' Movie Poster (reproduction) above.  He loves finding things on action sites, and I'm pretty sure that he knew of my love for the Marxes' movies.  

We were at my brother's place for a few hours, and made plans to see my niece and her husband in NYC this week.  It'll be nice to see them again without other family members being present, and it will be nice for RQS to get to know them better.

- - - - - -

Boxing Day was one of relaxation.  However, we decided to make an unannounced run to Pat's place to take her out to dinner.  As usual, things aren't always as expected when seeing her.  She has latched onto the one available man at the care facility, and made sure to invite him to dine with us.  So RQS and I cleaned out my car to make the back seats available for 2 passengers, then met them at her place.  Pat suggested that we eat at a place that I was unprepared to pay for.  (I could afford pizza and beer for 4 people, but not a white linen tablecloth dinner for 4.)  So I headed to a local pizza parlor (not the place she wanted) and we had a nice dinner for a very affordable price.

After dropping Pat and her friend back at her place, it was time to go home.  As usual, the Tappan Zee was jammed, so we crossed at Bear Mountain.  And then it was time for bed.....

Now, I have an idea of what to give two kids for Xmas

Every year, I've bought something for the two children of my game night hosts.  This year is the same, except that I have much less time to do so due to my upcoming trip to Hawaii.  Yet, I have an idea of what to give them now, and will be ordering their gifts before the holidays.

It's nice to have people to whom I give gifts, to share with.  I had an insurance policy from a fraternal benefit society which wouldn't allow me to designate these two children the secondary beneficiaries of this policy.  So I'll look to leave these kids a little something in my will, and hope that nothing happens to me anytime soon.

- - - - - -

My year-end Hawaii trip keeps coming nearer and nearer.  And I'm looking forward to it.  I have to make sure that I have all the little things needed for this trip, and have been an active customer of Amazon since the day I was irrevocably financially committed to this trip. Since this is a bucket list trip, I will be sure to get lots of photos of the trip and make some sort of travelog for it.

Although I intend to travel with RQS, I have a good feeling that it will be hard for her to keep up with me due to financial reasons. This is a reasonable believe, based on our previous careers.  So, if I'm going to be doing a bit of travel, I will need a profitable line of business to pay for it.  I have some ideas of how I will achieve this, but will avoid talking about it for now.

By the end of the year, I will have taken two bucket list trips, and plan to take more in the next few years.  Having checked off Alaska and Hawaii, I'll have to go much further afield for my next bucket list trip.  I'm hoping that I can check off more than one of my destinations with one trip.  But this takes time and money.  For example, there is a cruise that will spend 6 days in Iceland, plus several more days in the Norwegian Fjords.  One problem: This is one expensive 35 day cruise!  So I will likely need to be more realistic in how I check off items on my bucket list.  I could spend a week in London with my niece, then sail back to New York on the Queen Mary 2.  This is expensive, but a realistic way to do things.

Hopefully, by this time next year, I will be able to check off another item on my bucket list.

 

Taking it easy....

 

Soon, RQS and I will be seeing this sight as we depart from New York on our Autumn cruise.  The big question I will be asking myself is: How much "Alone Time" will I need in this relationship?  I've found that I get tired of having the same people around me after a few days, and this was likely a factor for me in my breakup with XGFJ - I needed time apart from her more often than I told her.

I opened up with this thought, as I started to wonder how well RQS and I will get along on a 10 day cruise.  We will likely be OK, but I have minor worries about it.

- - - - - -

Today was a good day for me, though most of my plans went sour.  My niece and I were able to connect with each other via Zoom, and we were online for an hour chatting about things in general.  Now that I know that she prefers the use of one communications tool, we can schedule Zoom meetings at will and keep in touch.

My niece is glad that she's in England right now, and loves the early Autumn weather they are having.  Soon, winter will come, and she'll be flying back to the States with her husband.  (This assumes that her passport gets renewed before their trip. She has an expired US passport, and will need it renewed for her return.) I told her of my plans to visit sometime in the next couple of years (in Marian's female gender presentation) and she noted that I shouldn't have any problems with it when I visit.  This is a good thing, as I find it more comfortable for me to dress as Marian instead of Mario.

Although I ran my mouth at a mile a minute, we had a good chat.  Hopefully, we'll be doing it again soon.

