California Vacation - Day 08 (San Diego)

 

San Diego.  It was nice NOT having to entertain my new friend for a change.  She found someone else to keep her company, and I can have free time for myself for the last day of the cruise.

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But let me start at the beginning....

Again, I didn't get a good sleep, and woke up much earlier than needed.  It was just as well, as I had a schedule for the day: Have Breakfast in the buffet, then get off the ship and see RQS's cousin.  Since I didn't make arrangements to see my new friend, I enjoyed breakfast without having to talk with anyone. And then, all I had to do was wait for RQS's cousin (I'll call her "C" for now) to arrive at the pier.

Around 11 am, C arrived, and I met her in a female presentation for the first time.  There was no strange reaction, and C made the effort to call me Marian for the entire time we spent together.  We weren't sure of what we were going to do at first.  Did we want to go to the Zoo?  Or, did we just want to hang out and chat?  Chatting won out.  

C drove me through downtown San Diego to show me around, then she drove to Harbor Island where we sat on a park bench for 90 minutes before going to a local restaurant which overlooked the water.  Lunch was my treat - I was glad to show her that I appreciated her company.  And she was glad that RQS and I found each other. All too soon, C had to go home.  She didn't want to drive in rush hour traffic, and I wanted to get back to the ship.  So, C dropped me off and I did my thing onboard the ship.

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Once back onboard the ship, I took a break before going to dinner.  I had reservations for a shared table, and was willing to wait until other people showed up. While waiting, I saw one of the people I dined with last night. and said hello just before they finished their after dinner coffee.  It was nice to see him, and even nicer to see his wife.  Too bad she couldn't have been with us at our table - we had a great crowd.

A few minutes later, a lovely couple from the North of England joined me.  We enjoyed chatting about shoes and ships and sealing wax, and whether the sea is boiling hot, and whether pigs have wings.  Needless to say, I wished we could have chatted longer in a more quiet place.  Then, it was time to go back to my room for the evening.

By the time you read this....

 

By the time you read this, several things will have happened:

1. My taxes will be in the process of being prepared.
2. I will be in possession of my new car.
3. DCD will have started his process of getting the car registered in his own name.
4. I will have given RQS her birthday present.
5. My luggage will be opened, and packing will start for my California Cruise.

Of course, a lot of things will have happened in between then and now.  And you'll be able to read about them over the next few days.

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When I told my brother about my tax situation, I realized how much my brother wants to isolate my financial life from his.  I should mention that he wouldn't give me a recommendation for an accountant if I needed one this year, but would only help me file estimated taxes to buy a little time for me.  My guess is that if an acquaintance of his sees my returns, then they will have an idea of what a slice of my brother's life looks like.

Cleaning out my old car has helped me find things I had misplaced over the years.  One of these things was a canvas bag that I thought was in RQS's place.  Surprise!  It was in my car's trunk.  There was way too much stuff back there, and I'm glad that I am finally emptying it out.  (Guess what I'll be doing on Monday!)

Now that I have the information needed to get my new car on the road, I can give DCD the information he needs to start his process.  Hopefully, I'll have the old car out of my driveway soon.  If not, I know of at least one charity that takes donated cars.

Even though a bought theater tickets for RQS's birthday, I ordered a little something from Amazon for her to open up on the birthday itself.  Hopefully, she will like it.

And lastly, packing....   This will be a trip where I will spend one day as Mario and the rest as Marian. (I must visit my uncle while presenting as Mario.)  It's going to be nice to wear some warmer weather clothes for a change.  (I haven't worn a dress in California in ages, except while in transit to/from Hawaii.)  Since it will be Spring when I arrive, I have to bring sweaters (and a windbreaker) - especially for my time in San Francisco.  RQS's cousin knows I am trans, so it will be nice NOT to have to change into a pair of trousers when in San Diego....

California Vacation 2023 - Some Final Thoughts

 

As some of my readers might know, I chose to cruise out of Los Angeles, so that I could visit my uncle. When I originally planned this trip, my 90 y/o uncle was taking care of himself and his wife in comfort. Unfortunately, things changed since then.  In trying to care for my aunt, not setting limits, he fell and broke his hip.  Now, both my aunt and uncle are in separate care facilities, and my uncle was just told that he will never be able to live on his own again.  He was not in the right frame of mind for us to visit.

I'm glad that RQS and I scheduled a day of sightseeing in Los Angeles in addition to visiting my uncle, as neither of us thought that the day before the cruise was a wasted day.  Yes, we could have done more things if we had done more research.  But we accomplished a lot by visiting two museums and taking advantage of serendipity when we could.

We were both impressed by the level of service provided by Princess.  Yet, we were unhappy with the Princess App. The app was slow, and didn't always provide the information we needed. For example, when we needed to find out the hours for the main dining room, the app did not provide that  information.  When we wanted to find out what performers were in the main theater and the times of their shows, we could not find that on the app.  We were better served by reading the paper Princess Patter.  Not everything was bad about the app.  But Princess has a long way to go before the app can replace many of the things best done the old fashioned way.

