My paperwork is complete. Now to send it out.

 

I finally filled in the last form I needed to register a foreign birth and gain a second citizenship in a European country (which I will leave unnamed for now.)  There's a part of me that has been hesitant about doing this.  But, with all that's going on in GOP politics in this country, it pays to have the ability to go somewhere if this country turns into a fundamentalist "Christian" autocratic kleptocracy.

- - - - - -

My grandmother was born in Europe in 1903.  She came here when she was 17, and gave birth to my dad out of wedlock.  (Yes, I can affectionately call my dad a bastard.  But then, I never did so.)  30 years later, my mom gave birth to me.  Luckily, according to the laws of one country, the child of a citizen is automatically considered a citizen of that country.  Grandchildren must file to be recorded in the foreign births registry before they are considered citizens.  It's a shame that my brother didn't do this before his children were born. His children would have been able to inherit citizenship from him, and be able to be citizens of 2 countries.  (My niece is preparing to become a UK subject, but that's another story.)

It's strange for me to think of myself as a citizen of more than one country.  But then, it's strange to think that America's democracy may be dead by our 250th birthday.  As a transgender person, I worry what will happen if the wall between church and state no longer exists, and that people are allowed to proselytize in the workplace. No longer will we be able to be free to hold our own beliefs and practice them. We're already seeing signs that this is happening with some of the rule relaxations that the Orange Snowflake is proposing.  I am still not emotionally prepared to pull up stakes and move to another country to be safe from America's madness.

- - - - - -

Once I was done getting the application form notarized, I prepared everything to be mailed out in the morning.  And then, I decided to take a drive up to Goodwill to see if I could buy a cheap carry-on for the times I am out doing an overnight as Marian. (One carry-on for Marian, and one for Mario.)  The used clothing there looked in much better shape than the used luggage.  I guess that I'll have to order an inexpensive carry-on from Amazon for this purpose. 

This weekend, I will likely be in Marian mode when I go to RQS's place. I have a set of dresses there that I can wear, and I figure that I might as well be comfortable.  We'll be seeing one of her friends (who has seen me in both presentations), and I not sure of what we'll do after that.  At least, I'll be able to drive down to her place, and not try to find the bus to her place at its new starting point. 

 

 

 

 

PS: on August 6th, I received word from the Foreign Births Registry that my paperwork has been received.  Now to wait a few months before the next step in the process.  Hopefully, bu this time next year, I will be a citizen of two countries. 

Today didn't go as planned - and it's just as well.

 

Yesterday, I sent out two pieces of paper by snail mail.  The first was a form my brother needs to have notarized so that we can send it in to the town for a rental permit.  The second was to my best friend from college, trying to find out why his special email account was disconnected.  (Given that he had a stroke a few years ago, I assume the worst - he passed away, and both his email account and his domain (blueroan.com) were shut down.)  Hopefully, my brother will be able to get the first piece of paper taken care of before his vacation, and I will get notice that my friend is alive and well in Florida.

- - - - - -

Today, I planned to get some passport photos taken, fill out the form to register my overseas birth with a foreign registrar.  This would allow me to get my second passport, something I might need if things go "impossibly" wrong here for us transgenders.  Well, I got those photos taken, but I didn't fill out the form, as I wanted to make sure I could get things notarized and a paperwork package in international mail on the same day. Next, I wanted to do some laundry, so that I would have fresh clothes for an upcoming trip.  (This I did later on in the day.)  Then, things went wrong - I knocked over a lamp in my bedroom and glass was scattered on the floor on RQS's side of the bed.  Now, I had to take care of two things: (1) Clean off the carpet as best I could and vacuum the remaining glass fragments out of the carpet; (2) Buy a replacement lamp, so that I have enough light in the room when I'm not sleeping.

If I had gotten everything done as planned, I would have switched into female presentation to close out the day, and consider going to the movies where I'd be entertained for the evening.  Given that I needed to be male presentation for the passport photos and it was in the 90's outside, it wasn't worth switching into Marian's presentation to go shopping.  At least, tomorrow I will be able to get into Marian mode again.

Lunch with TCL

 

I was semiconscious for part of the morning, and I didn't start getting ready to see TCL until 11 am.  My original plans were to get some paperwork taken care of, get passport photos taken, go to the bank to notarize a form, and then send it in for my second passport - all before driving to TCL's place.  None of these things took place - all I could do was to shave, shower, and dress as Mario before driving to New Jersey.

The usual trip to TCL's place has been getting longer over the past few years, as more traffic than ever is on Route 287. Making note of the Eastbound traffic on the bridge, I made plans to return home via the Bear Mountain Bridge.  Just before my intended exit, there was some road construction that backed up the highway for 1 1/2 miles.  So I was glad to have built in some extra time to get to TCL's place, as I barely got there on time at 1 pm.

