I'm lucky to live in the Northeast USA

 

Recently, I read a report (I can't find it right now) which lists 6 Northeastern states as being the most friendly to the LGBT community.  I am lucky to live in one of these states.  However, it saddens me that I can't risk visiting a state which is among the most LGBT unfriendly states in the union - Texas.  I'd love to take RQS with me and pay a visit to our 2 friends who live in the Dallas area.

As I've mentioned, I watch a lot of YouTube videos generated by people who have valuable things to say, most of which are well informed on the subjects they discuss.  (There's a lot of garbage out there.  So it takes time to separate the wheat from the chaff.)  One of the videographers I watch is a Floridian who discusses the problems with owning Florida real estate and how overvalued it is right now.  Recently, this gentleman came to New York City and did a video on our real estate market.  Instead of trashing it, he felt (based on objective measurements) that New York City real estate (especially Manhattan real estate) is undervalued.  New York, like major Northeastern cities, is a place where there are not enough places to live.  Yet, it is a place that has many opportunities for those who want to put up with the headaches of living here.

If I choose to take a land trip as Marian, I'll likely be in the Northeast - heading to Washington, DC may not be safe as long as the Orange Snowflake is in power, as its local laws can (and often are) overridden by congress.  This is not a problem for me, as I have yet to explore Northeast in the way the region deserves.  Specifically, I am interested in visiting Boston as Marian and getting to know the city in the way I've gotten to know DC.

For the most part, cities such as New York are cities where people "live and let live".  We are too busy with our own affairs to have the time to cause problems for others.  Since opportunities abound here, we have fewer temptations to retreat into attitudes of the past than if we lived in areas of fewer opportunities. I feel lucky to live in the Lower Hudson Valley, as I have access to New York City and to the rural beauty of the Upper Hudson Valley.  Within a "short" drive, I have access to much of New England.  Even though the Northeast has a highly dense population, there is a lot of rural beauty easily accessible to many who live here.

Could I live elsewhere? Likely not anymore.  Having a relationship with RQS who lives in New York City ties me to this region.  Any move I make would need to consider her needs as well.  Since she can't drive, we would need to be in a place with excellent mass transit.  This rules out much of the USA - especially rural areas of the nation.  I'm glad that I own my apartment, as well as half of a rental property.  At this stage of my life, I can afford to travel - and I expect to do more of this in the region in which I live and express my authentic self.

Lunch with RQS and Vicki (a short post)

 

RQS and I were in the type of mood, where if we didn't have to go out for lunch with a friend, we would have stayed home and rested.  So, we were both relatively quiet and relaxed as we drove to Mt. Kisco to have lunch with Vicki.

- - - - - -

We met Vicki at our usual Greek restaurant, and sat down to eat.  Service was slow.  But, when one considers that we arrived at 2:30 pm, we had no complaints.  Catching up on things, Vicki mentioned that one of her dogs wasn't doing well and that she was going to take it to its breeder's vet - as s/he would have the full health background of the dog.  (There may be a genetic link to the dog's problems.  But that's another story.)

When RQS went for a bio-break, Vicki mentioned that going on 5 cruises in one year is nuts.  But, it's not her monkeys and not her circus.  I didn't take it as anything, but I noted this comment later when RQS and I got home.  For 2 people whose age averages 70 who are childless, what should one do with her money? RQS had never been able to travel much before meeting me, and Covid got in the way of my travel before I met her.  So why not spend our money on experiences while we are still healthy and able to do so?

- - - - - -

I wonder.  Is Vicki projecting her lack of travel into her comment? 

Resistance is Futile. (Yeah, right!)

 

Lately, the last thing the Orange Snowflake wants us to have is hope.  He wants us to feel that resistance is futile.  The reality is, resistance is not futile.  If one looks at the court cases he has been losing, and one can see that even a biased court system can hold him to account, or stop his attacks from a specific legal angle.

