One of the problems with being transgender is learning how to dress yourself so that you blend in with other women. I've made more than my share of mistakes in the past, and I have been overdressed more times than I'd like to remember. But learning from our mistakes is the best way to learn how to blend in with other females. So, I realized early on that there is only so much a transgender self help group can give me.
I'm not knocking transgender support groups. We need groups of people with which we can feel safe. But Transgender people need cisgender women to use for our patterns of femininity. For example, I learned that I could never wear a dress like the one above to a casual function. Instead, I would either need a very casual dress, or to wear some sort of trouser based outfit. Additionally, we need to pattern our speech patterns and conversation topics on those cisgender women often use - and those do not involve most sports. (Yes, women participate in sports. But sports are not the focus of most women's lives. Instead, it is usually their family lives that they will talk about with other women.)
Once a transwoman gets to a certain point, she must go out and make those mistakes one learns from. And I have made a lot of those mistakes since I've gone out as Marian. But now, I have to figure out what my next steps will be. Soon, I expect that I will be getting my ears pierced. This is a small step, but one that may be noticed when I go out as Mario. Each step forward towards femininity is a step away from masculinity. How far do you want to go on your journey? As for me, I'm still figuring out that question for myself.