TCL took a few minutes to get ready, and we first drove to the mechanic's shop to pick up her car.  And then, we went to lunch in town.  TCL treated me to lunch, as my birthday was earlier in the month, so I was a little bit ahead of the game today. However, my mind wasn't in sync with our conversation, as I was still a bit out of things until lunch was halfway over. This was just as well, as she has some of the same judgemental habits that she doesn't like in others.  After lunch, we went back to her place, and I took care of hanging some pictures for her. 

Around 3 pm, I left TCL's place and drove home via the Bear Mountain Bridge, arriving home at 4 pm.  At this point, I needed a nap, and didn't regain a form of consciousness until 7 pm.  At least some paperwork I requested for our family homestead was ready and I'm now ready to submit the next set of paperwork, so that we can rent out the house.... 

At least, after taking care of some more paperwork, I will be able to switch back into Marian Mode tomorrow. 

Lunch with a friend who I used to work with.

 

The docket for the day had me lunching with SJM.  We skipped our monthly lunch in June, as she had too many things pop up that got in the way - right before the cruise we were supposed to take.  So we had a lot more to say than usual, but less time than we wanted.

- - - - - -

For some reason, my CPAP turned itself off last night, and it wouldn't turn back on.  I wondered why it did.  So, I switched the transformer and power cord (I have an extra in my CPAP travel bag) and it worked.  Now, I had to check out the original transformer and power cord.  This time, I plugged it into a different outlet - and everything worked!  Because I can't explain why things happened, I will need to swap the original back to my CPAP machine and make sure it works - then keep it that way for a while.

Now that I was wide awake, I decided to eat breakfast and nap until 11 am.  At 11:15, I started to get showered and dressed for lunch.  Making it to lunch at 1 pm, I met SJM and sat down for our meal.  I told her about my cruises, and she told me about what was going on with her, her sons, her husband, and her "headaches" with everything.  Her older son has the problems that one would expect from someone who needs more real-world experience before he can safely be completely on his own in life.  The other is willing to take on more challenges than his mom is comfortable with.  All of her problems share one detail - she is not a superwoman who has a solution for every problem. 

All too soon, lunch had to end and we parted.  I then checked in with my brother and found out that I still needed to get a document so that we can submit paperwork needed to rent out our house.  Tomorrow, I'll call up the town, and get things done.  But first, I would stop by the local Walmart to buy myself some anti-chafe slip shorts to wear under my dresses.  By the time I was home for the night, it was 7:30 - just enough time to get a load of laundry done.

It was a nice day to spend as Marian.  Soon, I'll have to switch back to Mario mode to get some paperwork notarized.... 

Donner und Blitzen (That's "Thunder and Lightning" to us Yanks.)

 

The "Highlight" of the day was the thunderstorm.  Although I had lots of things I could have done today, I decided to do only a small number of them.  And I'm glad that I did what I did....

- - - - - -

I started off the day with the "Blahs".  Nothing seemed to interest me that much, and all I wanted to do was watch videos on YouTube.  The most interesting of these was a cruise blogger talking about her Northern European cruise to the land where the sun never sets in the summer.  Both RQS and I wish we were cruising there this summer.  Yet, we are grateful to have been able to sail to the most interesting of the Norwegian ports before they were shut down to conventionally powered ships. 

Why did I watch YouTube videos instead of my "normal" news channels?  Well, I get sick when I see the Orange Snowflake make an ass of himself and show how America has fallen. As I've said in other posts, I try to limit my exposure to the evil this man sows, so that I retain my sanity.  These days, he keeps trying to distract people from  his association with the Pedophile Jeffrey Epstein, and even his base is calling him out on it.  Are there any files or not?  Either way, he will be caught in a lie.  And when it involves underage females, even his base has a line that it will not cross.

- - - - - -

Originally, I was supposed to go to TCL's place and have lunch.  With today's rain, it was smart of me not to drive to her place.  It was raining "Cats and Dogs", and I hate driving in this kind of weather.  The last thing I would need is a flat and have to call for help in this weather.  Instead, I stayed home and waited for an Amazon delivery to come.  Now, I have a new wig stand, more breast form cleaner, and a new shaver for my female "to go" kit.  (Next, I need to find a cheap carry-on to finish my female "to go" setup.)

While at home, I started taking care of paperwork needed to formally rent out the family homestead again.  Although it's not complete, I'm hoping that we'll have the house rented by September, and that I can again focus on issues in which I have no emotional interest.

In short, it was a "Blah" day kept "Blah" by rain, thunder and lightning. 

Lots of little stuff, but nothing of major importance.

