I accidentally told two friends about me - and I was accepted for who and what I am - a short post

 

A while back, I accidentally posted a link to this blog on the wrong Facebook page, and two of my friends who only knew me as Marian found out about Mario.  I was very surprised, but told my friends the truth about me, and that I was glad that I could finally show my authentic self without filtering.

Now I understand how Fran felt when someone finally caught her switching back and forth between male and female modes.  And I'm glad I made it through this with friendships intact.  Yes, I see changes.  But these will be healthy ones, as we can be much more open with each other than before.....

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Regarding Fran....

RQS has been looking for a new accountant to do her taxes.  Knowing that Fran could use some business, I suggested to RQS that she should reach out to Fran.  (Why not send business along to another TG person?  I'll likely switch to using Fran when my accountant retires.)  So later this evening, I'll find Fran's contact information and give it to RQS....

Another Mystery Purchase from Universal Standard

 

Every year or so, Universal Standard holds a "Mystery Box" sale.  Over the years, I've purchased several bodysuits (think unitards for exercising), dresses, and "Mystery Boxes".  Buying these mystery boxes is a gamble.  I've often ended up spending $100 for items worth $300, but getting a single item worth $100 that I will put into my everyday wardrobe.  Tonight, I bought a single item mystery box, figuring that I could risk spending $60 to get a dress worth $100.

For example,I got the below wrap dress (and a similar dress in a different color) in a mystery box I purchased during the middle of Covid.  There was no way I could wear such a nice dress out, when virtually every place I could go in this dress was closed for the pandemic.

Yet, there was a sweatshirt dress I got in this shipment that I wore much more often, as it was casual enough (and warm enough) to go out in colder weather when restaurants were open at 50% of capacity. The only thing I didn't keep from this shipment was a bandeau top - something that would be useless for someone without natural breasts on her body.

Do I have a clue about I will receive?  Other than the garment being a dress in my size, they aren't saying anything. But with all the expenses I've been incurring lately, I figure that I could risk $60 to get a good deal on a quality product.

 

ps: From what I've read elsewhere, Universal Standard may open a single store in NYC to show its goods.  Hopefully, this will be true and the store will open soon, as I enjoyed examining their clothes in person.

Catching up on chores

 

It wasn't the nicest of days today. So I opted for a day indoors, and decided to take care of 4 loads of laundry waiting to be done.  Given that it was cold and wet, I saw no point in getting dressed and going out as Marian today.  Instead, I figured that I would take care of things around the apartment and catch up on chores that needed to be taken care of.

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Unlike some TG people, I keep my male and female wardrobes separate and rarely share anything between the wardrobes excepting socks.  So this forces me to take an extra step when I do laundry.  Before washing clothes, I separate whites from colors.  After drying clothes, I separate male from female clothes and store them accordingly.

Why do I mention this?

Recently, I met an acquaintance who blends items from both male and female sides of the closet. It's hard enough for me to keep things straight when switching between gender presentations without having to worry if a garment pairing appears too masculine or feminine.  In some areas of this country, people have been beaten up for much less than an androgynous gender presentation.  So, seeing this friend reminded me of why I do not blend my gender presentations, and why I work to make my feminine presentation as authentic as possible - as if I were a cisgender woman wearing the same clothes.

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I try to make my feminine presentation as accurate as possible, so that I will be mistaken for a cisgender female 99% of the time.  This would make it possible for me to visit my friends in Texas - if I were willing to take the chance to do so.  Right now, whenever I go on a cruise as Marian, I think that the cruise line's facial recognition technology spits out an error code when it scans my photo, triggering a new picture of me to be taken when I arrive at the cruise terminal.  It's too bad that I don't have feminine fat distribution.  I would love to have a zaftig woman's T&A - if only so that I can wear a woman's skirted bathing suit or garments that expose my cleavage, without my biological gender being revealed. 

There are many things that make it possible to blend in as a woman.  First comes confidence.  Next comes the quality of presentation. And finally, one needs to be comfortable in her own skin.  With the exception of having a large body, I think I do well enough to avoid having major problems. (At least, I hope so.)  With that being said, I'd like to have legal ID that corresponds to an ambiguous gender presentation (including name), save for my gender marker.  That would be good enough for 99% of the times I need to present an ID card in public.

One can dream....

Spending another weekend in Queens

 

Over the past year, I have been in the above subway station many times.  Either I have taken a bus to reach this station, or I have made subway transfers there.  RQS's house is nearby.  And when I reach this station on the way to her house, I know that it is a short time before we are together for the weekend.  This week was slightly different, as I approached this station by car on the way to drop RQS off at her house.

But first....

Last weekend, I left my big suitcase at RQS's place after returning from our trip to DC.  The only things I took home with me were a knapsack with some books in it, and my CPAP machine.  Everything else could wait until this weekend.

On Friday, I drove to RQS's place and was able to find a parking spot within a block and a half from her place.  And this is where the car would stay until Monday.  We figured that we could make a supermarket run before I left for home, and RQS (with her groceries) would be dropped off at her place on my way back home.