For some, staying off of his radar is the best thing to do.  For others, it makes sense to go out in the world without fear (but remaining cautious), as we need to show the world that we exist and are nothing to fear.  And still, for others, one has to take on a public fight.  If one can go stealth, one can still support the trans people who are unable to be stealth where they live,  If one can't go stealth, one can still try to live as normal a life as possible. And if one is already in the public eye, one can take on an open fight and force issues into the courts, where we have a better chance than with the snowflake's growing gestapo force.

 

I have scheduled 4 future cruises.  In normal times, 2 of them would have been taken as Marian.  Given that I don't know how US Customs is treating transgender people (pre-op, post-op, or non-op) with or without gender conforming id since the snowflake took office, I'm erring on the side of caution.  Yet, I am looking for ways that I can travel in a mode closer to my authentic self than I do now.  This will likely have me have photos of me in Mario mode wearing a toupee in an androgynous style, and use that when traveling as Marian.  (I'd be in full Marian mode, with wig and breast forms on a cruise ship, or when I reach my destination.)

 

My resistance is to live my life as openly as I can.  If someone challenges me, I will say that I am trans and see what happens, then act accordingly.  Hopefully, this age of lunacy will end soon, and we will see the light at the end of the tunnel.  Until then, I will resist the snowflake as best I can.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It's hard to believe that Summer is almost over.

 

As I write this, it is the beginning of Labor Day weekend.  Summer is almost over, and I look forward to Autumn and its cool breezes.  In a few months, Winter will come and most people will be complaining about the cold.  As for me, it will mean that I'll have to ration my use of dresses to blend in more with cisgender females as I go out and about.

- - - - - -

Now that Autumn is almost here, I have a busy few weeks ahead of me.  Soon, I'll be visiting Philadelphia with RQS, and we'll also be planning a few day trips in the Hudson Valley region.  We'll also be spending time at RQS's place.  This means that I'll be spending time in Mario mode again. 😔  At least, she'll be happy to see Mario after spending much of the Summer with Marian.

Given that I'm participating in a scientific study, I expect that I'll have to find time each day to play the games meant to help develop mental acuity.  This will present a minor logistical issue when I travel, as I'll have to bring a laptop computer with me instead of the Chromebook I am accustomed to using while traveling.  The only time I expect that I will have a problem allocating time to this project is when I go on my next cruise and do not have access to Wi-Fi for the week.

- - - - - -

The arrival of Autumn does provide me with some opportunities to get dressed up a little and take RQS to a few nice restaurants.  Hudson Valley Restaurant Week usually takes place in early November, and I'll be sure to wear some of my fancier dresses (and, maybe some sexy underwear) when we go out.  Hopefully, some of our favorite places will be on the list, as I'd like to get back to Crabtree's Kittle House, Hudson House Inn, and Xavier X2O's (among other places) again.

Hopefully, this Autumn season will bring a better change of seasons than we've had for the past few years.  When I was young, I loved the deep red leaves we used to see on the trees and ground.  Now, we don't see that many, as the Fall doesn't last as long as it once seemed to do.  Yet, I still keep my fingers crossed to once again see the beauty I once saw in my youth.

 

I find myself more interested in travel than before

 

When I was married, my late wife and I would take yearly vacations and not go too far from home.  The only places more than a day's drive away that we visited were California and Nova Scotia.  I think that had she lived (and our marriage had survived), we would have found a way to travel more.  However, that's one thing among many things that is impossible to know.

After my wife died, I had a good income and I found myself traveling to widows/widowers gatherings across the country, organized by AOL chat room hosts.  For the most part, I was looking to meet friends, while others were looking to find new mates.  That pattern continues today with me attending meetups.  But I digress....

Over the years, I found myself flying out to places such as Biloxi, MS; San Jose, CA; and Pigeon Forge, TN.  Yet, I only found myself traveling out of the country on the two cruises I took and on the trips I took to Niagara Falls and Toronto.  I never put my desire to travel into high gear, and visited places that were truly far and wide.  Without someone with whom to share my experiences, I feel that I might have been afraid to take the risk of leaving my comfort zone.