 

This was "one of those days."  No, it was not a disastrous day.  Instead, it was a day where everything was a little bit off, and led me not to accomplish much.

- - - - - -

I may have mentioned that my apartment's super was coming over today to work on the bathtub water faucets.   To do this, I had to be up early, so that I could be ready anytime he was to come.  This meant that I would be dressing as Mario today, as I would be able to take care of some errands that required the presence of me in boy mode.

Once dressed, I put two loads of laundry into the wash, and then took care of errands.  Between the time I put clothes into the wash and then the dryer, I picked up some lunch.  Once the clothes were in the dryer, I deposited $440 in checks and took out $140 in cash to pay my super for his time and materials.  Laundry was done by 1 pm, so I had the time to sit and relax in the apartment until the super came.

This would be the first time I payed loose attention to the work my super was doing in the bathroom.  An hour later, I had learned a couple of things about bathroom plumbing, as well as having a plumbing fixture that should last a few years.  The super only asked for $50 to cover the parts he bought.  But I slipped him an extra $50 to help compensate him for his effort (even though it was done on co-op time).

Now that I had a working faucet again, I could rest.  Then TCL (The Cat Lady, as I call her) called just before I was about to take a short nap.  While on the phone, I found that I got an email from NYS Office of Unclaimed Funds - we need 2 more documents before they can send us any money.  That's OK with me, but I don't have access to certain things, and I forwarded the email to my brother for his opinion.

- - - - - -

Thankfully, the weather will be cooler tomorrow, and I will feel better about going outside - if it doesn't rain.... 

Paperwork - I'll probably need to get more official copies

 

As my readers know, I've been preparing to file the paperwork to get a second passport.  It's nice to know that because of my genealogical heritage, I qualify for a citizenship via birthright.  If I recall correctly, even the Nazis didn't stop Jews with foreign passports from returning to their homelands.  They simply wanted Nazi held territory "Judenfrei." 

Even though we haven't had any official pogroms yet, the USA has killed people simply because of their ethnicity.  (Just ask any African-American or Native American/Indian about how their ancestors were killed by "White" Americans.)  Given this administration in power, I don't trust that it will be stopped before they put transgender people in prison camps - we're already seeing people deported to Salvadoran prisons without due process.  

With these considerations before me, I will file my citizenship (overseas birth) registration, and hope to have my second citizenship before year end.  But this is not the only paperwork I have to take care of.  Right now, I must deal with unclaimed funds for both my parents' estates. Since I don't have originals of either death certificate, I'm planning on sending photocopies, as New York isn't asking for official copies of these documents.  (This is where I may need to take the time to get official copies of these documents.)  Unfortunately, I have no idea of how much my brother and I will receive, as New York doesn't list the amount to be claimed on their site.  And this is not the last bit of paperwork to be filed.  I have to find several savings bonds bought by my late wife and then file for their redemption.  Once this is done, the important paperwork that needs to be done will be done.

Thankfully, I have my friend Maria that I can ask to notarize documents for me.  If I can, I'll finally get to introduce RQS to Maria when RQS is next here.   But that will be on a busy weekend, as Vicki, RQS and I will be going to the Flax Barn Sale for some discount shopping.  I'll bet that by then, I'll have even more paperwork to deal with.

   

It's been a long weekend, and I'm almost glad it's over

 

I'll bet that RQS was feeling like this on her way home today.  On Friday, she had lost her cell phone, and we drove to Queens on Saturday to retrieve it.  Most of the remaining weekend was spent resting, recharging ourselves for the week ahead.

But why do I mention this?

My brother had a busier weekend than I did.  My nephew lives on the west coast, and my brother went out there for a competition my nephew participated in.  As expected, my nephew did well, and is preparing for the next step in his competitive career.  This meant that my brother didn't have the time to take care of paperwork I needed, nor did he have the time to recharge his batteries after an over-full week at work.  There was no way I was going to pester my brother for paperwork with the stuff he has going on in his life.  Instead, I made sure to talk about my nephew for 20 minutes before asking any questions such as: Did my brother have the chance to find my grandmother's death certificate? Of course, he also had an answer for my unasked question.  And we then proceeded to talk about priorities for the rental property we jointly own.

- - - - - -

When RQS finally made it home, she found something in her mailbox - jury duty pay.  Someone had pilfered the original check sent to her, so she had to file a claim for the money owed to her.  Now, she can afford to treat me to a fine dinner at l'Arca del Oro. (That's Mickey D's, for those who don't get the reference.)  She's in a better place than she was a week ago.  And now, I gave her a much more pleasant task than the doctors did last week - choosing a restaurant to go to for Hudson Valley Restaurant Week (HVRW).

