When I was young, I loved watching this show. Yes, it was campy. But it was fun to watch. It's a shame that this show was done with a campy style, as the tone of the Batman comics was much darker in spirit. But what does this have to do with my life?
Well, many of us have to live two separate lives. One out of circumstance, and the other out of choice. The first life is what others expect of you. The other is what you expect from yourself. Most of the time, our outer and inner lives are in rough synchronization with each other. Other times, they are not. In the case of the fictional crime fighter, his Batman persona was a way of coping with the damage done to him in his past. In my case, it is my true spirit coming out of a cocoon.
Last night (as I write this), I had a conversation with Vicki. She noted that my personality as Mario and Marian is the same person, just expressed in two very different ways. RQS sees this, regardless of what clothing I am wearing. But what is this difference? Vicki feels that Marian's personality expression reflects the lack of both the familial emotional damage done to Mario as a child and the social emotional damage that would have been done to Marian had she been born with a female body. There is a certain emotional strength in Marian that Mario could never have, as she never suffered the blows that most children have received while growing up.
Why is this important?
I realize that I never want to give up my life as Marian for anything. Yet, it is threatened by the undercurrents of today's politics. A conservative gay man who made a case for same-sex marriage long before it was the law of the land once noted that he was surprised to see this happen in his lifetime. Same-sex marriage only challenges one of one of our traditional beliefs: Heterosexual relationships are a cornerstone of our society's values. Society begrudgingly acknowledged gay and lesbian rights and moved on to other struggles. But that left transgender people with fewer allies.
The existence of transgenders challenges something more basic in society, the idea that people could be born with the mind of one gender, but be housed in the body of the other. I'm reminded of a joke from the "Addams Family Values" movie where Morticia delivers her newborn child. Gomez pops out into the waiting room where everyone is asking: "What is it?" And Gomex proudly announces: "It's an Addams!" It's not the answer most of us were expecting to hear, but it is an equally correct one that challenges our standard mode of thinking. To most of us, one's sex/gender is the most basic form of identification one can have - and it is fixed at birth. To Gomez, it is simply that he had a healthy child.
Right now, my rights are protected in most of the "Blue States". But they are being attacked in congress, as Sarah McBride may be denied her right to go to the women's loo in peace. Sarah understands the nature of the game. But most people do not. They see the world in binary terms such as reproductive gender and not the fluidity found throughout nature.
As for me, I will continue exercising my rights to go out as Marian, as this is the personality that best fits who I am. She may evolve, like most of us do over time. Yet, she will feel more like a whole person while doing so. This is the most important thing to me - to be true to myself.
