Thursday - the end of the week is in sight!

 

Some of my readers who have been to Atlantic City may recognize this glass sculpture in the lobby of one of the Casino/Hotels. It's a pretty work of art, and I enjoy looking at it whenever I visit this casino.

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You might be asking: Why did I start off talking about a casino?   It's because life is about taking chances, and I realize that I made the right move by returning to work.  Like most people, I have my problems with work.  But it's nothing a make a big deal about.  Others have it much worse than I do, and many of them feel that winning the lotto is the only way they will find success.

Most of the time, we control good parts of our own destinies. One of my friends from the online meetup group is in a FML (Fuck My Life) kind of mood, as her Texas acquaintances failed her when she needed a warm place to stay during the recent frigid weather. She hasn't received a raise in 3 years, and there is no sign that more money will be coming to anyone soon.  She misses being able to be with people, as the pandemic has reduced the foot traffic near her door.  And, all the men that have contacted her online seem to be scammers.  Why in the hell did she leave New York for Texas?  I advised my friend how to turn this pandemic into a goose that can lay a golden egg. Her boss made promises to her that aren't being kept.  With Trump's tariffs on Chinese manufactured goods, and layoffs related to the pandemic, my friend can claim that her boss has not been able to keep her promises to help my friend develop move valuable skills.  She can tap into a prospective employer that once reached out to her (via a headhunter) and do a cold call, asking to be considered for work when they begin hiring again.  (The prospective employer is out of state in a tourist dependent area, so they won't be hiring until Autumn at best.  But she could be on the top of his list of people to talk to.)  She has options she never thought of, many of which can help her get more control of her destiny if wise choices are made.

As for me, I wanted to get out of the zoom meetup early.  I had dinner to cook, and each minute in the meeting was a minute away from the oven and from dinner.  Yet, I was very glad I could help her, as it was my turn to pay some stuff forward today....

 

 

Miscellaneous items of note for August 2020

When I started blogging, I used to have a girlfriend.  Since I broke up with the most recent ex, it has been the longest period I spent without a "significant other" since my late wife passed away.  With the loss of two people I counted on in my life, I found that I was lucky to be able to date as a male - as bad as my cravings were to find someone new, it is much harder for the average female.  

Now that the pandemic has eased off for a while in the NYC Suburbs, I've been able to date several women, with three of them being on my short list.  Of those three, I have a strong feeling which one I'll end up with - and I'm hoping that this time, I don't make the same mistakes I made in my last relationship.

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As I've mentioned here, I've been working at the census since January.  Soon, this job will end, and I'll be looking for another job to tide me over to final retirement.  I'm not sure if I'll be able to find it working as Marian or as Mario.  But I'd like to be able to keep working as Marian, even though I'll have to spend more time and money maintaining my feminine appearance.  

Recently, I stumbled into someone who believes me to be female, and suggested that I apply for work at the firm her husband runs.  If I were to get hired, he'd have to know that I am transgender, and would also have to keep this a secret from the other staff.  (I don't mind people knowing about me.  I just want to control how the message is delivered.)  Yet, it would be very interesting to find work in private industry as a non-op transgender woman.

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If all goes right, my niece will soon have her visa and will be able to fly to Great Britain to start her life with her fiancee.  Both she and my brother will need to spend 14 days in quarantine before the wedding.  And I expect that this will be one of the happiest days of her life.  Too bad that this part of her life will start in a way furthest from her dreams.

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The other day, I received a message from one woman on a dating site.  (She responded to my ad, with me in feminine presentation.)  She said I was a hell of a person based on my profile, and wanted to meet me as a friend.  (She had just started dating someone new.)  I figure that I will meet her and develop a friendship.  If I stay in the friendship zone (as I expect), I'd ask her to just introduce me as Marian to her beau, and not mention my biological gender.

 

 

Thinking of a Hawaii Cruise that I may have to postpone until late in the year (at best).

15 days of cruising, with an obligatory stop in Mexico to comply with requirements of the Jones Act.  As of December 2019, this was the cruise on top of my list, and I was about to book it when I started getting employment calls from the US Census Bureau.

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Given that it's not easy for an overskilled/underskilled 62 y/o person to find work, do I really want to drain my savings any more than I have to in semi-retirement?  If I had my cruise scheduled for this month (either December 4th or 19th), I'd likely have no problems with starting late. But with the census ramping up for its 1 busy year out or 10, taking a vacation early in the year doesn't make sense if one wants to stay long enough to prove that one is serious about taking steps down in rank to go back to work.

The Hawaii cruise is one that I could easily take presenting as Marian. All but one stop is at an American port, and I wouldn't need to get off the ship in Mexico.  This cruise is generally offered when the ship is not making Alaska runs from late spring to early autumn.  And this cruise will again be offered at the end of the year, when any census related employment would likely be ending.

I'm likely to take long weekend trips while employed, so that I can get that "vacation feeling" again.  Washington, DC is a place I could always go to without problems.  If I end up going there, I'll have the chance to see Meg and her wife again.  That's always a pleasure!

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Vacations are very important to me, as they allow me a break from the mundane, a change of pace that helps to refresh me.  I admit that each time I go out in the world as Marian, that it becomes a refreshing time to me.  But then, isn't this the case for most of us transgender folk?

Do I really want stressful work?