This trip made RQS feel that we need to spend more time in California on our next visit.  Not only is San Francisco worth more than spending just two days there. But the same could be said for San Diego as well.  Only Los Angeles stands out as "a suburb in search of a city."  And who wants to visit a suburb when one can visit a city?

California Vacation 2023 - San Diego

 

Our plan for the day was to meet RQS’s Cousin, then see San Diego’s Old Town and Balboa Park. We made sure to have a quick breakfast and get off the ship by 10:30, so we could meet her cousin by the pier. This plan worked like a charm, save that her cousin parked a little further away than planned. When we met her cousin, it was like ‘old home week’ for the two of them. Conversation between the three of us flowed quickly, as her cousin drove us to Old Town San Diego.

For those who don’t know San Diego, Old Town is where the original settlement of San Diego was established. The site consists of many buildings which illustrate what life was like for the original settlers before the seat of government moved to a new site five miles away. We latched onto a tour already in progress, and learned a bit about the site before moving on to some of the remaining exhibits.

Then, it was off to Balboa park. I can not do justice to this park, other than show some photos I took. “Museum Row” is inside this park, as well as the famed San Diego Zoo. Much of the architecture in the park hearkens to the Spanish Colonial era, but modern architecture is found there as well. We had a nice lunch at a restaurant there before moving on to the artist community. And that’s where RQS looked at the handicrafts that were on sale, while her cousin and I took a rest in the shade.

Eventually, the cousin’s daughter arrived, and we took a walk over to the Zoo’s entrance. This was where we took some pictures of us against the Roaring Lion statue by the entrance. And then we walked some more before getting ready to leave. Before proceeding to the car, we got someone to take our pictures in front of a fountain there.

Once back in the car, RQS’s cousin drove us back to the ship. The three of us wished this visit could last longer, and hoped we could do this again soon. And then it was onto the ship. After going through the security gauntlet (not as bad as it once was on other cruises), we were back on the ship and ready to have dinner.

Once we refreshed ourselves, we went to one of the complimentary restaurants and sat down at a shared table. Two of our table mates were well traveled, and pleasant to talk with. Unfortunately, the next couple seated at our table ruined the meal for the first couple. The lady could be best characterized as an “Entitled Jewish American Princess”. The soup was not hot enough for her. The game hen was not moist enough for her. And she inconvenienced everyone enough in her attempt to make the theater on time, that the remaining four of us were denied that option.

Sadly, this was not the way I like to remember dinner with new people….

California Vacation 2023 - We're on our way!

 

The California Coast.  I haven't been here in a while, but surprisingly,  I wasn't feeling that great about taking this cruise.  My uncle might not want to see me.  I might not enjoy the visit to San Francisco. And RQS's cousin (in San Diego) and I might not get along.  So many things could go wrong, and I wasn't yet ready for this trip.

So it was with a little trepidation that I trekked off to RQS's place on the day before our flight.  I took the time to explain this to her, and she understood how I was feeling.  She was a little nervous, as she'd be leaving her 18 year old cat with the sitter for 10 days.  Even with these things on our mind, we were committed to this trip, and hoped to enjoy it, no matter what happened.

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The next day, it was off to the airport.  We got there a bit early and breezed through security, leaving us 2 hours to kill before the flight was to board.  When we checked our bags, we found that our seats had been changed.  Our plane was changed, and we were lucky to get compatible seat assignments to what we had on the original plane.  We boarded the plane quickly, accidentally cutting in front of the line. And this gave us the leeway to find space in the overhead bins for our carry-on luggage and my CPAP machine.  Given that we were told that there might not be enough space in the overhead bins, this was a stroke of good fortune.

About 6 hours later, we were in Los Angeles, and made our way to the hotel.  We found that by being a member of the hotel's loyalty program, we could get free wi-fi.  So I signed up, but the software wouldn't let me finish the demographic entry process.  This was a problem that the hotel's staff couldn't fix.  And this caused me to be charged for wi-fi later on.  (Mariott's Bonvoy software is crap, and I don't trust their programmers to get things right - avoid the chain and its partners if possible.)  

Being tired, we didn't bother to shop around for a restaurant, as there was nothing in walking distance of the airport hotels.  Instead, we ate at the hotel, and spent $120 for a dinner we could get at a local diner for $50.  You can guess how quickly we fell asleep after dinner....

By the time you read this....

 

By the time you read this, I will have both gone to a doctor to see about my persistent cough and have gone on my California cruise with RQS.  And I'll have much to report when I get back.

