Lunch with MSJ, and a useless drive to New Jersey

 

The above was not today's lunch.  Something like this would mean eating indoors.  And on the last warm day of the season, MSJ and I decided to eat under the gazebo in a nearby park.

But first....

I woke up around 9 am, and proceeded to plant myself in front of my computer taking care of completing a blog entry, then starting on the meeting minutes for the co-op board meeting.  By noon, I had to shift gears, so that I could meet MSJ by 1 pm.  So, I rushed to the shower, quickly applied my makeup, then put on one of the last summer dresses I had in my closet before rushing to the deli for a sandwich.  Only then could I go to meet MSJ, albeit several minutes later than planned.

Even though I did my fair share of talking, MSJ's needs dominated the conversation.  She soon will travel upstate to pick her son up from college.  But this means leaving her disabled husband alone with her other son.  What bothers her is that the demands of her life do not allow her to recharge her emotional batteries.  I said that if we lived in a different universe (if I were a cisgender female or post-op transgender female, and we both were unattached), I'd be taking her somewhere on a "Girls Trip".  I then noted that she has the worst of many worlds.  If her husband died, she'd have had a period of grief, and then found ways to move forward with life.  But, she has to keep taking care of him as well as taking care of her sons, not being able to nurture herself.

Once we were done with lunch, I decided to drive to Lane Bryant in Paramus.  One problem - they had closed this store.  Since there was no way I was going to drive to Clifton, I decided to take the long road back home via Bear Mountain.  (Too bad that RQS was not with me - the leaves are just starting to change.)  It was a nice drive home, and I was in for the night.  

Lunch at the Gazebo with MSJ

 

I set up an Amazon order last night, knowing that I'd want to think about it before placing the order.  One thing I ordered was a yoga mat, so that I can do the exercises I'll need to rehabilitate my legs before I go on my cruise.  And it was the weakness in my legs that made itself apparent when I met with MSJ for lunch.

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This would be a day spent fully as Marian.  It was nice to present as a female again, after a weekend where I ended up presenting as a male due to yesterdays finalization of the house sale. So, I took my time getting ready after waking up, and cooked an egg for breakfast for the first time in a while.  After watching some videos, I got showered and dressed, and headed to the deli in town to pick up lunch.

MSJ met me a little after 1, and we headed over to Croton's Senasqua park, where we planned to eat under the gazebo there.  Unlike most days, it was busy there, and we had to look for an open bench before we could start with out lunches. (Out of 10 benches, only 2 were unoccupied.)  Once we sat down to eat, we got down to catching up on things.  I talked about my visits to the city, my cruises, and the house sale.  MSJ talked about family affairs, and difficulties with her business.  While we were chatting, town employees were setting up for a shindig occurring later in the day. One thing I mentioned was how several people took me as a cisgender female, and she was glad I had some validation.  What I didn't have the chance to mention was one conversation I had a while back in Shoprite, where a cisgender woman and I were talking about menopause, and I noted that I haven't had to worry about it for years.  😇

Around 3 pm, we left for our homes.  I ended up stripping off my dress and started to fall to sleep.  And then TCL called.  AARGH!  She wanted a review of the voice she used on her answering machine.  At least, the call was mercifully short, and I was able to take a nap until 6 pm.

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Tomorrow, I'll deal with the issue of depositing some checks at the bank, and switch back into Marian mode for the rest of the day. 

Lunch under a Gazebo isn't so safe.

 

Today, MSJ and I planned to have lunch in town.  I made the mistake of getting dressed in a nice summery dress, but not wear a top that could keep me warm.  But I digress....

We agreed to meet at the local bagel shop.. So I picked up a sandwich there and waited a few minutes for her to arrive.  Once she got something to eat, she suggested going to the pack to eat our food.  And that's where the "fun" began.  After sitting down, I got up to retrieve some napkins that had blown away, and I tripped getting off the park bench.  I had a mild scrape, but had a little bit of a time getting up due to aching a little from my fall.  At least, nothing was broken.

Once back at the bench, we got to talking.  MSJ and I talked of family issues, as well as the commonality of being a caregiver to an ailing spouse.  People in our family backgrounds were never taught to use therapists or to participate in caring groups.  Yet, we both found that overcoming our backgrounds was something that we had in common.

All too soon, we had to part.  I went home for a while, and then it was off to BJ's for some retail therapy.  I ended up bringing back a Seafood Boil Bag, with snow crab legs, shrimp, sausage, and corn.  For $22, it was a bargain compared to what I'd spend at a Cajun place for something similar.  Yes, it was messy.  But the food was tasty.  Did it replace what I could get at the restaurant?  No.  But it was something that sated my craving for this kind of food.

Tomorrow, if the weather is warm enough, I will put on a different dress and go out again.  Where I will go, I do not yet know. But I intend to get out and do something while the weather is nice.