Lunch with RO

 

Somehow, I always seem to find good restaurants in the most unusual places. Qin Dynasty, of Parsippany, NJ is an example of one of these finds.  This restaurant is attached to a Red Roof Inn, and nothing special would catch the eye of most people. But something about this place caught my eye (maybe the words "Dim Sum"?) and I put it on my list of places to try out - and RO and I did so shortly before one of my Autumn cruises.

- - - - - -

Recently, RO and I found the time to get together again, and we chose this place because it was halfway between our two houses.  We were both glad we did so, as we had a very tasty and filling meal for a very reasonable price.  While eating, we caught up on what was going on with each others' lives, with me running on and on about my December cruise. It's nice to know that both of us went into dating to find friends first, and then a mate.  Her body is starting that slow path to breaking down, as she can no longer walk moderate distances anymore.  I'm glad that I didn't choose her for a girlfriend, or I might have ended up like Ex-GF-M.  Luckily, RO has become a good friend, and accepts me as Marian.

When RO and I left the restaurant, we each went our own ways.  I left to see if the Lane Bryant store in Paramus had a double breasted coat I was interested in.  The first thing I did upon entering the store was to look for the coat and try it on.  Although it had a good feel, I decided to pass on it, because of how the buttons worked.  (I didn't like how the inside button was placed.)  At this point, rush hour was starting, so I drove home to spend the rest of the evening.

Two meals out, and I feel bloated!

 

Lately, I haven't had much energy to do much of anything.  But when it comes to meeting people, I find the energy, as being with friendly folk is very important to me.  Today was a day where I might have overdone things a little....

- - - - - -

Last night, I received a text from my friend SJM asking if I could change out lunch from Friday to today.  And I said, "Yes," as I had nothing else planned for the daytime.  But I did have a meetup scheduled for the evening, and I wasn't too sure if I wanted to go.  So, I set my alarms to wake me up, and I got to the restaurant before her.

SJM and I discussed many things, my travels being one of them.  And then she discussed the details of her life, with some good news - her husband's gradual recovery from a health ailment AND a therapy program that he wants to go to.  He is finally optimistic about his life, and she will move heaven and earth to give him the chance to again live a normal life.

All too soon, lunch had to end, and I drove up to the Poughkeepsie Lane Bryant to see the costume jewelry they had in the store.  Unfortunately, nothing interested me.  So I drove home, with a quick stop at Walmart.  Arriving at home, I took a quick nap.  Then I realized that I'd be running late for the evening meetup at The Melting Pot in White Plains.  I texted the organizer to say I was going to be late, and got in the car.

30 minutes later, I was in White Plains, and in the restaurant before 7:00.  I didn't hold up dinner.  We sat down at the table and chose a pair of fondue dips for our veggies, and then had a good conversation while waiting for our food to arrive.  Not having fondue before, I was game to try it.  But it is not something I'll go out of the way for again.  I prefer to go to the meetup for human company, and not for novel food.

Just before 9:00, we left the place, and I drove home.  It was a nice day out as Marian, and something I haven't been doing enough of lately.

UPS fouled up, and now I will soon have 2 Dresses

 

A couple of days ago, I reported a delivery screw up regarding the above dress.  UPS and Lane Bryant reported this dress as being delivered.  However, it was not in my apartment's entryway, nor was it in front of my door. So I promptly called Lane Bryant to rectify the situation, and they sent me another dress without charge.  Yesterday, I received the above dress, and it looks better on me than it looks like in the picture.

Very early this morning, 1:30 am, as I've started writing this post, I receive a message from Lane Bryant - I will be getting a package delivered later today.  What could this be?  

Well....

I checked the timing of all my communications with Lane Bryant, UPS and the Post Office, and I think I know what happened:

1. Lane Bryant ships the package to me via UPS.
2. Two days ago, UPS and Lane Bryant say that the package was delivered to my door.
   (Lane Bryant is using UPS's tracking system to be notified of delivery, then sends me a message as well.)
3. I call Lane Bryant, and they issue a refund for the original shipment.  At this time, I place another order for the same dress at the same price as when I placed my original order.
4. Yesterday, a dress arrives at my door while I'm cleaning up the apartment.  (Dress #1)
   
5. After doing some shopping, I try on the dress and take the above photo.
6. The clock strikes midnight, and I get up to write my blog entry for the day.
7. At approximately 1:30, I see a message in my email from Lane Bryant - my package will arrive tomorrow.  (Dress #2)

From what I can tell, UPS decided to use the post office for last mile delivery.  Dress #1 was the dress that was reported as being delivered by both Lane Bryant and by UPS.  UPS reported delivery as complete when it wasn't.  Additionally, UPS reported the dress as having been left in the vestibule of my apartment.  So I had legitimate reason to believe that the package was not delivered to the right location.  The notification I just received probably refers to Dress #2.  This time, UPS does not look like it is involved with the delivery - the post office is handling the dress from first to last mile. 