I'm not one who is comfortable going to new doctors, dealing with new procedures, etc. when it comes to my health.  So, it took a badly abscessed tooth to get me going to a dentist on a regular basis.  It took me almost getting pneumonia to start seeing my internist on a regular basis.  It took a former girlfriend to get me to see a sleep doctor. And it took a former friend to get me to see a dermatologist (who I should see again soon). As you can guess, I am nervous about going to the Doc in a Box today, and may write another post about it later on.

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Tomorrow, we'll be flying to LA for our cruise.  On our one full free day in LA, we intend to see my uncle, and then do a little of the tourist thing.  Unfortunately, many of the attractions will close at 5 pm, not giving us enough time to do more than one museum or attraction.  But then, I never loved LA.  Its sprawl befits the description, "LA is a suburb in search of a city." I prefer to be in a traditional city.

Afterward, we will go on our cruise and stop in San Francisco for a couple of days. In a way, this trip is our way of connecting with family on the West Coast. First, we'll visit the place where I scattered my late wife's ashes. RQS won't mind that, as I was with her when she scattered her husband's ashes. (Of course, we'll spend the better part of the two days in San Francisco doing the typical tourist thing.) Then we will sail off to San Diego, where we'll meet up with RQS's cousin for the day. And all too soon, we'll be home.

It's been hard to identify why I am ambivalent about taking this trip.  And now I think I've figured it out.  It will likely be the last time I see my uncle while he's alive.  It may be the last time I visit San Francisco and go where I scattered my late wife's ashes.  It may be the last chance that RQS gets to meet her older cousin.  In short, it's a trip with a set of "Lasts" that is giving me a sense of sadness before it begins.

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A while back, FCP criticized me, saying that I had nothing going on in my life. (I take this slightly out of context, as I don't want to rehash old wounds.)  I think she'd now say that I have a life of my own. It's far from perfect, but it's my life and I'm living it.

RQS makes me glad that she's in my life.  Unlike Ex-GF-M, RQS is willing to try new things when with me.  She is willing to get a little lost along the way, and explore what serendipity brings to us.  Unlike XGFJ, she's willing to force the issue and make me tell her how I feel.  And unlike my relationship with Patty, our relationship is built on solid ground - we both feel secure.  It's a shame that it took me almost 25 years to find a relationship that really works for me. But as they say, "you've got to kiss a few frogs before you find a prince(ss)."  

It's Getting Close

 

Soon, I'll be on another vacation.  Hopefully, the above picture will give you a clue to where I'm going, and what I'll be doing. The problem is that I'm a little ambivalent about taking this cruise.  My uncle is frail, and I'll have to take mass transit to reach him.  Additionally, I won't be able to present as Marian during this cruise.  So, it won't be as much fun as it could be. With that being said, I still think I'll have a good time.  I'll be on the West coast, and I have always felt good when in California..  And, yes, I'll catch up on my posting when I get back.  

This will be RQS's first time in California.  It's been over a decade since I've been to either San Francisco or Los Angeles, and I'm looking forward to being in both cities again.  In Los Angeles, there are a couple of museums I want to see after seeing my uncle.  In San Francisco, it'll be nice to show RQS around and to explore new places which I haven't gotten to yet. When we eventually reach San Diego, we will connect with RQS's cousin. Hopefully, we'll have enough time to see her and see a sight or two before returning to the ship. Once done with California, it will be time for the obligatory stop in Mexico for compliance with the US Passenger Vessel Services Act. Then it will back to Los Angeles and onward to home.  

Why am I ambivalent?  I think it's because there isn't that much that excites me about this itinerary.  San Francisco is not the city that I remember.  Los Angeles is still a suburb in search of a city. We will not be able to explore San Diego the way we'd like to do if we visited this city by land first. And, Mexico is Mexico - not a place that interests me.  At least, I will have the company of RQS on this trip. And that's what's important to me.

Dealing with snags when booking a cruise.

If all goes right by the time you see this, RQS and I will have finally booked a California cruise for sometime later this year.  Ideally, it should be a simple thing to call a travel agent, tell him/her what you want, and have the best possible vacation that fits your requirements.  In our case, we have complications related to seeing my uncle that must be addressed, and that's where the problem lies.

 

You will notice that the rate for the SUV is $87/day (plus taxes, etc.)  Given that airport prices are excessive, seeing a $240 total is reasonable for this rental.  However, the travel agent's quotes for this one item are excessive.  He got a rate of $235/day ($470 total).  Something is very wrong here!

 

I could go to a different rental company and get even better rates.   But I prefer to stay with a company that is nationwide in scope, has a high recommendation rate and charges reasonable rates.  Unfortunately, I feel that the travel agent didn't double check his work and gave us a rate for 9 days, and not 2 days.  (I could be very wrong on this. But RQS and I have both done our homework on this cruise, and have found that the other prices are reasonable for what we are getting.)

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Assuming we get this last snag worked out, we will be spending a day in Los Angeles with my uncle, 2 days in San Francisco, a day in San Diego with RQS's cousin, and the rest of the time soaking in hot tubs.  Keep your fingers crossed for us!