- - - - - -

I was supposed to speak with my former student clinician for my speech therapy.  She has delivered her baby, and is up to her eyeballs taking care of her infant. So we haven't had much time to chat in a long while.  The same goes to a lesser extent for KM, a woman I used to work with at the document imaging firm.  Although I was supposed to speak with both women, it was just as well that I didn't - I was in the mood to be alone.  In many ways, I was like Greta Garbo in saying: "I want to be alone." 

As you can guess, being with people was the furthest thing from my mind today....

Looking at vacations I want to take.

 

Here's a nautical mileage cruise I'm thinking of taking in the future.  I've been to most of these ports before, and it would be nice to visit the new ports soon with RQS as a travel partner.  

- - - - - -

Now that RQS and I have made a successful trip to Washington, DC, we have started thinking of taking another trip together.  A quick run to New England and Canada's Maritime Provinces is something that came to both our minds.  Unlike my last run into Boston with FCP, who insisted that I keep her son and future daughter in law occupied, RQS likes the idea of going to see "Old Ironsides," and have some clam chowder at Boston's Union Oyster House while in town.

I've never been to Sydney or Charlottetown, so these ports will be new experiences for the two of us. As for Halifax and St. John, we can always find an interesting excursion to go on in these cities.  But in Portland and Boston, there are things we can do without the help of the cruise line's excursions.  So, we have a lot more options than which are presented to us by the cruise line - but we have to be willing to make sure to get back to the ship on time if we exercise those options.

- - - - - -

Since 2022 looks like it is already going to be a busy year, I've already started to look at cruises for 2023 and 2024.  Right now, the cruise at the top of my list is a Panama Canal cruise through the Historic Locks which starts in Los Angeles and ends in Fort Lauderdale.  If we do this cruise (or I do it alone), it will be a great opportunity to get there a day (or two) early and see both my aunt and uncle.  They are in their upper 80's, and I want to see them while they are able to get around on their own.

 

 

The above 25 day cruise is something I also want to take sometime in the future.  Although it is scheduled for July 2023, I can't see myself spending money on another bucket list cruise this soon after the Panama Canal cruise I want to take.  Since I want to visit my niece (living in London) sometime in  2023 or 2024, I figure that this will be a 2025 trip assuming that this cruise is still being offered.

 

One way or another, I expect to be doing at least one bucket list trip per year....

I chatted with a financial advisor, and it wasn't a good fit.

 

People who read my former blog may remember my favorite "Bedspread."  This display of cash is what my former girlfriend won on one of her casino visits.  But why do I show this picture again?  Well, I chatted with a financial advisor, and we weren't on the same track.

- - - - - -

I'm not knocking what this advisor proposed.  My ideas of what I want to do with my money after my demise are not yet firmed up.  Do I want to leave the bulk of my assets to a charitable trust (and associated charity) yet to be set up?  Or, do I want to leave the bulk of my assets to my niece and nephew?

This is not the place to discuss details of my financial situation.  But I will say that I have enough money to retire comfortably - if I'm careful with my money.  In addition to my 401(k) which has to be tapped by the time I'm 72, I am already drawing on a pension, and I hope to inherit some money in the future.  (I don't count on that inheritance, and would be just as happy if what was left to my brother and I were only good memories of my benefactor.)  

But I digress....

I have a idea of setting up a scholarship fund which couldn't be touched for 50-70 years.  In that time, money should double 5-7 times.  If the latter, my original bequest to the fund should be worth 128 times what it is today.  (Let's ignore inflation for a moment.)  The problem - who would want to manage a trust for 50-70 years without tapping into its funds?  How do I provide for the transfer of control, so that trustees have guidance to select who would replace them over the "compounding years" over this trust? With the amount of money this scholarship trust could generate, I could help lift a small island nation out of poverty by providing the skill sets they might need to bring high skill jobs to that nation.

I want to provide for my brother's kids.  My niece is starting to do well.  But my nephew has not yet gotten into the most productive years of his career.  How much money do I want to leave to the "kids?" This is another question that needs to be answered.

Until I've figured this stuff out, I may just have to stand pat and do almost nothing for a while....

A date with my niece

 

As you can see, my niece is fully masked up.  In an age where we finally got an "all clear" for being vaccinated, there are enough A--holes in our society that are putting the rest of us at risk by remaining unvaccinated.  She can't wait for the day that she will no longer need the mask, and that she and her husband can visit this country together.

My niece usually puts her friends first, and tries to squeeze her aunt/uncle in as free time permits.  Today was no different.  So when I received her text telling me that we could meet after work, I jumped at the chance to do so.  However, I would have to go home to change into something comfortable and feminine before seeing her in NYC.  And this delayed my arrival at the Rubin museum, as I arrived there shortly after 7:30 pm.  (The museum is usually open until 10, so even an 8:15 ticket time is quite reasonable.)