Last night, I had a disagreement with my brother.

 

My brother and I had a stiff disagreement last night, and it got me to thinking that we should sell the rental property we jointly own.  He is overworked, over-tasked, and overwhelmed.  And all I was asking him to do was to take care of the financials for the property, so that I can get my taxes done by April 15th.  Today, he called to apologize for getting upset, and I gracefully accepted the apology.  (I won't tell him that he triggered my emotional walls to go up and prepare for the absolute worst to happen.)

- - - - - - 

We are in the process of getting the house ready for another rental.  Recently, we were told that we need a new hot water installed.  This will cost about $3,000 or so, excluding permits. When the permits were filed for, we encountered another problem - our dad had converted the house from oil to gas heat.  But the paperwork wasn't marked as complete in the town offices, and we have more headaches because of things that happened years ago.

 

The work was done, but it appears that the final inspection wasn't taken care of.  So, my brother is contacting the plumbing firm that took care of the boiler install years ago, and we hope to get this resolved without spending too much money.  Once this is done, the new permit for the hot water heater could be issued, and we could finally be done with some of the work that's needed for the house.

- - - - - -

Looking at work we need to take care of , I feel that we need to replace windows in the basement, followed by installing a half-bath in the basement.  This way, we can up the rent and recover what we put into the house this year.

Right now, I have the money in my bank accounts to fund the work on my own if needed.  But that's not how things work.  My brother has to find ways of financing his home maintenance as well as financing his share of this house's maintenance.  This makes me glad that I only have to worry about my co-op board responsibilities, leaving general financing issues to a party of others.

I'm glad that I never bought a townhouse or detached home....

 

 

 

 

How do you talk to a friend named Maria....

 

I've known my friend Maria for almost as long as I've lived in my apartment.  We worked together near the beginning of our careers, and we've kept in contact with each other through the loss of my wife, her divorce, and the loss of her second husband.  Neither of us has been available when the other has been free, and that's a plus for a good friendship.  I'm probably the only person who can say that she slept in my bed every night for several months, and there was nothing immoral about it.  (I lent her a folding cot with thick mattress, as her ex-husband stole all of the bedroom furniture in the house.  My 'bed' was over 35 miles away when she slept in it.)

Maria knows me both as Mario and as Marian, and is comfortable with me in both presentations.  She leans to the right politically, while I lean to the left.  And yet, she finds what is going on in DC these days very disturbing.  So, when I started discussing politics, she didn't challenge me on the facts - she knew that the Orange Snowflake is up to no good.

The real reason for us getting together was to have lunch - we haven't been able to do so in months.  The secondary reason was to have some paperwork notarized.  Over lunch, I found out that her two grand-kids are living at home again, and that the eldest has already entered puberty.  (If I ever go through that experience again, it will be because of estrogen, not testosterone, like my first puberty.  But I digress.)  The younger of the two grand-kids is still cute.  I can only imagine what it will be like when this child enters puberty.  As you can guess, when a grandmother is raising her grandchildren, it takes a lot of energy out of a person, leaving little left for her volunteer work and for her social life.

Lunch lasted over 2 hours, and at the end, she notarized some of the documents I'll need to apply for my second passport.  And then, we left Cold Spring to go our separate ways....

- - - - - -

I had no energy when I got home, and it was all I could to so that 2 loads of laundry could get done.  By the time it was done, I had decided to blow off game night for a change.  I never do this.  But with RQS coming up tomorrow, I wanted to be ready for her arrival in the afternoon.

Later in the evening, RQS and I got into a long discussion about my brother, the family homestead, and interactions with  both friends and family.  I mentioned my friend Nan from the AOL Widows/Widowers chat room (long disbanded) and a wish to visit her in the "North Country"  RQS was up for it (she wanted some new photo opportunities), so I sent a DM to Nan to see if it would be OK.  Hopefully, she will be up for visitors, as I know that people in their 80's don't have a lot of life in front of them....

There are many levels of paperwork to be dealt with.

 

As I might have mentioned, I am in the process of getting a second passport.  With the lunacy going on in the USA, it would be foolish of any trans person not to have an escape route out of the USA if the worst were to happen.  (Given the similarities of 2024's USA to 1932's Germany, it's not as far fetched as many middle of the road Americans might think.)  To do this, in my case, one has to have a grandparent born in a particular country, then prove that you have a right to citizenship via "Overseas Births".  This means the following:

1. Get a copy of one's grandparent's birth certificate from the country of origin.
   (My brother mailed away to the appropriate people, and got a certified copy of this document.)
   
   
2. Get a copy of the birth certificate that shows one's parent qualified to be a citizen via overseas birthright.  (I was charged to take care of this.)
   
