We decided to take a couple of short "cruises"

 

 

"All Under Heaven Are Equal."

Today, RQS and I decided to see a movie in the city.  One problem: We had to take the subway to get there, and her line wasn't running due to construction on the line.  So, it was off to the bus stop where we waited for a long time.  No, it was not the normal 5-10 minute wait.  Instead, it was a close to 20 minute wait, as the construction going on 2 blocks away was fouling up traffic for blocks around.  

As we usually do when we decide to take the bus to the subway, we walk a couple of blocks to the nearby express bus stop. And that's where we waited.  Buses tried to make the left turn onto an Eastbound street, only to find out that construction related jams were forcing everyone to back into the intersection to turn and take a circuitous route around the construction zone.  Flushing bound buses were taking roads usually used by Brooklyn bound buses causing even greater confusion for many riders. And as far as I can tell, it was all because a single key intersection was closed to vehicular traffic for the weekend.

We eventually made it to a subway line that was running and made it into the city.  And then we took the "backdoor" route to Chinatown to reach the Nom Wah Tea Parlor. (Ping's was closed for renovations, scheduled to be open next weekend.) Sadly, there was a 60 minute wait to get into the place.  So it was off to find another nearby place - and we did just that.  The food was acceptable, but not as our other go-to places. 

 
After lunch, it was off to the Staten Island Ferry.  Neither of us had taken the ferry in years, and I figured that it would be a nice way to kill some time.  So, off we went to the ferry, and onward to Staten Island.  For those who want a pleasant way to kill 60-90 minutes, a round trip on the ferry would be a good way to do this.  Once we were done with the ferry, it was off to the movies and  that's where our problems began.  

RQS had read the theater's movie schedule, and we believed that the movie we wanted to see was showing at 5:30.  One problem - the movie was scheduled for Sunday, not Saturday.  Now, we were on the West side of Manhattan with an awkward walk to take us to a subway station from where we could go home.

We finally made it to the subway, and it was almost a case of "you can't get there from here."  But we did get to the line we wanted to reach, and made it to a station near her home.  After a stop at the supermarket, we had to wait for a bus to take us home. By now, it was 3 miles of walking for us, and we were too tired to cook.  So, again it was Door Dash to the rescue - albeit with 30% higher prices than if the restaurant had been doing its own delivery.  (I avoid using them at all costs, as I don't believe that they should be nicking the restaurants 30% of the bill, instead of levying a fixed service charge.) At least, we didn't have to go back outside to pickup the fixings for dinner.

Car Maintenance - Ouch!

 

Although this muffler was installed over 2 years ago, it is a reminder of car maintenance that both had to be done now, and maintenance that had to be delayed until conditions were right.  In the case of the muffler, the car needed a longer pipe to finish the replacement of the exhaust system - and that had to wait a few days until the part reached the shop.  In the case of the latest maintenance issue, it was a lack of cash on my part that delayed the replacement of my rear brake drums.

- - - - - -

When I got up this morning, I knew it was going to be a hot day.  Luckily, my home AC was working, as I would need to cool off after bringing my car to the shop to have an oil change, tire rotation, and an AC Refrigerant Recharge.  So off I went to the shop at 8:30, and I was back home by 9:00 to wait for a call from the shop.

Around 11:00, I got a call from the shop, and I got quoted a price of $400 for the above maintenance, and was told that I'd need my rear brakes done as well.  Given that I didn't have another $400 in cash laying around, I said that I would do this maintenance towards month-end, as I didn't expect to drive more than 300 miles before the car goes back to the shop for this work.

- - - - - -

Once my car was bailed out of the shop, it was off to RQS's place for the weekend.  As usual, when I visit her place, I present myself to the world as male.  It was just as well, as it was way too hot to wear a wig - and as Mario, I didn't need to do so.  Driving to RQS's place, I noticed that the AC was working better than expected, and that I didn't need to keep the AC on at full blast anymore to stay comfortable..

I was able to find a parking spot close to RQS's place (a rare event) and walked into her place.  Her (now one) cat took its time to meet me, but no trace of RQS.  Where was she?  A few minutes later, I received a text asking "Where are you?" And I answered: "Watching TV."  Huh?  Then she realized that I let myself into her apartment, and turned on the TV.  She was home shortly afterwards, and when her laundry was done, we took advantage of Door Dash to deliver some food and we were able to stay comfortable for the rest of the evening.

Gallery Sitting

Today was a day that I spent Gallery sitting for Arts Westchester. I was told in advance to bring a book, as not that many people would be visiting the gallery on a weekday.  So I was prepared for a boring day, which it was for the first hour or so.  And then, an occasional person or two visited the center, giving me a chance to talk with people and keep myself busy.

