The longer I'm out and about, the less I write about being TG

 

When I started blogging, I used to talk about how I worried about whether people would clock me as being TG.  I discussed things such as voice training, meeting people as Marian, and other things that would set me apart from cisgender women.  Over the years, I have gained much more confidence in who I am and where I can safely go.  But people like me are under attack from the Orange Snowflake.  Most of us don't flaunt what we are.  We simply want to go about our lives without being treated less than human from certain social groups such as religious fundamentalists. 

This entry is not about being TG as much as it is about life in general.  For the most part, the vast majority of people lead humdrum lives.  Even if one has become famous, such as being a movie star, a sports player, and a politician, most of our lives consist of relatively boring activities such as shopping, doing the laundry, cleaning our houses, etc.. So, what should anyone write about?  I'm not one who makes a big deal about what I'm wearing these days, save that I want to hide my less than feminine features.  Going into the ladies' room is no longer a big deal when I'm presenting as Marian - I just go into the stall, get my clothes out of the way, sit down and relieve myself.  Most people don't bat a eyelash, especially since most fat people tend to be "invisible" to others.

For a little over a week, I've been wearing red nail polish.  As a consequence, I've been presenting as a female. The only reason I removed my nail polish today was that it was starting to chip away.  I figure that I'll go get my nails done when RQS goes home, as I don't want to spend the time to redo my nails while she's here.  

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Today has become a sort of "maintenance day".  RQS decided to reorganize my kitchen cabinets, while I decided to pay some bills and to prepare to do laundry.  Since the light over the kitchen counter got damaged, we will end up going to Lowe's to pick up a replacement later on.  While we were sitting down, we booked a couple of shore excursions for our upcoming cruise.  Now, we have 3 out of 5 shore days where we have things to see when in port.

Cruising has become our preferred mode of taking a vacation, as it gives us the most bang per buck. We keep looking at cruises we can take.  I'm hoping that the snowflake is removed from office so that sanity can rule in the US again.  Then, and only then, will I consider the cruise I want to take - a transatlantic crossing on the Queen Mary 2, where I can return to the States as Marian.

Until then, I'll just have to keep living my humdrum life....

I started writing this entry and didn't know what to say at first

 

After I got home from my most recent cruise, I had to say something about the current state of domestic politics. When I saw what was going on with the Orange Snowflake, I was again reminded of a Don Imus album title: "This Honky's nuts!"  Today, I could easily say it about our president.  At the recent Charlie Kirk memorial service, his widow said to forgive her husband's killer.  However, the Snowflake has a grudge against anyone who opposed him in any way, no matter how slight an opposition.  He can't handle the concept of people not loving him.

When I think of the Snowflake and his personal flaws, I think of an old cartoon from the WW2 era: "Der Fuhrer's Face." The song, originally performed by Spike Jones and his City Slickers, is a satirical take on the Hitler's personality cult and his henchmen.  Considering that the Snowflake is following the Nazi guidebook from the 1930's, I feel that this tune could easily be reworked to make fun of the Snowflake and the people who once supported him

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But enough about the Snowflake.  Today, I started the process of cleaning out the mess from behind my loveseat (I've been using the area for storage), so that I can take care of the following:

1. Selling/Giving away a pachinko machine and an awkwardly shaped storage chest.
2. Storing summer clothing in storage containers, placing them behind the loveseat.
3. Moving a steel filing cabinet away from my computer desk to shift 2 bedroom chests/dressers.
4. Calling A/C repair to remove/fix/reinstall an air conditioner with a bad master control unit.

This is not a one day project.  I have to move some storage containers from the bedroom into the newly vacated space behind my loveseat. (Winter stuff comes out from the bedroom, and summer stuff will be placed first in the living room.)  My desktop computer then moves off the filing cabinet, so that I can move it to a new location.  Following that, I can shift the two chests/dressers, making room near the A/C so that the A/C repair men can do their thing.

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I was still feeling slightly under the weather when I got up, so I didn't go to church as I originally planned.  Taking my time to get moving, I started taking inventory of what I needed to do to start organizing things.  And the first thing that came to mind was packing up my summer stuff.  I have way too many summer dresses, so I started culling a few to be put in donation bags. 

Next was the "fun" part - exploring the boxes/containers behind the loveseat, and tossing out unwanted stuff.  In my case, I decided to throw away a 14 y/o computer that ran Windows 7.  It wasn't worth much anymore, so I decided to trash it.  (I still have another old laptop that I have to trash.  But until then, it takes up space in my bedroom.)

The process of moving things around has only begin.  Keep your fingers crossed that I keep up the momentum....