A while back, I attend my high school's 45th anniversary reunion.  While there, I met an old acquaintance who remembered me, but who I didn't remember.  Yet, we struck it off as it we were closer than we were way back when.  And he volunteered to pass my resume on to one of my friends who could help me find a new job as a project manager.  Monday, this gentleman sent me an email. But am I really interested?  I sent the following in response to his email:

Thanks for getting back to me.   Although I am rusty, having been out of the field for 5 years, I'd be interested in getting back into the field if the right position were offered.  (I would want to do well by the firm hiring me.)  In addition to project management, mainframe programming is acceptable as well.

Given the length of my commute, I would not be willing to work in Lower Manhattan.  But anywhere in Westchester County or near Grand Central would be a viable commute for me.
Looking forward to hearing from you.


Trying to get back into a skill set incompletely developed after 5½ years of being idle scares me.  GFJ and I had the following exchange about this last night:

What about the job from someone in Long island?

I sent an email back to him today saying I am interested in talking. I hope to hear from him soon.  I told him in my email that I am only interested in looking for work in Westchester or around Grand Central station. I refuse to go downtown Manhattan anymore. But I'm not really looking for a high responsibility job. after being out of work for five plus years, I don't know if I could handle that responsibility again.

You can do it.

Maybe. My last experience wasn't the best one. And the one at the bank wasn't that great either.

You just have to be positive and don't look in the rear-view mirror but through the big glass in the front of the car

I didn't think that I could take over the company and start a new company on my own but I was able to do that

You have the right attitude.

You just have to be positive

I would at least talk and see if I could do it.

You have to go in with a positive attitude that you can do it

It's hard when you're not sure if you could do it anymore.

You have to say you've done it in the past and pick yourself up by your bootstraps and going with the attitude of positiveness.

Yes, GFJ is positive person.  But is she being a Pollyanna when thinking about my skills?   I wasn't able to complete the transition to being a project manager.  Nor was I that good at the job when I did it.  

Do I really want to take the risk of failure? 


PS:  After chatting with this fellow's friend, I was told that he'd pass my resume to a colleague in charge of "Mainframe Personnel."  As I would expect, I have not heard anything further along these lines....

Phone calls : Sometimes, my land line can be useful

Landlines and telephone calls.  Most of the time these days, they are spam calls for me.  But sometimes, keeping the old land line still has some value to me. Today was one of them.

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In no particular order, over the past few days, I received calls from the following:

1. GFJ (We talk almost every day).
2. My Accountant (I had some questions, and I wasn't able to call her back).
3. The US Census Bureau (I had applied for a position, and this may have been about the first position I applied for).

GFJ had sent me a series of messages which gave me something to think about.  In short, both of us may have been getting a little bit lazy in our relationship, and she noted that she was getting jealous of my scheduling time with Patty and with my niece to do special things.  Why not GFJ?  Mind you, she noted that she was doing the same thing when she schedule a vacation with her friend.  So it was not blaming the problem on me, as it was blaming the problem on us.  This means that part of our problems can be fixed - as long as we stay aware of things.  And we will likely have another intense conversation about this the next time we're together.

Next was my accountant.  She and I have been playing telephone tag.  What I wanted to know was how much money I'd need to hold in reserve to pay estimated taxes on this year's income.  I cashed out an IRA in 2018 that raised my income by $4,600, and I had to pay about $4,000 in estimated taxes on all my 2018 income.  How much less would it be if I booked $4,600 less income?  Then, I had to find out how much money extra I should withdraw, if I withdrew $5,000 to take a special cruise.  Based on the information she gave me, I think I'll need to withdraw an extra $7,500 to pay for the cruise AND pay for the estimated tax payments through the year.  (I'll call her after the holiday to confirm my guesstimates.)

Finally, I received a call from the US Census Bureau regarding a position I previously applied for.  Since I applied for both an "inside" computer related position, as well as an "outside" census taking position, I am not sure of which position the lady was calling about.  She said to return the call before the end of the day, but she must have left early.  At least, I was able to leave a message on her machine.

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Later on in the day, I got ready to go to Fran's place for a pre-Thanksgiving party.  Fran is "out there", a transwoman who marches to her own beat.  Going to one of her parties means being there to hear Fran sing karaoke, as well as watch her perform a scene from her play based on her own life. It's not the best of places to meet someone and chat - Fran (and her daughter) love to be the center of attention, and will command it.  Yet, it's far from as bad as I'm making this sound. One can have the conversations I thrive on as soon as Fran is "off stage".

On the way to Fran's place, I stopped at Ulta Beauty to pick up some Dermablend foundation.  Although I got my container in a slightly different shade than usual, I figure that the face powder I use to set the foundation will bring it to the color I seek.  (I do it already with a slightly different color.  So I should be able to accomplish the same with this shade of flesh tone.)  After I was finished at Ulta, I drove to Fran's and parked around the corner from her place.  (Before I go on any further, there is no street parking where she lives, and all guests are asked to park at the church next door.)  Before I had the chance to  sit down, I was "accosted" by Kelly, and got the latest scoop from her.  And then, I was finally able to sit and relax.

After a couple of conversations and too much dessert, the party started to break up.  And it was time for me to go home.  In the past, I'd be chatting with FCP.  But that boat has long sailed away.  Normally, I'd call GFJ.  But her sons were at her place for Thanksgiving, and I expected that she'd be busy with them.  So I drove home listening to the radio instead.





GFJ
US Census
Evelyn