At least, I can return one of the two dresses....

My dress was not delivered like they said

 

I have mentioned this dress before.  It's something I plan to wear on Gala night on my upcoming December cruise.  However, it was not delivered as claimed, and I had to make some phone calls regarding the "delivery".

But first...

My alarms were set for 9:00 am, 9:30 am, and 10:00 am, so that I could make it to Arts Westchester by noon for Gallery Sitting. These alarms were needed, as I needed extra incentive to become fully conscious this morning.  Once conscious, I scanned my email, got ready to gallery sit, then drove to White Plains.

I got to White Plains with a minute or two to spare.  But no one was coming down to open the gallery.  So, I waited on the stairs for a few minutes, then went upstairs to find out what was going on.  Arriving on the 3rd floor, I found it virtually empty.  But I found someone who could help me, and the gallery was opened.

Halfway through the afternoon, I took a break for lunch, then returned for the rest of my shift.  And things were very different when I returned - AW's staff was preparing the gallery for a function to be held the next morning.  Just before I finished my shift, I received a message: Game Night was being cancelled, as the hosts' home had no electricity.  So, I figured that I might as well drive home.

Arriving home, I noticed a giant box in the hallway - someone had ordered a large shipment of toilet paper from Amazon.  At the same time, I received a message: UPS claimed that it had delivered my dress.  But the dress was nowhere to be found.  So, I put my dinner to be in the refrigerator and started to make a claim with UPS and to tell Lane Bryant that my dress wasn't delivered.  The long and short of this is that Lane Bryant decided to refund my original purchase, and place a replacement order to get a dress to me by mid next week.  Hopefully, there will be no other complications with this transaction.

A short weekend with RQS as Marian

Even though RQS and I were going to spend less time together than what has become usual, this was going to turn out to be a special weekend - we would be getting pedicures together.  Finally, a whole weekend together where I'd be in Marian Mode!

- - - - - -

Unlike the past few weekends that RQS came to visit, she had things to do before getting on the Northbound train to Croton.  Arriving at dinnertime, RQS said that she wanted to eat either Mexican, Indian, or Japanese (Sushi) cuisines.  And the first place I could think of was near the Walmart in Mohegan Lake - Wild Fusion Asian Sushi Bar & Grill.  

Arriving at the restaurant around 6:00 pm, we found that the restaurant was almost empty.  Shortly after being seated, our orders were taken - and then we were forgotten about for a while. Things had changed since I was last here with FCP several years ago.  While waiting, I noticed that the seating area which once existed in front of the sushi bar was now a staging area for to-go and delivery orders. RQS noticed that the restaurant had filled up in the time between our orders were taken and the time our dishes reached the table.  Although we enjoyed the food and would normally eat there again, the slow and inadequate service turned us off from going back anytime soon.

Our next stop was the above mentioned Walmart.  I had lost (or misplaced) my set of keys to RQS's place, and needed a replacement set.  So, I figured that we could stop by the Key cutting kiosk there, and be out in 5 minutes.  Well, RQS forgot her login code for the machine, and we had to recut replacement keys from scratch.  (This time, I saved the key info under my email address, just in case I lose the keys again.) 10 minutes later, we were off to the supermarket to pick up goodies for the next night's dinner.  After our supermarket visit, RQS looked at her seat and noticed something unexpected - the missing set of keys.  At least, I now have 3 sets of keys to her place, one of them on Mario's key chain.  That should be the last time I misplace keys to her place....

- - - - - -

Saturday came, and we took our time before going out to get our nails done.  Since RQS has pottery class this coming week, she chose to only get a pedicure.  I chose to get a mani-pedi, and was now committed to going out in the world as Marian for the next week or so. For the next hour or so, we enjoyed being pampered by the ladies at the nail salon.  