   
3. Get a copy of my birth certificate, showing my father (or mother) was my parent by blood. 
   (This would show that I qualify for citizenship via Overseas Birth.)
   

Steps 1 & 3 didn't take much time.  However, Step 2 took 14 weeks, as New York City and New York State had to be involved with this process.  Now that I have proof of my lineage, I can proceed to the next step - beginning the process of filing paperwork to get citizenship via overseas birth.

- - - - - -

Italy, Ireland, and the United Kingdom are 3 countries which allow for citizenship via overseas births.  However, the UK only provides for patrilineal overseas birth citizenship.  Yet, having an Irish passport allows one to BOTH reside in the European Union and the United Kingdom, as Ireland and the UK have treaties that were in effect before the EU was established.  From what I understand, Germany and Russia also have forms of overseas birth citizenship, but I won't comment on them here.

I also may qualify for a third passport based on my mother's lineage.  If I were to get that, I could travel (and possibly live) anywhere in the British Commonwealth.    Right now, I am focused on getting my 2nd passport based on my father's lineage, as it gives me the most freedom to travel if needed....

Keep your fingers crossed.

Some random thoughts

 

Right now, I'm thinking about what will happen if Trump wins the election.  And it doesn't look good for anyone in the LGBTIQ community.  Recently, I  found a map of states which have passed "Bathroom Bills", and these tend to be the states which seem the most extreme in "traditional values".  One thing I've learned over the years is that when religion becomes too powerful (or too weak) a force in society, that society becomes more authoritarian in enforcing conformity.

Does this affect me?  You bet it does!  And it could get much worse if these religious radicals get even more power in a Trump administration.

Looking at the map, I found that my going to the loo in Florida was a criminal act.  Given that all trans people need to take bio-breaks now and then, it would be risky for me to get off a cruise ship in this state. This has placed an artificial restriction on how I visit this state - if I do visit it at all.  Just because I can still visit in stealth mode doesn't mean that I want to do this.  Instead, I'll avoid this state altogether, with the exception of when RQS and I visit her sister.

- - - - - -

Right now, my brother and I are looking to file paperwork to have dual citizenship with the US and one nation in Europe.  Both of us are doing this for completely different reasons.  Yet, both of us have the same goal - to have a place to escape to if the crud hits the fan in the United States.  Could this happen?  Sadly, the answer is yes.  When I see ominous parallels between this country and the Germany of 100 years ago, I get worried. Sometimes, it's just best to be able to get out of Dodge City before sundown.

- - - - - -

Not all is gloom and doom with me.  The other day, I had an fMRI done as part of a scientific study. Now that the study is underway, I received an Amazon gift certificate which is enough for me to replace a dying TV I have in the house.  The software I have to use on a daily basis is fun to use, albeit not excitingly so.  (I guess I am no longer into video games in the way I once was when younger.) 

- - - - - -

Dealing with bureaucracy can be a big pain.  Recently, as mentioned above, my brother got a bug up his behind that we needed to accelerate the progress in getting a second passport.  To do this, we need to get official copies of our birth certificates and that of our father.  I told my brother that I needed copies of our father's death certificate (I know how large bureaucracies work with official paperwork) before I went down to the city.  He forgot to send me this paperwork, and I knew that I wouldn't be able to get our father's birth certificate for a few weeks.

My brother has way too much on his plate right nw, and he needs to feel that he's in control.  He told me of a problem that took 20 years to develop, and that he expects to clean it up in 2 years.  He may be able to clean up his firm's mess, but it will take longer for him (or someone else) to change the corporate culture that caused the problem.  He doesn't see that, as he focuses on the financial side of things and not the people side of things.

- - - - - -

RQS found a cruise to New England and Eastern Canada that we wanted to take in September.  Although I could afford to drop $1,200 on a whim, I knew that RQS spending this kind of coin now would get in her way of being able to afford next year's Alaska cruise.  After sending her some financial details, she realized that we would not be able to get the price of the cruise down to a level she could afford.  But damn!  The cruise was so near, and yet so far.

We certainly could use a cruise this winter.  I was thinking of taking a cheap MSC cruise and paying for RQS as a Christmas or Birthday present.  However, the cruises offered by MSC stop in Florida, and I certainly don't want to deal with Florida's bathroom laws while traveling as Marian.  I guess that we will need to find another trip to take early next year.

- - - - - -

When I bought my car, the salesman "helpfully" set up the radio presets in my car, as well as setting up my first service appointment.  One problem - I had to redo the presets to organize them the way I wanted and I had to schedule car maintenance earlier than he planned.  His "help" wasn't that helpful, as I now have a service appointment scheduled that I'll have to cancel soon.

