It's been a long time since I was at a meetup

 

TCL will never understand why I attend meetups as Marian.  But then, she can never understand what it's like being transgender, and why I want to live life as a female.  So, I only try to get together with her when I know I'll have to be in Mario mode for something else that day.

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Today was not a day I would have wanted to see TCL.  I was lethargic for most of the day, and I would have skipped out on going to a meetup had I committed myself to this dinner in Pleasantville.  So I made sure to set several alarms to get me moving when I needed to do so.  

Around 4 pm, I got showered and dressed.  However, I didn't know what to wear.  It was too chilly for me to wear a dress, as I would have stood out from cisgender women on a day like this.  So I looked for a comfortable sweater top and a pair of women's trousers I could wear, and found something I haven't worn in a couple of years.

I arrived in Pleasantville 30 minutes early, and decided to play games on my phone to kill time.  Shortly after I walked into the restaurant, DS showed up.  A few minutes later, everyone else showed up, and we proceeded to order dinner.  After some more time, my Jambalaya arrived, and I was getting stuffed before I finished what was on my plate.  But I made sure to leave room for bread pudding for dessert.  

Around 8:30 pm, it was time to go.  As I walked to my car, one of the fellows at the meetup complimented me on what I was wearing.  Was this a polite comment?  Or, was he trying to show an interest in getting to know me better?  I didn't have the benefit of a young adulthood as a female, so I'm not always sure of how to read men while out as Marian.  But at least, I know this fellow to be a harmless gentleman....

A meetup on a weeknight for a change

 

Lately, there haven't been that many dining meetups held on weeknights.  Since I am booked most weekends, it's been a long while since I've been out to eat with any of my groups.  So, tonight was a refreshing change of pace.

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Since RQS had stayed over until Tuesday morning, I decided to cancel attending Monday night's meetup with this group.  So I figured that I should get off my butt to attend tonight's gathering.  Only one problem - I was tired, and could have used another couple of hours napping on the couch.  But I made myself get up then got showered, made up and dressed to go out around 5:30.

Luckily, the meetup was in a restaurant 20 minutes from home.  Although parking wasn't hard to find, it wasn't as close to the restaurant as I'd have liked - the lot is shared with commuters, and they don't start clearing out until 6:30 pm.  So I had to walk a little more than I wanted to get inside.

As one can see from the picture above, there is a caboose on the left and an old coach car on the right.  The former Valhalla railroad station between them is the main body of the restaurant, with both non-mobile pieces of rolling stock now being used as dining areas.  Once inside, I looked to the left and saw my meetup group inside.  It was nice to be wearing a dress to dinner, as it will soon be too cold to dress as feminine as I'd like.

After greeting my fellow diners, I perused the menu to see if there was something interesting I'd like to eat.  There was, but I made a mistake in choosing it.  It's October, and the restaurant had Oktoberfest specials to choose from, and I selected the Wiener-schnitzel with a side Caesar salad.  I should have gone for the cheeseburger instead.When the Wiener-schnitzel arrived, the server didn't even know what it was, much less how to pronounce the name of the dish.  So the dish ended going back and forth between our table and the kitchen until someone realized that the waitress didn't know what the specials were.  I should have gone for the cheeseburger.  Not only was the schnitzel leathery and overcooked, but the potato pancakes served with it were devoid of moisture and flavor.  I should have gone for the cheeseburger!  But the Cookies and Cream ice cream truffle was pleasant.  Too bad I didn't go for the cheeseburger first....

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Once done with dinner, it was off to the supermarket to do some shopping.  While on the way, I chatted with my brother, confirming a visit to the Norman Rockwell Museum this weekend.  It'll be nice to spend the day with him, although it would have been nicer for me to spend the day with RQS visiting a few Open House NY sites.  Well, maybe next year....

The only thing on my docket was a meetup, and I'm glad I went.

 

The above is an old picture of me at a meetup.  But it illustrates that I enjoy being with people when I can do so.  Today, I didn't do much of anything until almost dinner time, and then went to Larchmont for $2 tacos on Taco Tuesday.

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Yesterday's weather caused the planned driveway/parking lot work in my complex to be delayed for several days.  Instead of not being able to use my parking spot on a Tuesday going into midday Wednesday, this work was postponed until Friday.  This will put a big crimp into my plans for where to store my car during my cruise if this work is delayed any further.  The one benefit of this was that I could park in my reserved parking space Tuesday night, instead of trying to find a parking spot on the street.

Around 4 pm, I started to get showered and dressed for dinner.  Taking out one of my "old standby" dresses that I always feel good in, I started off to the restaurant at 5:45 pm, making it to the restaurant at exactly 6:30 pm.  This time, I wasn't the last person to arrive.  And yet, we still were disrupted, as we had to move to the rear dining room to get the discounted tacos.