But first....

I had set my alarms to get me up early, and they worked their magic as desired.  However, not having enough sleep the night before, it took me a while to get moving.  After doing my daily routine, I was able to get out the door by 11 am - just enough time for me to make it to the gallery by noon.  

Just as the clock struck 12 (to use an old expression), the heavy metal outside doors to the gallery started opening.  But the lady in charge had a hard time opening the doors, as they were rubbing against the bottom of the door frame.  (Both WD-40 on the hinges and wax on the door frame might help, and I suggested this to the person in charge of the gallery.)  The lady (who I will leave unnamed) showed me around, and I started my shift at the gallery.

During the day, several people came in to visit the gallery, and one of them bought a coupe of scarfs. Another said that she wants to bring her small meetup group there soon. But this was not all.  A woman from one of my meetup groups came by to do her volunteer shift a couple of floors above me, and we chatted for a few minutes.  It seemed like "old home week" at times, as I also met another person who was part of the Arts Westchester volunteer program.

Finally, it was time to close things out for the day.  Women had responded to me as if I were a cisgender woman, and that's the way I liked it.  The more I get practice interacting with cisgender woman as a woman, the less I'll worry about my remaining masculine traits being a problem for me.
 

A surprise contact.

 

I've gained and lost friends over the years.  Sometimes, it's because we no longer serve each other's needs anymore.  Other times, one (or both) people screw up and say/do things which create an unbridgeable chasm between those people. So I was surprised when someone, no longer a friend, emailed me the other day. I will not mention what this person said, or anything more about the contact, save that it was a surprise. Is it an opening to bridge a chasm?  I doubt it.  So I'm going to avoid responding to this person unless I get another contact, just to avoid another awkward exchange of emails.  But it got me thinking about how people screw things up and sever relationships that should be strong.

Tonight, I had a conversation with a friend who has a family problem similar to what I was dealing with before my wife died.  In my case, my wife's death was the event that gave my brother and I the ability to bridge our chasm.  Sadly, with this friend, I don't see the friend's chasm being bridged because of accusations made of a spouse and a family's reactions to those accusations.  Given that I know everyone involved in this family disaster, I feel that it is something that could have been avoided had some of the people involved had acted rationally instead of enabling someone's behaviors.  (I side with my friend on this issue, as I think that the other person has serious issues that are not being addressed.)

With my friend, a family has been torn apart because of a false accusation.  Not even a death in the family has given the parties involved enough of an opportunity to start healing their wounds. And until the accusation is properly addressed by all parties, the key players in this saga will not be able to be in the same room at the same time.  Given the health of one of the family members, I expect that the next death in the family will make it impossible for these people to address the elephants still in their rooms.

So sad.  So very sad....

The story of a shipment being (Mis)handled by USPS

 

I ordered a dress from Universal Standard a little over a week ago, and it has not yet arrived.  Instead, it has taken the long way from a fulfillment center in the Midwest through Chicago to New Jersey, then being bounced back and forth between mail processing centers in White Plains, Phillipsburg, NJ and Saint Louis.  It now seems to make sense to start taking bets whether this package will ever be delivered to me, or returned to the fulfillment center.

Universal Standard is aware of this problem and stated the following in its email to me:

Thank you for reaching out to US.

We are so sorry to hear that. Usually, we do not reship orders after they are sent back to US but since this was the last one we are willing to work with the warehouse and have it reshipped if it makes it back to US. The only issue with this is if it does make it it might take even a month. If you are willing to wait we are happy to reship then.

Please let US know how to proceed.

Even though it took a little while for Universal Standard to respond to my request for help, they are giving me a satisfactory response.  I informed them that I would like to have the dress reshipped, and that I would have no problem waiting a month for the dress - there would still be two more months of summer to enjoy the dress.

As I write this, the dress is again in White Plains, as noted in the tracking information below.  I will add a postscript to this entry if (or hopefully, When) the dress reaches a final destination....