Our next stop would bring us across the river, and down to Paramus, NJ.  I wanted to have RQS look at a dress I was interested in, as I wanted to be able to wear it on my upcoming cruise to the Bahamas;  RQS wanted to look at some clothes that would help her refresh her wardrobe.  So, I tried to find the dress that had been in plentiful supply at the Lane Bryant in Pelham, NY, while RQS browsed the store for things she was interested in.  Although I found the dress in an out of the way nook of the store, it was not in my size.  RQS said that she liked the dress, and I made a note to buy it online when it hit my net price point.  RQS found two tops that fit her well.  This was a very productive trip.

And then, it was time to go home for the evening.

- - - - - -

When we got up, RQS said that she was taking me out for brunch.  It was nice to be treated for a change. But neither of us had much energy, and we didn't get to the diner until 1:30 pm.  As we arrived, the heavens opened up, and we waited a little before dashing inside to eat.  Luckily, the rain had eased off by the time we left the diner, and it was back to my apartment to pick up RQS's bags for her return home.  A few minutes later, it was time to go - and this was fortuitous, as there was a (unscheduled?) train waiting to take RQS into Grand Central.  (Later, I'd find that there were floods on the line North of Croton-Harmon.)  Although RQS would get home later than expected, I'll bet that her cat wouldn't leave her alone once she opened the door to her apartment.

A trip to the store and dinner with Maria

 

I've been hemming and hawing about buying this set of frivolity.  The colors attracted me to this sleep set, and I felt that it might look strange on me.  But once I wore it for the first time, I can say that it is comfortable - and I may just wear it when RQS is not around.

But first....

Today's weather forecast was for heat and humidity.  It was not a day to go outside, nor was it a day to do anything strenuous.  So I used the already-present summer excuse, and skipped doing the laundry again.  (I'll have to do it tomorrow, as RQS will be here on Friday.)  However, I eventually got moving, as I wanted to see the above sleep set before buying it with cash.  (All my credit cards now have a zero balance, and I want to keep it that way for a while.)  So, I drove down to Lane Bryant at 3:00, and was examining the garments one last time by 3:45.  Shortly afterward, the garments were in the car, and I was on the way home.

There is one more garment that I want to buy.  But I'm not sure if I want to buy it without RQS looking at it. I wouldn't have much use for it right now.  Yet, it would be nice to have in my closet for a special occasion, such as gala night on a cruise ship.  I figure that the above dress could be dressed up a little by the use of the correct jewelry, and I think it would look good on me.  So I think RQS and I will be making a trip to the store over the weekend, weather permitting.

Rush hour starts around 4:00 pm around here, and I took a slightly convoluted way home.  Although I had just enough time to do the laundry, I left this for one of the tasks I'll do tomorrow.  Instead of laundry, I took a needed nap until it was time to meet Maria.  (In retrospect, I should have done laundry, as Maria left for the restaurant 30 minutes later than planned, giving me the extra time that would have been needed to take care of this task.) At 7:10, I left for El Coyote.  I've never had a bad meal here, and it is one of my Mexican standbys.  When I got to the restaurant, I found out that my cell phone could not connect to any service there.  (It's a common problem when indoors in some places.  I may need to buy a new phone which can work with more frequencies.  But I digress.)  So I was out of reach until I left the place.

Around 8:00, Maria finally arrived, and we both ordered Paella.  Yum!  Hopefully, the leftovers will taste at least half as good as when they were first served.  We talked for a couple of hours, and could have gone on longer.  Too bad that there was no one else in the place.  We decided to leave, though we weren't being rushed out.  Why should anyone stay late because of us.

All too soon, Maria and I parted.  Hopefully, I'll be able to introduce her to RQS soon.

Seeing another friend for dinner

 

RQS knows that I have more female friends than male friends, and most of them know me as Marian, even though they know of Mario's existence. Today, I visited one of those friends.

- - - - - -

RO and I have known each other for several years.  We once dated each other, but things didn't work out. When we stumbled across each other a few years later, we developed a friendship and kept in loose touch with each other.  I had my relationship with XGFJ while RO got married to a nice gentleman.  

The last time I met RO in person was last September.  Neither of us realized how long it had been, as both of us had been busy living our lives since then.  RO has retired, while I have taken 3 cruises, as well as a trip to Washington, DC since then.  So we had a lot to catch up on over an early dinner at the same Italian restaurant we've eaten at before.  Both of us have the ailments that come with getting old, and I was reminded of why things didn't work out between us. (I didn't want to be with someone who would have similar health problems as Ex-GF-M was having, and Ex-GF-M's death proved me right.)  Yet, we could be good friends, especially given that RO is a warm and caring person.