- - - - - -

When the Twin Towers were attacked on 9/11/01, two of my colleagues from the bank were caught outside the US.  One was North of the border visiting Montreal and the other was vacationing in Salzburg, Austria. They were stuck outside the US until our government figured out what to do. I could only imagine what they were thinking, not being able to come home when they planned to do so.  As for me, I was one of many people tasked with getting our bank up and running after losing our data center in that disaster.  Although I was safe at home, travel seemed a bit scary.  Yet, within 6 months, I went to another widows/widowers gathering in Las Vegas, NV.

It wasn't until my former cruise partner (FCP) suggested it in the 2010's that I took my third cruise.  And I found that I enjoyed the experience, as it was comfortable and allowed me to leave my comfort zone a bit, because I started traveling as Marian.  Yes, I got some strange looks.  But it forced me to learn how to overcome my fears and be the person I am today.

Although my upcoming Norwegian Fjord cruise will be done as Mario, I figure that it is time to get out of my comfort zone again (albeit, just a little) and experience overseas travel.  Who knows?  It could become addicting....

Looking forward to new trips - a quick post.

 

As you might guess from my writing in this blog, I enjoy travel.  Right now, I have 4 planned trips in front of me:

1. A long weekend in Chicago with RQS and my Texas friends.
2. A Bermuda cruise with RQS.
3. A solo cruise to the Bahamas and back.
4. A Norwegian Fjord cruise with RQS in 2024.

Even with these trips planned, I am still trying to figure out ways to travel even more.  For example, I'd like to spend a weekend in Boston with RQS, and see things we couldn't see in our short stop there on last year's cruise.  I could always go back to DC with RQS, as she has relatives in the region that we both enjoy seeing.  And then, Philadelphia comes to mind, as I have not had the time to explore the city in my two trips there.

Unfortunately, travel costs money, and we have to answer a simple question: Where will all this money for travel come from?

The other day, I was chatting with my brother and the subject of my uncle's finances.  (No, I will not go into them here.)  But both of us had similar thoughts - we both want my uncle to enjoy the rest of his life as much as possible, and would rather that he spend it on him and my aunt, than for him to leave us a lot of money.  Yet, if we were lucky enough to inherit a few dollars, I would spend some of it on a bucket list trip with RQS.  My brother said that this was an excellent idea.

What will happen in the future depends on how my finances work themselves out.  If my investments do well, I will spend some of the proceeds on travel.  If not, I will dream about travel.  Either way, travel will be on my mind.  Hopefully, much of that travel will be as Marian, and not as Mario.

I did plenty of nothing, and nothing's plenty for me.

 

Lethargy - It's something that plagues me early in the day, and keeps me from having the energy to do things until it is too late to do them.  In short, my body wants to live a life out of sync with the rest of the world, and it gets frustrating at times.

Today, I was thinking of doing laundry when I got up in the morning, and then go into the city to see the God of Carnage off-Broadway revival.  Instead, I didn't start doing anything until 2 pm, and didn't do laundry until 6 pm.  There was no way that I'd make it in time for the play, so I resumed work for another website I am developing.

The website I'm working on is travel related, and part of what I plan to do will be blog related.  Yet, I have yet to figure out how I want the site to look when I'm done with things, and I have yet to figure out how I want to handle video links on the site. And I'm glad that I was able to get back to work on the blog, as I'd like to have everything related to the project up and running by the end of the year, with content ready for people to view and enjoy.

Since I left the bank 9 years ago, I have done a decent amount of travel on a budget.  There are stories I have to tell and wisdom I have to share.  And this new site will be my medium to do so.  Hopefully, when it is ready, I'll be able to share things here as well....

Can I squeeze in another cruise this year without breaking the budget?

 

 

This past December, I took a bucket list cruise to Hawaii.  I really want to take this cruise again if I can find both the money and the time.  Thinking about this, I wondered, how much cruising can I get into a year of vacations?  And if I find cruises that are worth the money, how do I find the money to afford these cruises without breaking open my nest egg?

