Giving DCD his keys - A short post

 

I knew that if I were to go out today, it would be as Marian.  And the only thing on my docket was to meet DCD after work and give him the keys to his car.

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This morning, I woke up early.  So I made myself some breakfast, and went back to sleep for a while.  By the time I got up again, it was noon, and all I had the energy to do was to put folded laundry back into the drawers, and to hang some garments up in their appropriate closets.  When I finally was in the mood to get ready to meet DCD, it was 5:30 pm - and I put on one of the more comfortable dresses I have.

A problem I've been having lately is that one of my ear piercings wants to close up.  I may have to go back to the piercing studio and have the piercing redone.  But I'll wait until after I return from my Norway cruise to do this.  At least, I was able to push the pin through my earlobe without any pain, and wear some nice hoops.

I reached the diner where I was to meet DCD around 7:45 pm.  I figured that I'd get a seat and let him find me.  Well, he was a little bit late, so I made sure to hand him his keys before doing anything else.  Over dinner, we chatted about many things, but mostly his problems in dealing with confrontation.  He'll retreat from almost anything that makes him feel uncomfortable unless he has no escape.  So, tonight was not a night to prod him - I did more than that this past weekend.

DCD told me how he got the car off the car carrier, and into a parking space.  I wouldn't have known how to do this.  So, he must have part of a brain to work with.  This made me glad, as I feel that he didn't screw things up to get the car off the carrier.  What did bother me is that he didn't have enough cash to pay for his meal, and that I had to front him $10 for his share of the bill.

On the way to his mom's place, DCD started talking about his family (and his ex-family - he is divorced), and how everyone expected him to screw up.  He accused his ex-wife of sabotaging him towards the end of their marriage, and even to poison the relationship between him and his children. Later on, I discussed this with RQS, and we both agreed - DCD doesn't want to take responsibility for his mistakes in life, and that others' expectations were likely based on objective reality.

At least, there is one thing DCD and I agree on: Our former therapist would never have been able to deal with my gender issues, and that I was wise not to bring them up with him....

Lunch with Maria - with a closeup view of MNRR/Amtrak

 

Today, Maria and I finally got the chance to meet for lunch.  She has her hands full raising her two grandchildren, as well as taking care of a daughter who is not responsible enough to take care of herself and her children.  So, we get together much less often than we would like.  But when we do, the conversation flows like the Niagara river.

Maria wasn't in the best of moods when we got together, as she had several problems on her mind.  I listened a bit, and gave some suggestions when asked. But for the most part, I let her speak until she was ready to let me jump in with the changes going on in my life.  While chatting, both Metro North and Amtrak trains passed by the restaurant, and we had to suspend our conversation for a few seconds while the trains passed by.

I asked Maria if her older daughter was likely to get married, and she noted that this daughter wasn't yet ready for a husband, children, or any of the other situations a woman in her 20's might find herself in. So I had a little fun in mentioning that I'm looking for a good excuse to make myself as pretty as possible again, to wear a fancy dress, and go out in the world as Marian to a formal affair.  Maria smiled at that.  I'm not so sure if this would ever happen, but it would be nice if it does....

Connecting with someone - A short post

 

Today's post will be short.  I had been exchanging emails with someone, and we finally had the chance to chat.  The chat was pleasant, and we will likely have lunch soon.

Why is this important?

Well, to answer that question takes time.  But I'm not going to answer it here.  Instead, I can say that this person was glad that I found someone nice in RQS, and I am glad that she has found someone nice.  It'll be a good thing when we finally meet again.

Reconnecting with people can be both a good and bad thing, depending on the types of ties that bind people together.  One person I know met up with a former roommate for a long weekend, and couldn't wait for that weekend to be over.  Other times, it's like the years that passed were like hours, and things pick up as if nothing happened in between.  In my case, it was good to reconnect.

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Lately, I've been trying to reopen things with a friend from my college days.  A lot of stuff has gone on in his life, much of it related to health and family issues.  His story reminds me of Tolstoy's opening quote from Anna Karenina:

"All happy families are alike; each unhappy family is unhappy in its own way."

With my friend, this is all too true.  I knew him to have an unhappy relationship with his parents and siblings from high school days.  Now, things are even worse.  Hopefully, things will get better from him soon.  At least, he's found a way to retire from his second career.....

Odds and Ends after breakfast

 

I didn't know what I was going to say when I started writing this entry.  And I realized that notes I've taken at work for blog posts are often needed by the time I get around to writing anything for public consumption.  So, I might as well write about some miscellaneous odds and ends in my life.

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It's hard to believe, but I haven't seen my brother since Thanksgiving. I realized this when I was talking to RQS about the situation at my brother's house, trying to recall which holiday we spent together with takeout food.  Since I was away cruising at Christmas, I figured out that the holiday was Thanksgiving. But this made me a little sad.  My brother does not have a happy home life, and it seems to have reached a constant low.

Last year, I felt it important to find a way to restore communication with XGFJ.  Over the past year, I realized that as much as I'm glad that we were able to resume communications in a friendly way, I no longer am hurting from our breakup.  Would I have preferred it if we had never broken up?  Yes.  But, I'm not sure if I'd want to revisit that past.  I like where I am now, and do not miss having to guilty about fulfilling commitments I made for myself appearing in a feminine presentation.