While I'm thinking about my car, I shudder to think of how the auto companies will try to turn car features from purchase options to subscription options.  GM is trying to ditch Android Auto and Apple Car Ply, so that they can convert services provided by Google and Apple for FREE, and making the car owner pay for Maps, directions, etc when in the car.  I guess this may mean that I'll have to keep my car on the road longer than the 8 years I planned. 

Why do I want to replace my car within 8 years?  New York, like California is trying to force people to switch to EVs from ICE vehicles (EV- Electric, ICE - Internal Combustion Engine).  I want to buy what will likely be my last car while I can still get a gas powered vehicle.  I'll bet dollars to donuts that we will not have sufficient electric infrastructure in place to support the ICE->EV transition by 2035.  

- - - - - -

Enough for now.   I hope you enjoyed some of my thoughts.....

 

Did I do Laundry? No! But I did go shopping.

 

There's an old saying that goes: "Only Mad Dogs and Englishmen go out in the midday sun."  Given how hot it was today, it made sense for me to stay inside for most of the day, only bothering to go outside to do some shopping at Walmart and to pick up some things at CVS.  

- - - - - -

Today's shopping list included a motley assortment of items:

• New Sneakers to replace ones that are wearing out
• Makeup, specifically Eyebrow Liner and Setting Powder
  
• Gift bag to hold a photo album that I'm giving to my neighbors for their wedding.
  (They don't expect anything from me, but they are a nice young couple who I like a lot.)

My first stop was at Walmart, so that I could buy the sneakers.  In theory, I could have bought everything here.  However, I was in a rush to get the sneakers, then go for some dinner before an 8 pm zoom meeting with my Texas friends. While at Walmart, I encountered my friendly transgender checkout clerk.  When she asked me why I wasn't on her line, I noted that I didn't want to cut in front of the person next on line.  Then that person let me in, so I could chat for a minute with my friend.

Soon afterwards, I was on my way to dinner, and then to CVS.  Did I pick up the gift bag while picking up makeup?  No.  That would have to wait until after the Zoom meeting.  So I opened the zoom meeting, and it didn't last as long as usual.  (RQS and I would chat about this later on.  But I won't go into details here.)  I still had to go back to CVS to pick up the gift bag, and I could have our nightly chat while I was driving.

I found the gift bag I wanted at CVS, and took a long drive around Northern Westchester while chatting with RQS.  Instead of taking the usual routes that I would drive, I made sure not to hit the usual cell phone dead spots - this had me doubling back along the route I drove to Tarrytown.  Once home, I finished up some paperwork I needed before going to NYC to request long form birth certificates for myself and my late father.  (Hopefully, I won't have any problems with this request, as I need to file both my father's and my birth certificates as part of the chain of ancestry I need to prove on some government paperwork I have to start filing soon. And then, I started to do the brain exercises required by the study I'm participating in.  Were they fun?  Yes, only because they are presented as a game.  However, this could get boring quickly.

- - - - - - 

So, am I a mad dog or an Englishman?  Probably not, as I avoided going outside in the worst of the heat.  But I did end up going outside after all....
 

My last day of packing, and I still can't find some things.

 

This is one trip that I'm glad to be traveling as Mario.  I don't have the right 3-season wear to travel as Marian.  And even as Mario, I  still have problems packing clothes that would take me from Summer to Winter and back during a single day.  What makes things worse, is that I misplaced (or donated) some of the cold weather gear that I bought (or was given) when I was with XGFJ.  

- - - - - -

My mind has been spinning in regard to what unknown unknowns could trip me up.  One of those things is what happens when we get off the plane and have to go through customs.  Another is what happens when we get to the cruise ship with different documentation requirements than I've needed for all of my other trips.  And then, there are the many currency/credit card issues that I have yet to experience for the first time.  AARGH!

Once I've gone through this experience, I'll be more relaxed for future trips.  Yet, I still have to do some research for future international trips to be taken as Marian.  When I go to Bermuda, I'll try to find out for sure whether it will be safe to go there as Marian, though my ID will say Mario.  Assuming that I end up going there as Marian, I still have a goal: To cruise around the British Isles as Marian, then return home on the Queen Mary. I'll be able to enjoy "Dressing to the Nines" and live even more of my life as Marian than I could have dreamed when I was much younger.

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But back to packing....

Now, I'm finishing up my packing.  Most of my electronic gizmos (chargers, wires, etc.) are going in my knapsack along with a week's worth of pills.  The rest of my medicine is going in my carry on bag.  I'll have a change of clothes in the carry-on, as well as enough underwear and socks for 3 days.. All of my paperwork will be stashed in the carry-on, as that will be the safest place to store them while in transit.  Once I arrive in London, I can put the passport in my trousers for when I reach customs.