- - - - - -

RQS and I just got back from a 5 day trip to Washington, DC, and we have 2 more cruises scheduled for later in the year.  I would like to squeeze in at least 1 or 2 more cruises without breaking the bank, or getting RQS too upset at me.  So, how should I do it?

To answer this question, I am thinking of ways that I can make money off of my travels.  Given that I often travel as Marian, many LGBT cruisers might want access to my knowledge.  Given that I have enough knowledge to counsel the average surface traveler, that might be another area worth exploring. Yet, I can see people traveling vicariously reading about my travels.  But this can only be part of an answer.  I must find ways to travel on the cheap.

Traveling cheaply isn't as hard as it seems.  For example, I spent $62 for a round trip Amtrak ticket between New York and Washington, DC.  If I weren't traveling with RQS, I might have stayed at a cheaper hotel and eaten as more downscale restaurants.  I might have even done what many people do, and picked up reheatable food at a local supermarket and eaten it in my hotel room when the weather isn't so great.  But one can only go so far in being frugal.  Taking a vacation should be a little bit of a splurge, a chance to treat one's self to things not available at home.

- - - - - -

Sometime in the summer, or near year's end, I would like to take another cruise - this time in Marian mode.  To do this, I will want RQS's blessing, as I don't want to risk doing damage to our relationship.  Yet, there is a way that she'd be more than happy for me to take these cruises.  If this becomes a reality, I will say more here....

Musings on packing for another trip - a short post.

 

I have a problem.  Soon, I'm going to take a trip to DC, and will need to pack for a week in both gender presentations.  My luggage for the trip will be stored at RQS's place for several days before the trip. This means I must pack for the trip on the Friday before the trip, as I will need to use my breast forms up to the Thursday before the trip.

Packing for my male presentation is easy.  Packing for my female presentation is also easy.  But packing for both presentations is hard, as I must store bulky items in my luggage that will be used for when I present as female, but must be kept in storage when presenting as female.  Yet, if neither of the two people I want to meet again is able to meet me in DC, I will skip the female presentation and travel solely as Mario.

This will be the first trip that RQS and I will be together where I plan to be both Marian and Mario. What do you think I can do to make my packing easier?

Some tickets I could get. Others, I could not.

 

 

 

Have you ever wondered what to get someone?  Given my age and RQS's age, neither of us needs more stuff.  Instead, we need experiences of the types we couldn't have while married to our late spouses.  Both of us enjoy travel together, and both of us enjoy going to live performances.  So I look out for musicians, comedians, and theatrical performances that I think the two of us will like, and get tickets for her as one of my gifts.

For Christmas, I bought tickets to "The Play That Goes Wrong", and she loved it.  For Valentine's Day, I bought tickets to see A.J. Croce singing songs written by his dad about 50 years ago. (I was a great fan of his dad, and his death shocked me when I was much younger than I am now.)  Hopefully, this performance will do justice to his dad's work.  And for RQS's birthday, I bought tickets for us to see Sarah Millican in concert.  Given that we both want to see this comedienne, I expect that we will have a great time.

However, not all tickets are easy to get.  Nor do many of the performers I like make it to the United States that often.  For example, RQS and I tried to get tickets to see the Ukulele Orchestra of Great Britain, and their "nearby" USA concerts are already sold out.  Ouch.  And don't get me started on Ralph McTell. I don't remember when he last toured the states, and I would love to hear him perform Streets of London in person.

There are many performers I wish I could have seen while they were touring, or while they were alive. For example, I kick myself for not seeing Ennio Morricone when he was last in New York.  Now that he has passed away, I'll have to settle for the music he left behind.  Another performer I doubt I will get the chance to see is Astrud Gilberto.  Yes, "The Girl from Ipanema" is one of my favorite songs. Since she is in her 80's, I doubt she'll be in the NYC area again.

In life, it is the experiences that count.  And they can't take away the memories of those experiences we had - especially if they are cherished by the people we share them with.