Work is a constant soul suck. But I have a set of target end dates for which I will end employment at this place.  My nest egg is large enough to get me through retirement.  Yet, I want to find ways of preserving it as long as possible. So I've kept working.  One of my target dates is for when I've officially been employed by my firm for 12 months. Another target date is the beginning of the month I turn 65. And the last target date is just before my Hawaii cruise.  So far, I'm leaning towards the latter date.  This will allow me to preserve enough savings, so that a 1 time distribution from my 401k will get me through to when I turn on Social Security payments.

The mother of a girlfriend I had from before I was married just passed away.  Even though I haven't seen this woman in years, I'll soon be sending a condolence card to my friend. In addition, an acquaintance from college passed away recently, so I'll be sending a condolence card to his widow as well.  The older I get, the quicker people seem to be passing away.  Although this is a normal feeling for people my age, I am still saddened by this fact.

Since I'm writing this post on a Saturday, I am looking forward to seeing RQS again.  The big question is: When the bloom is off the rose, will it still bring back warm feelings?

Lunch and Gaming

Although I snapped this photo last week, it could have easily been taken tonight.  Other than the cold, the weather would have been perfect to visit the city.  As for me, I spent most of the day in the Northern Suburbs, then drove to Yonkers to play games this evening.

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It's been a while since I've seen SWD, and we agreed to meet at the Thai restaurant in Beacon.  Sometimes when we meet, lunch is short.  But today, we spent 3 hours gabbing at the restaurant.  We talked about many things: her husband (nothing negative), her family (typical issues, but mostly pride in her sons), a touch of politics (we are on the opposite sides of the political debate, but can talk civilly about things), and issues with my family (I still wonder what it will be like when we celebrate my dad's birthday).  It's amazing how much one can find to talk about when one is ready, willing and able to listen to someone.

Around 3 pm, I took off for the LGBT Center to do a volunteer stint.  By the time I got near the Croton reservoir, I veered off the Taconic for a bio break before continuing my southbound journey. By the time I made it to the center, it was 5 pm - not much time to do anything useful.  Yet there was enough for me to get 90 minutes of useful time in.  But my real reason for going there today was simple - I didn't want to commit to being there on Monday, and I wanted to stop by and wish everyone a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year.  I also wanted to say hello, in case I don't get the chance to say "goodbye" for a while when working for the census bureau.

A little before 7, I started my drive over to game night, and arrived in time for the first of several games.  The 2 children enjoyed the presents I gave them. And I was surprised to receive a couple of my own.  Even though I may have had the option to meet GFJ tonight (mentioned by her early in the week), I felt that I had an obligation to these kids.  Auntie Marian went out of her way to buy them gifts, and it was important that they get these gifts before Christmas.  (Unfortunately, I didn't have the chance to chat with GFJ today, as she called while I was in the middle of my volunteer work.  I wanted to call her back before her meetup, but it met 30 minutes earlier than I expected.)

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Tomorrow, I'll be going to my doctor for my annual physical.  And then, I'll be driving to Long Island to see my family.  Hopefully, there will be no negative developments in either area....

My day started with a chat while listening to Perry Mason

The one routine I try to keep every morning is to turn the TV to an "Oldies TV Station" and watch Perry Mason.  Occasionally, I'll sit at my computer desk and read my email wile the show is playing.  But I try to never get into a conversation while the show is on - it's a moment of sanity in the insane world I have to deal with.

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This morning, I was responding to email and messages while the show was on. And I got into an online chat with a friend while "my show" was playing.  I was not yet awake enough to chat on the phone, so I deferred the chat until later on.  And then, I went back to bed and rested for a while.Later on, I got moving and had a bite to eat.  Part of me wishes I didn't, as my scale says that I've gained a bit of weight since Thanksgiving and that I must get back in the habit of eating normally.

In the online chat, the subject of my former cruise partner (FCP) came up.  I mentioned that the main reason I cut off all communication with her was that I do not like being ordered to do things, and that she was trying to order me around as if I were her child.  You might recall (from my previous blog) that I got annoyed when she started to tell me how to cut a piece of steak. Well, I grew up in a household where my mother knew no limits of privacy nor where her limits of control were.  It is no coincidence that I moved over an hour away from my parents.  Unlike my brother, I never had to endure any unannounced visits from my parents, nor did I have to worry about my mother going into my closets, cabinets, or drawers when I was not around.  FCP pushed my buttons, and when she went too far, I knew that I would never go on another cruise with her again.

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I got delayed in doing laundry this afternoon, as I got into a conversation with our co-op's superintendent.  He's a good fellow, and we found out that some information regarding his employment wasn't transferred to the new managing agent from the old agent.  This put the co-op in an awkward situation, as we were not aware of this issue before our end-of-year meeting.  So we will be addressing this issue next month, in order to resolve the issue in an appropriate manner.

Once my laundry was done, I drove to Beacon for the dining meetup.  I was 15 minutes late, and was not able to sit with the main group of people.  Instead, I ended up sitting with one lady, her husband, and a couple of their friends.  This was the first time I got the chance to speak to this lady without her brother being around, as well as the first time I've gotten the chance to speak with this woman's husband.  It might have been fortunate circumstance that I arrived at the restaurant a little late after all.

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On the way home, I stopped at Walmart to find some sweats for my dad.  Unfortunately, the Fishkill store was sold out of everything near my dad's size.  So I may have to order some sweats online and hope they get here before Xmas....