Catching up on chores

 

It wasn't the nicest of days today. So I opted for a day indoors, and decided to take care of 4 loads of laundry waiting to be done.  Given that it was cold and wet, I saw no point in getting dressed and going out as Marian today.  Instead, I figured that I would take care of things around the apartment and catch up on chores that needed to be taken care of.

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Unlike some TG people, I keep my male and female wardrobes separate and rarely share anything between the wardrobes excepting socks.  So this forces me to take an extra step when I do laundry.  Before washing clothes, I separate whites from colors.  After drying clothes, I separate male from female clothes and store them accordingly.

Why do I mention this?

Recently, I met an acquaintance who blends items from both male and female sides of the closet. It's hard enough for me to keep things straight when switching between gender presentations without having to worry if a garment pairing appears too masculine or feminine.  In some areas of this country, people have been beaten up for much less than an androgynous gender presentation.  So, seeing this friend reminded me of why I do not blend my gender presentations, and why I work to make my feminine presentation as authentic as possible - as if I were a cisgender woman wearing the same clothes.

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I try to make my feminine presentation as accurate as possible, so that I will be mistaken for a cisgender female 99% of the time.  This would make it possible for me to visit my friends in Texas - if I were willing to take the chance to do so.  Right now, whenever I go on a cruise as Marian, I think that the cruise line's facial recognition technology spits out an error code when it scans my photo, triggering a new picture of me to be taken when I arrive at the cruise terminal.  It's too bad that I don't have feminine fat distribution.  I would love to have a zaftig woman's T&A - if only so that I can wear a woman's skirted bathing suit or garments that expose my cleavage, without my biological gender being revealed. 

There are many things that make it possible to blend in as a woman.  First comes confidence.  Next comes the quality of presentation. And finally, one needs to be comfortable in her own skin.  With the exception of having a large body, I think I do well enough to avoid having major problems. (At least, I hope so.)  With that being said, I'd like to have legal ID that corresponds to an ambiguous gender presentation (including name), save for my gender marker.  That would be good enough for 99% of the times I need to present an ID card in public.

One can dream....

Not much to say today

 

 

Today was a dreary day, where I wanted to stay in bed all day.  And for the most part, that's what I did until I had to get up and start taking care of laundry for the week.

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Normally, I try to get my weekly chores done on Sunday, as I reserve Saturday for being with friends. Some of these Saturdays, you'll find Mario going out on a date, hoping to make another love connection with someone who could become special.  Other Saturdays, you'll find me spending time with a friend, just to keep from getting too lonely.

Given that it was wet and foggy outside, I decided to go outside as Mario - only to shop for a few lunches I could eat during the week at work, and to go downstairs to wash a load of colors.  (I can do whites during the week, as I now spend 5-6 days per week as Marian, and don't need them as much.) Soon, I expect that I'll see the new resident in both of my modes.  But I was glad I didn't see her today, as her dad was helping her move in. (He used to work on my car until I got better scheduling of regular maintenance from other shops.)  Sometime later this year, I'll see if she wants to be part of the board, as she suggested that she'd be willing to help out with things.

Towards mid evening, I worked with a fellow board member, and showed her the ropes of using zoom for a meeting.  Now, she has the tools to run a meeting without my assistance - and that's a load off my back.

Dinner with Vicki

 

Today's entry is a short one, as I don't have much time to write....

Now that I work 5 days per week, I don't have much time to get things done.  So, I have to take care of my errands at night and on weekends the way the majority of people do in this world.  It is a shock to me, as I haven't had to live according to a "normal" schedule for years. Yet, I plan to adjust to my new normal for a while to earn a few dollars and bulk up my bank account.

When the day began, I took it easy for a while.  I sent a message to Vicki and suggested getting together. And she had the time to do so - today.  Since I didn't expect that she'd be available until later in the week, I adjusted my plans for the day and scheduled dinner at a Mexican joint that I've gone to several times before.

I took care of little things such as laundry during the day, and finally got around to changing the sheets on my bed.  (Don't ask how long they've been on the bed.  Often, there is a pile of stuff on the side of the bed where a partner used to lay, and it gets in the way of me changing the sheets.)  And then, I changed into Marian mode for dinner.

Dinner with Vicki was nice.  But it was more expensive than expected.  It seems as if we're seeing inflation hit the restaurants that are surviving the pandemic.  In suburbia, limiting restaurants to 50% capacity has forced these establishments to raise prices subtly to help them cover their costs.  In today's case, a dinner which we expected could cost us $40-$50 each cost us $70 each.  Assuming that this is part of a trend, I expect that we will see fewer people being able to afford to dine out at the end of the pandemic, as the fewer surviving restaurants will be able to charge higher prices to the fewer people who are able to pay those prices to eat out.