If it weren't for things to do, I wouldn't get up - A short post.

 

Being a biological male, I have to deal with a problem.  Once one no longer has to go to work, one loses a reason to get up in the morning.  In my case, I could stay in bed for days at a time, if I didn't schedule things to justify getting up sometime during the day.  One of the things I try to do when I'm up is to think about future travel plans, as they give me a reason to keep getting up.

Lately, I've been trying to book as much travel as possible into my schedule, so that I always have something real to look forward to. Three trips are already scheduled for the year, and I am looking to schedule one or two more trips.  So far, I have trips to DC, California, and Bermuda planned, and may book a trip to the Bahamas by the end of the year.

The California and Bermuda trips will consist of 7 day cruises, and be on cruise lines (Princess and NCL) that I have both sailed on before and enjoyed very much.  However, if I book the Bahamas cruise, it will be on a new line, MSC, and I have heard mixed things about this cruise line.  The things that most people complain about are the uninspired food offerings. If I take this trip, it will likely be without RQS, as I'm not sure if she'd be ready to gamble more money on a trip she might not enjoy. As for me, it will be an opportunity to travel as Marian and relax a bit.

Right now, the Bahamas cruise is only something that keeps my mind busy.  And even if I never take that trip, it's a pleasant diversion....

And now, we've booked another cruise

RQS has the cruising bug!  Ever since we went on our first cruise, she can't seem to get enough of cruising to new ports and exploring.

As of today, we are booked on an NCL cruise that will take us to Bermuda and back.  One of the problems with a typical Bermuda cruise is that there is not enough time on the island to explore and get a feel for the place.  Our cruise will give us that time, and we will still be able to skip unwanted ports such as Port Canaveral.

The two of us have similar tastes, and it's nice to have a travel companion with whom I can explore the world together.  I've noted that if I were to come into a significant sum of money, that I'd book a bucket list cruise for the two of us.  But that is a way off.  And then, how would I present on the cruise?  All of my ID says "Mario", when I want to do much of my traveling as "Marian".  So I'd be limited in where I could go, as most places are not trans-friendly.

So, I do my research in where we can go, and save my memories of a place to determine whether I can travel there as Marian in the future.  Not all of my travels will be on cruise ships.  But you can guess that a lot of them will be, as this is an inexpensive way to enjoy a vacation.

 

There are so many trips I want to take, but so little time and money left to do them.

 

Lately, I've been thinking of the places I want to see and the trips I want to take. As much as I'd like a companion to travel with, there's a part of me that enjoys traveling alone.  Having been widowed more than twice as long as I was married, part of me yearns for having someone with whom I can build a history with. And there's another part of me that needs to chart my own path.

I'm not sure whether any companion I may travel with might accept traveling with Marian.  It's more costly per person to travel as a single than to travel with a companion.  And my frugality recognizes that I miss FCP for this reason (among others). But now, it's time for me to figure out which trips will be important to me and which trips I can take - preferably as Marian, if possible.

On my list, in no particular order or sequence are the following trips I'm giving a high priority:

• Great Britain and Ireland, with a week in London, returning on the Queen Mary
• Iceland (preferably on a cruise ship), doing the ring around the island.
• Panama Canal Cruise (old locks)
  
• Hawaii (already booked)
• Cross Country Train from NYC to/from Seattle
• Cross Country Train from Toronto to/from Vancouver
• Cross Country Car trip, seeing the USA in a car other than a Chevrolet.
  (The details of such trip have yet to be defined.)

Some trips (not on this list) will be done twice, once as Mario and (hopefully) once as Marian. The first trip would be to find out what procedures exist for entering and leaving a foreign land, as the last thing I need is to be hassled outside the USA because I prefer to travel as Marian.  