All too soon, dinner had to end, and I had to drive home. We agreed to eat at Fuddruckers down the road a piece.  Neither of us like dropping $75 on dinner when we're living on a budget.  So next time, dinner will be much more affordable, and much more casual.  And for me, this will be the first time I will be eating at a Fuddruckers since the last of the New York State (New York City region) restaurants closed years ago.

Considering that I wanted to look at some clothes at Lane Bryant, I took the long way back home through Paramus.  While on the road, I told TCL about another dress store that RQS and I have visited: Karina Dresses. And she looked up the dress pattern that made me think of TCL when I saw it.  Sadly, the dresses were not available in her size for the fabric pattern she liked.  But she will keep an eye on the site for future dresses she might enjoy wearing.

When I got to Lane Bryant, I tried on a couple of dresses.  One was in a pattern and style I liked, and if I didn't have one being shipped to me soon, I would have bought it at the store.  The other left a lot to be desired.  So I left those dresses at the store, and went home for the evening.

A day where only one thing went right

 

I had only two things on the docket for today: (1) Lunch with my friend from the Census, and (2) going to NYC to see an Off-Broadway play.  Only the first thing went off as planned.

- - - - - -

My friend reminded me of our lunch date early in the week, and I would have forgotten it if she had not reminded me.  So I was glad to see her again for lunch at the local pizzeria.  For the most part, my friend dominated the conversation. We caught up on many of the things going on in each others' lives. And we finished at the right time - just before we would have stayed too long.

After lunch, I decided to stop by the local LGBT center to say hi to a couple of the "permanent" employees there.  Unfortunately, they were busy in a meeting.  So I waved hello, and left as quickly as I got there.  And then it was off to Lane Bryant to browse the dresses they had in stock.  Again, things didn't go as planned - the one dress I was looking for was not stocked in the stores.  So I'll have to order it online, and return it if I don't like it.

At this point, it was time to go into NYC to see Welcome to Clown Town.  Though I made the commuter train on time, I lollygagged when dealing with the subway and dinner - and missed the play because I got the starting time wrong.  (Luckily, RQS and I will be going to see the play on Sunday afternoon.) So, it was back home as quickly as I came into NYC.  For the most part, I could have gone home after lunch and done something productive.  But, I took it all in stride - sometimes, fortune gets in the way of life, and all one can do is avoid the worst of things that could happen.

Seeing a friend again - a short post.

I made one friend from the firm I last worked for, and went to lunch with her today.  She knows I am trans, and treats me like a lady - including the discussion of topics of physical matters not usually discussed with males.  So it was a pleasure to get together at the Mexican restaurant down the hill from me. As much as I would like to chat about some of the issues we discussed, I won't, save for one thing - she's been dealing with a lot of headaches lately, and she is exhausted.  (She's lucky that she's at least 10 years younger than I am!)

Rosarito is becoming a go-to place for me when I'm in Marian mode, as the restaurant is quiet during the day.  It is a nice place to get a good Mexican meal at a reasonable price, and one that I'll only go to at off hours.  My friend, I'll call her OSJ, had trouble finding the place because her car's GPS system had her make a left turn at my exit when she should have made a right turn.  Once she used her phone's GPS system, she found the place without trouble. It was like seeing a long lost friend again, and we brought each other up to date on each other's lives.  After lunch, she made sure to let me know that I can call her before our next lunch.  I will take her up on that.

Around 2:30 pm, it was time for us to leave the restaurant, and I decided to drive to Poughkeepsie to see what they had in the local Lane Bryant.  They had a few nice dresses, but nothing worth what they asked for those dresses.  So, I passed on them, and drove home.  On the way back, I stopped by Walmart to buy some slip shorts, and then it was home for the night.
 

The search for the missing set of keys

 

Unlike most men, most women carry their essentials (e.g. Wallet, Keys, Tissues, etc.) in a handbag.  When going out as a female, I do what other women do - use a handbag.  I have humorously described a handbag as being like a black hole: It has infinite capacity, and useful things can only be extracted from its "event horizon." Once deep enough into the bag, it's hard to find anything anymore.  This weekend, I learned how deep a handbag could get.