Hopefully, I haven't missed anything major.  If so, I'll be writing about it soon.

The car is gone. (Not!)

 

The original title of this post is one I hoped would be true when I thought of something to write about.  I've known that DCD has always been a flake of some sort, avoiding harsh truths when he thinks he could take an easy way out.  So I had my worries that he would flake out in the middle of the car transfer process.  For all I care, he could take the old car and not pay me for it.  I simply wanted it out of my parking spot.  And this is where I had my concerns when he said that he couldn't take possession of the car until early May....

Well, early May came and DCD decided to flake out on me.  I asked him if things are going OK with DMV, and all I got was:

After this - Crickets!   He didn't respond to messages, nor did he answer to phone calls.  He has the signed bill of sale, and all the paperwork needed to register the car in his name.  But if he can't register the car AND the car is stuck in my driveway, I'm the one holding the bag for the car until I can figure out a way to get the title back in my name and a proper copy of the release of lien.

DCD is acting like an embarrassed child who is afraid to take responsibility for his actions.  Sadly, I still have to act like an adult and deal with him until he does the right thing.  Then, I can disconnect completely, as his "friendship" has been shown to be worthless.

I'm almost ready to sign away my old car.

 

Sometimes, I feel like I'm negotiating a contract with the fellow on the left.  DCD asks me a lot of questions that he should be able to answer by himself, such as computing Connecticut's tax on the car which he will soon be registering.

The other day, I met for DCD for a bite to eat, and I was ready to sign the bill of sale and the title, so that he could take these forms, plus the release of lien, and get the car registered in his name.  He wasn't ready to do that, as he still had to schedule an in-person visit to Connecticut DMV to get the car registered and get the plates for the car.  Hopefully, we'll be able to take care of this soon.

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Right now, the old car is sitting in an assigned parking spot, waiting for DCD to drive it away.  I want it gone by the end of the month, as I don't want a car I can't drive sitting in my driveway as long as my old PT Cruiser sat after its transmission failed.  Although I gave away that car 10 years ago, it never got on the road again.  The new owner planned to get the car fixed and never did, as he passed away before he had the chance to do so.

I'm lucky to have two parking spots I can use, as one spot blocks in the car in front of it when two cars are parked in these spots.  This is not much of an issue for a married couple, as they would be able to move a car so that the blocked-in car could get out.  But it wouldn't work if the two cars were owned by non-relatives. Yet, if I could find a Cheap, Low-Mileage, Well-Maintained 2 seat gas fueled Smart car, I might buy it - if only to be able to visit RQS and have a good chance of finding a parking spot quickly.

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If this deal with DCD falls through, I might put my old car back on the road again, just to have something cheap to drive to RQS's place.  Hopefully, this won't happen.....

Tax Paperwork - a short post

 

Getting ready to have my taxes done is always an awkward experience.  Gathering up my forms is the easiest part of the process, save for the rental property that both my brother and I share an interest.  Given that my brother is a well paid, but overworked person, I rarely have received this last set of financials on time.

I'm glad that I'm not an accountant at this time of year.  One's person's numbers and forms would likely blend into someone else's in my mind - and I'd screw up both people's returns.  So I respect my brother a lot for starting a second career in his 40's, and doing well up to this point.  

Right now, my brother has got the weight of the world on him, and all I can do is give him encouragement.  He will soon have a lot of hard decisions in front of him, and all I can do is listen when he needs an ear, as well as remind him of what he's already accomplished in such a short time in a career.

In the end, my brother will still end up doing tax forms, if not for a large corporation, then for his family.  I wish him the best....

Trying to keep on top of things - a short post

 

 

As my long time readers are aware, I am on my co-op's board of directors.  And the thing I hate doing most is paperwork - especially the type that I need to take notes for, or to record financial information.  So what happened to me?  I am now the official note taker for our monthly meetings, and have to deal with monthly minutes.  What bothers me more is that my brother is asking me to take care of all the paperwork for the family homestead, something I know I'll screw up no matter how easy he tries to make it for me.

It's hard for me to deal with paperwork, as I will gloss over things that should have been recorded and that I will misfile things in logical places.  And now, I'm trying to keep on top of things for which my actions could affect others.  AARGH!

Soon it will be time to take care of my taxes.  Hopefully, I will have overpaid enough during the period that I worked last year, so that what I underpaid from my pension will not cause me any negative tax consequences.  Next year, I can fix this issue by over withholding taxes from my social security payments.  Until then, I have to stay on top of things, so that I have enough money in the right places to pay my taxes.... 

I wish I had a picture of me without glasses.

