Someone too poor to even maintain friendships

 

A while ago, I met a young woman at a meetup and developed a friendship.  Well, not a close friendship, but more of someone I could meet for dinner on occasion, and not miss it we didn't meet for dinner.  

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As my readers know well, I am lucky enough to be able to buy the things I want to buy - as long as it is in moderation.  If I want to meet a friend for dinner, I schedule it - and worry about my diet (or lack of one) afterwards. My friend is far from being able to afford dinner, and cancels our get-togethers more often than not. 

MAR is a 40 y/o health care aide who is getting tired of her job.  She wants to find something else, but feels locked into her role.  (I feel that she's afraid to spread her wings, but who am I to say?)   Her vocal style does not project confidence and quick thinking, and that may be what's holding her back in life.

Her body is wearing out from the physical labor part of her job.  Given that she is not a salaried worker, she depends on the number of hours that she clocks in to maximize her pay.  Unfortunately, she has never been able to clear out her debt, and this means that she will cancel dinners at the last moment when there is too much week at the end of her money.

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Today, as I expected, MAR cancelled dinner at the local diner.  I suggested a get-together 4 weeks later, and she feels she won't have money until July.  Dollars to donuts, she'll look to schedule something and then cancel at the last moment. 

I'm glad I don't count on this woman for serious friendship....

What did Groucho say? (a short post)

 

"I wouldn't join a club that would have me for a member."

 
Before anyone thinks I'm talking about Sour Grapes here, I'm talking about the frustration of trying to submit my RSVP early enough to be able to dine with a small group of people.

Over the years, I have made a few friends by attending meetups.  Well, since things opened up again after Covid, I've been trying to attend dinner gatherings held by a certain group.  One time, I made it off the wait list, but too late to see the notification and change my plans.  The next time, I got in early enough, but the meetup was cancelled due to too few attendees.  (When one limits the gathering to 6 people max, but needs 4 to hold the gathering, there will be a lot of cancelled meetups.)  Today, I made it in early enough, but the meetup was cancelled.  I also found out that since I was not yet a paid member, that my reservation was deleted.

Now, there is no way I am going to gamble $12 to possibly attend gatherings when this group has had such a bad track record.  But if I knew I'd be able to attend weekday gatherings, then maybe I'd shell out the $12/year to join.  

 

I went to a meetup, and the meetup wasn't there.

 

This will be a short post, as I'm too tired to think about much right now.   As I've mentioned, my circadian rhythm has been "off" for the past few days, and it's more likely to see me awake at 3 am, than 3 pm.  This didn't matter much on a day when I had nothing scheduled (like yesterday), as I could stay in my jammies and get something tasty from the refrigerator.  Today, it mattered....

As much as I wanted to be awake by 9 am, I didn't get out of bed until noon.  This didn't matter, as I had a meetup scheduled in White Plains at 7:30 pm.  So, around 6 pm, I started to get ready to go out as Marian.  Using every short cut I knew to save time, I was out the door by roughly 7 pm.  Arriving in White Plains, I parked my car and went to the scheduled venue to be with the meetup group.  Well, there was no one there.  I sent texts to the organizer, but received no response from her.  Something is fishy, as we are friends from outside this group, and I gave her no reason to be out of contact.  Even stranger, the original post for the meetup vanished, and no messages were sent out to notify anyone of the cancellation.

This was frustrating - I wasted 90 minutes of my time to be with people who weren't there.  Since I know I'm not losing my mind (at least, that fast), I know something must have happened, such as a cancellation due to the cold weather.  So I'll ask the organizer about this the next time I get the chance to see her.