While waiting for our tickets to be valid for admission, I mentioned many things regarding what I plan to do with my assets when I pass away.  (Hopefully not for a long time....)  And she knows NOT to let my brother into my place until it has been purged of things I don't want him to know about (yet).  She was surprised when I told her about a conversation I recently had with my ex, and she noted - why should I still bother with her, given the way she treated me last year?  (She is wise beyond her years.) And I noted - in spite of everything, I'd sill like to be friends.  Not the excessive intimacy (non physical) that my former cruise partner and I once had, but someone who I can chat with and occasionally have as an activity partner.  However, I doubt that this will happen, as the ex-girlfriend tends to avoid social events I plan to attend.

My niece and I  walked through the museum, and marveled that there is so much beautiful art in one place.  However, the focus on this category of Asian art (Himalyayas and Tibet) is very different from Chinese and Japanese art.  It seems to focus on the temporary nature of life and the impermanence of things in this world.  Things that Westerners may see as sexual may be seen as a unity of all "forces" of nature to the cultures of these areas.

All too soon, our evening had to end.  We walked back to Penn Station, where she had to rush off to a train.  I picked up some grub there, as I knew that nothing would be open at Grand Central.  And I was right....

- - - - - -

One thing I will comment on in a future post is a transgender person living in her authentic gender tends to live a relatively boring life once she isn't switching gender presentations on a daily basis.  With the exception of putting on a wig, shaving my body hair off, and wearing chest prosthesis, most of my life is that of a typical female.  No, I will never have the natural plumbing of a typical female.  But that's OK.  I am not looking to reproduce.  Yet, it would be interesting if someone called me pretty....

Mid January Odds and Ends

 

 

Sometimes, I don't have much to say about any one topic, but I'm trying to keep my readers up to date on things with a post.  This is one of those posts....

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I've been having problems with my health insurance.  My membership number changed, and the paperwork to fix my problem has been taking longer than expected to be processed.  Today, I reached out to the company once more, and someone placed my issue on a high priority queue.  Hopefully, I'll have the bulk of the matter resolved by Monday, and the only thing left to do will be to connect the membership to a new email account AND to get things set up properly for my mail order medications.

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My brother and I are closing out accounts my dad had before he died.  They don't amount to much money, but they will provide us with much needed money for luxuries.  In my case, this money will help pay for a vacation or two.  In my brother's case, it will pay for a delayed trip to see my niece and her (to be) husband in London.  We had a minor problem with one of these accounts, as it got locked when my dad died. But we expect to have the money in our "grubby" little hands soon.

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I finally have my auto registration in hand.  There is only one more thing I need to do with it: replace the old sticker on my windshield with a new one.  Of course, I'll drive down to see my brother to see if he has the scraping tool needed to get the old sticker off the windshield - it's a perfect excuse to see him before driving over to see FH.

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My friend from my Thursday night gaming group has taken the plunge and is setting up her own online game night starting Wednesday evenings.  I think I'll have another something to look forward to while locked down inside, waiting out the pandemic.

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Next week, I'll be getting together with another of my friends who knows me only as Marian. It'll be nice to see her once again. But with the pandemic raging, this might be the last time I meet anyone other than FH, YGD, Vicki #1 , my brother and his wife for a while.  Of the people in my circle, I'm one of the few that is under 65 AND doesn't have a reason to be an early recipient of the coronavirus vaccine.

 

Thinking about going to a museum.

 

 

The above picture does not do this piece of art justice.  The Dinner Party (by Judy Chicago) is best viewed in person at the Brooklyn Museum.  Like most great works of art, it is best appreciated close up and in-person with appropriate attention being given to the details which are not put into perspective in photographic reproductions.

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I miss going into NYC to meet up with my niece and to go to a museum.  She is now locked down in London, and isn't going anywhere anytime soon.  As soon as things open up for her, she will do the equivalent of going to a "marriage mill" in our country, and get the legal procedure done that will allow her fiancee and her to live as man and wife.  But I digress....

Recently, I talked with a NYC resident, and she told me of the relative desertion of the NYC subway system.  She implied that it is much more comfortable to travel in the subway during the pandemic than it was before the pandemic - enough people have abandoned mass transit to allow many people to maintain appropriate social distancing underground.