Once done with dinner, it was off to an ice cream parlor for something sweet.  By now, my legs didn't want to help me walk, but I made them take me to the parlor and back.  I'll be sure to take RQS here if we're in this area on a weekend.

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Not much went on, but it was a good day out as Marian.

I got a call today - my new car has arrived!

 

Now is the time, the Walrus said, to speak of many things.  Of shoes and ships and sealing wax, and whether pigs have wings....  Well, I probably have mangled a line from Lewis Carroll's "The Walrus and the Carpenter".  But I feel that I could write a short story about buying a car with the little nuisances I had to deal with in the process of doing so.  Yet, this is not the place for a long, drawn out story.

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So, what did I end up doing?

First, I drove to the bank to get a cashier's check to pay for the car.  Given that inflation has taken a lot of value from our currency, I still find it hard to believe that I paid more for this car than I put down as a down payment on my apartment.  And then I was worried a little that I didn't get the right kind of check from the bank.

Next, it was a call to my insurance company to find out what I need to do to get the insurance transferred to the new car.  I learned that things had changed, and that once the paperwork is started, the old car is covered for 24-48 hours.  This is good to know, as I will need to make sure that DCD can pick up the old car with his own plates.

Finally, I was able to contact the salesman to tell him that I'd be coming in on Tuesday to pick up the new car.  Of course, he wants me to speak to a final person who will try to sell me add-ons.  I know which ones I want and don't want, but I will deal with this on Tuesday.

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Now that my need to be out as Mario was over, I could rest a bit before going to a meetup as Marian.  It was nice to pretty myself up again, as I know that I'll soon be stuck in Mario mode for the better part of a week. But I wasn't sure that I wanted to go to the meetup, and I would have been better off by bailing out.  The activity was a music themed bingo at a local sports bar, and it was too loud there for me to enjoy myself.  If I didn't have a bite to eat while there, I could have gotten into playing bingo.  So, with this in mind, I took my leave a little early and drove home for the night

Lunch with a friend was the high point of the day

 

I had three things on the docket today, and I blew one off because it looked like we'd have heavy rain in the evening. Luckily, the most important thing, lunch with my friend from the census was on, and we had a great time.

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Although I had my alarms set for 10 am, I didn't get moving until 11 am.  This meant that I only had an hour to get ready for lunch. Since this was going to be a day out as Marian, I made sure to shave all over before getting dressed and made up to go out for lunch.  I may have stood out a little by wearing a sweater dress instead of jeans, but I prefer the feel of a dress over that of trouser like garments.

Arriving at 12:30 pm, I was at the restaurant first for a change.  My friend arrived a couple of minutes later, and I proceeded to chat about my car purchase saga.  Then, I had fun telling her about the man from another meetup group who wanted to help this old lady. She had her own stories to tell as well, such as her upcoming trip out west.  Hopefully, the family will have a great time on this birthday trip.

All too soon, we had to leave.  And my next stop for the day was Trader Joe's, where I hoped to pick up a small tote bag for RQS.  Unfortunately, I could only find the bag in the next size up.  So, I guess that's a keeper for me, and that I'll keep looking for one for her.  Luckily, a visit to TJ's rarely makes a big dent in my wallet.  So I didn't mind going out of the way on a rainy day.

Eventually, I got home.  But I wasn't in the mood to go out.  So I posted a quick message in the meetup forum, and then focused on attending an Arts Westchester Zoom meeting.  I figure that I'll ramp up activities with this organization, as it will give me things to do when I'm up in Westchester....

Buying a new Refrigerator

I might have mentioned that I have a refrigerator that's on the fritz.  Although the freezer is working perfectly, the main compartment is unable to keep things cool enough for safety.  Something is wrong, and I cannot fix it.  So, I am replacing the unit before I have to throw away everything in the freezer.  (Even then, I still expect that I might have to toss some stuff because it's been stored too long.)

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Instead of car shopping, the first task of the day was to drive to the store where we made the salesman's day.  After telling him what we wanted, we were escorted to the appliances department where we were shown a group of refrigerators.  I asked only one question: Of all of these brands, which is the most reliable?  He answered that the Frigidaire was the most reliable, and I made my choice: Today's version of the same refrigerator that is in my apartment.  It was likely the quickest sale he'd make all week - and the week had barely started.

After this, RQS and I drove to Walmart to pick up some cheap Styrofoam coolers in which I could store freezer food while the new refrigerator is being installed.  If I'm lucky, it'll be cold enough for these containers to be left on my fire escape landing while the old refrigerator is taken out and the new one is put in its place.  By the time we were done, it was time to go to the train station to drop her off.