- - - - - -

On Friday, RQS and I decided to spend the afternoon driving out to Paramus, NJ again, so that she could pick up a miniature roasting pan like the one I have, that she could use in her toaster oven. Since this was a day I would be presenting as a female because of a planned stop at Lane Bryant, I got shaved, showered and dressed.  Then out the door we went.  It was a smooth drive until we crossed the river into Rockland county, where we hit the expected traffic jam just West of the bridge. But soon afterwards, it was smooth sailing to Home Goods, and then to Ikea.  After buying the pan, it was off to Lane Bryant where I looked at a few blazers that were slightly too small for me, while RQS looked at a couple of dresses.

Soon, it was a short drive home, where the next day's "fun" was to begin.  On the way home, we stopped off at Trader Joe's to pick up some food and loaded 3 bags into the car.  When we got home, I opened the door, put the keys into my bag, then loaded the refrigerator with what I brought inside.

- - - - - -

Saturday came, and we didn't start getting ready to go outside until early afternoon.  After getting ready to go out to RQS's friend's exhibit at a Yonkers art gallery, I noticed something was missing - my keys!  There was no way I could go anywhere without them.  It was a mad search for keys, and all I could find were Mario's set of keys on my desk.  So I knew to be extra careful with this set while out for the day.

We arrived at the art gallery and chatted with RQS's friend.  I was introduced as Marian, and RQS caught up on old times.  Then it was time to go home.  Once home, we tore apart the place and found nothing.  The keys found a good place to hide from us, and they weren't coming out without a fight. After a 2-3 hour search, we gave up, and I resigned myself to paying a locksmith to cut a new set of keys, and to programming the car key - at a cost of $250 or so.  Ouch!

- - - - - -

The clocks changed, but I couldn't get to sleep until 4 am or so.  Sunday morning arrived, and I only had 4 hours of sleep - for 2 days in a row.  But this time, I had an idea.  My bag has front and back zippers.  The front zipper opens a small section of the bag where a woman can put her lipstick, etc. to be accessed easily.  The back zipper opens a section of the bag (along with a bottom zipper) which can be used to attach the bag to a luggage handle for travel.  I've misplaced my keys in that pseudo-compartment before.  So I'd check this area again when I got up.  Lo and behold, the keys were there.  What a relief.  What a way to start the day!

Shopping has changed since the beginning of the pandemic.

 

Before the pandemic hit, I was accustomed to local malls and standalone stores being open to 9-9:30 pm, and many Walmarts open 24x7.  The best times for shopping were often the hour just before a store closed, or late at night, in the case of a 24x7 Walmart.  This has changed quite a bit since the stores reopened to their "new normal" hours.

Today, I lost track of time, and left to visit the mall where RQS and I were last weekend.  I figured that I'd go back to Burlington and buy the 2 dresses I was looking at on that visit.  So off to Rockland county I went, and I found the two dresses in the store as I expected.  At this point, I noticed it was 6:30, and thought I had enough time to make it to Lane Bryant in Paramus. So, I again got in my car, and proceeded to my next destination.

On the way down, I encountered a driver who did not want to let me into the correct exit lane, leaving Route 17 for Route 4 Eastbound.  Although I was signaling my intent, this clown almost caused an accident, as I cut in front of him just before being forced to exit in the wrong direction.  Of course, this clown decided to play a game with his brights, and I ignored him.  Once on Route 4, I signaled to get into a traffic lane, and this clown again decided to play games.  I can only imagine being a passenger in his car!  (Imagine the road rage this person must have been displaying....)  Once he was gone, I breathed a sign of relief before doing the half clover leaf across Route 4 to get to Lane Bryant.

In the past, this store would be open until 9 pm every day except Sunday.  Now, the store has a 7:00 pm closing time.  I'm glad that I only planned to look at some of the merchandise in the store, as I was not in the mood yet to buy a women's blazer that I found online.  Since the store had just closed, I figured that I could come back another day, and proceeded back home for the evening.

By the time I got to try it on, it was sold out.

 

I was trying to find this dress at Lane Bryant, so that I could try it on and make a decision whether to buy it or not. Although the blue dress is in stock, the dress above is not.  This means that I may end up buying a different dress from Avenue in a similar color, or buy this dress in a different color.

It's just as well that they didn't have this dress in stock.  If it had been, I might have bought it on an impulse.  Over a quarter century since my late wife died, I understand the allure of shopping for new clothes.  It's fun to decorate yourself in new ways - something most men do not understand.  Although I can say no to most impulse purchases, there are a few items that shout "Buy Me!" that are very hard to resist.  And I've been lucky NOT to fall prey to too many of these purchase opportunities.