Given that my vaccination priority is about to be called soon, I figure that it would be a stupid thing for me to catch the virus by letting down my guard, than if I stayed in my bubble for 2-3 months more.  But who knows?  There is a certain craving that can't be satisfied by staying alone in my room.  And sometimes, I feel it's worth the risk to start living my life again.

Knowing me, I probably won't go into NYC on my own, as I don't want to pay the price to park my car in Manhattan.  Could it be that my general frugality has been a reason I'm still alive? That would be an interesting thought....

Soon, 2020 will be over.

I pass over the Bear Mountain Bridge several times each month. But when I looked at the above photo, I was reminded of how rarely I go to this tower to get a view of the Hudson River "from above".  This picture was taken over a decade ago, before things started to go sour in my life. And it also reminds me that there will be a time after the virus is long past.

Why do I mention this right now?

For most of us, 2020 has been a terrible year.  I lost my dad.  My niece has had to postpone her wedding 3 times, and friends have lost their jobs due to the virus.  And I am one of the "Lucky" ones.  My dad lived a full 92 years, my niece is living with her fiancee (having recovered from Covid-19), and my friends have been able to find work.  Others have had it much, much worse than me, my friends, and my family.

Things are starting to look up for us.  Initial deliveries of the Coronavirus vaccines are being scheduled, planning for mass inoculations is taking place, and the economy is recovering.  If we're lucky, by this time next year, 2020 will be a bad, but persistent memory.

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2020 was remarkable in many ways for me. It was the first year in a long while where I didn't have a girlfriend to curl up with in private. Yet, it allowed me to go to work as Marian for the better part of 10 months. During the year, I met new people, and was able to develop at least 1 new friendship.  No, this friendship may not be as deep as the ones I lost last year.  But it is a start for me.

Having worked at the census for the better part of 10 months as Marian, I feel confident that I will be able to find work again as Marian.  This may turn off some people.  But I don't care much about them. Unless I'm living with a woman who needs to see Mario most of the time, I'd like to be living as much of my life as Marian as possible.

2021, I hope, will be a year which I finally get my weight under control.  My goal is to be wearing size 18 clothes within the next 2 years.  Yes, I'll have to replace both of my wardrobes, but it will be worth it if I'm successful.  Additionally, I'd like to be in a new serious relationship by the end of next year. (I miss the touch of someone next to me in bed.) Hopefully, I'll finally be able to take a Hawaiian cruise, preferably as Marian.

 

.

It looks like things are sorting themselves out

For the most part, time is passing and things are happening slowly.  Until the pandemic ends, I'm trusting that the slow march of time will help things change for the better.

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Recently, I mentioned 3 women I've dated: FH, MB, and FL.  It looks like things are slowly sorting themselves out.  I'd have liked MB to have been one of the last two to choose from.  But she has her issues, and I think she wants someone more physically active than me.  FH is a good person, but I'm finding that we may not have enough in common to keep up a lasting relationship.  Couple this with her location and other things I won't talk about now, and she might have to be dropped from my list.  And then there is FL.  Unlike my previous relationship, she did her research up front.  So, she's the one that may be at the top of my list.  

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One of the problems I've had recently is that I have no idea of when my work at the census will end. Well, I'm now sure that this part of my life will end towards the end of the month, and I'll be both sad and happy to see it go.  Sadness will be present, as I'll miss seeing familiar faces on a daily basis.  Happiness will also be there, as I've been paid to take up space as recruitment wound down.  As you'd expect, they had no way or desire to move me to an area where I'd have work to do while the place winds down.  So I spent much of my time surfing the web and reading books.

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As I've mentioned before, my niece is waiting for a resident visa to be issued, so that she could move to Britain and be with her fiancee.  The other day, I read that the USA and UK are working on a transit bridge between New York (and its low COVID infection rate) and London (to help with post-Brexit trade).  My niece may be one of the beneficiaries of this development if it comes off.

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Going out en-femme has become such a normal part of my life that I don't write much about it anymore.  Yet, there are still things I can say about it.  For example, I sent off a copy of my resume to a woman whose husband runs a business in lower county.  If she likes what she sees, it might be an opening to work another job en-femme.  This time, I'll make sure that only the owner (and his HR designee) knows of my legal identity.  This might be a great segue for me when the census job ends.

Miscellaneous items of note for August 2020

When I started blogging, I used to have a girlfriend.  Since I broke up with the most recent ex, it has been the longest period I spent without a "significant other" since my late wife passed away.  With the loss of two people I counted on in my life, I found that I was lucky to be able to date as a male - as bad as my cravings were to find someone new, it is much harder for the average female.  

