The high point of my day was at lunch

 

It's hard to believe that it has been 4 years since I've worked at the census, and 4 years since I felt comfortable with being 'out' as a transgender person.  Today, I met with one of my friends from the census and had a nice lunch.

My friend (let's call her CSC) and I have been trying to meet on a monthly basis since our work on the census ended.  And we've been able to keep up to date on happenings in our lives since then.  She's shared information on family events, her travels, and on things in general - and I've done the same.  The one thing I'll share about our conversation is how her dietary restrictions have affected her when dining out....

CSC comes from a Jewish family.  As a result, she lived in a kosher household and has never eaten pork or shellfish.  That is not an issue for her.  She is allergic to peanuts, peas, and bananas.  She is also a vegetarian who once ate meat in the past.  So, she finds herself having to talk about dietary issues every time she goes out to eat.  Even when she does so, things can go a little wrong as it did today; A pea was found in the yellow rice served to her, and she had to send it back for some white rice.  (A minor issue, Yes.  But she could have suffered a severe allergic reaction.)  She told me about visits to restaurants which had no vegetarian options on the menu, where the chef concocted some very tasty dishes just for her.  And she told me about restaurants that said they couldn't accommodate her - then they did.  Nowadays,  it's much easier for her, as most restaurants are willing to have both vegan and gluten free foods on the menu, as well as knowing how to keep "special requirements" food prepared separately from "regular" food.

All too soon, it was time to go.  So we made plans for the following month and went on our way.

- - - - - -

Once home, I had to switch back to Mario mode.  I had a handyman coming over to see about replacing the exhaust fan/ceiling light in the bathroom.  This will be a slightly more expensive project than I planned, as he suggested that he repaint the ceiling after he finishes installing the fixture.  (The ceiling paint has started to flake off in one area, and I've deferred doing this work.)  So, I handed him a deposit, and he will buy all the supplies needed for the job - and he will get back to me to schedule the work.

- - - - - -

Now that my 15 minutes as Mario was over with, it was time to switch back into Marian mode for a zoom call with my friends from Texas and RQS.  I'll bet that they noticed that I was exhausted, but I was able to stay awake during our meeting.  (Again, I didn't get enough good sleep the night before.)  Hopefully, we will all be able to get together again in 2025.  But that's another story.  Shortly afterwards was my nightly call with RQS to end my day.

Dinner with Vicki

 

Tomorrow, the handyman will come to repair the tile wall in the bathroom.  I dread this necessary headache, as it will soon be followed by electrical work that requires virtually all my furniture be moved for outlet replacement.  ARRGH!

With this looming ahead of me, I was glad to meet Vicki for dinner before she goes on her vacation.  Vicki is trying to get her health in order, so that she can have a needed medical procedure.  (And no, I won't go into any more details here.)  So, I know that getting together with me is a special occasion for her.  Over dinner, we talked about many things, and she made a comment that echoes with other people I know - they see me as the same person, no matter which gender I am presenting as at the moment.

I think that a key to understanding a transgender person is seeing that his/her soul is the same person, no matter how the person chooses to appear to the world.  Yes, there will be women who get upset at the M2F transgender person for invading "women's space". And I can understand that.  Many M2F transgender people want to carry their former male privilege into their female lives, and this can not be done and be accepted by females as equals.  Yet, I feel that the cisgender world should "get over it."  To me, being transgender is a form of intersex condition, where the brain is wired to be of one gender, but the body is programmed in utero to be the other.

The transwoman I mentioned in an earlier post has reverted to life as a cisgender, heterosexual man. And he seems to have found a new potential woman in his life.  I wish the best for them, as life for a person my age can be a struggle without the issues of being trans to complicate things.  At least, he'll be able to live a less complex life - for now.  As for me, I'll deal with my complexities as long as possible, as I have no intentions of eradicating what I've gained by being Marian from my life.

I didn't really want to go to game night, but I made myself do so.

 

My mind has been on overload lately.  First, it was the tile wall in the bathroom failing. Next, it was scheduling repair work on the wall to begin over the weekend.  And then, it was being told that the electricians will start their work replacing electrical outlets next week.  So, in addition to my regularly scheduled social appointments both as Marian and as Mario, I have to appear as Mario when the handyman is here on the weekend, and when the electrician is working in my apartment.  AARGH!!!  (At least, I can get in some Marian time when I go to my dentist.)

- - - - - -

Since I wanted to leave tomorrow open for last minute tasks, I spent today working slowly on cutting down on the clutter in the apartment, and then doing some laundry.  By the time I was done, I was not really in the mood to go to play games.  But, given that it'd be another 4 weeks before I'd get the chance to be with this group again, I forced myself to get showered and dressed, then out the door as Marian.

As usual, I got to Yonkers a bit late and missed the first game.  Then I got involved in the second game of the night, and did tolerably well until the very end of the game.  Yet, I had fun.  Sadly, there was some bad news.  The host/hostess' new dog (a 5 y/o rescue) bit one of the guests and had to be kept away from the group.  I'll bet that this dog may have been abused once and has yet to unlearn coping behavior, as none of the rescue dogs my dad adopted (including one that was abused) ever drew blood after living with my dad.  (Yes, this may be flawed reasoning, but it reflects my feelings on the matter.)

I would have liked to have participated in more conversation and less game playing tonight.  But I can't always get what I want.  At least, RQS and I had a nice chat on my way home, and we set our game plan for the weekend....

Taking care of business (part 2)

Today, I had two things on the docket.  One would cost me some chump change, and the other some coin.  Either way, I had to present myself as Mario to the world.  It was just as well, as it looked like we'd have some scattered thunderstorms today.