Given that my closets are overflowing with clothes, I think I got lucky in NOT being able to buy this dress....

- - - - - -

On other matters, the son of someone I know just earned his medical degree.  Congratulations!   Too bad that I will forever be on the outs with his mom.  Yet, when I was coming home from the store tonight, I asked myself - what did I like about this woman?  And the one answer that came up was that I thought that she accepted me as I am.  Yes, I ruined our friendship.  But in her angry attacks over the past 2 1/2 years, I found out what she really thought of me.  We didn't have that much in common.  But I liked her anyway.

- - - - - - 

Going to Lane Bryant, I had an hour long chat with TCL.  Towards the end, I told her of a conversation I had with FH, documented in a prior entry.  TCL agrees with me about FH - and I didn't even tell TCL who I was talking about.  Sadly for FH, she will never understand why I didn't jump at the opportunity to be her "Plus 1" for a wedding she's attending next weekend.  I can't imagine having to get dressed up to go to a party where I know no one but my partner and put my relationship with RQS at risk.

Thinking of RQS, I mentioned our minor problems in Washington, DC.  TCL realized that we passed an early test of whether a relationship is good or not.  We were able to deal with a situation of moderate stress and work together well to resolve a problem.  I still keep my fingers crossed each time we may encounter another situation that could cause us some grief.  Hopefully, we'll keep passing these tests as time goes on....

It was the end of the week, and things are catching up with me.

  

 
Several  weeks ago, Vicki suggested I buy the above top to go with the wide leg trousers I wore to dinner with her.  Today, due to Lane Bryant not having the top in its warehouse, I decided to drive to New Jersey to buy it.  This top and the top below were the results of this shopping trip, a trip that cost me more in gas and tolls than what I may have saved if I could have bought either top online.

With my face, I am far from a 10.  The weight also makes me look fat - because I am.  Yet, I seem to blend in well enough to be accepted by people in the female role.  Of course, the voice training I got at Mercy College helped a lot in making my female presentation workable for everyday use.  (Now, if only I could get rid of my male body fat distribution and develop a set of hips in its place....)

But why do I say that things were catching up with me?  People I didn't expect to get in contact were getting in contact with me, and I didn't have the time to do all the things I needed or wanted to do.  For example, my friend from game night wanted to confirm going on our hike and wanted to bring another friend from game night along.  I wasn't going to miss seeing this other friend as well, so I made sure to say YES to that.  Then, one of the two women I befriended from Mercy contacted me and wanted to schedule getting together.  With two events already on my calendar that took up days I'd normally use to get together, I decided to use a Thursday, now that my Texas friends are meeting in person and not via Zoom.  And I had to consider my get together with FH, along with my weekly chores of buying food for the week, with laundry afterwards.  How do I fit everything in to my schedule, now that things are opening up again?  I haven't had to think this way since the last time I was gainfully employed.

If I were dating someone who were coming to my apartment on a regular basis, I wouldn't have done what I did after work today - go shopping for the above two tops.  I would have been with the woman, as I would have put her needs first.  Since I had nothing better to do, I decided to take a drive to look at the above two tops. It's been ages since I was in Clifton, NJ - almost 40 years ago, when on a gig for a "consulting" firm (read: Rent a Programmer) that has been gobbled up by even larger firms since then.  The firm I was contracted to also has been gobbled up.  So I didn't expect many professional memories to be stirred up while on the drive - and they weren't.  Yet, I didn't expect to see how much the area had changed since I was there last.  All the landmarks I might have remembered were gone, and either large strip malls or apartment complexes were left in their wake.  The Lane Bryant store I went to was in one of those malls.

By the time I left the store, all the rush hour traffic I saw along the way had dissipated. So I decided to take a leisurely ride back home.  Could I have bothered to do laundry?  Yes.  But I was too tired from getting up at 6 am.  Instead, I decided to rest, and fell out with the TV on....

I learned something about Lane Bryant and USPS today.

 

 

The other day, I ordered two tops that would work with a pair of wide legged trousers that I recently bought from Lane Bryant.  The above item was not included in the first shipment. Today (Friday), I received a message with the following heading, saying that the above item was delivered:

Delivery Confirmation - but Wait, MARIAN, There's More!