Now that the pandemic has eased off for a while in the NYC Suburbs, I've been able to date several women, with three of them being on my short list.  Of those three, I have a strong feeling which one I'll end up with - and I'm hoping that this time, I don't make the same mistakes I made in my last relationship.

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As I've mentioned here, I've been working at the census since January.  Soon, this job will end, and I'll be looking for another job to tide me over to final retirement.  I'm not sure if I'll be able to find it working as Marian or as Mario.  But I'd like to be able to keep working as Marian, even though I'll have to spend more time and money maintaining my feminine appearance.  

Recently, I stumbled into someone who believes me to be female, and suggested that I apply for work at the firm her husband runs.  If I were to get hired, he'd have to know that I am transgender, and would also have to keep this a secret from the other staff.  (I don't mind people knowing about me.  I just want to control how the message is delivered.)  Yet, it would be very interesting to find work in private industry as a non-op transgender woman.

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If all goes right, my niece will soon have her visa and will be able to fly to Great Britain to start her life with her fiancee.  Both she and my brother will need to spend 14 days in quarantine before the wedding.  And I expect that this will be one of the happiest days of her life.  Too bad that this part of her life will start in a way furthest from her dreams.

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The other day, I received a message from one woman on a dating site.  (She responded to my ad, with me in feminine presentation.)  She said I was a hell of a person based on my profile, and wanted to meet me as a friend.  (She had just started dating someone new.)  I figure that I will meet her and develop a friendship.  If I stay in the friendship zone (as I expect), I'd ask her to just introduce me as Marian to her beau, and not mention my biological gender.

 

 

Sometimes, I'm stuck in the "wrong" presentation

Last night, my brother returned from England, and didn't text me to let me know he got in. He and his two adult children were doing a little sightseeing while visiting my niece's future in-laws.  I'm jealous of them.  But I'll eventually have the chance to visit my niece and her future husband in their new home.  So I have something to look forward to.  Until then, I'm just an afterthought for my brother and his family.  But more on that later....


Today is my dad's birthday.  That means I will need to be in my male presentation when I go to Long Island.  Because of this scheduling requirement, I was sure to schedule my annual physical for the same day, so that I wouldn't need to change from Marian to Mario. And this meant that I had to be ready to start my day early, then not know exactly when I'd be expected to be at my brother's place.

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The first thing I had to do was to go to the doctor.  And I arrived at his office at the same time as the doctor.  Since this was my yearly physical, he had a few more questions to ask of me, and suggested that I get my eyes checked and to schedule a colonoscopy.  Even though it is less than an hour after I left the office as I write this, I already forgot what I should be asking for with my eyes.  (I can ask the doc about that again when I see him in a month.)  But I'll have to see if the doc who performed my last colonoscopy is covered under my insurance and whether his assistant staff is also covered.  Otherwise, I will need to ask my internist for other recommendations of people who may be on my insurance plan.

When I got out of the doc's office, I got a call back after picking up breakfast - they forgot to ask for a urine sample.  So back to the office I went for 5 minutes, and then onto the house to rest.  Looking at the phone, my brother finally acknowledged my messages, telling me that he is back from England.  Unfortunately, he hadn't yet figured out what he plans to with my dad for his birthday.  So it meant that I would have to be ready for anything.  And I found out that my brother was going in to work today, then do something tomorrow.  As for me, I decided to drive to Long Island to see my dad in the daytime.

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It took me over 2 hours to reach my dad.  Traffic was much worse than usual, and I hit all the traffic jams that I could have expected and more.  But I made it there a little bit before my brother, and by 6 pm, we were on our way to the Japanese buffet to enjoy dinner.  Luckily, my sister in law did not join us, as she had a "meeting" to go to tonight. So the 4 of us felt free to each have a beer and to relax over a leisurely dinner.

Towards the end of the evening, my brother started showing photos of the family trip to England, and I started getting bored.  Yet, I didn't want the evening to end.  There are not that many family gatherings left in my dad's life, and I want to be there for as many as possible.

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Around 8:30-9:00 or so, we brought my dad back to the nursing home, and I started my drive back to my apartment. Shortly before I got home, GFJ returned my call and we chatted for a few minutes.  It appears that she will also be busy during the holiday season, so this will be the second straight holiday with us not being together.  Although I will make New Year's Eve open for her if she wants to be together, I have plans in mind if she were to make it a third holiday of being apart.  At that point, unless I am misinterpreting things, she will have sent a signal without saying anything definite....   Such is life.