NCL notified me that I had to check in for my cruise.  Although I was ready and willing to do so, I did not have a picture of me available that was suitable - all of the shots I've saved on this computer in female presentation have me wearing glasses.  So I will need to wait until the next time I'm dressed as Marian before I can take a photo of me without glasses.

Getting all the paperwork in order before a trip is a pain in the ass.  This time, I have to take care of airline check-in procedures in addition to cruise line check-in procedures. Although taking care of things isn't that difficult, more can go wrong and cause me trouble when at the airport or in Hawaii.  So I want to be sure that I have gotten things right before leaving home to go on my cruise.

Right now, I have started to arrange both my carry-on bag and my toiletry kit for my outbound travel. Even though I may not need to take off my shoes or pull out my electronics and liquids (I have trusted traveler status), I still have to follow the rules for passing through a security checkpoint.  In short, I have to be prepared for the random "SSSS" printed on the bottom of my boarding pass, whether or not I am actually subject to special screening. And then, I have to wait to get on the plane. Once I'm finally on the plane, I must be ready to be uncomfortable for the next 12 hours.  I'm lucky that I paid for confirmed seats on the aisle, as I may have a little more room to stretch out now and then. And I won't be disturbing anyone as I get out of my seat to go to the loo.   

When I last contacted Kim (Traveling Transgender), she didn't have much advice for me.  So I will likely need to talk to the TSA agent before going through the security checkpoint and ask for appropriate screening.  After I have successfully done this once, I expect I will have little trouble on the return trip.  (I'll be sure to keep emergency information on hand, lest I get stuck at the airport.)  This will be a new experience for me - Flying Pretty.  Kim has done this many times, and has written about it in her blog.  Sadly, she doesn't write much anymore, as her job now keeps her "down on the farm" much more now than in the past.

If I felt it were right for me at this time, I'd do several things.  First, I'd change my name to use the familiar version of my first name (works for both genders).  Then, I'd get partial FFS (Facial Feminization Surgery) to make my face androgynous. And finally, I'd get some electrolysis done to remove my beard, and to eliminate the hairs on my back that I can't shave off by myself.  (If I had the time and money, I'd remove all the hair below the neck, save maybe my pubic hair.  But that's an expensive proposition.)  With these changes, I could get a wig styled in a way that I could go out as a female one day, and then use another wig (a toupee) for use when I want to present as a male.  Then, I could present my ID, and people would be looking at my face, and not the gender marker on the ID.

Compared to many other transgender folk, I still have it good.  I've found that most people don't give a damn about how ugly a female I am, or how fat a male I am when I present in the associated gender.  I have a girlfriend who says she loves me, and I will do what it takes to preserve the relationship - even if I slow down my journey on this transgender path....

 

Cruising issues

 

I don't want to belabor something that frustrated me today - billing issues from my doctor's office caused by the office sending paperwork to the wrong insurance company.  So I'll talk about something more pleasant, and deal with this issue tomorrow....

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The above cruise route has already been changed to deal with the problem at Skagway.  Many ships originally scheduled to port at Skagway are now going to other Alaskan ports due to multiple rock slides making it unsafe to use the Railroad Dock.  Hopefully, they will be able to stabilize the land above the dock before next year's cruise season.

Skagway is my favorite port in Alaska.  The White Pass & Yukon Railroad is a must for any Inside Passage trip.  And I'd like to take this train again, if I can find a way to get to Alaska on another cruise.  However, I had no intentions of taking this "2 bucket list trip" cruise, and coming back with Covid-19 as my souvenir. (I also did not want to pay a high price for airfare, given both the high cost and inconvenience of air travel this year.)  Now, with the Railroad Dock unavailable to most cruise ships, ships are either stopping at Haines or Icy Strait Point, or they are adding an extra Sea Day to their cruises.

Assuming all goes well with my current relationship, I expect that we will be in Alaska and/or Hawaii sometime in the next few years.  Will we take a repositioning cruise like the one in the route map at the top of this entry?  Will we take a Hawaii cruise (from the West Coast or from Oahu?)  Will we take an Alaska cruise (Inside Passage or Northbound/Southbound to/from Denali)?  RQS has never taken what I'd call a bucket list trip, and it would be nice to share one with her.

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Thinking about what is going right in my relationship with RQS makes me think about what went wrong in my previous long term relationship.  Strangely enough, learning the things that bothered XGFJ have made it possible not to make those mistakes with RQS.  All XGFJ needed to do was put me on the spot and make things clear.  Instead, she decided to take the "easy" way out and hint to me what her needs were - dooming the relationship via a lack of effective communication.  Yes, there are other issues I see in the rear view mirror. But I put the blame for our relationship's failure with a lack of effective communication - a mistake I intend to prevent myself or RQS from making in our current relationship.