Ambivalence and why is can be useful

 

I've mentioned in the past that I was ambivalent about taking my last cruise before and after the cruise itself.  There were good things I could say about the cruise line/ship and bad things I could say about the cruise line/ship.  But I ended up having the same mixed feelings after taking the cruise.

Why do I mention this?

Well, I still participate in the ship's Facebook forum and post appropriate things there.  I also watch an occasional Vlogger video about their experiences on the ship and a thought came to mind: We search for meaning in the things we have done, and often need to examine the experiences of others to determine the meanings of many of our experiences.  This tendency of our species isn't as crazy as it sounds.  There are some things that need to be examined by the many, so that a common understanding can evolve.  

The other day, someone asked a GOP candidate for the presidency a simple question: "What was the root cause of the American Civil War?"  Most of us would give the simple answer: "Slavery."  But this woman couldn't do so.  Even when asked this question 10 years before, she couldn't bring herself to give this simple answer.  Why would someone have problems giving this simple answer to what should have been a "softball" question?  The answer to this question is just as simple: The base of her political supporters rejects both the cause and result of the war between the states.  And behind her non-answer is a denial of the common understanding of the war that most people in most of the 50 states have come to accept.

When 160 years have passed and a political candidate can not give the simple answer to what should be a simple question regarding our civil war, that candidate is not qualified to be president.  Hopefully, this person will never be closer to the White House than on a guided tour....

It's Getting Close

 

Soon, I'll be on another vacation.  Hopefully, the above picture will give you a clue to where I'm going, and what I'll be doing. The problem is that I'm a little ambivalent about taking this cruise.  My uncle is frail, and I'll have to take mass transit to reach him.  Additionally, I won't be able to present as Marian during this cruise.  So, it won't be as much fun as it could be. With that being said, I still think I'll have a good time.  I'll be on the West coast, and I have always felt good when in California..  And, yes, I'll catch up on my posting when I get back.  

This will be RQS's first time in California.  It's been over a decade since I've been to either San Francisco or Los Angeles, and I'm looking forward to being in both cities again.  In Los Angeles, there are a couple of museums I want to see after seeing my uncle.  In San Francisco, it'll be nice to show RQS around and to explore new places which I haven't gotten to yet. When we eventually reach San Diego, we will connect with RQS's cousin. Hopefully, we'll have enough time to see her and see a sight or two before returning to the ship. Once done with California, it will be time for the obligatory stop in Mexico for compliance with the US Passenger Vessel Services Act. Then it will back to Los Angeles and onward to home.  

Why am I ambivalent?  I think it's because there isn't that much that excites me about this itinerary.  San Francisco is not the city that I remember.  Los Angeles is still a suburb in search of a city. We will not be able to explore San Diego the way we'd like to do if we visited this city by land first. And, Mexico is Mexico - not a place that interests me.  At least, I will have the company of RQS on this trip. And that's what's important to me.

Ambivalence

I've talked about my ambivalence in regard to leaving my job.  RQS had to face a similar problem before she retired, and then dealt with it more quickly than I have so far.

One of the most salient points RQS made is that I need to be stimulated at work.  This job is putting me to sleep.  The big question is what I will do when I leave the work force for good.  I want to travel, but that takes money.  Until I figure out how to make travel pay my bills, I can only travel so much.  Yet, I can see myself producing a Vlog on surface transit (land and sea), documenting trips that are well worth taking.  There is a lot of competition in this area, and I have my doubts that I'd have enough interesting things to say to publish on a regular schedule.

Ideally, I'd know enough about LGBT travel to document my travels in female presentation.  Of course, there will be a lot of places that I will not be able to travel as Marian.  So I'd have to do my research beforehand, so that others could benefit from my work.

So much to think about....