 

Preparing for Delivery

 

Moving Through Network

Arrived at USPS Regional Facility

WHITE PLAINS NY DISTRIBUTION CENTER 

June 1, 2023, 12:41 am

 

Departed USPS Facility

PHILLIPSBURG, NJ 08865 

May 31, 2023, 10:37 pm

Arrived at USPS Facility

PHILLIPSBURG, NJ 08865 

May 31, 2023, 8:27 pm

Departed USPS Regional Facility

ST LOUIS MO PACKAGE SORTING CENTER 

May 31, 2023, 1:14 am

Arrived at USPS Regional Facility

ST LOUIS MO PACKAGE SORTING CENTER 

May 30, 2023, 10:01 pm

Arrived at USPS Facility

SAINT LOUIS, MO 63125 

May 30, 2023, 8:29 am

Arrived at Post Office

SAINT LOUIS, MO 63125 

May 30, 2023, 7:06 am

In Transit to Next Facility

May 29, 2023

Arrived at USPS Regional Facility

WHITE PLAINS NY DISTRIBUTION CENTER 

May 28, 2023, 12:45 am

Departed USPS Facility

PHILLIPSBURG, NJ 08865 

May 27, 2023, 10:46 pm

Arrived at USPS Facility

PHILLIPSBURG, NJ 08865 

May 27, 2023, 7:49 pm

Arrived at USPS Regional Facility

SAINT LOUIS MO NETWORK DISTRIBUTION CENTER 

May 27, 2023, 1:53 pm

Departed USPS Regional Facility

CHICAGO IL NETWORK DISTRIBUTION CENTER 

May 27, 2023, 5:44 am

Arrived at USPS Regional Facility

WHITE PLAINS NY DISTRIBUTION CENTER 

May 27, 2023, 5:36 am

Departed USPS Facility

PHILLIPSBURG, NJ 08865 

May 27, 2023, 3:41 am

Arrived at USPS Facility

PHILLIPSBURG, NJ 08865 

May 26, 2023, 10:58 pm

Departed USPS Regional Origin Facility

CHICAGO IL NETWORK DISTRIBUTION CENTER 

May 26, 2023, 12:47 pm

Arrived at USPS Regional Origin Facility

CHICAGO IL NETWORK DISTRIBUTION CENTER 

May 25, 2023, 1:00 am

Accepted at USPS Regional Origin Facility

ELK GROVE VILLAGE IL DISTRIBUTION CENTER 

May 24, 2023, 11:45 pm

Shipping Label Created, USPS Awaiting Item

ELK GROVE VILLAGE, IL 60007 

May 24, 2023, 3:34 pm

Hide Tracking History

PS: I received the dress a couple of days after starting the USPS tracking investigation.

 

 

The loss of a cat - a quick post

 

My cat died over 10 years ago.  And yet, I still miss her trying to be close to me.  Strangely enough, I feel sad because RQS just lost her youngest cat, a cat who rarely wanted to be friendly and only on its terms.

- - - - - -

From the time I met RQS, this cat never wanted to show any affection.  When I came near her, she would always hiss at me.  RQS told me that this cat was strongly bonded to her late husband, and tolerated RQS in her life when he passed.  Six years later, I met this cat, and learned that she was going to stay away from me, save for rare situations, and defend her territory with prejudice. Over the past year and a half, this cat got to accept me, and occasionally come to me to get stroked.  But it would only do so on its terms, and would run away after a short amount of affection was given.  So both RQS and I found it strange that the cat hid under the bed when her feeder came over the weekend.

I dropped RQS off at the station today, and she made it home without incident.  Our plans were for me to go to her place in the early afternoon tomorrow, and take this cat to the vet for hair trimming - she would not let RQS brush her hair, and the only way to keep the cat groomed (for its comfort) was to take it to the vet.  Well, RQS found the cat panting, and made an emergency visit to the vet.  The cat was sick, and the doctor gave RQS no assurances that the cat could be saved.  Sadly, this cat had to be put to sleep.

It's a sad thing.  I'll miss this cat, even though it wouldn't miss me.  Maybe, it was growing on me.  Who knows?  But I will be there tomorrow anyway, as I need to drop off some luggage for our upcoming California trip.  And I think that RQS will need me around to comfort her.

RQS and I go for a pedicure - a short post

 

Unlike the first half of the weekend, the second half would have me in Marian mode.  This would allow for me to get a much needed pedicure with RQS.  And, it would allow me to enjoy the weather without having the discomfort I feel when wearing trouser like garments.

RQS and I have a habit of getting out late, and we didn't get moving until 2:00 pm.  By the time we made it to the local nail salon, it was a little bit after 4:00 pm.  Due to the holiday, they had fewer people people on staff than usual.  But we were out of there by 5:30, and took a nice drive before going for dinner at a local Greek restaurant.

I'm grateful that I am able to go out and about as Marian when with RQS.  Yes, she does need her time with Mario. And she is still getting used to me being both Marian and Mario. But for now, she is my partner, and I will try to make her as happy as possible.