Yet, when I go to the USPS tracking site, it says that the estimated delivery date is February 6th.  And when I went downstairs to my post box, there was no sign of a postal delivery. So I logged onto the USPS tracker site and got the following information:

On its way

Estimated Delivery

Saturday

February 6 

 

1 day left

S  M  T  W  T  F  S

   01 02 03 04 05 06

07 08 09 10 11 12 13

14 15 16 17 18 19 20

21 22 23 24 25 26 27

28

Shipping Activity

• Feb 5

  9:13 AM
  Arrived at Post Office

  CROTON ON HUDSON, NY
• Feb 4

  10:52 AM
  Departed USPS Regional Facility

  WHITE PLAINS NY DISTRIBUTION CENTER
• Feb 4

  8:07 AM
  Arrived at USPS Regional Facility

  WHITE PLAINS NY DISTRIBUTION CENTER
• Feb 4

  6:00 AM
  Arrived at USPS Regional Facility

  KEARNY NJ DISTRIBUTION CENTER
• Feb 4

  5:32 AM
  Departed USPS Regional Facility

  TETERBORO NJ DISTRIBUTION CENTER
• Feb 3

  9:40 PM
  Arrived at USPS Regional Origin Facility

  TETERBORO NJ DISTRIBUTION CENTER
• Feb 3

  8:25 PM
  Accepted at USPS Origin Facility

  CLIFTON, NJ
• Jan 27
  Pre-Shipment Info Sent to USPS, USPS Awaiting Item
• 
  Tracking Number 

  xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
  

  
  

It seems as if Lane Bryant may be reporting a delivery before it has occurred, or that USPS has sent a "delivered" notice before actually happens.  It is also possible that USPS has delivered the package to the wrong address.  In any case, I have encountered an anomalous communication, and I would love to know more about what has cause this to happen.

 

As you can see, the other top looks halfway decent on me.  So I had high hopes for the the top in the picture.  However, a package was left on my doorstep around 6 pm - and it contained the wrong item.  To add insult to injury, I have to pay $5.95 to return the item - a problem caused by their screw up.  At least, they made the return process relatively easy - if I can get to a post office while it is open.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

I finally was able to get up before the day was half over.

 

 

For the past couple of weeks (or more), I've been getting up very late in the morning (or, very early in the afternoon).  Once my circadian rhythm got screwed up, it would take a bit of good luck to reset my rhythm.  I had that luck today.

I started out by mentioning luck, as I was up last night watching news coverage of the counting of the electoral votes.  America was very lucky, as the mob was unable to prevent the votes from being counted. We had the additional luck to have people smart enough to cart the unread ballots out of the chamber before the mob got control of the building.  Could you imagine the nonsense Trump would have pulled if the ballots got into the wrong hands and that ad-hoc procedures had to be used?  Even now, I don't trust him to not cause even more trouble on his way out, as he knows his brand is at risk and he can't afford to be labeled as a loser in anything.

Towards the end of the evening, I encountered one fact that will likely destroy Trump after he has left office.  A member of the US Capitol's Police Force died as a result of yesterday's riot.  Since the rioters were encouraged by Trump, it's only a matter of time before law enforcement personnel rebel against him.  Even if he pardons himself successfully (and that will be tested in court), I doubt that he will have their implicit support if he were to attempt a run for the presidency in 2024. 

- - - - - -

With the above being said, I finally made it out in Marian mode today.  I had the time to deal with having too much blood in my caffeine stream, and started the day with a cup of coffee.  After that, I rested a little, and was out the door by noon.

One of the things I wanted to buy is a pair of wide leg trousers.  I decided to drive up to Lane Bryant in Poughkeepsie to try on a pair in the store.  And they seemed to fit well where I needed them to fit.  However, I couldn't buy the pair in the store because I needed a shorter inseam than an average female.  So I went home to buy the trousers online.

On the way home, I found that one of my favorite local restaurants would only accept orders online - they want no one entering the place to place an order during the pandemic.  Instead of making a phone call while in the car, I decided to go across the street and enjoy Mexican food instead of the Japanese food I originally wanted to order.  (I'll place an order for the Japanese place's Seafood Soup some other day.  Right now, I was a little annoyed that they wouldn't take an order, then ask a person to sit in the car.)

Once home, I placed the order for the trousers.  However, I realized that I may have made a mistake on sizing, ordering a size 28 instead of a size 26.  So I may end up buying a similar pair from another online outlet and hope that it fits as well as the pair I tried on in the store, and then return the pair I bought for a refund.