However, traveling pretty (as Kim might put it) is not my only travel related issue.  So is time and money. The cost of travel insurance for foreign travel gets more expensive as I get older, and I am already approaching 65 too quickly. Additionally, it seems like more demands are being made of my time these days, so I have less time available to travel. Finally, I now have a finite supply of money, and need to budget it carefully for the rest of my life.  So, the key to part of my future happiness is that I have to be ruthless in choosing my trips, as I want to be sure that I get the most out of the time and money I have left to me.

Right now, I'm glad I have my job

 

If it weren't for having a job, I would be raiding my savings account for much more money than I've needed to do this year.  It's not the job I want to keep forever.  Instead, it's the kind of job to keep until I have something better to do.

It's nice being able to go to work as Marian on a regular basis.  Yet, this job does not allow the social engagement I would like.  Yet, I can't complain.  The job is exactly as was presented to me.  And I'll do it to keep from draining savings.  If a travel opportunity opens up to me, I may leave the job so that I can take my trip.

There's not much I can do to make my job more interesting.  I think of it as a form of electronic "whack a mole".  It lulls me to sleep when I'm tired, and I need to make sure I have my coffee before starting work.  By the end of the day, my body clock is waking the body up, so that it can go home safely.  My boss could put me in a different area.  Yet, I think he's trying to be nice to me by giving me an easy job to do.  No complaints will come from my area of the peanut gallery.

- - - - - -

The other day, FH wondered why I don't buy a new car.  The answer is simple.  I hate draining my savings accounts when I am living on an artificially low income.  TCL understands this quite well, even though she's on a tighter budget than I am.  I expect that by this time next year, I'll be looking at buying that new car.  Will it be a used car, like Vicki might get?  Or, will it be a new car, like I usually get?  Either way, I will need reliable transportation while working and while dating.

This job gives me way too much time to think.  I have to remind myself to focus on other things when my thoughts go where they would likely make me sad or angry.  Here, I'm glad that I've been listening to a series of TV shows dedicated to Meditation.  I've found that they relax me enough to fall asleep AND that they teach me certain coping skills I need to short circuit the cycle of anger and sadness.

- - - - - -

Now that the pandemic is easing off, too many people will be rushing to get out and about.  This is the time that I may be avoiding the growing crowds, as I still expect another wave of the pandemic to cause many of us grief.  Instead, I'll stay inside, work as hard as possible, and possibly save some money for future travel.

The "Race" to find a Girlfriend - Status Update

 

Seven years ago, I was at the above lighthouse on my earliest date as Marian.  The woman I was with knew I was cross dressing, and was OK with it.  However, she had her issues, and big ones at that.  So we were never in contact with each other after our third date.  Seeing this picture, I thought of this lady, and decided to see whether she is still alive (she had health issues) or not.  I'm glad I found out that she's still alive.  And I now know that she's living with her ninety year old mother.  (One day, I might drop her a line to find out what has gone on in her life since we were last in contact. But this is not a high priority with me.)

- - - - - -

Now that FL has taken herself out of the "Girlfriend Race", I can say that FH wants to spend a weekend with me in Amish Country. With the Coronavirus starting its second wave, I'm not sure if I really want to do this trip at this time.  But if it means we can test out our physical attraction without distractions at home, I'm willing to do so.  Yet, I'm not completely sure if I want to place my "long term" bets on FH yet.

The other day, I had a date with a woman from Manhattan. (Let's call her JM for now.)  JM and I met in Tarrytown, and we spent the better part of three hours talking with each other.  In certain ways, she's out of my league.  But if I am good dating material for her, it might be worth seeing what happens. This will involve the inevitable disclosure of my dual gendered nature.  Is this person worth the risk? We seem to get along more smoothly than I did with FH on our first date.  So I'll have to see what happens on a second date - both of us need to know whether each of us are "first date wonders."

- - - - - -

On other matters, I mentioned in a prior entry that a former friend rang my Google Voice number and didn't leave me a message.  (Her number was blocked because of events that happened a year ago.)  By the time you read this, she should have received a birthday card from me. And I will then find out whether her phone call was an accident or not.  (If there is no response, I'll know that this former friend accidentally dialed my number.)