Once back home, it was time to rest before changing into Marian mode and going to a meetup in Mamaroneck.  Since this town was part of my old stomping grounds from where I worked for 25 years, I knew how to get to the restaurant quickly.  And yet, I was still late.  YGD had texted me to find out whether I was coming or not, even though I had left a message in the meetup's comment area that I might be late.  But I got there shortly after the text had been sent.

Once done with my meal, it was time to go home.  Luckily, I was on the road by 7:30 pm, as by 9:00 pm, I was out for the night.  Sleep was my companion for the evening, and with a brief awakening around 11:30 pm to get up to go to the bathroom and then to bed, I was out until the next morning.....

Meeting up - first time in a while

 

No, this wasn't the meetup I attended today.  If I had bothered to do so, I would have cancelled my RSVP, and stayed home.  Instead, I decided to go at the last minute (as Marian), and had a nice time....

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I hadn't been to a meetup of this group in a while, where I would meet the sponsor of the group.  So, cancellation would not be an option for me at the last moment.  Instead, I decided to get there a few minutes late, and was glad I did so.

One of the problems with many meetup groups is that people say that they will be going to dinner with the group, and then cancel without enough time for the sponsor to adjust the restaurant reservation. Some meetup group sponsors handle this by giving approximate counts to a restaurant, and then adjust it at the last minute.  They will account for the regulars who can be counted on, and for the snowflakes that melt away with no notice.  Others will charge a nominal attendance fee which goes into subsidizing the fee that the sponsor pays meetup.com to run the group.  Given the headaches many meetup group sponsors deal with, I never felt it was in my interest to run a meetup group.  Yet, I leave this option option open for the future, as I wouldn't mind having a regular night out with familiar people.  But I digress....

Arriving at the restaurant at 5:50, I found half as many people as expected at our table.  I decided to order two very filling dishes: a bowl of New England Clam Chowder, and a place of Fettuccine Alfredo topped with Shrimp and Sliced Portobello Mushrooms.  Yum!  Even though we were in a small chain restaurant, the food was worth the drive.

All too soon, the meal ended and we had to leave.  Hopefully, they will have more weeknight dinner meetups in the future....

I'm surprised that I never heard about this man before

 

The other day, I attended a meetup at a local brewpub where a weekly trivia night was being held.  Given that I am transgender, I was very surprised that I didn't know about this man, NYPD Detective Ori Harbor.

Mr. Harbor is the first openly transgender detective in the NYC Police Department.  I guess that my ignorance was caused by two things: (1) I rarely watch the old-line broadcast networks anymore, and (2) I often take it for granted that the LGBT community gets to participate fully in social life in this area.  

I will admit that I live in a news bubble that skews to the left these days.  But then, the American right wing has gone so far off the rails with its form of Christian White Nationalism. As a result, I discard much of what they have to say because their media of choice uses fear to keep people in line and to keep its plutocratic leaders in power.  

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A while back, I started saying that the one thing a MAGA supporter fears most are law abiding black men with guns, as they can't be intimidated (as a group) by threats of violence.  I'm glad that I have to amend this slightly, as I can include the LGBT community in the group that can't be intimidated.  With groups such as the Pink Pistols out there, I have growing faith that we can survive this wave of hatred and oppression that MAGA stands for.

 

The day after

 

In many ways, yesterday was a day which I needed assistance to get what I needed to do done.  Today was very different.  I had the freedom to do what I wanted - even if all I wanted to do was rest.  And rest I did.

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Yesterday was the end of a disrupted sleep cycle for me.  Today, I caught up on most of that sleep, not waking up until noon.  For many of us that would be a weekend luxury.  But for a retired person, one has the choice on when to sleep and when to be awake.  And I find that being awake well into the night allows me to enjoy the peace and quiet that only occurs on the graveyard shift.

When I finally got moving, I wasn't sure of whether I should go to the bank on co-op business or not.  I'm glad I put this off until tomorrow, as there was another check I had to get cut -and I didn't want to get dressed as Mario unless I didn't have to do so.  This allowed me even more free time before going to a trivia night meetup being held at a local brewpub.

Around 5:45 pm, I decided to get dressed to go to the brewpub.  Although the weather was cold outside, I decided to wear a comfortable dress and head off to Ossining.  I'd never been to the Sing Sing Kill brewpub before, and was pleasantly surprised to find it across the street from the local police station. Given that Spring street has been the dividing line between Ossining's nice and not so nice neighborhoods, it was nice to know that Ossining's government and businesses are working to make the village a better place to live.

At 7:00 pm, trivia night started.  By 8:00 pm, I was starting to feel tired.  None of the questions were in any of my strong fields of knowledge.  Even so, our group finished in second place.  I was glad to be out of there by 8:30 pm, and began to wake up while talking to TCL.  After I got home, I chatted with RQS, and then fell out for a while.  I guess it will take a little while longer until my body's circadian rhythm is back to my "normal".

