The handymen have arrived!

 

As I write this, the work on fixing my wall has started.  The sheet rock panel behind these tiles have been removed, and the studs and the sheet rock of the apartment adjacent to mine is now visible.  The work my brother did about 15 years ago finally failed, and the handyman gave me a simple explanation as to why it happened - we didn't mount the replacement sheet rock correctly.

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My brother has gone from having several dead-end jobs in his youth to being a lead financial comptroller in a multi $100mm corporation.  While raising a family, he bought a house needing a lot of TLC, and learned how to take care of all of its repairs himself - he couldn't afford any help to do most of the needed work.  Now, he's able to spend some coin to do the kind of repairs to his place that is not worth his effort to do himself.

Why do I mention this?

I give my brother a lot of credit for improving his life under a great amount of stress.  Now, he plays catch-up with his life, and I hope he's happy with the trade-offs he has had to make to get by.  I did not have to make the same trade-offs, as I was widowed almost 30 years ago, never had children, and didn't need to buy a house to "keep up with the Jones's."  Yet, at this stage of life, I wouldn't mind having some of what he has.  And he wouldn't mind having some of what I have.

It was a good thing that my dad got to see both my brother and I develop the skills to live life on our own without parental assistance.  A wise friend once said that a parent's job is to raise children so that the parent is no longer needed, but will always be wanted and always loved.  That's one thing my dad did well.

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One thing I learned from my dad is that some jobs simply need to be done, and others needed to be done well.  In the case of the bathroom tile wall, this time the job needed to be done well.  So I hired it out to a professional.  I could have done a crappy job myself, then need to do a bigger repair in a few years.  Instead, I spent some coin (which I am lucky to have) to do it right and to forget about it.  I hope my dad would be happy with how I make my decisions now, as I still think of what he might do had he been in my position in life.

Dinner with Vicki

 

Tomorrow, the handyman will come to repair the tile wall in the bathroom.  I dread this necessary headache, as it will soon be followed by electrical work that requires virtually all my furniture be moved for outlet replacement.  ARRGH!

With this looming ahead of me, I was glad to meet Vicki for dinner before she goes on her vacation.  Vicki is trying to get her health in order, so that she can have a needed medical procedure.  (And no, I won't go into any more details here.)  So, I know that getting together with me is a special occasion for her.  Over dinner, we talked about many things, and she made a comment that echoes with other people I know - they see me as the same person, no matter which gender I am presenting as at the moment.

I think that a key to understanding a transgender person is seeing that his/her soul is the same person, no matter how the person chooses to appear to the world.  Yes, there will be women who get upset at the M2F transgender person for invading "women's space". And I can understand that.  Many M2F transgender people want to carry their former male privilege into their female lives, and this can not be done and be accepted by females as equals.  Yet, I feel that the cisgender world should "get over it."  To me, being transgender is a form of intersex condition, where the brain is wired to be of one gender, but the body is programmed in utero to be the other.

The transwoman I mentioned in an earlier post has reverted to life as a cisgender, heterosexual man. And he seems to have found a new potential woman in his life.  I wish the best for them, as life for a person my age can be a struggle without the issues of being trans to complicate things.  At least, he'll be able to live a less complex life - for now.  As for me, I'll deal with my complexities as long as possible, as I have no intentions of eradicating what I've gained by being Marian from my life.