- - - - - -

I got up at 8:00 am, so that I could make it to Mavis Tires for the New York's mandated yearly safety/emissions inspection for my car.  Reaching Mavis by 10:00 am, I was out of the shop an hour later, and proceeded home to nap, work on cleaning up some mess in the apartment, and to meet the handyman who'll do work on the tiled wall next to my bathtub.

Since I've been sleep deprived for the past few evenings, I took my nap first - and awakened by 3:30 pm.  I got dressed, and started to clean up my place when the handyman arrived.  As expected, he will need to tear out some sheet rock and replace it as part of his efforts.  So I gave him a 25% deposit for materials, and will pay him the rest when he returns over the weekend.  

Tomorrow, it'll be off to the tile store to see if I can get a box of tile similar to that on my 65+ year old bathroom wall....

- - - - - -

This weekend will likely be a "Cluster F" of scheduling headaches, as both RQS and I will need to be up much earlier than usual and stay in the apartment while work is done here.  I am not looking forward to this, but I have no choice, as the work needs to be done no matter what.  I am tempted to ask her if I could come down after work is complete (or, have her come here), so that she isn't as disturbed as she will be when the workers are taking up space in the bathroom.

Assuming that the work is done in one day (which I doubt), we will have Sunday free to do things for ourselves. But what might we do?  At least, I have several days to think about this, as tomorrow, I will have to go to a couple of tile stores to see if they have tile that matches the scheme of the remaining tile on my walls.

Taking care of business (part 1)

 

I had several things I had to do today: See a friend for lunch, arrange for a handyman to come and repair the tile in my bathroom, postpone dinner with Vicki, get my earlobe piercings looked at, and confirm my car's appointment for the annual state safety/emissions inspection.  And I was amazed that I got everything done.

But first....

My alarms were set to wake me up at 7:00 am, so that I could attempt to get free tickets for the 9/11 museum in Lower Manhattan.  It was worth it for me to try to wake up early to get these tickets, but I was doing it with only 3 hours of sleep.  So I'd likely be tired most of the day until I've had a chance to nap.  Still, I didn't get to the site using the correct link, so refreshing the link at 7:00 am still resulted in failure as I was never presented with the option of getting free tickets.  AARGH!  Yet, failing to get 9/11 tickets would be a blessing, as I would be able to take a much needed nap later in the day.

Now that I was awake, I started to work on a blog entry.  Working on developing a travel blog that will develop into videos is work, as I have to be thinking of scripts I can use to make 10-15 minutes of useful content on a regularly scheduled basis.  (It'll need more meat and less filler than in this daily blog.)  So I worked on something based on my most recent trip.  Even though I'm not happy with this entry, it's good exercise for me.

About 11:00 am, I started getting ready to see my friend MAR for lunch.  I hated to get showered, as I don't like risking getting the failed section of the tiled wall wet.  (It's covered with both duct tape and a tarp now, but there is still a risk until a handyman fixes it.)  After showering and getting made up for the day, I put on a dress I bought several years ago, and went out for lunch.  We chatted for a couple of hours, talking about many things.  I'm glad that she is taking my advice, and trying to develop skills that will get her out of the job she is doing and into something better. She'll never be a rocket scientist, but she's capable of doing something that will make it possible to afford to live on her own.

Next, I had to make an appointment with a handyman.  My downstairs neighbor (who I haven't seen in weeks) had given me the name of a person who worked in his apartment for a contractor that the co-op used to fix damage from a plumbing problem originating from my apartment.  So, I called him, and we made an appointment for this Saturday (although he'd want to stop by after work today - something I couldn't do while out as Marian. Instead, I have him coming by tomorrow, while I'm out as Mario.)  Hopefully, this fix will both be done the right way and won't cost me too much money.  

Now that this was taken care of, I drove to the tattoo/piercing shop to have the piercing specialist look at my ears.  I was having trouble with one ear because there was a little gunk blocking the hole.  The other ear's problem was caused by the hole starting to close - and she took care of that.  However, she couldn't widen the hole without using studs that I'd never be able to take off and put back on easily.  So I went with replacing the studs I used to wear.

And then, it was home for a nap after a quick trip to the supermarket.  I'll have a lot to take care of tomorrow, but I'll deal with it then....

A minor disaster before lunch with a friend.

 

About 15 years ago, Ex-GF-M broke the soap dish on the wall on the side of her bathtub.  Today, the same happened to me, as a result of a failure of the adhesive used when this building was erected.  Yes, there is always more to it than a simple answer.  But I was lucky to have the materials around to rig up a temporary cover that should keep this section of wall dry until I can get a handyman to fix it.

My big question is: Why did this section of tile fall off?  No, I am not looking for the simple answer.  I'm looking for the root cause of failure.  Was there a tiny leak that I couldn't see that cause damage to the drywall?  Who knows?  But fixing this will cost me a little bit of money to fix, money that I don't want to spent at this time.

After covering this area with duct tape, and over that, a construction bag to provide two layers of protection, I felt comfortable that I've bought a week or two to find a handyman and then get this job done.  Now, to find that handyman....

- - - - - -

Once I was done in the bathroom, I proceeded to put on my makeup, get dressed, and out the door to see a former coworker for lunch.  My fiend wanted to eat outside, and I chose the Birdsall House in Peekskill.  I remembered that they made a great bowl of chili, so I figured that this would be a nice change of pace for the two of us.

I arrived at the Gastropub shortly before my friend, and sat down at a shady table outdoors.  We ordered our meals, and then started to catch up on things.  We discussed my travels, and her travails.  Let's just say that a problem that she's been dealing with had an unexpected development in her family life that threw her for a loop. While we chatted, a couple of wasps (the flying insect kind, not the type who qualifies for legacy admissions) bothered us enough to take our plates to an inside table where we finished our meal in peace.

All too soon, we had to go.  And for me, it was time to go home and take a nap....