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Saturday came, and we didn't have a good idea of what to do.  So I suggested that we take the subway into Manhattan and get a sandwich at Katz's Delicatessen.  Although it was cold, it was the best thing we could think of.  By the time we got there, we realized that we made a mistake - there was a block long line of people waiting to get into Katz's.  There was no way we were going to wait out in the cold for an hour.  So we walked into the East Village and looked for some of the Indian restaurants we remembered being there.  Sadly, "Little India" had left The Village, and we had to look for something else to eat.  Luckily we found an excellent Chinese restaurant, Chef Tan, which serves both authentic Chinese dishes and American "Chinese" dishes.  Although we were "warned" against it, we decided to order the Dongting Special Shrimp.  This was our only disappointment, as we didn't like the crunchiness of the tiny shrimp, nor did we like the heat of the dish.  However, the Iron Plate with Mongolian Beef more than made up for the first dish.  After dinner, we wanted something sweet for dessert, and Tipsy Scoop was only a bus ride away.  So, it was off to our favorite ice cream shop to pick up a couple of pints of boozy ice cream.  

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Sunday was a slow motion day, and RQS decided that it was time to donate some of her goods to an informal charity exchange a few blocks from her house.  Around mid-afternoon, we wheeled a couple of shopping carts to the exchange place, and left goods there for the needy to take without question. (I will not mention more about this place, as the needy people don't need to be gawked at by others.) From this place, we walked to a nearby pizza joint for a bite to eat before going home for the evening.

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Monday was the day my car had to move because of alternate side of the street parking rules.  We figured that I'd load my luggage into the trunk, and RQS would load her groceries into my back seat. First, we had to make it to Wegman's in Brooklyn. Normally, this would be a 30 minute trip through Brooklyn streets.  However, several traffic snarl-ups caused us to take a convoluted path to Wegman's that Google Maps wouldn't suggest - and we got there in less than an hour.  $100 later, RQS was ready to leave, and it only took us 30 minutes to get back to her place.

It was a long, but enjoyable weekend.  But I'll be glad to get back into my dresses again....

Can I squeeze in another cruise this year without breaking the budget?

 

 

This past December, I took a bucket list cruise to Hawaii.  I really want to take this cruise again if I can find both the money and the time.  Thinking about this, I wondered, how much cruising can I get into a year of vacations?  And if I find cruises that are worth the money, how do I find the money to afford these cruises without breaking open my nest egg?

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RQS and I just got back from a 5 day trip to Washington, DC, and we have 2 more cruises scheduled for later in the year.  I would like to squeeze in at least 1 or 2 more cruises without breaking the bank, or getting RQS too upset at me.  So, how should I do it?

To answer this question, I am thinking of ways that I can make money off of my travels.  Given that I often travel as Marian, many LGBT cruisers might want access to my knowledge.  Given that I have enough knowledge to counsel the average surface traveler, that might be another area worth exploring. Yet, I can see people traveling vicariously reading about my travels.  But this can only be part of an answer.  I must find ways to travel on the cheap.

Traveling cheaply isn't as hard as it seems.  For example, I spent $62 for a round trip Amtrak ticket between New York and Washington, DC.  If I weren't traveling with RQS, I might have stayed at a cheaper hotel and eaten as more downscale restaurants.  I might have even done what many people do, and picked up reheatable food at a local supermarket and eaten it in my hotel room when the weather isn't so great.  But one can only go so far in being frugal.  Taking a vacation should be a little bit of a splurge, a chance to treat one's self to things not available at home.

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Sometime in the summer, or near year's end, I would like to take another cruise - this time in Marian mode.  To do this, I will want RQS's blessing, as I don't want to risk doing damage to our relationship.  Yet, there is a way that she'd be more than happy for me to take these cruises.  If this becomes a reality, I will say more here....

Trying to keep on top of things - a short post

 

 

As my long time readers are aware, I am on my co-op's board of directors.  And the thing I hate doing most is paperwork - especially the type that I need to take notes for, or to record financial information.  So what happened to me?  I am now the official note taker for our monthly meetings, and have to deal with monthly minutes.  What bothers me more is that my brother is asking me to take care of all the paperwork for the family homestead, something I know I'll screw up no matter how easy he tries to make it for me.

It's hard for me to deal with paperwork, as I will gloss over things that should have been recorded and that I will misfile things in logical places.  And now, I'm trying to keep on top of things for which my actions could affect others.  AARGH!

Soon it will be time to take care of my taxes.  Hopefully, I will have overpaid enough during the period that I worked last year, so that what I underpaid from my pension will not cause me any negative tax consequences.  Next year, I can fix this issue by over withholding taxes from my social security payments.  Until then, I have to stay on top of things, so that I have enough money in the right places to pay my taxes.... 

Friends and acquaintances are slowly coming out of the woodwork - a short post.

 

Every so often, I try to reach out to people I haven't heard from in a while.  Today, 3 people reached out to me to say what's up in their lives.

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Several years ago, I met a woman from Ontario who has become a pen pal.  There was no way we could have a romantic relationship, but we enjoyed each other's company on the cruise.  I was pleasantly surprised when she wrote me at the end of her most recent cruise.  Sadly, like me, she has noticed the quality of NCL amenities going down while the cruise price is going up.  In response, I mentioned that we're taking our next cruise on Princess, and may switch to cruising with them for a while if they sail the routes we want to take.

Next, I received a call from FL.  She has moved out of her place on the Jersey shore, and has moved inland.  Her faith is very important to her, and she has found a church that is growing.  More importantly, she is now seeing someone - and I'm very glad for her.

Finally, Patty (my ex-girlfriend from years ago) stepped out of the woodwork for a little bit.  Sadly, things have been going wrong for her, and she's dealing with quite a few inconveniences.  Hopefully, things will get better for her soon.

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I mentioned a select group of people, as I'm not a person with whom most people think of to keep in contact.  So it was nice to hear from these people - just to break the routine....