- - - - - -

Although my sleep schedule is still screwed up, I have a hope of a proper reset in the near future.  My need for sleep overruled the caffeine in my system that kept me awake for my Thursday night zoom meetup. I was able to get two quick hours of sleep before waking up, and finishing this entry while at full consciousness.

 

 

 

 

Where can a zaftig woman shop now?

It's sad to see a store chain die - especially when it is one that you depended on for clothing that fits.  In my case, it was Catherine's, a brand of the Ascena Group.  This firm also owns the Lane Bryant chain, and will be keeping many of their stores open.  Unfortunately, there will be no Lane Bryant stores near me, nor will there be any stores left that cater to the larger, plus size woman.

Over the years, shopping has migrated to the internet.  For many, this has been a good thing.  But I've yet to believe that this is the case with women's clothing lines.  There is little standardization in sizes, and one firm's size 2X could be another firm's size 5X.  This is one of the many reasons why I didn't like a former friend buying clothes for me.  Not only did this former friend's taste differ from mine in important ways, but she didn't know how to make sure something would fit me (or look good on me) once it was given to me.  Her heart was in the right place for the most part, but she didn't understand that I didn't want to get caught up in needless gift giving - her friendship was the gift I valued most, not the goods she gave me.  Since this woman is no longer a friend, I have the memories of the friendship and some of the little gifts I found use for.

In the past, I never thought twice of making a run to The Avenue in Newburgh, Catherine's in Paramus, or any one of the many Lane Bryant stores.  By the time you read this post, The Avenue will have been gone for almost a year, all Catherine's stores will be closed, and only a handful of Lane Bryant stores will be left open.  Even so, it was a shock to see the Lane Bryant in the Palisades Park Mall in West Nyack devoid of 90% of its merchandise.  I thought that was going to be one of the few stores that would have survived.  But with internet shopping the way it is, and the Pandemic hurting Mall sales, I shouldn't have been surprised to see this store being closed.

Luckily, I get a lot of paper catalogs from "successful" online sales outlets such as Woman Within and Ulla Popken.  However, once I lose weight, I'll probably internet order the plus size offerings from Talbot's and JJill.  Eventually, if I get to a size 18 and stabilize at that figure, I'll probably invest in a few Eileen Fisher outfits.  But that won't be for a couple of years....

Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.

This morning, I found an email from my former cruise partner saying all sorts of nasty things about me.  To some degree, I can see some reason for short term anger.  But after 2 1/2 months, anger should dissipate - especially when that person is no longer in your life. In this case, it looks like it hasn't dissipated, and that I'm going to be hurt by an angry woman.

The email I received is a postscript to a prior blog entry, so I won't go into it here.  I feel very sad that someone can keep up this anger as long as she has.  But it's my cross to bear.  At least, I still have other friends that I can lean on when I need to do so.

- - - - - -

Seeing this email puts a lot of things into perspective right now.  By totally disconnecting from one woman as a friend, I enabled her to get into a self fueled vicious circle of boiling anger.  And when someone is angry and out of control, they lash out in whatever ways they can.  Often, they try to sabotage others - just to cause their targets pain from sources other than the one commanding the shots be taken.

No one likes seeing themselves in a harsh light.  I am no exception to that truth.  If I had things to do all over again, I would have been a little more discreet about what I wrote in the old blog.  And that blog has come back to haunt me several times lately.  It has already cost me the friendship of someone in New Jersey.  It has cost me the friendship of a former cruise partner.  And it has catalyzed the breakup with GFJ.  Could I be too open about my life (and of others' interactions with me)?  It's possible.

One friend of mine said to me recently that she's glad she didn't meet a former close friend of mine.  She doesn't want to deal with people who could hold onto anger for a long time. And I can't blame her.

- - - - - -

So when I finally got moving for the day, I decided to drive out to Paramus, where I could get a dress regularly selling for $79 for only $18 on clearance.  This was too good to be true.  So I made the drive, tried on the dress, and helped it into the trunk of my car.  (I'll try to get a picture of me in the dress soon.)  Next, I drove over to Catherine's to see if they had an "all in one" body briefer in my size.  Unfortunately, they didn't have it in a size 48.  So I did without.  (You can guess what I'll be looking for in the confines of my apartment before the New Year's Eve parties.)

PS: Lane Bryant corrected their pricing, and marked the same dress $10 higher 24 hours later.  I'm even more glad that I made the drive to Paramus when I did!