I went to a meetup, and the meetup wasn't there.

 

This will be a short post, as I'm too tired to think about much right now.   As I've mentioned, my circadian rhythm has been "off" for the past few days, and it's more likely to see me awake at 3 am, than 3 pm.  This didn't matter much on a day when I had nothing scheduled (like yesterday), as I could stay in my jammies and get something tasty from the refrigerator.  Today, it mattered....

As much as I wanted to be awake by 9 am, I didn't get out of bed until noon.  This didn't matter, as I had a meetup scheduled in White Plains at 7:30 pm.  So, around 6 pm, I started to get ready to go out as Marian.  Using every short cut I knew to save time, I was out the door by roughly 7 pm.  Arriving in White Plains, I parked my car and went to the scheduled venue to be with the meetup group.  Well, there was no one there.  I sent texts to the organizer, but received no response from her.  Something is fishy, as we are friends from outside this group, and I gave her no reason to be out of contact.  Even stranger, the original post for the meetup vanished, and no messages were sent out to notify anyone of the cancellation.

This was frustrating - I wasted 90 minutes of my time to be with people who weren't there.  Since I know I'm not losing my mind (at least, that fast), I know something must have happened, such as a cancellation due to the cold weather.  So I'll ask the organizer about this the next time I get the chance to see her.

Two meals out, and I feel bloated!

 

Lately, I haven't had much energy to do much of anything.  But when it comes to meeting people, I find the energy, as being with friendly folk is very important to me.  Today was a day where I might have overdone things a little....

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Last night, I received a text from my friend SJM asking if I could change out lunch from Friday to today.  And I said, "Yes," as I had nothing else planned for the daytime.  But I did have a meetup scheduled for the evening, and I wasn't too sure if I wanted to go.  So, I set my alarms to wake me up, and I got to the restaurant before her.

SJM and I discussed many things, my travels being one of them.  And then she discussed the details of her life, with some good news - her husband's gradual recovery from a health ailment AND a therapy program that he wants to go to.  He is finally optimistic about his life, and she will move heaven and earth to give him the chance to again live a normal life.

All too soon, lunch had to end, and I drove up to the Poughkeepsie Lane Bryant to see the costume jewelry they had in the store.  Unfortunately, nothing interested me.  So I drove home, with a quick stop at Walmart.  Arriving at home, I took a quick nap.  Then I realized that I'd be running late for the evening meetup at The Melting Pot in White Plains.  I texted the organizer to say I was going to be late, and got in the car.

30 minutes later, I was in White Plains, and in the restaurant before 7:00.  I didn't hold up dinner.  We sat down at the table and chose a pair of fondue dips for our veggies, and then had a good conversation while waiting for our food to arrive.  Not having fondue before, I was game to try it.  But it is not something I'll go out of the way for again.  I prefer to go to the meetup for human company, and not for novel food.

Just before 9:00, we left the place, and I drove home.  It was a nice day out as Marian, and something I haven't been doing enough of lately.

Drag Queen Bingo!

 

It's been a long time since I've been to a meetup with this group, so I decided to attend a gathering at a bar where Drag Queen Bingo was going on.  I guess I'm confident enough in my presentation that I wouldn't been seen as anything but a lady (albeit transgender) when in the presence of a man exaggerating feminine mannerisms and styles.

Drag is an art.  And, as such, should be protected by the US Constitution.  Unfortunately, anything that is "Gender Variant" is being attacked in GOP states.  Attacking transgenders is easy for them to consider, as many of us simply wish to be left alone to live our lives and do not yet have the critical mass of defenders to repel these attacks.

Many transgender children are at risk because of laws being passed in the GOP states.  Their religious leaders are preaching messages of hatred, giving their parishioners permission to unleash their hatred at these defenseless children.  Many parents are both taking these children to other states for gender related treatment, and are moving their families so that their children will not become victims of the cultural war.

As much as I would have liked to visit my cisgender female friends from Texas in their home town, I could not assume I could safely take the risk.  Texas has passed a law requiring that people wear "gender appropriate" clothing - and as a pre-op/non-op transgender person, I could get into serious trouble.  So, we're meeting up in Chicago instead.

But back to Drag Queen Bingo....

In a way, it takes balls for a man to go on stage and present as a female.  The art of drag has been with us for ages, and is quite entertaining because it pokes fun at gender roles.  It subverts those roles while allowing us to examine what is real, and what is not.  As such, it is fun to watch when it is done well.  

In the long term, I will try to defend those drag queens - especially when they are reading stories to children at the local library.  Children are not afraid or offended of what drag queens are.  Why should the rest of us be so?